Holding On: Ruthless Sinners MC

by L. Wilder

  “Don’t give me dat nonsense. You can do anything you puts your minds to. I’ve seen da way yous looks at each other. Y’alls got somethin’. Any fool can see that.” She huffed. “You need to open dem eyes. Stop lookin’ at da past and start lookin’ at what’s right in front of ya.”

  “And what happens if I lose her?”

  “And what if ya don’t?” She gave me a knowing look as she said, “It’s time to let go of all dem fears, all da guilt, and whatever else you’ve been holdin’ on to. You’ve gots a life to live, and it’s time to start livin’ it. Yous a good man, Noah, and yous deserve some happiness in your life. Your folks and dat girl would want that for you.”

  “You make it all sound so easy.”

  “No, child. Nothin’ about this is gonna be easy, but nothin’ worth havin’ is easy.” When Cletus, our newest prospect, pulled through the gate, Ada stood up and grabbed her bag. “Now, I’m gonna get to gettin’. I suggest you do the same.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  I took the bag from her hand and carried it over to Cletus’s truck. Once I’d put it in the back, I helped Ada inside and said my goodbyes. As I stood there watching them drive through the gate, I thought about everything Ada had said. I had to give it to her. She had a way of getting you in the jugular, but as usual, a lot of what she said was right. I had been holding on to the past. It was a big part of me, and even if I’d wanted to let go, I never knew how. I wasn’t sure I had it in me to do it now, but for the first time, I actually had the desire to try. I didn’t even know it was possible for me to feel the kinds of things I did for Remington.

  From the moment I saw her, I’d felt a need to protect her. Hell, I wanted to wring that guy’s neck for hassling her at the strip club, but it was nothing like what I felt when I found her in that fucking dumpster. I thought those feelings would subside when the bruises started to fade and she was back on her feet, but I was wrong. They only grew stronger. I tried to ignore the pull I felt towards her, tried to push it out of my head, but that was the thing about Remington, she was a force that simply couldn’t be ignored. Her beauty. Her strength. Her goodness. The way she looked at me like I was everything she wanted. I tried with everything I had, but there was no way I could resist that kind of temptation. After letting Ada’s words sink in, I was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, she was right.

  I had no idea if things could work with me and Remington. Hell, with us being from two different worlds, the whole thing could blow up in my face. I could be left with nothing but smoke and ash, but she was worth that risk. When I finally walked into to Ada’s, I found Remington sitting on the sofa, and like every time I saw her, she took my breath away. She wasn’t all dolled up. She was just wearing a pair of shorts with a fitted t-shirt, but fuck, the woman was absolutely stunning. As soon as she noticed that I’d come into the room, she looked up from the book in her lap and smiled. “Hey.”

  “Hey.” I went over and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. “Guess you know that Ada’s going to be gone for a few days.”

  “Yes. She told me she was going to see her granddaughter.” She closed her book, then stood up and walked over to me in the kitchen. “I was kind of surprised. She hadn’t mentioned that she was thinking about going.”

  “Not sure that she was.”

  “Then, why did she go?” Her eyes widened with embarrassment. “Oh God. Do you think it had something to do with last night? Do you think she heard something?”

  “Got no idea.”

  “Noah!” Her face blushed red as she gasped. “What if she heard us?”

  “Then, she heard something.” I shrugged. “Ada’s a smart woman. She knows things happen, so don’t sweat it.”

  “That’s easy for you to say.” She inched a little closer, then took my water bottle from my hand. After she took a quick sip, she asked, “So, how’d it go at the clubhouse?”

  “As well as can be expected.”

  “So, there’s no news on anything?”

  “None that I can share.”

  She rolled her eyes with a sigh. “I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to that.”

  “Well, if you’re gonna be with me, then you’re gonna have to get used to it.” I was being curt with her, but honest at the same time. The club was my life. If she was going to be with me, she’d have to learn to accept the good and bad that came with being attached to someone in an MC. She needed to decide now if she was capable and willing to handle both. “’Cause that’s not something that’s going to change.”

