Just as Jeff neared the door, Sawyer stood to pick up his crutch and accidentally set it in the fast approaching man’s path.
Jeff tripped and Sawyer reached a hand out to steady him, his grip on Jeff’s bony arm hard, his gaze into the deadbeat boyfriend’s eyes communicating exactly what he thought of him.
“You had better watch yourself,” Sawyer said, his tone barely masking the threat. He paused for a moment before gesturing toward the crutch. “Don’t want to break a leg.”
Jeff looked as though he wanted to say something, but Sawyer squeezed his arm just a little harder. Jeff’s gaze fell to where Sawyer’s hand held him. “Sorry, man.”
As soon as Sawyer released him, Jeff walked out the door without a backwards glance.
Sawyer cleared his throat, casting a chastising look at the three women behind the reception desk who now turned back to stare at a mortified Rebecca.
“I’m early,” he said loud enough to distract. He took his crutch and walked toward her.
She was barely able to meet his eyes as she struggled to check her emotions. When he reached her, he placed a hand on her arm and looked directly at her, forcing her to hold his gaze for a moment. But when hers faltered, he turned her, keeping hold of her. “Let’s go into your office.”
Sawyer knew all about Jeff. Or at least enough about him to know he was a no-good prick. But how an intelligent, successful woman like Rebecca could let someone like Jeff take advantage of her knowing it herself, baffled him. He shook his head. Some women just needed intelligent guidance along with a firm hand to get their attention and show them how they were screwing up their lives. Rebecca Banks was one of those women.
She let him lead her to her office without resisting and once inside, she took two Kleenex out of the tissue box and turned her back to him while wiping her eyes. He could hear her sniffling and saw her shoulders tighten as she tried to hold back her sobs. He watched her back, unwilling to let her off the hook, unwilling to give her the privacy she wanted while she got herself under control.
He glanced at his crutch, grateful once again for the injury that had set her in his path.
Rebecca was slowly coming around and trusting him more and more over the course of the sessions. What was clear to him almost right from the start was that she wanted, no, she needed someone to trust. A friend. And maybe their brief relationship ten years ago and the timing of it in particular made her more open to trusting him.
She had been quick to tell him about Jeff, but he had been even quicker to learn just what kind of lowlife loser Jeff was. Getting her to see it, however, was something else entirely and he knew he was riding a fine line when confronting her.
“Rebecca,” he said, waiting for her to turn and face him. When she did, her normally smooth skin was slightly pinkish, her usually smiling, pretty brown eyes puffy and red.
“I’m sorry, Sawyer,” she said, straightening her shoulders and sucking in two quick breaths. She walked to her desk and sat down. “That was really unprofessional.”
“I don’t care about being professional, Rebecca. Our friendship is too important for that. I hope you feel the same about me.”
She still had trouble holding his gaze and her mouth moved into a smile that was more sad than anything else. “I do, Sawyer. I guess I gave them a show at least, huh?” she said, gesturing toward the waiting room.
He didn’t respond. Yes, she had given them a show. They were probably sniggering about it now. It was an ugly quality, to take pleasure from another’s pain. And Rebecca didn’t deserve it, neither that humiliation nor the pain itself.
“That was Jeff, I take it?” he asked. She had been with Jeff for just over a year. They lived together and the few times she had confided in Sawyer and told him how Jeff had been out of work, how he was depressed, he had seen there was more to it than that. She was supporting him and Jeff had been ‘out of work’ for more than half a year now.
Rebecca nodded. “I wish you could have met him some other way.”
Sawyer again did not comment on her remark, knowing no matter how he met the bastard who shamelessly lived off a woman and treated her like he had just witnessed, he would have the same opinion of him.
“Why do you let him talk to you like that?” Sawyer asked.
Her face flushed red and he exhaled. He hadn’t meant to embarrass her. He was punishing her for Jeff’s behavior. But he was a firm believer that people only treated you the way you allowed them to treat you.
“What happened? He seemed angry with you,” he continued.
That same smile was back. “I forgot to leave him any money,” she said.
It took all Sawyer had not to get up to shake some sense into her.
“I hadn’t gotten to the ATM after work yesterday. It was raining pretty hard and I was late to make dinner and just wanted to go home, you know?”
“He can get his own money, Rebecca,” he said. It took quite some effort not to say more, but he didn’t want to isolate her. “When was the last time he went out to look for a job?”
Her expression changed while her eyes searched his. Sadness was gone, replaced with something that almost told him she knew he was right. Almost, but not quite. And if that was the emotion, it was quickly replaced by a cool professionalism.
Sawyer kept his eyes on hers and she turned hers to the file on the desk. Too late, she had just shut down. Just weeks before, he would not have said what he had said, but today, after watching Jeff humiliate her and listening to her defend him, he’d had enough.
“Why are you on one crutch?” she asked, the space between them marked.
Sawyer studied her and sat back in his chair. She wasn’t ready to hear it yet. She knew Jeff was no good. How in hell did women like her end up with losers like that anyway? After what she had been through, where she came from, she had gotten her act together. She had put herself through school and had a good job. Now this loser was taking advantage of her and she was allowing it. That was the part that bothered him the most really, the fact that she was allowing it.
