Foodchain

by Jeff Jacobson

  “What? Don’t know if I heard you rightly. No disrespect intended, but you think you can have a little fun with the boys at my boy’s expense, is that it?”

  Fairfax looked at Bronson, eyes wide and pleading, but Bronson just grinned and looked at the table.

  In the sudden silence, they heard one of the hooker’s voices, low and scratchy from too many cigarettes, “—little fucker. Not my fault he came in his pants. I tried to be nice. I did.”

  “Keep it down.” The pimp’s voice.

  “Fuck you, pussy. You’re supposed to be here to keep an eye on things. Make sure shit like this don’t happen. Little fucker didn’t have to hit me.” The scratching click of a lighter, then a long exhale. “Rich little fucker.”

  Suddenly Sturm wasn’t standing at the screen door anymore. The men heard his voice, clear as daylight. “Miss. I’m gonna ask you once. Put that cigarette out. No one smokes in this house. I mean it.”

  “I don’t know who the fuck you think you are you little freak, but I will not be treated like—” Her voice broke off suddenly in a faint crunch. And just as suddenly, it was back, twice as loud, “BATHTARD! You—”

  Then a thud. A scream. Slamming doors. Sturm’s voice, calm, even. “Get this stupid cunt out of my house.”

  A hooker came sliding into the kitchen on her face. Her mouth left ragged streaks of blood and fresh purple lipstick on the floor. Sturm followed, knotted her long, plastic, blond hair in his fist, and yanked her to her knees.

  The pimp said, “Back the fuck off, dude. I will fuckin’ kill you.”

  Sturm slammed the hooker’s face into one of the cabinets. “Do it then.”

  The pimp didn’t look happy about it. He licked the sides of his mustache and mumbled, “Shit man. Now why did you do that for?”

  Sturm did it again. The woman moaned, blood bubbling from her nose. “You got shit in your ears, faggot?”

  The pimp took off his sunglasses, made a show of putting them in his pocket.

  Sturm slammed her head into the cabinet a third time, this time cracking the wood.

  The pimp popped his right foot at Sturm’s chest in the blink of an eye, but Sturm was faster. He swung the hooker in front of him and so the pimp kicked her in the side of her head. The pimp resettled himself, and was just about to launch a series of kicks and punches that must have looked impressive in the gym, but Sturm broke the pimp’s nose with his free hand. The pimp’s head snapped back and blood actually hit the ceiling.

  “Like I said, get this stupid cunt out of my house.”

  The two other hookers, who had been hiding in the hall, finally came into the kitchen, helped the pimp to his feet and dragged the unconscious woman out the front door.

  “You set foot in this town again and I guarantee you I will put a bullet in you,” Sturm said from the front steps. The two hookers dumped their business associates in the back seat and were smart enough not to say anything, just slammed the doors. The minivan took off with a jerk and a cloud of dust and gravel. They didn’t even turn on the headlights until they were safely down the long driveway.

  * * * * *

  Sturm pulled Frank aside. “Listen, do me a favor, would you? Would you go out and find my son, make sure he’s okay? Maybe even talk to him. I’d ask one of the boys, but I think Theo’s been through enough tonight. They’re liable to give him a hard time, and you, well, I think you got enough sense to realize…well, hell he’s at that age, you know. Don’t want to listen to anybody, really, much less his father.”

  “Sure.” Frank went down the stairs and stood at the far edge of the garden for a few moments, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. A few minutes ago, his head had been swimming merrily along thanks to the fifth of rum. But now, standing out in the dark under enough stars to make a man go mad, he suddenly felt uncomfortably sober. His sweat felt cold and he shivered. The crickets were quiet. Even the mosquitoes had holed up for the night.

  Truth was, he was scared. He didn’t think he’d been this nervous since he’d had to talk to the cops outside the gas station. Theo was one goddamn cruel bastard. At least, with the clowns, you could see it coming if they lost their temper. With Sturm’s son, you never knew what the hell he was thinking. Frank wouldn’t put it past him to fling a pitchfork or something just because he didn’t want to be bothered.

  So Frank took his time and moved as quietly as he could. The barn loomed in front of him, dark as a tomb. He stepped inside the open door, skin on his neck crawling as he realized he must be silhouetted against the lights of the house. Once inside, he could hear nothing but Sarah contentedly chewing on hay.

