Bocca: A Steel Paragons MC Novel

by Eve R. Hart

  This was all too much.

  “Hi,” I said as I threw open the door quickly hoping to rattle him a little. “Can I help you?” I asked in an oddly nice sounding voice that somehow cut like glass at the same time.

  That was something else I’d gotten from my grandmother. That woman could say something to you and have it sound like a compliment, when in fact it was the complete opposite of one. She could cut you down and you’d never even know.

  His head tilted up and bright green eyes pinned me almost making me gasp.

  “I’m looking for my friend.”

  Five words, then nothing. I couldn’t tell if this guy had like zero social skills or if he just wasn’t one to beat around the bush. Maybe he was super focused, like in some kind of mission mode. My brows went up in what I prayed looked like confusion. I really needed to pull this off because I wasn’t sure what I should have done.

  On the one hand, this guy could have really been looking for his friend. Bocca could maybe be his friend. Who was I to stand in the way of that? I was sure that he had people that were worried about him.

  Crap, I had never even thought to ask him if he needed to call someone. I was off my game.

  Then on the other hand, though Bocca hadn’t come right out and said it, I knew he was in some sort of trouble. This guy could be here to harm him further.

  Was I willing to take the chance that he was really Bocca’s friend and possibly here to help?

  No.

  I wasn’t.

  “Long, blonde hair. Kinda bulky in the arm area. Real smooth talker,” he went on when I held the confused look on my face but didn’t say anything.

  I laughed to myself because that described the naked man in my bed perfectly.

  Wait, yep, he was naked. Funny how I hadn’t thought about that before this moment.

  “Nope, sorry,” I simply said and shook my head a few times. I still wasn’t sure about this guy. I didn’t get any shivers down my spine or hairs standing on end, but I didn’t know if I should trust my judgment either.

  He eyed me but chose not to push further.

  “Okay, thanks. If you see him, could you pass along a message that his brothers are looking for him.”

  I gave a firm not and shrugged my shoulders at the same time. My plan was to throw him off. Confuse him. And seem like I couldn’t give a shit about what he was saying. I hoped like hell that it worked.

  “Have a good night, ma’am.”

  He didn’t wait for a reply, not that I had one. He turned away and proceeded to walk to the elevator, or at least made it look like he was. I should have watched where he went but I also didn’t want to look suspicious. So I closed the door and locked it, then let out a long breath of air.

  After I was able to move again, I moved into the kitchen. Searching through the refrigerator, I decided to eat leftovers that were probably on the verge of walking out the door on their own. I opened the container and took a big whiff as I tried to remember when I’d made it. Since it was just a vegetable stir-fry, I deemed it acceptable to eat. I didn’t play around with meat in leftovers. I heated it up then all but woofed it down.

  I figured it was probably a good idea to get Bocca to try to eat something. I made two pieces of toast, leaving them plain. Then I grabbed a bottle of water and made my way back to the bedroom.

  I was surprised to find him half awake. The moment he heard me, his head shifted to look in my direction. There was something about how his eyes automatically looked into mine.

  “I brought you something to eat. You should take it easy. We’ll see how this goes down and if it stays that way, then I’ll cook you something more…appetizing.” I lifted up the plate that held the toast then walked over to the bed. I set it down beside him as I looked him over. “How are you feeling?”

  “Like this is almost the worst day of my life,” he said with a forced laugh. I gave him a sympathetic smile. “Only now, it doesn’t seem bad at all.”

  So cheesy. I almost rolled my eyes but somehow managed to hold it back.

  The room grew oddly quiet as our eyes stayed locked. I wanted to squirm simply because it was so strange how I didn’t want to look away from his bright blue eyes. All the pain this man was in and somehow he still looked like he was smiling in those stunning orbs.

  “I didn’t know you had brothers,” I said awkwardly because I didn’t know what else to say and the silence was stretching on way too long. How would I know? We hadn’t really talked about anything like that.

