What jumped out at him most, though, were the happy faces of the people he loved. Berry hadn’t sparkled like this since her mother died, while Kimmie brimmed with high spirits. Jan seemed bathed in a glow as she moved from the kitchen to the dining room, where they’d added several card tables and covered the whole stretch with a couple of cloths.
As the guests trickled in, images became fixed in Zack’s mind, so that later he was never sure whether he was remembering the reality or the photograph. Maria Garcia, gathering both little girls into an embrace. Jan’s dark-haired brother, Bernardo, and his red-haired wife, Ginger, arms draped around middle-school daughters who’d been toddlers when Zack last saw them. Rima’s brother, Edgar Williams, and his charming new girlfriend, a hairstylist, setting a mouthwatering sweet-potato casserole on the table. Edgar, a plumber, explained he’d met Alicia while replacing the pipes in her house.
Zack’s parents arrived promptly at four o’clock, their expressions faintly disapproving when they discovered others had preceded them. Zack hoped they hadn’t parked and waited, adhering to the old rule about not coming early to a dinner party.
The Sargents brought pies, along with toy penguins in Pilgrim clothing for the girls. Equal gifts, he was pleased to note. He’d mentioned in an email how much Berry loved the new doll. They’d apparently taken the hint.
For the meal, Zack set the camera aside. His parents seemed confused at first by the Garcia tradition of holding hands around the table, but they joined willingly in the prayer of thanks. Afterward, no one needed encouragement to pass the food.
When Zack’s dad received Maria’s plate of tamales, he regarded it with faint distaste. He was about to give it untouched to Bernardo when the younger man said, “I tell my history students Thanksgiving was a truly multicultural holiday, right from the start.”
“You’re a teacher?” No doubt unwilling to put himself in a bad light with a fellow educator, Norbert took a tamale.
“My wife, too.” In his mid-thirties, Bernardo had a slightly receding hairline that added to his distinguished appearance. “I understand you’re a retired principal.”
“Before that I taught history, too.” The men began discussing recent changes in the state’s curriculum. Later, Zack noticed, his father not only finished the tamale but took a second.
As for the girls, Kimmie’s cousins volunteered that they had two dogs and a cat, so Berry and Kimmie chattered about fund-raising for the shelter. After dinner, the four girls trooped upstairs to play with the cats, a scene Zack felt privileged to witness. Ordinarily, he wouldn’t have intruded, but with camera in hand he became part of the fun.
Still, the center of the day was Jan. Photographing her chatting with Alicia, helping one of her nieces retie a hair ribbon or sharing a warm conversation with her mother, he noticed how naturally she brought people together. He even caught his mother giving her a rare hug. Although Norbert kept his distance at first, he unwound enough later to put on an apron and wash pots with Jan.
“Bert’s unhappy she kept Kimmie away from you and us,” Zack’s mom confided to him. “On the other hand, he’s glad she didn’t give her up for adoption.”
“What’s with the apron thing?” Zack asked. “I never saw Dad do dishes before.”
“He’s mellowed in retirement,” his mother responded.
“I’m sure you had something to do with that.” To the rest of the world Elspeth Sargent might appear meek, but her son recognized the steel in her spine.
“I informed him that since he’s retired and I’m not, it’s only fair for him to work around the house,” his mother said. “I let him choose which chores he minds least.”
“Washing pots and pans?”
“He’s good with a vacuum, too.” She smiled, looking younger than she had in years.
Not only were old acquaintances renewed, but Zack saw new connections forming. After dinner, while many of the guests gathered in the den to watch a football game, Jan and Edgar stood talking quietly in the living room in front of a framed photo of Rima. They didn’t seem to notice Zack standing in the doorway, capturing the two of them with his late wife in the background. As he studied them through the lens, it felt as if they were all three present.
“Heart trouble runs in our family,” he heard Edgar say. “I’m all about exercise and healthy eating. Might have some of that pie, though.”
“I guess that’s why Zack is so strict about Berry’s diet,” Jan replied.
“Couldn’t ask for a better dad for my niece.” At six foot two, Edgar towered over Jan, but his soft-spoken manner obviously put her at ease. “Wish I’d been around more for my big sis. Being in the Marines, I was gone a lot.”
“I wish I’d known her.” Catching sight of Zack, Jan addressed her next remark to him. “You must have taken a hundred pictures today.”
“Fortunately, I have a big SIM card,” he replied cheerfully. “It can hold a lot more than that.”
“Post those on Facebook?” Edgar asked.
“You bet.”
Zack moved to Jan’s side. Until now, he’d avoided any indication they were a couple, aware that their families must be curious. Yet he missed touching her, being close, catching the scent of her hair. Keeping his distance was becoming harder by the minute.
“Guess I’d better see who’s winning that game,” Edgar said without further discussion, and ambled toward the den.
“I didn’t mean to drive him away.” Zack switched off the camera. Was his desire to be alone with Jan that obvious?
