“Hey,” she said. “I had a quick call after you left so it took a little longer.”
“It’s fine, sit down. Where’s your coat?” he asked.
She slid into the booth and looked down at herself as if just realizing she didn’t have it on. “I must have forgotten it in my office,” she said. “It’s ok, I’ll pick it up after dinner.”
The waitress came and she ordered a Coke then opened her menu. He opened his and studied her while she decided. She had put on makeup before dinner. That was a good sign. He noticed how her lips shone with a fresh layer of gloss as well as the dark eyeliner that now accentuated her pretty eyes that always reminded him of a desert, pale and pretty, a sparkling gold that conveyed her innocence, and, when she didn’t shield it, her insecurity. There was always a gentle expression in their depths, a thing that made Sawyer want to protect her innocence against a world too hard and too cold for her.
He cleared his throat when she looked up to catch him staring at her, the delicate skin of her neck and face flushing red at his scrutiny. She then turned her gaze back to the menu.
“You two ready to order?” the waitress asked, setting her Coke in front of her.
He looked at her and she nodded. “I’ll have the pasta with pesto, please.”
Sawyer ordered a burger and the waitress took their menus and left them alone. They stared at each other for a few moments and Sawyer wondered if the hue of pink on her face was going to be permanent tonight.
“So,” he began, the memory of what had happened just a few weeks ago still bothering him. “How’s Jeff doing with work? Any luck the last few weeks?”
Tonight he was going to push her. He was tired of taking it slow and with his appointments almost at an end, time was running out.
She couldn’t quite look at him and the line of her mouth showed her anxiety. She shook her head. “No, nothing.”
He searched her eyes, forcing her to hold his gaze. “Nothing? Market’s pretty decent, what does he do again?”
“Well, at the moment, he sits at his brother’s apartment and watches TV on the new flat screen that apparently I bought them for a housewarming present! What they’re doing down there, I don’t even want to think about.”
She said it fast, as if she was pissed off, but right after she said it, she turned away, searching for something in her purse, retrieving a tissue. Sawyer took in a deep breath. He’d had enough, someone needed to talk some sense into her. But first, another question.
“His brother? I thought he lived in Arizona. And what do you mean with what they’re doing down there?” he asked. His suspicions were usually right on.
“Ugh! I’m sorry, Sawyer. This is not your problem.” She reached out to adjust the position of the fork in front of her.
He took the opportunity to put his hand over hers. “Rebecca,” he said.
She looked up at him, her eyes wide, almost desperate, like a neglected child’s eyes. He saw the difference in age between them then. It was ten years, but at this moment, it seemed infinite. He knew her well enough by now to know that what she needed was someone to help her make the decision to leave Jeff rather than leaving it up to her.
“I’m your friend,” he began. “More than that. We have a history and I can’t stand back and watch while you let this jerk destroy your life. I’ve been noticing things the last few weeks. You’ve changed, something’s going on. I can see it.”
“I’m sorry, I hope it hasn’t affected my work with you! I never meant for that to happen.”
He shook his head and squeezed her hand. “No, not at all. I don’t think I’d be as far along as I am with the recovery if it weren’t for you.”
She exhaled, relaxing a little. Her fragility struck him. She was an excellent therapist, thorough, passionate about her work and just a warm, caring person. Yet here she was, completely insecure, automatically assuming guilt that didn’t belong to her.
“Tell me about his brother.”
The waitress came and he let her hand go. She set their plates in front of them. They waited until she left before speaking again. Rebecca picked up her knife and fork, hesitating.
“Tell me,” he pushed.
“Andy and Shannon moved into our apartment building a few weeks ago,” she said. “Jeff took my credit card that day he was in the office, when you… saved me.” She pushed some food around her plate. “He bought that TV for them and some other stuff.”
“Do you need money?” he asked.
She looked at him, her expression embarrassed, and shook her head. “No, I can… That’s ok. I will cover it. It’s something else. It’s… He’s been spending more and more time down there and no one is working so I’m not sure how they plan on paying the rent, and the other night…” She shook her head again. “It’s nothing. I’m making something out of nothing.”
“The other night what?” he pushed.
She exhaled and met his gaze. “I went down there to give Jeff some newspaper clippings for jobs and there were some people in there who just… they looked like… ok, that part doesn’t matter. Jeff looked stoned. His face, his eyes… the way he yelled at me scared me.” She crumpled the tissue in her hands. “I’m worried he’s back on drugs and I’m worried they might be dealing from there.”
“Back on drugs?” She had left any past drug use out of all of their conversations. “Rebecca, I’m going to need you to be real straight with me here. Drugs are serious.”
She hesitated, but he wouldn’t let her off the hook. He had figured out a long time ago that she was, by nature, submissive. At least when it came to him. She would give in to him, he knew she would if he kept pushing, but he had to be careful. Push too hard and she would shut down. It was a fine line to balance.
“His brother is a bad influence on him. He and his girlfriend both. Andy’s just… gross and Shannon is a bitch. They all think of course that I’m a snob and…” She stopped and looked at him. “Maybe that’s all this is. Maybe I’m just feeling… left out.”
