Dare to Hope

by Caitlin Ricci

  Before Samuel could say anything else, Chris had already ended the call. Samuel was quick to dial Kaden.

  “This is Kaden,” he said, answering Samuel’s call on the first ring.

  “Chris did something to himself. I think having Bran over at the house might help.”

  Thankfully Kaden didn’t need to be told anything more than that. “We’ll be right over. I’ll call Trent too. It won’t be like last time. We’ll all handle it much better this time around. I promise we will be able to help him.”

  Samuel needed to hear that from him. He had to have that reassurance from one of his two best friends. “I’ll see you there. Thanks.”

  “Of course.”

  Hanging up on Kaden, he raced his truck home. He hoped to find Chris there waiting for him, but everyone else was instead. He got out of his truck and headed up to let them all in. Bran paced. Kaden tried to silently comfort him. Trent sat down on the couch and simply looked worried. Samuel stood right inside the front door, waiting for Chris to come in.

  A few minutes later he heard a motorcycle pull up, and he expected Chris to knock. Instead he opened the door and instantly started stripping off his helmet and jacket and kicking off his boots, as if he couldn’t get naked fast enough.

  “Hey. Didn’t know you were having a party,” Chris said as he got his socks off by balancing with his shoulder on the wall.

  Samuel looked him over, expecting something to be wrong, but Chris looked fine. Happy even. Especially when he came over and gave Samuel a kiss on his cheek. And he was wearing a button-down shirt, along with a tie, over the tight black motorcycle pants that perfectly showed off his ass.

  “Are you okay?” Samuel asked. Bran had stopped pacing, and Samuel could see him staring at Chris too.

  Chris frowned at him, then began undoing his tie, and once it was off, he started removing his shirt. “Of course I am. What did you think? Oh….”

  Samuel watched him shift his attention over to Bran, before coming back to himself.

  “You thought I was cutting again. Didn’t you?”

  Samuel gave him a slow nod. “Yes. From your call I assumed you’d slipped and made that mistake.”

  “And then this would be an intervention. Again. Right…. Can we go upstairs?” Chris asked him, looking again to Bran, then to the others.

  Bran stepped up. “No. We’re here to help you. Let us.”

  Chris snorted, sounding a little like he was laughing at Bran, finished unbuttoning his shirt, and tossed it with the rest of his discarded clothes over the back of one of Samuel’s dining room chairs. And that’s when Samuel noticed the shiny new ring in each of his pierced nipples. He couldn’t help staring, instantly wanting to touch Chris, to bring him upstairs, where Chris had asked him to go with him.

  “Since everyone is already here and apparently going to know anyway,” Chris said, raising his voice along with his sarcasm, “I was in Thames this morning and got carried away with the piercings. I didn’t think to ask about giving you head with my tongue pierced until after she’d put the stud into my mouth. The bad thing I did was getting pierced, and now I can’t suck you off for two weeks while this thing heals.” He rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at Samuel, showing off a shiny metal ball in the center of his slightly swollen tongue.

  Bran walked up and gave him a hug, which Chris returned, but Samuel could see him flinch before he pushed Bran away.

  “Nipples are sensitive right now.”

  Bran’s face lit up. “Can I touch?”

  “No!” Kaden snapped at him from the living room where he and Trent sat on one of Samuel’s big couches.

  Bran laughed. “Can I see your tongue, then?”

  Chris stuck it out for him too, and Samuel came up to get a closer look as well.

  “Slut,” Bran teased.

  Chris closed his mouth and smiled at Bran. For Samuel, he grinned wickedly. “Saw you boys having coffee. Looked yummy. I was meeting someone in town anyway, in case you thought I was stalking you. Not that I wouldn’t if I was curious enough.”

  “You should have come over to join us,” Samuel said.

  Chris shrugged. “Didn’t want to interrupt. It’s important that couples get their own time apart.”

  Bran laid his head on Chris’s shoulder, obviously looking for attention, but Chris’s gaze didn’t stray from Samuel’s. “You came in wearing a shirt and tie,” Bran said, wrapping his arms around Chris from the side.

  Smirking, Chris nodded. “I did. Amateur stripping competition. I won a hundred bucks.”