She moved closer. “Thank you for today.” Her face tilted up toward his.
“Why are you thanking me?” Too bad there wasn’t a Thanksgiving equivalent of mistletoe to give him an excuse to kiss her. As if anyone would believe it.
“I can be kind of a bulldozer when I seize on an idea.” She stroked his arm lightly. “You’re a good sport about hosting all these people.”
“You think this is a hardship?” Zack tapped her nose with his finger. “It’s the best Thanksgiving in years.”
Standing so close, he noticed how her pearl earrings nestled into her lobes, inviting him to nibble. Loose curls added a wild, bedroom quality to her usually tame hair. As for her mouth, the full lips parted invitingly when he gazed at them.
Outside, a car spun down the street too fast, braking with a screech at the corner. Jolted to awareness, Jan took a step back and broke eye contact.
Zack didn’t want her to go yet. He ached for more of this tantalizing closeness. More temptation. And perhaps just a little yielding.
Jan indicated Rima’s picture. “You must miss her, especially during the holidays.”
The reference to his late wife brought Zack down to earth, as no doubt Jan intended. It also reminded him of something he’d been meaning to explain. His engagement to Rima had destroyed any chance of reconciling with Jan, and she deserved to understand what had happened.
While he would never be disloyal to Rima’s memory, it troubled him to see the old hurt, a reminder of the abandonment Jan must have felt. He’d become engaged before he learned she’d been falsely accused, but even when he did, he’d gone ahead with the marriage and left her to have the baby without him. “She meant a lot to me,” he began.
“We should get back to our guests.”
“Not yet.” He caught her hand and let the words pour out. “Rima was a heart patient at the hospital when I met her. She’d lost her job as a salesclerk because she couldn’t
stand on her feet all day, and her insurance was running out. On top of that, she had trouble keeping up with an active toddler. Social Services was threatening to put Berry in a foster home.”
Jan caught her breath. “How horrible. Weren’t there any other relatives?”
“Rima’s parents were dead and Berry’s father had died in a motorcycle accident a year earlier.” Not wanting to make Rima sound like a charity case, Zack hurried on. “I was miserable and depressed. I still loved you but I felt betrayed. On top of that, I had bad dreams about giving up our daughter. I’m not making excuses for the way I behaved toward you. It’s just that Rima and Berry filled a big hole in my heart.”
Although a deep breath shivered through Jan, she didn’t pull away. “And you fell in love with her.”
“She became an important part of my life very fast.” Zack didn’t know how else to respond. Yes, he’d come to love Rima, but not with the same intensity, the same sense of belonging he’d experienced with Jan. Only he could never say that, because if he did, he risked Berry finding out. “Jan, when I asked her to marry me, she lit up with excitement. It was as if I’d handed her the whole world. A future for herself and her daughter.”
“And you couldn’t have backed out even if you’d wanted to,” she finished for him.
He cupped her face with his hand. Oh, how badly he wanted to kiss her—for understanding, and for simply being here. “I felt you should know.”
“It helps.” In her eyes he saw a ragged flash of regret. “It always bothered me you got over me so fast. Like it hadn’t been real.”
“It was.” He couldn’t go beyond that, not yet. But he was beginning to wonder if this rift might be mendable, after all.
The thump and clatter of the girls swarming down the staircase drew their attention to the hall. He stepped back quickly.
“Can we have dessert now, Aunt Jan?” asked her thirteen-year-old niece, coming into view.
“Sure,” Jan replied. “Let’s start slicing the pies.”
Berry lingered as the others trooped off. “Daddy?”
As a rule, Zack banned sweets. Today was different. “Honey, it’s a holiday. Of course you can have pie.”
She gave a little hop of joy. “Thanks!” Then she paused in deep concentration. “Which one should I have?”
There was a selection of apple, pumpkin and cherry. “Which do you like best?”
“I don’t know.”
As Berry clasped her hands, Zack noticed the similarities to Rima’s photo: the oval face, dark winged eyebrows, brown hair frizzing in ringlets. The intelligence and the vulnerability. “How about a thin slice of each?”
“Really?” She stared at him in amazement. “I can do that?”
“You bet.”
When she flung her arms around him, it was like their first meeting all over again. An urgent desire to protect her swept over Zack.
“Yay!” With that happy cry, she scampered off. It was the most heartfelt statement of thanksgiving he’d heard all day.
* * *
HE NEVER STOPPED LOVING ME. Zack hadn’t dismissed Jan from his heart and replaced her with someone who truly belonged there. Instead, he’d met a lovely woman with a sweet little girl and taken them under his wing. By the time he learned the truth about the accusations, he’d been too involved to leave them. How could he have done otherwise?
As Jan watched Zack slide thin slices of pie onto Berry’s plate and then do the same for Kimmie, her heart swelled with a yearning so poignant it hurt. Did he have to be so endearing, grinning sideways at her? Did his laughter have to rumble through her body, setting off a cascade of fireworks? Did he have to sound so earnest and caring, in response to a question about his work at the hospital, when he described his dream of setting up a grant program for patients?