  I didn’t know a thing about him. And though I shouldn’t because I hadn’t had many conversations with him, it still kind of bothered me. Maybe it was because I wanted to know more about him. I wasn’t saying that I wanted his entire life story or wanted him to bring me home to meet his parents or anything. Wait, maybe he didn’t have parents. Well, yeah, everyone has parents. But maybe he didn’t even know them. Or they could have died in some horrible accident. Or…who knew?

  I decided then that I should maybe just keep my mouth shut and stick to how’s the weather? kind of conversations.

  Looked like rain, by the way. And I wasn’t talking about outside. I was talking about the dark clouds that covered his eyes at the mention of his brothers.

  “What are you talking about?” he asked and there was a hard edge to his tone.

  “This man stopped by. He said he was a friend of yours and was looking for you. I played dumb and I think he bought it. But he said if I see you…or a man that he described that could very well be you, he said to tell you that your brothers were looking for you.”

  His hands went to the bed as he tried to push himself up.

  “Easy,” I nearly barked as I scooted closer to him and tried to keep him from getting up.

  “I need to go,” he said and I could see the sadness and panic in his eyes.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You can hardly get up on your own.”

  To that, he chuckled at me. Maybe on a normal day I couldn’t overpower him, but right now I was pretty sure I’d have no problem keeping him from getting out of this bed.

  “Baby,” he said and the word came out so naturally that it made me think I wasn’t the only person he called that name. “I need to go. I shouldn’t have brought this to your door, Rosemarie, and I’m truly sorry. But your safety means more than my own to me right now. I need to leave.”

  “You don’t have any clothes,” I sputtered out as he went to pull back the sheet. My eyes automatically screwed shut tight. Yes, I was tempted to look, but I was trying really hard not to. He paused at the realization of his predicament. “He left. I’m pretty sure anyway.”

  “Shit.” He breathed out. “Fuck.”

  “Bocca,” I snapped hoping to shake him out of whatever he was thinking about.

  His eyes jerked up to mine.

  “What did this guy look like?”

  “Um, a bit taller than me. But shorter than you. Brown hair. Green eyes. Kind of a blank expression.” I shrugged because there wasn’t much else I could say.

  “Accent?”

  “Um, no. Normal American type of guy.”

  He seemed to relax a bit at that.

  “Can I use your phone?”

  “Yeah, sure,” I said as I reached for the bottle of water and put it in his lap. “Drink that while I go get it. You need fluids. And you should probably try to eat something too.” I pointed to the plate of toast beside him.

  I said nothing else and neither did he. I could see the thoughts zipping by behind his unfocused eyes.

  A knock came at my door just as I reached for my phone that I’d left on the kitchen counter. Now I really was super hesitant to answer the door.

  “Thank God,” I muttered as I looked through the peephole and saw that it was Sara Ann.

  I made short work of the lock and threw the door open. I scanned the hall as I frantically waved her inside.

  “What is going on?” she asked, her eyes wild with concern as I quickly shut the
door behind her and flicked the lock closed.

  “Do you know a guy named Bocca?” I asked and the words rushed out of me so fast I wondered if she even understood me.

  “Yeah…why?”

  “Long story short, he’s in my bedroom.”

  “Oh!” she said a little too excitedly.

  Yeah, I had shared some things with her. One of those things being that I hadn’t been with anyone in a long time. She knew my sex life was nonexistent.

  “No, no. Not like that,” I said, my hand frantically waving in the air like I was trying to shoo away a fly. “He came here looking for you. He’s…well, not in good shape. I don’t know what happened, I didn’t ask. But I fixed him up as best as I could.”

  I saw the change happen like a light switch being flicked on. She started walking away from me and towards my bedroom in her doctor mode.

  I snatched up my phone barely remembering that Bocca had asked for it, then followed right behind her.

  “Bocca?”

  “Sara Ann!” Bocca said and there was that funny charm in his voice as he said her name.