  He crept along the aisle, eyes straining in the palpable blackness. The fear grew. He couldn’t help but wonder if Theo was watching him, stalking him. A tiny spot on his back, right between his shoulder blades grew hot and tight, as if there was a laser sight pointed right at him. He whipped around, but the aisle was empty.

  The horse stopped chewing and watched him warily for a moment.

  In the sudden silence, Frank could hear something else. From out back. Out behind barn. Where they had left the lion. A hushed grunt. Then, hissed between clenched teeth, “See? See? I told you, you bitch. I told you.”

  Frank swallowed. Sarah put her head down and tore off another mouthful of alfalfa. Frank moved to the far end of the barn, gently easing his boots through the dust. The hoarse grunts continued. “You. You. You.”

  Frank peered through a crack in the sliding door. Out in the grass, under the stars, Theo had his jeans down around his knees and was hunched over the back of the dead lion, fucking it. His white ass pummeled lion, making the big cat’s corpse shudder with each thrust. “You. You. You.” Theo said every time he slammed into the lion.

  Frank had seen enough. He’d seen more than enough. He doubted that all the rum in Jamaica would erase the image. He tried not to run back to house, acutely aware that if Theo knew he’d been seen, he’d probably kill whoever was watching him. When Frank got back to the garden, he forced himself to stop for a moment, collect himself, slow his heart, watch his breathing. He went back up on the deck, got himself a beer, and told Sturm he couldn’t find Theo.

  DAY SEVENTEEN

  Frank dosed half a pound of ground lamb with Acepromazine and fed it to two more cats and the tiger early in the morning. They loaded the first of the lionesses and hauled her back to the ranch.

  This time, it was Fairfax’s turn. He’d managed to squeeze back into his new clothes. By now, everyone knew his boots hurt like hell. Pine stationed himself by the horse trailer, while Chuck was a good twenty yards away at the pickup, and they had some fun calling him back and forth, asking Fairfax to watch the lioness for a moment, then calling him back over to the pickup to ask him what kind of caliber he thought was the best. Fairfax never did figure it out. He just thought they were being nice to him because it was his turn, and so he just kept hobbling around.

  Like before, Frank and Pine opened the gate and swung it back around while everyone else waited with their rifles back by the pickups. No one was ready. Everybody expected the lioness to simply sit there, like with Theo. But with a streak of tan fur, the lioness erupted from the trailer and was simply gone, as if the cat was bending the light somehow, slipping through the morning sunlight in a hazy mirage.

  It leaped over the barbed wire fence and was halfway to the house before Fairfax had even gotten his eye through a scope. As soon as he caught a glimpse of the animal, he fired, jerking repeatedly on the trigger of the semi-auto like he was scratching a nasty itch. But it was like trying to shoot a bumblebee out of your yard with a slingshot.

  Bullets exploded into the back of Sturm’s house, spiraling through wood siding, concrete, glass. Sturm shouted into the gunfire, but Fairfax either wouldn’t stop or couldn’t hear. Finally, Chuck and Sturm jerked up their rifles and fired. The lioness went down in the garden. The gunfire died.

  “I got it! I got it!” Fairfax screamed.

  “You didn�
��t shoot shit, dickhead,” Pine said. “Fuck, it’d be halfway to Idaho by now if it was up to you.”

  “What the hell is the matter with you?” Sturm ripped the rifle out of Fairfax’s pudgy hands. “You. Stupid. Goddamn. Asshole. You’re paying for all that damage, so help me God.”

  Fairfax stood stock still, mouth open, realization sinking in like concrete in his veins. He licked his lips a few times, but nothing came out.

  Sturm glared at him. “You fucking stupid, or do you just not give a shit?”

  “I…I…oh good Lord.”

  The men tried to hold it in, but snorts of laughter escaped anyway, sounding like they were trying to suck snot from somewhere up near their brain. Sturm growled through his teeth, whirled, and flung the rifle as far as he could into the field. Frank figured Fairfax was lucky Sturm didn’t just shoot him. Without another word, Sturm climbed into the Jeep. Theo started it up and everyone followed it back to the house.

  * * * * *

  They found Sturm on his knees in the dog pen, a little enclosure wrapped in chicken wire, set off in the back of the yard. Frank hadn’t realized that Sturm even had a dog until he saw Sturm cradling the black lab’s head. Frank immediately saw how a bullet had torn through the dog’s guts lengthwise. Bluish gray intestines had spilled out in a wash of blood on the concrete. The dog was still alive, breathing in low, keening sounds.

