Kissing Katie: A Kissing Novel

by L. T. Kelly

  His eyes widened. She tried not to look at him. The atmosphere shifted, the fizzle of realization clinging to the air. “Wow. You’re really serious?”

  She nodded with a smile.

  “You won’t regret this, Katie. I swear it. We can make this work.”

  “I think we can. That’s why I’m doing it.”

  “I’ve got something to tell you, too.”

  She snatched her eyes way from the mirror. He looked serious. His lips pursed for a moment, and he looked away as though he were steeling himself.

  “I love you.”

  She blew out a slow, steady breath, heat flooding her chest. His ruffled blond hair made him look like the vulnerable boy she knew hid beneath the man. His wide, green eyes spoke of fear of rejection, but she could never reject him. She’d never known such an explosive feeling of elation with someone. She loved him, too.

  She dropped the mascara back into the bag then leaned toward him and took his beautiful face in her hands. Her lips crashed onto his.

  “I love you, too,” she said breathlessly, lost in his sea-green eyes.

  * * * *

  The last chords sounded, followed by a deafening silence as the band waited. Tightly held breaths and nervous glances were exchanged like business cards at a conference.

  Then the voice they waited for finally came.

  “Yes, guys, that’s it. Well done. You have an album.” Even Ray’s usually dry and disinterested tone had an excited quality to it. Al sat beside Ray behind the glass, wearing a shit-eating grin.

  A fuzzy feeling of accomplishment burst through Evan. He leapt into the air, a yip of glee escaping his throat. Today was turning out to be the best of his life so far. The woman he loved had said she loved him too and appeared be starting to make huge commitments to their relationship. To top it off, the band had completed a twelve-track album. Not just any album, but one that would surely top the charts.

  Al suddenly appeared in the recording room, his arms held out in a congratulatory stance. “By heck lads, that was a killer.”

  “Thanks, man.” Evan looked at the crinkled skin around the man’s eyes. He and Al had grown so close over the past few weeks. Al had swiftly begun to resemble the father Evan had never had in his life. They’d signed the deal for him to become their manager. It was too good a deal for them not to. According to their lawyer, the cut Al had asked for must be the smallest on record. Actions spoke louder than words, and it was obvious that Al merely longed to be a part of the band, rather than using them as some sort of moneymaking scheme.

  “Any idea what you’re calling this baby yet?” Al asked, sweeping his glance over the faces of the band members expectantly.

  Evan whipped around his head to look at Alex, his lips pursed. In a way, he could understand Alex’s hesitance at calling the album what Evan had proposed. But Evan refused to drop it. Credit had to be given where it was due.

  “No, not yet,” Alex muttered.

  Al clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “No rush for now, but if things go according to plan, I’ll need to press you for it.”

  “What’s the plan then, Al?”

  Everyone turned to look at the usually mute Jamie. The group chuckled when Al tipped his head to one side as though busily weighing up whether or not he’d heard Jamie speak before.

  “All in good time, lad. I don’t want to get you lot all riled up for no good reason, but I need to get this album sent off straight away. I’m sure I’ll have the answer I’m looking for at some point next week.” The twinkle of excitement in Al’s eyes wasn’t lost on any of them. Whatever Al had in the pipeline must be good. “You lot have a relaxing weekend, because I’ve got a feeling it will be your last one in a while.”

  Al winked before he left the room. Evan watched him appear behind the glass and take something from Ray, the two men exchanging a handshake.

  “Well, it’s been emotional.” Evan glanced around the room they’d been holed up in for months.

  The room where they’d made magic. Though their future still hung in the balance, they were more certain they were headed toward success than when they’d first stepped foot inside. Evan’s trust fund was still healthy enough for him to live off for a few years and have a great lifestyle.

  Alex’s parents were stinking rich, too. He’d never want for anything. But Jamie and Tom needed money. Evan realized that was why Jamie had asked Al what was going on.

  He glanced down at his watch. He wasn’t due at Katie’s for movie night with Jess for another four hours. By then, Helen would be long gone. It had become a Friday night ritual. Evan huffed out a hint of nervous laughter as he considered what Helen’s face would look like when Katie told her they were together.