  “No. Don’t you Sara Ann me. What the hell? I’m calling Loch. They are out searching for you. If I’d known you were here…”

  “I was just about to call them. I’ve been a little out of it.”

  “Let me look,” she said as she stepped closer to the bed and began to look over every single one of his wounds. “Rosemarie did a good job. I don’t even want to know.”

  “Good, because you and I both know I wouldn’t tell you anyway.” Though his words were a bit harsh and rude, his tone was joking. I felt like there was something I was missing.

  It was clear that she knew him.

  She shook her head at him though there was a bit of a smile there on her face.

  He sagged back into the mattress and looked resigned as Sara Ann put her phone to her ear. Her eyes over at me, then back at him. Without a word, she turned and walked out of the room. I assumed she didn’t want to have whatever conversation she was about to have in front of me.

  Then things really started to poke at me. Maybe he wasn’t exactly innocent in all of this. Maybe I had let danger into my home, I mean, the bad kind of danger.

  I was frozen as my eyes slowly dragged across the mattress until I met his. There was something unsaid that passed between us but I couldn’t interpret its meaning.

  Was it an apology?

  Was it an admission to what was running through my head?

  Was it a plea for me to not think what I was thinking?

  I opened my mouth to say something but I had no idea what that was.

  “Don’t,” he whispered and his sweet blue eyes clouded with a sadness. I snapped my mouth shut, almost shocked at the scene in front of me. “Don’t ask. Don’t think. Don’t put anything there that would…change the time we’ve spent together. Please. I know that me being here has asked a lot of you. And I can’t thank you enough. But I just need to ask that one last thing.”

  “Okay,” I whispered and for some reason felt the need to wrap my arms around myself. But I didn’t. I stood my ground and watched him a moment longer.

  Before I felt like I could really catch my breath, my place was filled with, well, bikers. All of them wearing a vest that held a patch with an insignia the same as the tattoo I’d seen on Bocca’s back.

  A man with a big belly and long gray beard pushed his way into my room. He was gruff and his face held the kind of scowl that could make a grown man piss himself. But as his eyes shifted to me I saw a kind of softness that told me that he wouldn’t hurt me.

  “You fix him up?” he asked.

  I couldn’t get the words out, so I nodded.

  His hand came down heavy on my shoulder as he pinned me with his eyes.

  “Thank you,” he said with a nod. “This guy means a lot to us. I appreciate you helpin’ him out and keepin’ him safe.”

  “He’s naked,” I blurted out. “I mean, his clothes are ruined and I didn’t exactly have anything he could wear.”

  Someone behind me chuckled but I didn’t dare turn and look at who it was.

  “We got somethin’ for him to wear. Don’t worry, darlin’.”

  One of the other men stepped up with a pile of bunched up clothing and handed it to the guy that had been talking to me.

  “Can I get a minute,” Bocca said and I looked at the big guy, the one that screamed leader, and saw a mix of emotions play out on his face as he looked at Bocca.

  “Yeah,” he grunted. “But we’re takin’ you home when you’re done. Here ya go,” he said as he turned his attention to me and handed me the clothes.

  Then they all, including Sara Ann, walked out of the room, closing the door slightly behind them.

  I turned to Bocca, unsure of what to say. So I didn’t say anything. I got in nurse mode, prepared to check over his wounds one last time, help him get dressed, and then say my goodbyes with as little emotion as possible.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Bocca

  For a long moment, we just stared at each other. Neither of us dared to speak. For me, there were just too many things I wanted to say. Only I didn’t know where to start.

  Rosemarie blinked, and her body jerked as she snapped herself out of whatever trance we were in. Then she got to work checking me over and changing my bandages.

  “These stitches can probably come out in four days. Most of them anyway. This one,” her finger touched the skin beside the deepest gash, “might need a day or so more. But I’m sure whoever you go to will figure it out.”

  She was nervous. This was new and I didn’t like it. What had changed? My brothers walking in here all bold and burley? I prayed that was it, but I felt like that wasn’t everything.