“I’m anxious to get off both crutches,” he said. “It’s been too long and I don’t like being slow.”
She smiled and leaned forward, setting her elbows on the desk and her face in her hands. “Recovery takes time, Sawyer. You’re going to set yourself back if you try to push it too hard. Don’t come in here without a second crutch again until I ok it, you hear me?” she asked.
He smiled. There she was, the confident, caring woman he knew and cared for.
He leaned forward and mimicked her, leaning his face on his hands, his elbows on top of the desk. “Oh, yeah? And what are you going to do if I do?” he asked.
He watched her eyes grow wide and almost heard her swallow. She was as affected by him as he was by her. Her face turned just the slightest shade of pink and she lowered her lashes. He smiled. She was so shy. He could think of a hundred ways to make her blush like that, each of which was absolutely off limits at the moment.
* * *
Sawyer Hayes still had exactly the same effect on her now as he had all those years ago. But nothing could happen between them for exactly that reason. She could lose herself with someone like him and she wasn’t willing to give up her control.
He was a man with a presence as big as he was physically. And he was big. At 6′6″ tall, he towered over her by more than a foot, not to mention the sheer bulk of him. And he was a fireman to boot. Rebecca wondered how a man like him was still single.
He had saved her out there. She had been so completely embarrassed by Jeff and how he had talked to her like he had, how he had stormed out of the office. She knew if she told Sawyer what he had done just before leaving, that he had gone through her purse and when he had found her wallet empty of cash, how he had taken her credit card even when she had told him no, Sawyer would be pissed. He would probably try to go after Jeff and get himself hurt. Well, not that Jeff could hurt Sawyer. Sawyer was twice his size and she had a feeling tha
t even with his injured leg, he could take Jeff on easily. But she was also fully aware that he would reprimand her for having allowed Jeff to treat her like he did. And he would be right to.
No! What was she saying? That was exactly why she had run off ten years ago. She was an adult and Sawyer’s sort of reprimand came in the form of a bare bottom spanking! She was an independent, professional woman. Women like her did not get upended over a man’s knee, have their bottoms bared and then spanked. They just didn’t.
She had to be patient with Jeff. He had lost his job some months back. Things would get better once he found a new one. He had gone on a few job interviews and was just having a run of bad luck. Even as she thought that though, another voice, the one of reason and logic, berated her. He hadn’t been on an interview in almost nine weeks. And now, his brother Andy and Andy’s girlfriend, Shannon, were moving into the same apartment building. Something told her that wasn’t going to be good, but it was out of her hands.
She cleared her throat and stood. “Let’s have a look at your leg. Just take it easy and don’t put too much weight on it. It’s too soon and I’d hate to see you cause permanent damage that we are unable to fix.”
* * *
Rebecca was once again the last to leave the office. There were two other physical therapists who worked in this branch, but she often found herself to be the one locking up. She didn’t mind working late. And tonight, she preferred it to going home.
She locked the door and buttoned up her coat as she headed out to her car. She was dreading going home tonight actually. Andy and Shannon would be there and they were going to have to spend four nights at their tiny apartment before theirs would be ready.
She fiddled with the radio in the car while driving, not really listening to anything in particular. When she got to her apartment building twenty minutes later, she already saw Andy’s decrepit truck with its out of state Arizona license plate. Well, maybe Colorado would be too cold for them and they would move back.
She parked as far from the truck as possible and forced herself to walk up the stairs to her third floor apartment.
“There she is,” Andy said as soon as she walked inside.
Rebecca’s skin crawled and she tried to paste a smile on her face and meet his eyes, except that his were concentrated at the center of her chest. She pretended to adjust her purse and folded her arms across her chest.
“How’s my favorite soon to be sister-in-law?” he asked, coming in for a hug she could not escape.
“Sister-in-law?” she barely managed. “Where did that come from?” She held her breath against the stench of stale cigarette smoke and tried to turn her face away from his greasy hair. His hands roamed just a little lower than acceptable and she pushed away, still trying to remain polite.
“Let her go, Andy, you don’t want to get her clothes dirty.” It was Shannon. She just came out of the bathroom and planted herself on the couch, staring at them, the look in her eyes telling Rebecca exactly what she thought of her.
Andy pulled back, making a sound as he now openly scanned her from head to toe and back.
“Where’s Jeff?” Rebecca asked, putting more distance between them.
“He’s getting the pizza,” Shannon said, picking up a magazine and putting her feet up on the coffee table. “It’s fuckin’ cold in here.”
“It’s February in Colorado. Winter,” Rebecca said.
Shannon glanced at her. “Turn the heat up or something, Christ, I’m freezing.”
Rebecca ignored her and took off her coat. She hung it up and walked into the living room. That’s when she saw the big flat screen TV still in its box sitting on the dining room table. “What’s that?” she asked.
Shannon grinned while Andy helped himself to a can of beer.
“Our housewarming gift from Jeff. Isn’t that sweet?”
“What?” she asked.