  Her eyes narrowed as she considered what I said. I thought she was going to come at me with some comment about the club, but I was wrong. “What do you mean ‘going to be with me’?”

  “As I recall, you were the one who said I was everything you wanted and needed.” I slipped my arm around her waist and pulled her close. Damn, she felt so fucking good in my arms. “Or have you changed your mind about that?”

  “No, I haven’t changed my mind about anything.”

  “Good.” I leaned over to her, planting my mouth on hers, and kissed her thoroughly. Just when we were both starting to get carried away, I pulled back, breaking from our embrace. “Gotta go.”

  “What!”

  As I started for the door, I replied, “Gotta go make my rounds.”

  “Can I go with you?”

  I shook my head and said, “No.”

  “Ugh...Okay then, when will you be back?”

  “When I’m done?”

  She rolled her eyes with a sigh. “What about dinner?”

  “We’ll figure out something.” I gave her a wink, then stepped out onto the porch. “Don’t have too much fun while I’m gone.”

  Before she could respond, I closed the door and headed over to the office to check in on McKinney. I took him some leftovers and made sure that he didn’t need anything else, then headed out to do a quick perimeter check. I was about to head back inside when I got a call from Menace. As soon as I answered, he announced, “You’re not gonna believe this shit.”

  “What?”

  “I was able to hack into the IA detective’s computer.”

  “Thomas Long?”

  “Yeah. Turns out he had all kind of shit on Mathews and was just about to take him down, but Mathews got to him before that could happen.”

  “Anything there we could use?”

  “Hell yeah, but that’s not the problem.” I could hear the frustration in my brother’s voice as he explained, “With these fucking cops, it’s hard to tell the difference between the good and the bad.”

  “No doubt about that.”

  “If we want to find a way to use this shit against Mathews, we’re gonna have to come up with the right way to do it.”

  “You think you can find out if Long had a partner or someone he trusted?”

  “Got no idea, but I’ll look into it.”

  “Good. Let me know what you find out.”

  After I ended the call, I shoved my phone back in my pocket and headed up the steps. As I reached for the door, a strange sensation washed over me. At first I didn’t know what it was, but then it hit me. It was hope—something I hadn’t felt in a long fucking time. We were getting closer to taking these motherfuckers down. Once we did, we could all get on with our lives, especially Remington.

  When I walked inside the house, Remington was in the kitchen putting the dishes away. She stopped what she was doing and looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes as she asked, “Hey there, handsome. You hungry?”

  “Um-hmm.”

  “Okay, I could fix you a sandwich or some leftovers from last night.”

  “Not really in the mood for leftovers.”

  “Well, there’s some hamburger meat.” She started towards the refrigerator as she said, “I could fix you a burger or—”

  She was about to open the refrigerator door when I reached for her, pulling her over to me. “That’s not what I’m hungry for.”

  Remington’s eye
s quickly filled with lust as she stared at my lips. When I couldn’t stand it a moment longer, I lowered my mouth to hers with a hard, demanding kiss. Her hands dove into my hair as I delved deeper into her mouth. It didn’t take long for things to become heated. With my cock throbbing with need, I growled, “Damn it, woman. You got any idea what you do to me?”

  “Show me.”

  I watched in awe as her hands dropped to her shorts, and with a quick twist, she had them unbuttoned and they were slipping down her long sexy legs. Fuck. In a matter of seconds, this woman had my entire body consumed with need. I pulled her back into my arms and let my hand trail possessively down her abdomen. A light hiss escaped her lips when I eased the lining of her lace panties to the side and grazed her center with the tips of my fingers—my already hard cock pulsed against my zipper when I found she was already soaked. “Damn, you’re so fuckin’ wet.”

  She gasped as I pulled her shirt off and slipped her perfectly round breasts out of her bra. With her eyes on mine, I lowered my mouth and began swirling my tongue, first around one nipple and then the next. Her head fell back as she moaned, “Oh God.”