  By the wink Chris gave him, Samuel knew he was joking.

  “Actually, I had a meeting with someone. Not anything I can really disclose to you, not details anyway, but it was business related.”

  “Lawyer related?” Bran pressed.

  Chris stepped out of his arms and went to Samuel instead. “Something like that. A guy… a custody thing… someone paid way too much to be as incompetent as he was….” He ran his hands down Samuel’s chest, to the front of his pants, and continued to drag his fingers along Samuel’s waist as he slowly circled him. “Were you worried?”

  “Of course I was,” Samuel easily admitted.

  Chris moved behind his back and wrapped his arms around Samuel from behind. It was good to be held and better to feel Chris lay his head against his back after Samuel felt him kiss his spine.

  “Sorry. I’ll remember to give you some kind of hint when I want to surprise you about something. Are they sexy, though? I tried to make sure they matched the belly button ring you got me, since I know how much you like that one. You’ll have to be gentle with me, though, for the next two weeks. You’re supposed to be nice to me and get me ice cream and brownies whenever I ask for them, while the new holes in my body heal. It says so on the aftercare instruction sheet I got.”

  Samuel grinned at Chris’s pouting face. “I think I can manage to be gentle with lots of ice cream and chocolate brownies for two weeks. After that, though, no promises.”

  With a loud laugh Chris pulled his stuff into his arms and started heading upstairs. “I’m putting all this in your bedroom. No reason to have my boots and things in the dining room when I’m just going to be naked up here later.”

  “Are you putting on a shirt?” Samuel asked him as he watched Chris go up the stairs.

  “Too rough on the nipples. You’re just going to have to suffer for a while until I’m healed up,” Chris called back down with a laugh.

  “We should play a game!” Bran declared as soon as Chris came back down the stairs. “I propose Never Have I Ever, with screwdrivers.”

  “We haven’t played that game in forever. Make the screwdrivers weak. Very, very weak. I mean it, Bran,” Chris said as he joined them all in the living room.

  Samuel made room for him on the couch beside him, and Chris instantly joined him, pressing up against his side as if he couldn’t stop touching him, which was perfectly fine with Samuel since he had to have his hands on Chris as well. “Are you drinking again, then?”

  Chris turned to look up at him, appearing uncertain. “Am I okay to be here? Even if I piss you off or I want to kill Bran? I won’t ride if I’ve had any. That thing’s a beast to control even in the best conditions.”

  Samuel wrapped an arm tightly around him. “You’ll always be welcome here.”

  “Then I’ll drink. A little,” Chris said with a soft smile.

  “How is this likely ridiculous game played?” Trent asked Chris as Bran went to go mix the drinks.

  Chris leaned his head back against Samuel’s shoulder, and Samuel wished he had Chris sitting in his lap instead, the way Bran instantly did with Kaden as soon as he came back into the room with a pitcher and a handful of glasses.

  Chris answered him as Bran started handing out glasses and pouring drinks. He didn’t get off Kaden’s lap, so there was a lot of passing the glasses down between them until they each had one. “Someone says ‘Never have I ever…’ fill in the blank.
For instance, I’d say ‘Never have I ever fallen off a horse.’ Then if you have, you take a drink. Try to make them more interesting than that, though. I don’t want to be bored.”

  Bran laughed. “No, we can’t bore you. And if no one has done the thing you say, then you take the drink. Simple enough, though not nearly as direct as truth or dare, but you can get a lot of secrets fast if you ask the right questions. Like I would say ‘Never have I ever had sex in a zoo.’ Then we could see how many of you are perverts.”

  “Aside from you?” Chris asked him with a snort, and Samuel smiled over at him, getting a wide grin and a kiss on his chin in return. “Samuel, you start. Then we’ll go around in a circle. What is something that you’ve never done?”

  Chris moved onto his back, stretching his legs out over the side of the couch and laying his head on Samuel’s thigh. It was comfortable, and even though they hadn’t done this, having Chris lying over him felt familiar. He rested his hand on Chris’s chest, right between his shiny silver-pierced nipples, and felt Chris’s heartbeat thump against his palm.

  Samuel had to think a bit before he could start. “Never have I ever kissed a girl.”

  “Clarification, are we talking kissing like you would a guy, or just a kiss on the lips or cheek?” Bran asked.