  Jess and Evan shared a mutual adoration of each other. He recognized the invisible ties they shared. Both of their fathers had been taken from them as babies. Though she didn’t know that, and probably never would, the bond was present all the same. Only, Jess had been lucky. She had the most amazing woman in the world as a mother.

  “What’s going on inside that thick skull of yours, boy wonder?”

  “Ah, it’s nothing. Look, guys, Katie’s having a bit of a party this weekend. You’re all invited if you wanna come.”

  The looks passed around made his stomach ache. The silence sliced through him. “Unless you’re thinking of heading back home. If so, that’s cool. Let me know so I can get Al to arrange your flights.” He shrugged and ducked beneath his guitar strap to take it off and place it away. It wasn’t that he needed them to stay or anything. The end hovered close by, leaving him with a pull of regret. The time was coming where they’d all be separated to play the waiting game.

  “Look, man, if you want, we’ll wait until after the weekend. The party could be like a going home party. Are you coming back with us?” Alex had slapped a hand on Evan’s shoulder after he’d finished putting his guitar back in its case.

  He shook his head slowly, his excuse popping into his head. Heaven forbid them thinking he was totally pussy whipped. “No, someone has to stay here with Al to check in and see how things are progressing. Anyway, we should go celebrate. You guys wanna go grab a beer?”

  He expertly deflected the subject to bring their attention to their next favorite topic after the band. Alex chuckled as though he’d figured out what Evan was trying to do, but agreed all the same. They collected their stuff, each of them looking wistfully at the studio as they left. Their futures hung in the balance now.

  * * * *

  “Four bottles of Bud, please.” Evan placed his order at the bar while the others struggled to find a seat amongst the Friday afternoon drinkers, celebrating the start of the weekend. Waiting for the girl to return, he fished his wallet and phone out of his back pocket, figuring he’d text Katie and let her know of they’d finished the album.

  His eyes popped wide. He’d had fifteen missed calls from her, but no messages. There was no doubt in his mind something bad had happened. He hit the screen to call her back with shaky fingers. Balancing the phone between his shoulder and his ear, he shoved a note into the bartenders hand and waved, indicating she should keep the change. He elbowed his way through the crowd as the call went to voicemail.

  Setting the beers on the table, he hung up without leaving a message. Jamie and Tom grabbed their beers and took greedy swigs, as though they’d never had a beer before. Evan met Alex’s eyes, his brows pushed together with concern.

  “What’s up?”

  “I don’t know.” He couldn’t look at Alex while he dialed Katie’s number again. Still no answer.

  “Fuck,” he spat, lifting the beer to his lips.

  “You’re going to run off, aren’t you?” Alex’s mouth twisted into a scowl.

  “Something’s happened. She called me like fifteen times.”

  “What? You’ve never had a girl call you fifteen times, boy wonder?” Alex’s chuckle sliced through Evan’s frayed nerves. No, he hadn’t had fifteen missed calls
from Katie before.

  “Fuck you. There’s a subtle difference between the girls you fuck with and a woman. Katie’s a fucking woman.” He tipped his bottle and drained it as the other guys sucked a breath between their teeth and chuckled. “There, I’ve finished my drink. Have a good night. See you guys later.” He looked from Tom to Jamie, totally blanking Alex as he slammed the bottle on the table, snatched up his guitar and stalked out of the pub.

  Despite the early September warmth, he shuddered as he walked, dialing her again to no avail. He hailed a cab and gave the driver her address, silently praying she’d be at home. The cab rolled to a stop outside her door. He noted the narrow-eyed glance of an immaculately dressed, gray haired woman, waiting outside Katie’s house with Jessica. Helen. Nerves clutched his stomach, but he batted away the feeling and talked himself into playing it cool.

  “Evan!” Jessica squealed and ran toward his, her arms circling his legs in a hug. “I missed you. What movie are we having tonight?” Her eyes danced with excitement before he watched a wave of realization paralyze the little girl. Her innocent face had to be the cutest thing he’d ever looked at. Her loud whisper sounded about as subtle as a breezeblock. “Evan.” She shifted from one foot to the other uncomfortably. “You’re not meant to be here.”

