by Sarina Bowen
“I’m afraid he’ll punish his son.” Hell. I was already terrified of that.
“But what’s the alternative? You can’t just roll over. If you do nothing, you’ll end up telling a room full of people the details of your trip to Merryline. And you’ve just told me that your friend needs to stay in the closet. The best way to protect him is to shake off his father. You can’t put the genie back in the bottle. But you can shut him up.”
I dropped my head into my hands. “I’m so afraid for Cax. I wish I’d never invited him to that hotel.”
Trevor’s face was full of empathy. “You weren’t trying to get him in trouble. You were trying to keep him out of it.”
“It doesn’t matter, though. The path to hell…”
“…will be bulldozed by your lawyer,” Trevor quipped. “Now give yourself a break from worrying. I have a complaint to write.”
“Thank you,” I said, standing up. “Seriously…”
He nodded. “Please don’t communicate with anyone about this case except your boss and your immediate family. It’s especially important not to discuss it with either of the Williams men.”
“Okay,” I promised.
“We’ll work through this. Just give me time to get our counterclaim lined up.”
“I will.”
“And see what you can do about getting our team to beat Harvard next weekend.”
I shook my head. “That might be asking too much.”
He waved me off. “Fine. I’ll call you tomorrow or the next day.”
Chapter Seventeen
Cax
Three weeks without speaking to Axel. Every day felt hollow. Even if cutting off communication with him had been the safe thing to do, I was still upset about it.
And I looked for him everywhere. When I crossed the quad, my gaze landed on every guy who might be Axel. I looked for him in the grocery store and in line at the coffee shop.
I didn’t try to look for him. It’s just that I couldn’t figure out how to stop.
Sitting through Scotty’s holiday concert, I kept wondering what he was up to—whether he’d found a gay bar in Providence and whether he went home alone. It practically drove me nuts sitting there in the school auditorium, wishing I was miles away.
“Want to go out for ice cream?” I asked Scotty when the concert was over.
“Isn’t it kinda late?” he asked. That was Scotty, always clinging to the rules, hoping to stay out of trouble. Just like me.
How depressing.
“Just a quick cone,” I said, hurrying him to the car. “I need something to celebrate.”
“Okay,” he said, humoring me. “Let’s do it.”
The holidays dragged by. The graduate housing complex emptied out. Sometimes my lonely reading light seemed like the only sign of life. I did some research for my dissertation, but often found my mind wandering.
I thought it would get easier when all the students came back after New Year’s. Classes began on Monday, but, as I sat at a conference table with a new group of undergraduates, my sense of loneliness didn’t disappear. They looked about a hundred years younger than I felt.
Beginning-of-semester things got posted in the teaching assistants’ office. I did a quick scan of the intramural basketball schedule, hoping to see a game with the Athletic Department coming up soon. I found it, but it wouldn’t happen for another month.
Sigh.
I spent long hours in the library. On Tuesday night, I realized I’d been staring into space for a long time. Calling it quits, I closed the tabs on my Internet browser. On a whim, I checked my work email one more time. There was a message from the compliance department.
That was odd.
* * *
Dear Mr. Williams,
Your presence is requested next Monday at 9:00 AM in Trainor Hall for a hearing regarding charges of sexual harassment. Please reference the complaint Henry Williams Sr. v. Axel Armitage.
* * *
I read that message a dozen times, because it made no sense.
Then I thought about my father, and realized that it did.
I stood up so fast that my library chair went toppling backwards. Grabbing my coat, I marched out of the library, hurrying through the atrium. When I left the building, I did not go home. I did not go to my father’s house, because that would leave me screaming at him in front of the boys. And I did not go to a bar to drink myself silly, although that wasn’t a horrible idea.
Instead, I walked straight into College Park and onto the path to Axel’s apartment.
He must be freaking out.
God damn it! He’d come here for a job. And he’d shown me nothing but love. And now my fucking father was going to drag him down into the muck. Axel. The man I loved. My heart burned for him.
I was really fired-up by the time I made it to the end of the wooded path, reaching the stairs up to his door. When I got to the top, my knock was too urgent. And when the door swept open, I stepped inside without waiting for an invitation.
“Cax,” he said, backing up as I barged forward. “You shouldn’t be here. There’s trouble and—”
“Fuck the trouble!” I shouted. “He’s the fucking devil. I can’t take it anymore.” I stood there, chest heaving, face red from the cold and from anger.
Axel looked so uncertain, and my heart broke at the sight of his uneasy eyes. “Babe, I’m not supposed to talk…”
“Then let’s not talk.” I closed the distance between us and put my hands on his chest. But the uneasy look in his eyes did not go away. So I grabbed his shirt in two hands and kissed him.
