Holding On: Ruthless Sinners MC

by L. Wilder

  “Remington,” he whispered, and my heart fluttered at the sound of his voice. His eyes never left mine as he clasped his hands on either side of my face. “Don’t leave. Stay with me.”

  Never before had I felt so wanted. So alive. I wanted to do as he asked and stay there. I wanted to savor every second, but unfortunately, the moment ended as quickly as it began. Doc gave me a gentle nudge as he whispered, “Remington. Hey, Remington.”

  “Noah?”

  “No, doll. Sorry to disappoint, but it’s just me.”

  My eyes fluttered open, and I found Doc standing next to me, holding a plate filled with toast, eggs, and bacon. “Oh, umm…Hey.”

  “Brought you some breakfast.”

  “Thanks, but I’m not really all that hungry.”

  “Maybe not, but the food would do you good.” He placed the plate on the table next to me. “You were having yourself quite a dream there, weren’t ya? Heard you say ‘Noah’ a couple of times.”

  “Oh, really? I don’t remember.” Feeling more than a little embarrassed that I’d been caught dreaming about Noah, I looked over to the window and was surprised to see sunlight seeping through the blinds. “What time is it?”

  “Almost ten. You’ve been out for a good while.”

  “How long?”

  “In and out for two days now.”

  “Seriously?” I sat up and was surprised that even though I was still a little groggy, I didn’t feel as bad as I had before. I wasn’t as stiff and sore, and I didn’t feel like the room was spinning. I brushed the hair from my face and cringed at how tangled and matted it was. “How is it possible that I’ve been out of it for two days?”

  “It’s perfectly normal. Your body needed time to heal.”

  “That means it’s been even longer since I’ve had a decent shower. I feel so gross.”

  “I tell you what.” He motioned his hand over to the plate of food. “Since your fever’s finally broken, we can get you a shower and a change of clothes, but I’m gonna need you to eat something first.”

  A shower sounded marvelous. I’d been wanting one since the night of the attack, and the thought of feeling a little more normal had me reaching for the plate of food. “Well, I’m definitely up for that. So, does this mean the infection is gone?”

  “No, you’ll need to stay on the antibiotics for a good bit longer, but the worst is over.”

  “Thank goodness.” I took a bite of toast, then said, “Thank you, Doc. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t been here to help me.”

  “Glad to do it, doll.” A smile crossed his face. “Now, eat up. You’ve got a big day ahead.”

  “Big day ahead?”

  “We’ll talk about that later. For now, let’s get you ready to face the day.”

  While I was tempted to push him for more, I was too excited about taking a shower to care. I finished my toast, and after I ate a few bites of eggs and bacon, I couldn’t eat another thing. Doc took my plate as he said, “I’ve got a couple of things to tend to. I’ll be back in a bit to see if you’re feeling up to having that shower.”

  “Okay, I’ll be here.” I chuckled.

  With that, he gave me a big smile, then turned and walked out of the room, leaving me to wait alone. I took the moment to lift my t-shirt and check out the wounds for myself. They were both covered with bandages, but I didn’t let that stop me. Starting with the larger one on my lower abdomen, I slowly peeled back the surgical tape and cringed when I saw the long line of stitches. While I was thankful that they weren’t red and angry, I had no doubt that they’d leave a nasty scar. I replaced the bandage, then quickly checked the second, much smaller one. Similar to the other, I feared that it would also leave a pretty bad scar. I’d just started putting my bandage back in place when the door opened, and Noah stepped into the room. As usual, he looked incredibly hot in his jeans and black leather vest, but there was no missing the fatigue in his eyes. It looked like he hadn’t slept in days as he rushed over to me and asked, “What are you doing? Is something wrong?”

  “No.” Realizing that I was fully exposed and he was getting an eyeful, I quickly secured my bandage and pulled down my shirt. Embarrassed, I snapped, “Everything’s fine.”

  “Then, what were you doing?”

  “Nothing. I was just looking at my injuries.” Having him so close made me think about the dream I’d just had and how real it felt, so much so, I could almost feel the warmth of his touch on my skin. Shaking the thought from my mind, I said, “I think I’m finally getting over all this.”

  “I see that.” A strange expression crossed his face. “You had us worried there for a minute.”

  “I had myself worried. But Doc seems to think the worst is over.”

  “That’s good to hear.”

  He stood there for a moment, just looking at me like he had something to say. I was curious to know what was on his mind and hoped that he would actually tell me, but the words never came. Instead, he just nodded his head and started walking over to the door. “You’re leaving?”

  “Yeah, got things to do.”

  Before I had a chance to respond, he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. Damn. What was it about this man that got to me like he did? He was often cold and distant, hard to reach, but at the same time, I felt an unexplainable pull towards him—like he was a part of me, and without him I’d never truly be complete. I knew it was crazy to think such a thing. I barely knew the man. I wouldn’t have even met him if he hadn’t found me in that damn dumpster, but I felt it all the same.