  “And who might you be?” Helen demanded in a high-pitched, jumpy sounding voice.

  He hunkered down to Jessica’s level, nodded his head and rubbed a reassuring hand over her shoulder, steeling them both for the next step. He grabbed Jessica’s little hand. The woman’s death stare turned to Jessica’s hand in his, looking as if a leper had touched her granddaughter.

  “Hi, I’m Evan Waters, a friend of Katie’s. You must be Helen. Nice to meet you.” He grinned at the woman, revealing his teeth and offering his hand for a shake.

  “And where on earth is she?” Helen folded her arms across her chest, blatantly ignoring his offered hand. He drew it away and wiped his perspiring palm across his jeans. Gulping, he tried to maintain his poker face.

  “Your guess is as good as mine. She tried to call me a number of times, but I was working, so I missed them. Has she tried to call you?”

  “Mr. Waters, I’m far too advanced in age to carry a mobile telephone around. I didn’t receive any calls at home before I left.”

  “Okay, well, let’s get inside and find some clues as to where she might be. You know how she is. She’s always late.” He forced a laugh from his throat, immediately regretting it when he realized how fake it sounded. Helen’s lips pursed in response.

  He reached into his pocket and pulled out Katie’s door key, wincing at Helen’s judgmental raised brow. He placed his guitar case in the hallway and walked through to the living room, turning to Helen as soon as they did. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

  Her stare made his skin prickle. Too much, you prick. You’re making it look like you live here.

  “Okay, well, I’ll try to call her and find out where she’s at.” He left them in the living room, stepped back into the hallway and called her number again.

  Pick up, pick up. Nothing.

  He fast ran out of ideas. Entering that room again would be like going to a funeral…his own.

  Man the fuck up, Evan. She’s an old lady.

  He forced himself to go back in. Jessica’s worried little face did nothing to ease him. It simply made his gut clench with sorrow.

  “Hey, bunny. Don’t be sad. She’ll turn up.” He dropped to his knees to soothe her, no longer giving a flying fuck about what Helen thought. Jessica was more important.

  A sigh of relief escaped him loudly when the front door opened. Three heads turned to await her entrance. Nausea flooded him, if what he’d seen in Jessica’s face moments before had filled him with sorrow, Katie’s tear-stained face simply destroyed him.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Katie took in the three faces staring at her from her place in the doorway. A few hours earlier, this situation—Helen haphazardly bumping into Evan when she wasn’t meant to—would have been a nightmare. But nothing could possibly match what Katie had witnessed.

  “Where on earth have you been?”

  “Are you okay? What happened?”

  Helen and Evan’s voices came at her all at once and transformed into mush. She winced at the pain their words created in her head. No more questions. She couldn’t take any more. She perceived movement, but she couldn’t focus. The warmth of a small hand grabbed hers. A whoosh of sound forced her to concentrate on her daughter’s voice. “Mommy, why are you sad?”

  She looked down at Jessica’s clear blue eyes, gulping away tears through her thick throat. “I saw something unpleasant. It’s nothing for you to worry about.” Katie failed to pull off speaking without her voice wobbling.

  “Like Tommy picking his nose at break time?” Jessica screwed up her little features with disgust.

  Katie nodded. She tried to form a smile but could only managed a tight-lipped grimace.

  She wasn’t sure how much longer she’d be able to hold things together in front of Jess.

  “Do you think you can prove how big and strong you are and take your toys from Granny’s up to your room for me?” she croaked.

  Evan’s liquid voice flooded through her, taking the edge off her numbness. “Yeah, bunny, you show us that, and we can share some ice cream with the movie tonight.”

  Jess could never be accused of failing to seize an opportunity. Katie had always been proud of her child’s impressive bargaining ability. Even now, she didn’t disappoint her.

  “And popcorn?”

  Evan nodded in affirmation. “And popcorn.”

  Clearly happy with the arrangement, Jess charged for the hallway to collect her bag.