  I nipped and sucked, relishing the sounds of her little whimpers as I teased her with my tongue and my teeth.

  “You have any idea how bad I want you right now?”

  “Um-hmm.” She purred. “Just as much as I want you.”

  I lowered my hands to her hips and reached for her lace panties, easing them down her legs. Desire flashed through her eyes as I lifted her up and placed her on the kitchen counter. Need and desire had me lowering my mouth between her thighs.

  She inhaled a deep breath when the bristles of my beard brushed against her soft skin, her back arching as my tongue skimmed across her smooth center. I spread her trembling legs wider, and a needful moan echoed through the room as I slid my tongue between her folds.

  “Damn, baby. You taste like fucking heaven.”

  Remington's breath became uneven and hitched as I slipped my finger deep inside her. Focused and unrelenting, I teased her g-spot with a slow and steady rhythm. Her hips inched forward as she tensed around me. Loving how her beautiful body responded to my touch, I continued grazing and teasing her clit with my tongue. Overcome by her impending release, she grabbed me by the hair and lifted her hips, begging for me to give her more. I drove another finger deep inside her while biting down gently on her clit until she got exactly what she needed.

  Her head fell back as she gasped. “Yes!”

  “That’s it, baby.”

  I slid my tongue over her as I continued moving my fingers inside her body, tormenting that spot that was driving her to the edge. That was all it took. While muttering my name incoherently, she submitted to her release and clamped down around my fingers.

  Nothing turned me on more than watching her come undone. I couldn’t wait a moment longer. I had to be inside her. She was still in the throes of her release when I got undressed and rolled on a condom. Anticipation filled her eyes as I wrapped my fingers around my pulsing cock and started to slowly stroke my hand up and down my long, hard shaft. Fuck. She looked so damn beautiful sitting there, her eyes dazed with lust, waiting for me with that wanton look. I couldn’t imagine wanting her more. I pulled her to the edge of the counter and brushed my cock against her slick center.

  She was so warm and wet that I nearly lost it. Inhaling a deep breath, I tried to calm the storm that was raging inside of me, but my woman was eager for more. Unable to wait a moment longer, she wrapped her legs around me and forced me deep inside. I froze. Fuck. She felt so damn good, just like she had the night before. Hell, it was all I could do to keep myself from coming right then and there. I never dreamed a woman could have me at such a loss of control. I slowly withdrew and watched with a sense of satisfaction as her brows furrowed with disapproval. A slight smile crossed my face as I leaned over to her and whispered, “You like having my cock inside you?”

  “Um-hmm,” she mumbled with a slight nod.

  I drove into her again and again—each time a bit faster and more unforgiving. A pleasured hiss slipped through her teeth as her heels dug into my back. As much as I loved having her this way, I wanted more. I needed to feel her, touch every inch of her body. Lifting her up from the counter, I ordered, “Hold on, baby.”

  With my cock still buried deep inside her, I carried her into the bedroom and lowered us down, letting Remington’s knees straddle me. I dropped my hands to her waist and started guiding her over my cock in an unforgiving rhythm. She placed her hands on my shoulders, trying to steady herself as she shouted, “Oh God, Noah.”

  There was something about hearing her call out my name that sent an intense heat coursing through my body. I was consumed by my need for this woman, and I knew I’d never feel this way for anyone else. Remington had come into my life and given me something I didn't even know I needed. She would be mine—all mine, heart and soul. When I rocked against her, I could feel her muscles contracting all around me, and I knew then her second orgasm was about to take hold. My body grew rigid as my release inched its way through me.

  I fisted my hand in her long hair, giving it a gentle tug, as I thrust forward, driving inside her once again. She was so fucking hot, so tight, and it was all too much. I couldn’t imagine a better feeling. I drew back and slammed into her again, taking her harder and deeper.

  “Fuckkk!” I shouted out as my throbbing cock demanded its release. My fingers dug into her hips as I guided her forward in a feverish rhythm until we both came.