Just then the door opened and Jeff walked in carrying three large pizzas. “Dinner!”
“Jeff…” Rebecca began. He had no money, which meant he had used her credit card to buy the TV and dinner and who knew what else. “You bought a TV?”
His smile was gone, replaced by what she could only describe as disgust. For some reason, that look cut her still.
“Don’t be such a fucking buzz-kill, Bec. They need a TV.”
“We can’t afford that, Jeff. You’re not working.”
He grabbed hold of her arm and came right up to stand inches from her face, the aggression in his stance frightening. “It’s a gift. From us. You make enough money, don’t be so uptight.”
She shook her head, tears of frustration threatening as her stomach tensed, leaving her unable to speak. She was behind on student loans and the way he spent money, they barely made ends meet as it was.
He snorted and let her go, smiling when he turned to Andy and Shannon. “Let’s eat,” he said.
“I’m going to have a shower and go to bed,” Rebecca said.
“Night,” Shannon called out.
Rebecca barely managed to get into their bedroom and close the door before the tears began. Standing with her back against the door, she rubbed her hands over her face and tried to contain any sound. She locked the door and went into the bathroom to have a shower, wondering all the while what she was doing with someone like Jeff. He didn’t love her, he was using her. No matter how much she tried to deny it, no matter how many excuses she found to make herself believe otherwise, she knew in her heart that he was using her. It wasn’t even that he didn’t love her really. It was scarier than that. It was as though he resented her.
The stream of hot water felt good and she turned her face up to it.
What about what she felt for him? She didn’t love him either, she knew that.
Her mind wandered to Sawyer and how he had looked this afternoon when Jeff had stormed out of the office, humiliating her. How he had given the three gossips at the reception desk a look that put them in their place before taking her back to her office.
Her feelings for Sawyer confused her, scared her a little even. On those few occasions that she allowed herself to fantasize about what it would be like to be with him again, the feeling she’d come away with was that she would feel safe. Protected. Cared for, even. Her affection for him was different than anything she had felt for any other person and since seeing him again three months ago, it seemed as though the ten years between them simply hadn’t happened. If anything, she was more intensely drawn to him now than ever.
She groaned, shaking her head and rubbing her face. She should not want this. This was exactly what had made her run. Sawyer liked to be in control and she couldn’t give that up again. Leaving him the last time had taken everything she had.
Chapter Three
For the next few weeks, Rebecca felt like she was just going through the motions. Andy and Shannon had moved out into their own apartment on the ground floor of the same building. Ever since then, Jeff had been spending more time down there than at their own place. Her feelings about that made Rebecca uncomfortable. She didn’t miss him the nights he slept at Andy’s and whole days seemed to go by when she wouldn’t see him. But he would always turn up when he needed cash.
She was worried about more than that though. Twice she’d had to go down to Andy’s apartment and both times, she had seen people in there she just had a strange feeling about. They were a lot like Andy and Shannon actually and Jeff seemed to be spending his days sitting on the couch in front of that new flat screen more and more. The last time she had gone down there was to give him some clippings from the paper that might have potential for work, and he had snapped at her. He did that more easily now and when he had come up the last time to make it up to her, his eyes had looked strange and she had asked him if he was stoned. He’d gotten so angry with her that she had become frightened of what he might do.
“What are you thinking? You’re worlds away,” Sawyer said. This was his second to last appointment and in a way, she felt sad
about it.
She met his eyes and smiled. The way he looked at her, a mix of protectiveness along with something more feral and base, made her belly quake and other parts of her react in their own way. It was as if he always already knew what she was thinking, knew there was more to say but was waiting for her to say it.
“Nothing,” she began. “I’m sorry, just thinking I guess.”
“Thinking about what? You’ve been very distant the last couple of weeks.”
She hesitated. She hadn’t talked about what was going on with anyone. She didn’t have anyone to talk about it with; no siblings to speak of and she had cut all ties with her mother years ago. Her father had left when she was barely a year old and she didn’t remember him at all. Amelia was gone and she was alone.
Amelia had been diagnosed with breast cancer when Rebecca was seventeen. It was her second bout with the deadly disease and she ended up needing Rebecca to help her at home more and more those last months. That time was so painful and the memory still so fresh. The only blessing was that Sawyer had come home in the end too.
“Rebecca?” he asked.
She smiled. “I’m doing it again, aren’t I?”
He checked his watch. “My session’s about over and I’m thinking to grab a bite to eat next door. Let me buy you dinner,” he said.
She looked at him.
“Come on, don’t make me eat alone.”
She smiled. “Ok, just let me get my things together. Do you mind if I meet you there? Don’t want to give the girls at the desk anything new to gossip about.”
“Sure. I’ll get us a table.”
* * *
Sawyer was sitting at a booth in the back when she walked in. His gaze swept her body from head to toe and he didn’t miss the others who turned in her direction. He stood and caught her eye. She smiled. She was wearing an A-line dark pink skirt with high-heeled boots and a close-fitting black sweater. She had let her hair out of its bun and it hung in a thick golden brown mass down just past her shoulders.
The Firefighter's Girl Page 2