  The conversation with her daughter had sobered Katie’s thoughts. As soon as the little girl had disappeared from sight, she flicked her swollen eyes from Evan to her mother-in-law, who appeared to be waiting for her explanation. The air stiffened, and still, no words came.

  “Movie night?” Helen’s voice pitched high with incredulity. “Who is this young man, Katie?”

  All the sorrow and regret Katie had experienced that day bubbled up before exploding like a shaken bottle of champagne on a grand prix podium.

  “How fucking dare you?” she seethed, storming toward the fixation of her rage.

  “I beg you pardon.”

  “You heard me. This is all your son’s fault. He’s fucked me up forever. Fucked my life up, and if you think for a split-second that you’re going to come into my house and try to do the same, you’ve got another thing coming.” The things she’d wanted to say to Helen over the years had exploded out in a fit of rage. Her voice had ranged from angry to hysterical in a matter of seconds as she jabbed a shaky finger toward Helen’s face.

  Evan stood and placed a hand on Helen’s arm. “I think it’s probably best that you leave. I’m happy to show you out,” he said, but the two women couldn’t tear their steely gazes away from each other. Katie’s breath burned through her lungs.

  “You really think that about me? About Lee?” Helen’s voice broke as she spoke.

  Bile rose in Katie’s throat. She didn’t know what she thought. She couldn’t think straight. Blinded by grief, she searched for somewhere, anywhere, to direct her gut-wrenching heartbreak.

  Her hand flew to her mouth. The whiskey she’d shared with Mountain at the pub, intending to steady her nerves, threatened to make a reappearance. She ran as fast as her legs would carry her, making it to the kitchen sink just in time. She finished quickly, suddenly coated in a cold sweat when the harrowing image from earlier attacked her again, numbing her to the core. She heard low, guttural sobs, her body shook and she tasted salty tears.

  She didn’t know how much time had passed. She hadn’t been able to move, dizzy with the slideshow the British Army had unwittingly provided her with.

  Then a safe, secure palm landed on her back, gently rubbing between her shoulder blades. “She’s g
one. Are you done being sick?” Evan’s voice expressed his gentleness, with no judgment to it whatsoever, just concern.

  She nodded once, and another wave of nausea swept over her, but thankfully, it didn’t come to fruition.

  “I’ve done it and put them all away,” Jessica called, gleefully from the top of the stairs before the bangs of her feet sounded on them as she descended.

  Katie’s muscles bunched painfully. She couldn’t let Jessica see her like this.

  “Are you okay while I take care of her?”

  It was as if he’d read her mind. She nodded again. He patted her back and left the room.

  The visions attacked her again. The single foot that wasn’t touching the floor. The eyes filled with blood. The spilled bottle of pills. The discarded whiskey bottle. The screams of terror mingled with the words from the ambulance call taker. The image of the blond man holding her baby. The torn-up picture of the girl who’d insisted on walking down the aisle. The stumps where limbs should have been on young men. It all whirred around her mind like a ghostly carousel swinging around way too fast and out of control.

  All traces of time and thought had been lost in a cycle of years filled with grief, until Katie’s weary head leaned against Evan’s solid chest and her arms snaked intuitively around his neck as he carried her upstairs.

  His lips pressed against the top of her head before he set her down in the bathroom. He methodically removed her clothes then picked her back up to lower her into a hot bath.

  “Take your time. I’ve got your back, angel. Anything you want, just yell. I’ll be here, looking after Jess. Okay?”

  “Thank you.” It was the first time since she’d gotten home that she’d been able to speak properly, without fear of her voice cracking.

  He left wordlessly closing the door behind him. The woodsy, floral scent of the bubbles kept her calm. Her therapist had always encouraged her to face her nightmares and not try to escape them in her mind. Analyzing what Lee had done was much harder than this would be, but still as terrifying.

  She forced the images to the forefront of her mind and went over and over them again and again until the water grew chilly and her fingers had deep wrinkles. She took one deep, steadying breath through her nose then climbed out of the bath. She dried herself in her bedroom and slipped into her unsexy cotton pajamas, craving the comfort of them.