“Left out is where you want to be if there are drugs involved,” he said. “Eat. Your food’s getting cold.”
She looked down at her plate as if just realizing it was food, and took a bite. Sawyer watched her as he chewed a mouthful of hamburger, tasting nothing, trying to figure out the best way to deal with this.
“What sort of drugs are we talking?” he asked.
“I’m thinking harder stuff. Jeff moved out here to get away from all that, but ever since he lost his job, he’s just been sucked back in and now with Andy back in town, I’m worried, Sawyer.”
“Worried about him?” Sawyer asked, not believing what he was still hearing from her. What was it going to take for her to see that Jeff did not deserve anything from her, least of all her worry?
“I guess.” She looked up at the ceiling for a moment and he could see her eyes glisten with unshed tears. “Thing is, I don’t even think I love him anymore. It’s different between us than it was in the beginning, but he needs me now.”
“To buy his brother TVs and such, you mean? He needs you for that?” This was unbelievable. His patience was fading fast.
Her expression hardened.
“It’s not like that. He doesn’t mean to use me. It’s his brother…”
Sawyer couldn’t help his next words. “I don’t think so, Rebecca. I think it’s been like this for some time now, since I started my therapy sessions at least.”
She put her fork down and rubbed her forehead. “Sawyer, I appreciate your concern, but you don’t know what’s going on.”
“I think I have a pretty clear idea, actually. I know guys like Jeff. They’re a dime a dozen and they will use you for as long as you allow them to. You’re not a fool, you know he’s taking advantage of you. I can see that, anyone can, including you.”
“It’s not your place…”
“Whose place is it then?” he asked, his voice just a hair harder. “You don’t have any family, I don’t know much about your
social life but you never mention friends and quite frankly, I can see that you’re lonely, Rebecca.”
Her eyes reddened and she wiped the tissue across her nose. “I have to go,” she said, pulling out her wallet and searching through it.
“Put your money away, sit down and eat your dinner.”
She was visibly shaking now and he could see her struggle to contain her emotions. She ignored him and set a twenty-dollar bill on the table before scooting out of the booth. “I have to go.”
“Sit down, Rebecca,” he said, raising his voice a little, unable not to. Some of the patrons at other tables turned to look at them while she scrambled out of her seat. She kept her head down but he saw her face crumple before she turned and practically ran out of the restaurant.
Sawyer’s eyes narrowed. He pulled money to cover the bill out of his wallet and tossed it onto the table before picking up her twenty and heading out after her.
* * *
A light snow had begun to fall and Rebecca hugged her arms around herself when she got outside. She searched for her keys as she made her way to the office to get her coat. It was after hours and aside from the restaurant she had just come from, the strip mall was deserted.
Her hands were shaking from both the cold and the emotion she was trying to keep control of and just as she got the tip of the key lined up with the lock, it slipped from her hand.
“Crap!” She reached down to pick them up, only Sawyer beat her to it. She looked at him, confused at how he’d gotten there so fast given his injury, but she didn’t have much time to think about it. His expression was fixed, not angry, but rather stern, as he picked up the keys and slid them into the lock before pushing the door open for her.
When she stood unmoving staring at him, he gestured with a nod toward the door. “Inside. Now.”
She almost opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again. There was something in his eyes she was unable not to obey. She knew that no matter what, Sawyer Hayes would not let her down. He’d not let her fall. She dropped her gaze and did as he said, walking into the now deserted office. He followed, then closed and locked the door behind him.
“What are you doing?” she asked. She wasn’t afraid of him, it wasn’t that. It was in that moment, in fact, that she realized how fully she trusted him.
“You walked out before I was finished saying what I needed to say,” he said, taking her by the arm and leading her toward her own office.
Although she resisted, he was too strong not to follow. “Sawyer, this isn’t any of your concern.”
“Your life is apparently none of your concern either, Rebecca. Do you have any idea how much trouble you could get into if what you suspect is true? If they are dealing drugs out of that apartment?” he asked, opening her office door and switching on the light.
“Let me go,” she said, struggling to get away now, the memory of her spanking that night ten years ago suddenly as fresh in her mind as if it had happened just yesterday.
“I’ll let you go when I’ve talked some sense into you,” he said, moving a chair to the center of the room. “Sit down.”
She looked at the chair then back up at him, unable to speak.
“I said sit down, Rebecca,” he repeated. “Now.”
She searched his eyes but sank into the chair, watching as he went to the window and closed the blinds. She felt like a chastised child.
“I think you’re in need of a friend, a true friend. That is what I am, Rebecca. And friends care about each other and tell each other when they are screwing up and right now, you are screwing up big time.”
“What do you want me to do? He needs me!”
“No, he does not need you. He will, however, use you as long as you allow him to.”
It was a lecture. He was reprimanding her. The last time she had been reprimanded was ten years ago in a situation very similar to this and she remembered exactly what came next with him.
He paused as if allowing her to absorb his words, his meaning. She couldn’t help but notice how the way he said it made her body feel physically. It was strange, that. It wasn’t arousal, or at least not wholly that, but it was something close to it. For reasons she could not understand, she responded to his power over her. With him, she accepted it.