  “Well, I’ve kissed Martha, Kaden’s mom, on her cheek, and also Kylie, but no romantic girl kissing.”

  Bran nodded, and the only person that took a sip of their drink was Chris. When Samuel looked at him, he shrugged.

  “I was drunk. She stuck her tongue in my mouth. I count that.”

  Samuel shivered. “Okay, if you say so. Doesn’t sound like you had fun, though.”

  “I’ve very rarely had actual, honest fun when I’ve been flat out drunk. Trent, your turn,” Chris said, shifting attention away from himself even as Samuel continued to watch him.

  Trent sat forward, also taking his time. Then his face lit up. “Never have I ever taken a leak against a post and zapped my willy against the electric fence.”

  Both Kaden and Samuel took their cups and drank from them.

  Bran looked shocked, while Chris just laughed. “And I thought we were stupid,” he said to Bran.

  “Apparently not as much as these two,” Bran said, shaking his head. “Thank God there wasn’t any lasting damage. I’d be heartbroken. Kaden, your turn. It’ll give me time to think of one of the few things I haven’t done yet.”

  Kaden glared at Trent. “Never have I ever passed out hugging a fencepost for most of the night in the middle of winter.”

  Trent had a drink and cleared his throat after. “Hey, if your bed is empty at home, a fencepost is a great substitute.”

  Bran shook his head. “You’re all crazy. Fine, I’ve got something. Never have I ever kissed my best friend. Booyah.”

  Chris took a drink, drawing Samuel’s attention. “Huh?”

  Shrugging, Chris smiled up at him. “I have, hence the drink.”

  “Who else are you best friends with?” Bran demanded.

  Chris rolled his eyes. “You, moron. We’ve kissed, though I’m not surprised you forgot, since you were drunk off your ass stupid that night.”

  Bran looked like he didn’t believe him. “Prove it.”

  “Right. God, you’re stubborn. Fine. You were seventeen, first party we’d ever been to, right after winter break, you lost your virginity, I got my first kiss. Do you remember the guy in the Santa hat? The one you gave that sloppy wet kiss to?” Chris asked him. Bran only stared at him. “It wasn’t worth mentioning, still isn’t.”

  “I was your first kiss?” Bran sounded shocked.

  But Chris only shrugged. “Yeah. And I spent half an hour getting the taste of whatever the fuck you were drinking out of my mouth after you went upstairs with whoever that was. Believe me, you weren’t a great kisser back then. At least not when you were drunk off your ass. I hope for Kaden’s sake you’ve improved a bit. No one likes being kissed by a slobbering idiot.” He batted away the pillow Bran threw at him. “My turn now. Never have I ever said ‘I love you’ to someone romantically. Drink up, boys.”

  Everyone except Chris took a drink.

  Samuel sat forward. “Never have I ever rimmed someone.”

  “Now we’re getting somewhere,” Chris said, taking a drink, along with Bran and Kaden.

  “Never have I ever…,” Trent almost singsonged out, “been handcuffed while having sex.”

  Chris and Bran both burst out laughing as they took their drinks, sharing some secret memory that only they knew and Samuel wasn’t sure he wanted in on.

  Kaden shook his head at Bran. “Do I even want to know about it? No, never mind.”

  Bran snorted and put his glass aside. “Good choice. You really don’t want those details.”

  Kaden continued with his turn. “Never have I ever been given head while driving.”

  Surprisingly, no one else drank. When Samuel looked down at Chris, he merely smiled up at him. “I’ve given the head. I haven’t gotten it while driving. Of course, that might have something to do with preferring to be driven places except when I’m on the bike. Kaden, you drink. No one else has either. Sad day for all of us poor, pathetic saps.”

  Kaden looked proud to have asked the question no one seemed to have done and drank some.

  “I’ll be fixing that soon,” Bran said with a smirk. “Never have I ever considered having kids. Fuck no. Can you imagine me as a dad? Just… no. That kid would be so screwed up. Plus I’m selfish and lazy.”