  Sturm stood up, pinching at the bridge of his nose. He yanked his rifle out of the Jeep, shoved it up into Fairfax’s chest, eyes searing holes in the lawyer’s skull like a kid burning ants with a magnifying glass. “This is your doing. Now you finish the job, you sonofabitch.”

  Fairfax’s fingers clasped the rifle against his will, but he knew better than to protest. He looked like he wanted to throw up. He stumbled over to the dog pen, put the barrel against the dog’s head, just in front of the soft ear, closed his eyes, and pulled the trigger. Afterwards, he couldn’t move, just stood there with his head down, shoulders hitching once in a while. Bob Bronson went inside and pretended he didn’t know him.

  Sturm hurled a shovel at the pen as hard as he could. It hit the chicken wire behind Fairfax with a clang and he flinched. “You show my dog some respect and bury her deep out in the corner of the yard, over by the corn. Deep! You hear me, you fucking dumbshit? It best be deep, by God, or so help me, I’ll shoot you myself.” He turned back to the men. They were silent, subdued, respectful.

  Sturm said, “Let’s go hunt us a tiger.”

  * * * * *

  When they got back to the vet hospital, the tiger looked like it was still unconscious. Still, nobody was in a rush to jump into the stall and find out. Instead, Chuck and Pine produced an oil barrel filled with ice and a beer bottles in the back of Chuck’s truck. Frank gladly accepted a beer. It was ice cold and tasted almost sweet. A few minutes later, a few bottles of Jack Daniels got passed around. Frank filled his flask and passed the bottle on.

  When the tiger hadn’t moved in over twenty minutes, they picked it up by its paws. Nobody knew if it was male or female, nobody’d gotten brave enough to look close. They carried all six hundred pounds of cat out to the horse trailer.

  Sturm had given Bronson the honor of hunting the tiger. But this time, he wanted to make sure that it was more of a real hunt and less like shooting fish in a barrel. So this time they went farther out, out in the foothills at the edge of Sturm’s property, to a dry creek bed cut from the hill by winter storms. Over the last hundred years, the creek had wandered back and forth with impunity across the five miles of level valley floor. Where they had parked the trailer, the creek was nearly twenty yards across, filled with dead creek grass, brittle and draped close over rocks as if the grass remembered when water ran over the gravel underbelly of the creek. Now, in the brutal summer heat, the gravel was covered in a chalky white crust, burnt in the sun.

  Farther up, the creek’s banks rose sharply into loose, sandy soil, shrinking to only a fifteen-foot width. Pine backed the trailer up to where the creek narrowed, tires crunching on the white rocks.

  Inside the trailer, the tiger didn’t make a sound. Frank got scared that the Ace had done something permanent, and once Pine turned off the engine, he got out and peered through the slats. But the tiger was awake, and watching him back. It growled low, then suddenly sprang, snarling and ripping at the chicken wire.

  Everyone except Fairfax, who was back at the house burying the dog, gathered at the back of the trailer. Sturm took a stick and drew a map in a sandy stretch; it looked like a long, S-shaped crude drawing of the esophagus, stomach, and large intestine.

  Sturm told Bronson, “We’ll drop you at this end here, up a ways, where the creek widens out.” He jabbed at what would have been the stomach in the drawing with his stick. “That’s where you wait. Then Pine and Frank’ll release the tiger and send it your way. We’ll be spread out up along the edge on top, just in case, but hell, in that narrow stretch, the bank’s at least fifteen, twenty feet high. That tiger, he’ll stick to the shadows in the ravine. He’ll end up right in your lap. You just be ready, right?”

  Bronson slapped the butt of his rifle and grinned. “Shit. That tiger won’t know what hit it. Hope you’re hungry boys. That abalone was damn fine, but we got tiger on the menu tonight.” He licked his teeth. “And if it’s a male, then by God, I’m gonna eat the penis. Fella in Chinatown claims it’ll turn you into a goddamn sex machine.”

  “Suppose the tiger doesn’t head father into the creek,” Frank said. “Suppose it decides to head the other way. What then?”

  Sturm mulled that over. Frank could see he wanted to dismiss that possibility, but after the last two hunts, he’d realized these goddamn big cats were unpredictable, to say the least. “Shit.” He nodded. “Shit.”