  I was a little sad that my brothers were here. I knew that I couldn’t talk them out of taking me home. Maybe that was the best thing because every minute I was here was one more I was putting Rosemarie in danger. That wasn’t fair to her. She was good. The kind of good that would help someone like me without batting an eye. She deserved to have a safe life. One that was far away from people like me.

  As I stared into her beautiful, deep brown eyes, I knew it was best to thank her, say goodbye, and walk away from her.

  But something inside me told me it wouldn’t be that easy.

  “Rosemarie,” I whispered trying to bring back the woman that I’d seen.

  I knew what she was doing, pulling down her mask and looking at me like I was just a patient in one of her examination rooms. Like I was just some random Joe that she was getting ready to discharge. I didn’t want to be that and yet, I knew it was best if I was.

  She didn’t look up at me though I knew she heard me say her name. I tried again, this time using all the strength I had to sit up.

  I cupped her jaw. How I wanted to kiss those cute, puffy lips. How I wanted to know what she tasted like. But I wouldn’t. I couldn’t be that asshole.

  As I waged a war with myself inside my head, she shut down even more.

  “Let’s get you dressed. I know your friends are ready to take you home.” Her tone cut to the bone.

  I didn’t even try to man up and insist that I could dress myself. I knew I’d end up looking like a fool. So I helped her as much as I could, relishing in the simple moment when I got to touch her each time I shifted around.

  “What should I do with your clothes?” she asked once she had me clothed and standing.

  “Burn them,” I said without hesitation.

  I had a good idea that she wouldn’t do exactly that. She’d probably just toss them in the trash chute the moment I was out of sight. That was fine. I didn’t care one bit to ever see them again.

  At the door, I stopped. I couldn’t help it. Since my arm was already around her shoulders, I turned and crashed her body into mine. Despite the fact that she had cold fingers, her body seemed to be on fire. Or maybe that was just me. But it was warm and soft. And felt perfect against mine despite the fac
t that she was pressing against my wounds. I ignore the pain because I wanted to feel her against me so badly.

  “Thank you,” I whispered into her ear. Then because I couldn’t just leave it at that, I couldn’t just walk away without giving her some sort of idea that she had gotten to me, I whispered something more. “Ho trovato la bellezza della vita nei tuoi occhi.”

  Then I placed a quick, light kiss to her jaw. It wasn’t enough. I wanted so much more but I just couldn’t be that guy.

  I turned, releasing her body, knowing that she was frozen because she understood what I’d said to her. With every ounce of my strength and manhood, I stumbled away from her on my own.

  I was whisked away by my brothers. Away from Rosemarie. Out of the condo. Out of the building. And finally back home.

  The scoldings came with a mix of anger and concern. I hadn’t meant to drown them out as they spoke, but it seemed like I just couldn’t make my mind focus on the words they were saying.

  “I’m real fuckin’ glad you’re okay,” Cal said once they had me settled in my own bed. “But don’t you ever pull that shit again.”

  Patch was there, checking over Rosemarie’s work though he didn’t need to. I knew enough to know that she’d done a great job fixing me up.

  I had things to tell them but I was so tired and all I wanted to do was close my eyes. Patch offered me some pain pills and I took them just to have a moment of reprieve from it all.

  “Hunt found you. He called us right before Sara Ann called Loch. That woman wouldn’t let Hunt in but he knew.” Cal was doing his best to fill me in quickly.

  I brushed off the ‘that woman’ part of his statement. As much as I wanted to correct him and speak her name, I didn’t. He wasn’t saying it that way to be nasty or dismissive, and that was the only reason I let it go.

  I had a feeling it was The Hunter that had been at Rosemarie’s door. That was the only reason that I didn’t pull my shit together and flee. From that moment on, it seemed like everything happened in a whirlwind. I had wanted to be the one to reach out, to let Cal know I was alive. But I’d been too late. I had everyone on edge and worried. That made me feel even more like shit. That I’d put my club through hell.