  We both stilled, fighting to catch our breath, and after several moments, our heartbeats began to slow.

  “Woman, I knew you’d do me in.”

  “Oh, really?” Looking slightly dazed and completely sated, a sexy smile spread across her gorgeous face. “You complaining?”

  “Umm … Hell, no.” I glanced down at my cock still buried deep inside her as I said, “I can’t think of anything better.”

  Remington

  My encounter with Noah in the kitchen had taken me by complete surprise. I’d hoped things between us had changed, especially after the night we’d shared, but I wasn’t so sure. Noah wasn’t the easiest man to read, but he made things pretty damn clear in the kitchen. From the moment his lips touched mine, I knew he was done holding back. Like a man possessed, his hands became rough and impatient as they roamed all over my body, and I couldn’t lie, I loved every minute of it. The man made me feel things I didn’t even know were possible. Just thinking about it had me rolling over to his empty side of the bed and wishing he was still there. I called out his name but didn’t get an answer.

  Curious as to where he’d gone, I tossed the covers back and got out of bed. After freshening up a bit, I threw on my clothes and went to see if I could find him. When I got to the living room, there was no sign of him, so I walked over to the window and pulled the curtain back. As I peeked outside, I spotted Noah entering the office. I’d seen him go in there before, but I thought he was just helping out Ada. Since she wasn’t here, I was curious as to why he’d be heading in there again. That curiosity had me putting on my shoes and slipping outside. I knew I shouldn’t leave the house, especially after what happened last time, but I just couldn’t help myself. I approached the door I had a feeling I was about to do something I shouldn’t. It practically screamed at me to stop, but I ignored it and reached for the doorknob.

  I eased the door open and found Noah standing right inside the doorway. When he saw me, he didn’t speak but just stood there with a blank expression on his face. I was about to ask him what he was doing when I heard the sound of metal scratching against the floor. I turned to see where the noise was coming from, and I got the shock of a lifetime. One of the men who’d attacked me was sitting on the sofa with a thick chain around his ankle, and from the looks of it, he’d been sleeping there for days. As I stood there staring at him, all the memories from that night came flooding back, and my heart started beating wildly inside my chest. I couldn’t move
. I couldn’t breathe. I just stood there and gaped at him in horror until I heard Noah say my name.

  “Remington?”

  The sound of his voice brought me back to my senses. Still in shock, I looked over to him, then bolted out the door and raced back towards Ada’s. I was just about to reach the front steps when I felt a hand grab my arm and pull me back. “Remington, wait!”

  My mind racing, my heart still beating wildly, I turned to him and shouted, “That man. He’s one of them. He hurt me, Noah. He’s going to kill me.”

  “No, Remington. He’s not going to hurt you.” He placed his hands on my shoulders, trying to calm me down as he said, “I need you to listen to me. Can you do that for me?”

  “Why should I listen to you”—I pointed over to the office—“when you have him chained up in there? Are you just waiting for him to finish me off?”

  “Hold on a fucking minute.” His eyes flashed with anger as he removed his hands from my shoulders. “I get that you’re upset, but you need to think about what you’re saying.”

  “What am I supposed to think?”

  “I can’t answer that for you. I know it looks bad.” His eyes were locked on mine. “But you’ve got to decide. Do you trust me or not? It’s as simple as that.”

  It took a moment for his words to sink in, but once they did, I realized he was right. I wanted to be with Noah. I felt safe with him, and deep inside, I knew he had my best interest at heart and had never given me a reason to doubt his good intentions. I couldn’t deny that I was having my doubts, though, especially after what I’d seen, and it didn’t help matters that there’d been so many secrets. All the hush-hush over his so-called club business was hard to swallow, so as I stood there looking into his fierce blue eyes, I said, “You know you don’t always make it easy.”

  “I know, and I have my reasons for that.”

  “Because of the club?”

  “Yes, but there’s more.”

  “Then, tell me. I deserve to know what’s going on with you.”