“Sawyer…” she began.
He hesitated for a moment, opening and closing his mouth again and looking off briefly, obviously carefully choosing his words.
She remained as she was, waiting.
“That night ten years ago, when I spanked you, I did it in anger and I am sorry for that and even more sorry for leaving like I did. I spent that night driving around and by the time I came back to talk to you, you were gone.”
“I…”
He held up his hand, signaling he was not yet finished. “I’m not apologizing for having spanked you. What you did required punishment, but I also meant to teach you not to do it again. I think I ended up scaring you instead and maybe making you feel more alone than anything else and for that, I’m more sorry than you can imagine.
“I care about you, Rebecca, and when you turned the corner just three months ago and called out my name in the waiting room, it all came back. I’ve never stopped caring about you and right now, you need someone who cares enough about you to tell you the truth.”
Why she resisted him, she wasn’t sure. It wasn’t loyalty to Jeff, certainly not. Maybe it was her own embarrassment over what had happened back then? Her own embarrassment over her present chastisement? Whatever it was, it built like a rock inside her and she stood.
“You can’t tell me what to do. You don’t know everything,” she said, turning to leave.
But he grabbed her arm and made her face him. “I know enough.”
“Let me go!” she said, struggling against him to free herself.
He shook his head. “I can’t, Rebecca. I can’t let you go again.”
“You’re hurting me!”
“I’m sorry to do this and I hope you won’t hate me for it, but this is too important and I need to get through to you.”
“Let me go!” she yelled again, her eyes wide as he pulled her face down across his lap, her belly on his powerful thighs, her one hand still in his now held at her low back while the other reached to the carpet for support. She kicked her legs, trying to get free, sliding just off his thighs before he hauled her back. “What are you doing?” she asked, even though she knew. You can’t!” she called out, knowing full well what was coming as he trapped both of her legs between his.
“Believe it or not, I care about you, Rebecca, and I’m afraid for you. As to what I’m doing? I’m getting ready to spank you and I’m spanking you until I have your attention.”
“You can’t do this again!” Her saying the words and him delivering the first smack happened in the same moment and Rebecca stilled instantly. A second smack landed over the top of her wool skirt. She gasped, still processing her situation, her position. It took three more like this for her to resume her fight. She tried to kick, but her legs were trapped and she couldn’t do more than lift her feet to the height of her knees at most and when she reached back with her one free hand to intercept his, he only grabbed that one as well and tucked it, along with her other wrist, into his one big hand at her low back. He paused to adjust her position so she found herself now hanging off his thighs, her feet touching down but her torso balancing there over his lap.
“Jeff is a no-good loser,” Sawyer said, spanking several times on each cheek.
She was at least grateful for the layer between his massive hand and her very vulnerable backside.
“And he’s going to keep taking from you until you have nothing left to give,” he said, accentuating his words with smacks while she struggled to free herself. “And if in the meantime he gets busted for dealing drugs, he’ll take you down with him!”
“You’re hurting me!” she called out as he took some time to spank her without the verbal chastisement to accompany the physical punishm
ent. She wasn’t sure what was worse, the actual pain, the embarrassment, or the lecture. One thing that she didn’t understand was why she felt badly for having disappointed him.
“Am I getting through to you?” he asked.
“You can’t do this! It’s… you just can’t!”
“That’s a no, I’m guessing,” he said, pausing.
The next thing she felt was cool air along the backs of her naked thighs when he lifted her skirt up over her bottom.
“What are you doing?” she asked in horror. “No… oh, God, please don’t!”
“I’m thinking I’m not making enough of an impression,” he said, tucking the hem of her skirt into the waistband. “I’m thinking a bare bottom spanking will make my point more effectively.”
She sucked in a breath when she felt his hand come to rest against her bottom, remembering the over-the-knee socks she had put on under her boots earlier that day, imagining the sight she made for him.
“Already better,” he said. “Am I getting your attention now?”
“Yes! No! You can’t!”
“I think we’ve established that I can,” he said, his fingertips just touching the waistband of her lacy pink panties. “If you remember, bare is best.”
“Sawyer,” she just managed, her entire body frozen while he slowly pulled her panties down her thighs to bare her bottom.
After a moment in which she stared wide-eyed at the carpet and he most likely stared wide-eyed at what he had just exposed, he resumed her spanking, this time without the lecture. He smacked hard and fast, alternating cheeks, the pain quickly becoming an all-consuming fire on her backside and upper thighs. She called out and grunted, struggling all along while his big hand rained down her punishment, each stinging blow calling tears from her eyes. Her focus at first was the pain, the sheer pain of a hard bare bottom spanking. Each smack stung more than she could remember a hand spanking could sting, and as he continued, not giving her a moment to recover between smacks, that sting developed into a hot, throbbing pain. The sound of flesh striking flesh filled the room and around that sound was her own sniffling, her crying, her groans and eventually, her begging for him to stop, that she’d had enough.
The Firefighter's Girl Page 3