  “Looks like we need a dog is all,” Bronson said. “Tell you what. Frank here, he’s the expert, why don’t you drive the tiger up in there.”

  “What do you suggest I use? Foul language?”

  Sturm snapped his fingers. “Rock salt.” He went to the Jeep and started digging around in the tool box. “Get your shotgun.” Frank’s Winchester was resting in the gun rack of the pickup along with Pine’s M-1. Sturm held up a fistful of .12 gauge shells. “Loaded these last year, after I caught a couple of them fucking Gloucks on my property. Just rock salt. Won’t kill anything bigger’n a squirrel, but it’ll sure sting like a sonofabitch.”

  “There we go. Problem solved,” Bronson said.

  “Yeah,” Frank said, pumping the shotgun, spitting out the lethal shells. He didn’t sound convinced. He put the shells in his shirt pockets, just in case, and reloaded the shotgun with the new loads.

  Sturm handed Pine a walkie-talkie. “When we get in place, you let it loose. But not before I tell you, got it?” Everybody piled in the Jeep. Sturm drove this time.

  * * * * *

  Pine said, “Well. Don’t that suck donkey dick.”

  “Yeah.” Frank took a gulp from his flask and passed it to Pine. In this kind of sun, he’d found that an ice cold glass of fresh squeezed orange juice with two fifths of Appleton Estate Jamaican Rum was better than just about anything. But today the raw Jack Daniels worked damn near as well. They crouched in the sliver of shade of the horse trailer and passed the flask back and forth for a while, not saying much.

  The walkie-talkie beeped. “Let her rip.”

  Pine wouldn’t look at Frank. “Good luck.”

  Frank checked for about the hundredth time that the safety was off and there was a fresh shell in the chamber. He backed slowly away, dull black shotgun heavy and slick in his sweaty fingers. Inside the trailer, the tiger was quiet as death.

  Pine sidled along the trailer. Once there, he nodded at Frank, then kicked open the bottom gate, ripped the duct tape away from the top hinge, and let the gate fall open. He dropped to his stomach and wriggled backward under the trailer. Frank raised the shotgun.

  The tiger exploded from the back of the trailer and went for him.


  Frank aimed low, tracking the blur of black, orange, and white, and when the tiger was fifteen feet away, he fired. The blast sent a spray of stinging salt and sand up into the tiger’s face. The cat immediately threw itself sideways, hissing and spitting. Frank felt sorry for the creature as it glared at him for a moment, seemed to consider trying for him again, then ran off, deeper into the creek, towards Bronson.

  “That was goddamn close and I ain’t shitting you at all,” Pine hollered from under the trailer.

  “Yeah,” Frank said.

  The walkie-talkie beeped again. “Tell Frank to make sure that tiger keeps going. Don’t want it laying low in some bushes, got it?”

  * * * * *

  Frank jacked a new shell into the chamber and started across the white rocks, slowly following the tiger. The cliffs on either side grew taller and closed in. The shadows grew deeper, darker. White chalky crust gave way to damp sand and slippery, slick green algae, down where the sun never hit. Stiff, brittle bushes began to choke the creek bed. Frank clutched the shotgun, trying to look everywhere at once, watching for the tiger and Bronson. He didn’t want to get eaten, but he sure as hell didn’t want to get shot either.

  When he reached the spot where the creek widened, he stopped, then crouched low, wedging himself into a tangle of bushes draped with dried moss and dead tree limbs. His eyes flickered back and forth, searching for movement. The wide spot, maybe twenty yards across, had been bisected with a rotting pine tree, a victim of the surging waters. The soil around the roots had washed away, and some years earlier it had toppled over into the creek. Now it was lying at a downward angle across a stretch of flat, smooth stones. Thick bushes dotted the crumbling cliffs. He couldn’t see the tiger anywhere. He glanced up at the top of the cliffs, but couldn’t see Sturm or Chuck or Pine or anybody else.

  Thirty yards away, at the far end, Bronson clomped into view, his head just a turnip jammed into the shoulders of a safari jacket. The man couldn’t sneak up on Sturm’s dead Lab. When he reached the log, he straddled it and rested, wiping the sweat from his brow. At first, he held his rifle ready, slowly swiveling his head back and forth, scanning for the tiger. But as the minutes ticked by, Frank watched the man’s patience erode like the dirt under the pine tree. Bronson set the rifle next to him and lit a cigar.