When he mentioned the Hope Challenge, Kimmie listened intently. Through a bite of pie, she spluttered, “You could win a humble mumble dollars?”
“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” her older cousin responded.
Kimmie puffed out her cheeks defiantly. Jan was glad to see the protest went no further.
“You could do a lot of good with that much money,” Zack’s father remarked. “My only regret in working at a private school was that we had a limited number of scholarships.”
“How wonderful to help families who can’t afford treatment,” Alicia said.
Kimmie swallowed her pie and plunged in again. “What about the animal shelter?”
“I’ll bet there are a lot of charities that could use that kind of money,” Jan’s sister-in-law, Ginger, pointed out.
“True. We have some heated competition.” Zack explained the rivalry with the counseling center, adding, “The latest word is that its volunteer director may be leaving. I’d hate to see the program fold. On the other hand...”
“All volunteer projects reach a point where they either have to become professional or they fall apart,” Bernardo observed.
“Too bad if they got all that money and it went down the drain,” Edgar agreed.
“Glad I have your support. Now if you guys will run out and get pregnant for me, I’ll be a shoo-in.” Chuckling, Zack began collecting dishes. “Who’ll help wash up?”
“Me!”
“Me!” Kimmie and Berry were on their feet, with the older girls following suit. Soon they’d whisked away the plates and the kitchen echoed with the sounds of running water, clinking china and high-pitched voices.
Afterward, some of the guests resumed watching football and others moved the card tables into the living room to play dominoes and Monopoly. Jan reveled in the high spirits and sense of harmony.
The girls gravitated to Zack, playing a board game that involved launching figures through the air and laughing uproariously. He clowned around while ensuring each girl got her turn.
He was such a good man. If they tried again, could it work this time?
Jan was almost afraid to hope—but she couldn’t help it.
Chapter Sixteen
By nine o’clock the last of the guests had departed. Kimmie and Berry, who’d packed their overnight bags in advance, gave the cats a cuddle and trotted off happily with Maria.
Jan was delighted at how well the families had blended. Zack’s father had spent over an hour discussing educational issues with Bernardo and Ginger, while Alicia and Edgar had played a rousing bridge game with Maria and Zack’s mother. Jan had never seen Elspeth Sargent so animated.
Throughout the evening she sensed Zack’s attention skimming over her, no matter what else he was doing. Their eyes would meet, and then he’d go back to refilling glasses, joking with the girls or watching a recap of the day’s football highlights.
Her skin prickled with excitement. They were going to be alone tonight. She knew what that might mean, and judging by the quick intake of his breath whenever they came close, so did he.
Ever since she’d seen Zack standing in front of the third-grade classroom a couple of months ago, Jan had longed to touch him all over. She couldn’t stop now, even though her instincts warned she’d be running a risk. If this relationship blew up in their faces, their delicate balance over Kimmie’s upbringing might shatter.
No matter how much caution I’ve learned, I’m still impulsive. And this particular impulse refused to be ignored.
They circulated in the empty house, collecting a forgotten glass here, a dropped crumb there. Repositioning chairs, realigning a tabl
e runner. When Zack reached for a misplaced candy dish and his wrist brushed Jan’s arm, the fleeting contact felt so intense she flushed.
“Jan,” Zack murmured, facing her in the den. He smelled of soap, wood and a hint of pumpkin.
Jan drank in the familiar sight of dark blond hair falling across his forehead, and skin golden despite the lateness of the season. She lifted her arms to drape around his shoulders. “Yes?”
His palms slid around her waist and their lips met. Lightly. Softly. Jan stood on tiptoe, relearning the curve of his jaw and the pulse of his throat.
To her astonishment, she discovered he was trembling. “Zack?”
“Let’s go upstairs.”
He didn’t have to suggest it twice.
Until now, Jan had glanced into the master bedroom but hadn’t entered. She stepped inside shyly, taking in the bureau and entertainment center of golden oak, the brass bedstead and the royal-blue quilt. The furnishings melded masculinity with a sense of openness, much like the man Zack had become. But of course his wife must have chosen these.
When she hesitated, his hand came to rest on her back. “I bought these after I moved here,” he said.
“It doesn’t matter.” But it did.
Then Zack drew her deeper into the room and Jan forgot everything else. When he cupped her face to kiss her, she lost herself in his tenderness. It seemed as if they’d both come home after a long journey.
Unworking the buttons on her pink cardigan, he murmured, “You wore this just to frustrate me, didn’t you?”
“Shouldn’t be much of a challenge for a surgeon,” Jan teased back. “Those deft fingers...”
“Oh, you like those, do you?” He opened it to reveal her pink lace-edged bra. “You always had exquisite taste in lingerie.”
“You remember?”
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