  I was in my thoughts when Doc came back into the room. I could hear him talking, but I was too stuck in my head to respond. I simply sat there and watched as he unhooked my IV. I remained silent as helped me to my feet and led me over to the door. I was still pretty weak, but with every step, I felt a little stronger. When we made it across the hall to the room, Doc opened the door, and I was surprised to find my purple duffle bag sitting on the bed along with a couple of towels and toiletries. “Is that mine?”

  “I reckon so.”

  “But how’d they get here?”

  “I’m guessing Shotgun had something to do with that.”

  “But...”

  Sensing my concern, Doc said, “I’m sure he was careful. He always is.”

  “If you say so.”

  I opened up my bag and quickly sifted through all the different clothes and some toiletries. An uneasy feeling crossed over me when I thought about Noah going through my things, but that notion quickly left my mind when I found my favorite pair of sweats and t-shirt. “Okay, I think I’m all set.”

  “Great.” He led me into the bathroom, and after he turned on the shower, he looked over to me and asked, “Do you think you can handle things from here?”

  “Yeah, I think I’ve got it, but what about my stitches?”

  “I’ve already cleaned them, and the bandages I used are waterproof, so you should be fine.”

  “Okay.”

  As he stepped out of the room, he said, “I’ll be right outside if you change your mind.”

  “Okay. Thanks, Doc.”

  “No problem.”

  Once he’d closed the door, I started to undress. It wasn’t too difficult. The clothes I’d been wearing were way too big and practically hanging on me. I just released the drawstring on the pants, and they fell to the floor. The t-shirt took a little more maneuvering, especially with the two sets of stitches on my chest, but I managed to remove it. With my clothes puddled at my feet, I looked at myself in the mirror, taking a minute to examine the bruises on my face and was pleased to see that they were almost gone. There were just a few remnants under my eyes and cheek, but for the most part, they looked a hundred percent better. Feeling relieved, I stepped into the shower and closed the sliding door. I couldn’t begin to describe how good the hot water felt against my skin. I was in absolute heaven.

  Once I was done washing up, I turned off the water and stepped out of
the shower. It took some time to dry off, but I managed to do it without having to ask Doc for help. I reached for the clothes, and my insides tightened into a painful knot as I leaned down to put on my panties, causing me to almost fall. Hearing me stumble, Doc called out, “You okay in there?”

  “Yeah, I’m all right.” I lowered the lid on the commode, then sat down to slip on my underwear and sweats. I was already winded, so I decided to skip the bra and put on my t-shirt without it. I twisted my wet hair up into a bun, then ever-so-slowly made my way back into the bedroom with Doc. “I feel a hundred percent better.”

  “Good.” As he started towards the door, he announced, “I’ll let them know you’re ready.”

  “Ready for what?”

  “Shotgun will explain everything.”

  “He was just here and didn’t mention anything,” I argued.

  “Not surprised.” He gave me a small shrug. “That’s the way it is with Shotgun. He does things his way, or he doesn’t do them at all.”

  I’d soon find out that no truer words had ever been spoken about Noah—especially where I was concerned.

  Shotgun

  I didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with me. I couldn’t even be in the same room with her without thinking about that fucking kiss. I still don’t understand how I could’ve let it happen. I was sitting next to her bed, watching as she slept, when I heard her mutter my name. Thinking she was asking for me, I stood and stepped closer to her, hovering over her as I waited to see if she would say it again. Before I’d realized what was happening, she slipped her hand around my neck and had pulled me towards her. Our mouths met, and I nearly came undone. I couldn’t remember feeling anything so incredible. I should’ve pulled back, broken free from her grasp, but I couldn’t make myself do it. I needed more, so I kissed her back—long and hard. What kind of sick, fucking bastard does that? She was basically unconscious, had no idea what she was doing, and yet I didn’t fucking care. I kissed her back, and I fucking liked it.

  I’d gone to the infirmary this morning to see if she’d remembered what had happened, but it was clear that she didn’t. Infuriated with myself for losing control, I stormed out and went straight to my room. I needed to clear my head, so I took off my clothes and got into the shower. I’d hoped the cold water would take the edge off, but even after several long minutes, I was still wound up tight. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get Remington out of my fucking head. Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was her. Hell, I could still smell her on my skin, feel the warmth of her body when she pulled me close, and it was fucking with my head. Hell, she’d been fucking with my head since that first time I saw her at Stilettos, and over the past week, it’d only gotten worse. I shouldn’t have been thinking about any of it.

  My focus should’ve been on getting that fucking asshole, Mathews, but my mind was flooded with visions of her that had my breath strained and my cock rock-fucking-hard. She was lying on the bed, her smooth bare skin completely exposed. Her hand trailing over her perfectly round breast as she waited for me to take her. The wanton look in her eyes had me reaching for the faucet and turning the water to hot. I took my throbbing dick in my hand, gripping my fingers tightly around my pulsing shaft and groaned. I needed to feel the bite as I started to move my hand up and down my thick cock.

  My breath quickened as I imagined myself settling between her legs, her body writhing against the soft cotton sheets as her little whimpers and moans echoed through the room. With each vision, my hand moved faster, gripped tighter, and every stroke had me closer to the edge. My dick pulsed in my hand when I imagined the expression on her face as she watched me lower my mouth to her warm, wet center. The erotic blush of her skin. Her hands diving into my hair, holding me in place as I tormented her with my mouth. Her toes curling. Fuck. That’s all it took. Every fucking muscle in my body grew taut as I came long and hard.