“Ummnf,” he said, surprised. I wrapped a hand behind his neck and nipped his lower lip. I pulled him closer to me. I just had to. Enough with letting other people rule my life. For years I’d tried to conform to my father’s stupid rules, and it was nothing but a disaster.
Enough.
“Axel,” I demanded, my lips against his mouth. “Kiss me.”
He sighed, and my heart froze with fear. Was it already too late? Who would want a guy who had as much baggage as I did?
But then Axel’s mouth softened under mine. His hands gripped my waist, and he kissed me gently. Another sigh slipped from his chest, and he gave in.
I was still too revved up by a thousand raw emotions to be gentle. I forced my tongue into his mouth, laving it against his. He groaned in reply, deepening the kiss. And then we were on the move. Axel nudged me toward the bed. I went, trying not to stumble over my feet. Between kisses, he nudged me again, and it wasn’t gentle. Eager hands pushed me until my ass hit the bed. My coat was yanked roughly from my shoulders and thrown on the floor.
Now we were on exactly the same page. His kisses were just as urgent as mine, probably because he understood. It was now or never for us. The future was getting uglier by the minute. His job was in peril. My life was teetering on a cliff.
Here in Axel’s apartment, there was only the present moment. And Axel was making quick work of the buttons on my shirt.
I kicked off my shoes. Then I grabbed the waistband of his pants and popped the button. I’d never done this before—just reached out to take what I wanted. It felt so fucking freeing to go where my heart led me. And when I unzipped him and then slipped my hand into his fly, there was a nice, thick cock waiting for me. I gave it a firm stroke and he hardened in my hand.
“Fuck,” Axel choked out. The sound of his arousal lit me up. Too much time had been wasted waiting for life to get better. I yanked his trousers down his hips, and they fell away like I needed them to. After he kicked them away, he grabbed his shirt, tugging it over his head. The hot, determined look on his face was everything I’d ever wanted.
After shedding my shirt, I shucked my jeans and underwear, then kicked off my socks. I was completely naked on Axel’s bed. He stood above me, a hungry look on his face. “Come here,” I ordered. I lay back and parted my legs. It felt like the dirtiest thing I’d ever done, but it was exactly what I needed right now. I needed him to fuck me.
And I needed to never, ever think.
Axel climbed onto the bed on his hands and knees. He was still wearing his briefs, so I reached up and tugged the waistband away from his beautiful skin. I plunged my hand inside and curved my hand around his cock.
He hissed, and the sound was beautiful to me. Then he shed his briefs and maneuvered his body the other way on the bed, so he was facing my toes. He dropped his face down to my groin and took the head of my dick in his mouth.
I gave a full body shudder. God, it felt so good. I reached between his legs, sifting my fingers through the soft hair of his inner thighs before cupping his balls in my hand.
He hissed again and I felt myself get even harder in his mouth. My hips twitched with yearning, and I was mad with want. I wanted to suck and fuck and rub off on him all at once. He dropped his head between my legs and I let out a bellow that could probably be heard for miles. Axel was sucking my balls, one at a time. “Turn over,” he rasped.
Without hesitation I rolled onto my stomach. Axel moved, reorienting himself on the bed. Warm fingers tried to spread me. Then he grasped my hips and tugged. “On your knees.”
I lifted my ass, and then his mouth was back, teasing my taint with his tongue. “Oh Jesus,” I gasped as a warm, wet tongue probed me. “Fuck me,” I begged. “Please.”
He placed a soft kiss on my inner thigh. “I plan to.” He gave my ass a slap. “Spread for me.”
I did. He disappeared for a moment, leaving me there, ass in the air, completely vulnerable.
And I loved it. This was exactly where I’d always needed to go. Finally.
A moment later I heard the sound of a lube bottle opening. Then Axel’s hard body was behind me, his slicked-up fingers rubbing into my crease.
I took a deep breath and focused on relaxing. When he eased a finger inside me, I was ready. I pushed back against him, reaching for it. “More,” I demanded.
Axel leaned down to kiss my back. “Got to take it slow,” he murmured.
“Fuck slow. Been waiting too long for this.”
I received another kiss on my spine. “Let me work you open. Then I’ll give you the pounding you deserve.”
Groaning, I dropped my elbows onto the bed. I felt a second finger press in to meet the first. There was a burn, but it was a burn that I wanted. “Yeah,” I panted. My hips rocked back onto his hand. I was woozy with adrenaline and desire. He played with me while I panted, waiting.
My whole life I’d craved this—Axel’s hands on my body. Axel owning me. All the anger I’d brought here with me today had morphed into desire. I was vibrating with need and desperation, pressing into him, fucking myself on his hand. “Please,” I sobbed.
“Soon,” he whispered.
All I could do was drop my face into the bedspread and moan. Fuck soon. I was done with soon.