  The first one to drink was Trent, his cheeks all pink as he did so. Chris came next, earning a stare from Bran and a smile from Samuel as he also drank from his glass. “Before you get to thinking I want a whole football team or something, it was only briefly, and only because the neighbor kid you met is pretty much the ideal child. He needs work on cleaning up after himself, but he can make his own food and doesn’t order porn when I give him control over the remote,” Chris clarified for him.

  They all laughed at how Chris described the perfect child. One of their phones started ringing, something poppy coming out, and Samuel was about to make fun of whoever it was for having that tune when Chris shifted his weight and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

  “Hey, missed you.”

  The call was too quiet for Samuel to hear who was on the other end of the call, and he wondered who Chris could be that happy to talk to as Chris smiled and closed his eyes.

  “Yeah, just hanging out with the guys. It’s pretty nice. Haven’t killed him yet. But he is on my shit list.”

  Ah, probably Misha, then, Samuel realized.

  Suddenly Chris sat up, his smile gone instantly. “What’s wrong with you? And what the fuck was that? It sounded like a gunshot, and don’t you dare fucking lie to me. I went to the range enough times with you to know what that sound is.”

  Chris looked up at Samuel, looking worried, before he got up and took the phone over to Trent. “I’m putting you on speaker. No, you don’t get to argue. Not while you won’t tell me anything.” He handed the phone to Trent. “My brother, the asshole, wants to talk to you.” Leaving his phone with Trent, he went to sit back down next to Samuel, leaning into his side.

  “Trent? Did my idiot brother actually listen to me for once?” Misha asked.

  Trent got up and started pacing up and down. “Hey. Sorry, but no. You’re on speaker.”

  “Fuck it. I don’t have time to play games. Chris, you’re a child. Trent…. So much to say. I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately, actually.”

  There were gunshots behind Misha, completely clear and enough to make Chris shake beside Samuel.

  Trent’s eyes were wide, and his usual blushed complexion had gone pale. “What can I do for you? Are you in trouble? Are you okay?”

  “What? The guns?” Misha laughed. “That’s the guys practicing on some targets. Don’t worry. I’d like to see you when I’m done here. This is going to be my last mission. I’m retiring. But I want to
see you. Can I?”

  Something in Misha’s voice didn’t sit well with Samuel. He sounded desperate, like Chris had the first time he’d called after eight months of silence. Samuel imagined him to be rattled, and maybe there were even tears in his voice, but he didn’t know Misha well enough to be sure. But looking at Trent, he knew his friend could tell something was wrong as well.

  “Sure, of course you can. Where are you? When did you want to come see me?”

  “Can’t tell you that, and I’ll be there as soon as I’m done here. It’ll be good not to have the two morons around all the time. Or your friends either, for that matter. I’ve been wanting you alone for months now. I can say that I’ll be flying out from Sydney, though. You’d better be ready,” Misha replied.

  Instantly Trent went bright red at the suggestions in Misha’s words. “I hope I’ll be ready. If you’re in Sydney, it’s only three hours flight this way. Will you let me know when and where to come pick you up?”

  Samuel heard the smile in Misha’s voice and saw it reflecting on Trent’s lips.

  “Sure. I will text you. Sorry I haven’t been responding. I didn’t really know what to say. We’ll talk much more when I’m done here. I’ll be around so much you’ll get tired of me.”

  Trent’s whole face practically glowed. “I doubt that.”

  “He’s such a jackass,” Chris muttered.

  “I heard that. Stop worrying, Chris. I’m fine. Routine stuff here.”

  Chris shook his head. “You say that every goddamn time. How many new bullet holes do you have in you now?” He took Samuel’s hand, nearly crushing his bones with the force of his squeeze.

  They all heard Misha’s loud sigh.

  “I promise I’m done after this. And Trent, I know you’ll think I’m crazy, and maybe I am, but I’ve seen so much, and I want you to know…. Shit! Chris! Why do you have to be so selfish? Can a man not have some privacy?” Misha’s voice took on an urgent tone, and Trent sat down on the edge of the chair, his eyes wide. “Trent?”

  “I’m here.”

  “I’ve seen too much to let this opportunity pass me by. I love you. I think I fell for you the first time I saw you blush in Montana. And I know it’s quick and I don’t expect it back, but I wanted you to know. Anyway, see you soon, Trent. Little brother, try not to make Samuel kill you.”