  I stood there for several minutes, letting the hot water wash away my sins, and again, I found myself thinking of what a sick bastard I was. It wasn’t until the water grew ice cold that I finally turned it off and got out of the shower. I grabbed a towel and dried off, then went back to the bedroom to get dressed. As I pulled on my clothes, I looked over at the bed and thought about all the hours of sleep I’d missed over the past couple of days. There wasn’t time for sleep. After talking to McKinney, I’d learned that our worst fears were true. The Punishers were in with a dirty cop, and together, they were working to take down the Sinners. Apparently, they didn’t like the fact our new Stilettos strip club was on their turf, and they liked it even less when they got word that we were selling top-grade blow and their sales had gone to shit. McKinney warned that Detective Mathews was as cut-throat as they came, and if he found out Remington was alive, he’d stop at nothing to make sure he finished the job he started. That was something that had my blood running cold and made me more determined than ever to take him down.

  Knowing Viper was waiting for me in his office, I finished getting dressed, grabbed my cut, and headed out. When I walked into his office, Viper was sitting at his desk talking to Hawk and Axel. Their conversation quickly ended when Viper looked over to me and said, “I talked to Ada. She’ll be expecting you two within the hour.”

  “You sure you don’t need me here?”

  “We both know I need you here, brother, but I need you there more.”

  “I get that, I really do, but I need to be here with you and the brothers when shit goes down.”

  “And you will be, but we’re not there yet.” He crossed his arms as he leaned back in his chair. “You gotta remember, our livelihood is hidden away in that locker. If anything happens to it, we’re fucked. I need you to make sure that doesn’t happen, and with the cops sniffing around, Remington will be safer at Ada’s.”

  The cops were still causing problems. They were in and out of the strip club, poking around and looking for any reason to shut us down. Hell, they’d even gone so far as to have Viper come in for fucking questioning. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I knew Viper was right. I needed to be at the locker in case those motherfuckers showed up, and it truly was the best place for Remington. I gave Viper a nod as I replied, “Understood.”

  “Good. I’m putting my trust in you, brother. Don’t let me down.”

  “You know I won’t.”

  He gave me a nod, then looked over to Hawk. “Get with Menace. If he has anything new on Mathews, I want to know about it. Also need him to find out everything he can on these Punisher motherfuckers. I’m gonna need the names of every member. Where they live. Which project or corner they deal from. Anything you can find.”

  “You got it.”

  Viper then turned his attention to Axel. “We’re about to have a hell of a war on our hands, brother.”

  “That we will, brother. That we will.”

  The next few days pretty much sucked balls. I was in a fucking pissy mood over being stuck at Ada’s and away from my brothers and the clubhouse. As bad as that was, it wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was the fact that Remington was feeling and looking better by the minute. She was up and moving around, her bruises were all but gone, and she and Ada were yammering back and forth like two old wet hens. If that wasn’t bad enough, they kept pulling me into their conversations—which just so happened to be mostly about me. I had no idea why Remington kept playing along with Ada. Hell, if I didn’t know better, I might’ve thought she was actually enjoying torturing me.

  We’d just finished eating breakfast when Ada leaned over to Remington and asked, “You have yourself any siblings?”

  “No, ma’am. My folks decided not to have any more kids after me.” Remington giggled as she said, “I think I was a bit of a handful when I was younger.”

  “I doubts dat.” Ada shook her head. “I bet you were a precious ding; just likes you are now.”

  “Thank you for saying that, Ms. Ada, but I never really made it easy on my folks. Seems like I was always getting into some
thing. I don’t know how they put up with me.” Remington’s eyes drifted to the ground as she said, “But I guess that’s what you do when you love someone.”

  “Dat’s exactly right.” Ada glanced over to me. “Dat boy might not be mine, but I loves him all da same. Yes, I shore do. Love dat boy just like I loves my own chil’ren.”

  “He’s really lucky to have you, Ms. Ada.”

  “No, child. I’m lucky to have him.” She reached over and ran her hand up and down my bicep. “He won’t agree wit’ me, but he’s a good boy. Fine as day come. Now, don’t gets me wrong. He’s always been a handful.”

  A big smile crossed Remington’s face as she looked over at me and said, “I bet he was.”

  “Hey, I was a good kid,” I argued. “Never got into trouble.”

  “Now, we both know dats not true.” Ada chuckled as she leaned over to Remington and asked, “Did I’s ever tell you about da day Noah here jumped off da roof?”

  “No, ma’am.” Remington glanced over at me with a smile plastered across her beautiful face. “You haven’t told me that one yet.”

  “Ooo-wee. Never heard such hollerin’ in my whole life. I thought the child was gonna die for sure. I come rushin’ outside and found him laid out on da ground, and he was carryin’ on somethin awful.” She shook her head with a chuckle. “Till dis day, never could get ’em to tells me the truths ’bout why’s he was up dare on dat roof. I’m a guessing it was just a bunch of foolishness.”