Finally, I heard the crinkle of a condom wrapper and the snap of the lube bottle again. “Ready, baby?” I felt the press of a nice hard dick against my hole.
With a deep groan I pushed back against him. For one awful moment I thought it wasn’t going to work. And then my muscles relented and let him in.
Axel moaned as he sank inside. I was suddenly so full of him. I needed to close my eyes to adjust to the sensation.
Behind me, Axel took a slow breath and let it out. “You okay?” he asked.
I nodded because I was. But I was also overwhelmed. I’d been waiting years for this. My eyes were damp from the flood of emotion. Axel. Finally. Yes…
He rocked gently. “I’m going to move. You tell me if I hurt you, or if you find something you like.”
Again, I nodded. Axel withdrew a little ways then pushed back inside. It was such a foreign sensation that I found myself holding my breath.
He ran a hand down my flank, gentle fingers almost tickling my ribs. “Breathe, honey. Relax for me. I need you loose. You are so fucking sexy.” He pulled his hips back and then pushed forward all at once. “Mmm. Love fucking you.”
The dirty talk was just what I needed. I spread my legs a little farther apart, opening myself to him. “Take me,” I begged.
“I’ve got you. You’re all mine now. Actually, turn over.” He pulled all the way out.
“What? Why?”
He slapped my ass. “On your back. I need to see your face while I fuck you.”
I flipped over, and then Axel lifted first one of my legs and then the other onto his shoulders. It was a strange position, yet I really loved the view—Axel smiling down on me. “Do it,” I gasped.
His eyelids went half-mast as he pushed inside. “Oh, fuck. So good. So tight.”
I adjusted my hips and took in the beautiful sight above me. Axel’s sixpack tensed as he slowly fucked me. He breathed deeply through several thrusts. Then he began to move faster.
That’s when it started. He shifted his stance a little bit, and my limbs began to tingle and burn. “Ahh…” I moaned.
“You like that?” He snapped his hips, canting them upward.
Someone shouted, and it was me.
“That’s right,” he panted. “I’m going to pound that spot, and you’re going to come so hard.”
I was moaning now. Each thrust made me feel lightheaded. Something was building, and it wasn’t like anything I’d felt before. I reached one shaking hand up to Axel’s face, and he kissed it. Then he picked up the pace. “Love fucking you, baby. Touch yourself for me.”
He moved my shaky hand onto my dick, encouraging me to stroke, but I was so busy being overtaken by the peculiar, whole-body arousal that I didn’t put much effort into it.
Above me, Axel chuckled. Knocking my hand away, he began stroking my cock while he thrust. “I’m close, Caxy.” He tightened his jaw, and I saw the strain in his neck as he tried to hold himself together.
He was so beautiful. And at least for this moment, he was all mine. My balls began to tighten, and I floated on the beauty of it all.
“Come for me, baby,” he gritted out. With a grunt he gave me another big thrust, and I felt my arousal spill over in a wave of naked pleasure. I pushed my useless body against the bed and gasped. “Fuck, yeah,” he panted. “Oh, fuck. Cax…”
In the distance I heard him grunting through his climax. But I was somewhere else. Everything went dim for a few moments.
When I came back into my body, Axel was kissing my jaw. “Baby,” he whispered. “You okay?”
“Yessss,” I sighed. “That was…” Trying to describe it wasn’t going to get me anywhere. “So crazy. Outrageous.”
“Did you like it?”
“Hell yes.” There was only a small pool of jizz on my stomach. “Weird—I didn’t come very much.”
He kissed my shoulder. “Prostate orgasms are a whole different species. Some people don’t even stay hard when they come.”
“I don’t think I can move my limbs,” I whispered.
“Then don’t.”
I closed my eyes. Axel moved about the room, but I wasn’t concerned with why. A minute later a warm, damp cloth was used to wipe off my belly. And a while after that, gentle hands eased the covers down, encouraging me to move just enough to get underneath. I made room for Axel in his own bed.
“Mmm,” I said when warm arms curled me close to him.
“That was perfect,” he breathed in my ear.
“Yes,” I agreed, almost too tired to speak. “Thought it would never happen. Thought it was over.”
“With the way I feel about you? It’s never over,” he said with a sigh.
“Love you,” I ground out. Then I let him hold me while I fell all the way to sleep.
Chapter Eighteen
Axel
I woke up tangled in Cax. It was so nice to have him in my bed that when my alarm went off, I chose not to move after shutting it off. I was going to be late to work today.
Fuck it.
After a while, Cax turned away from me, burying his face in the pillow. He was probably too warm, but I didn’t want to stop touc
hing him. So I traced his smooth back with my fingertips, and when I reached his waist, he shivered.
This was really all that I’d ever wanted. Cax in my bed, naked.
I placed my lips on his neck and kissed him. Nibbled him. Sucked on his skin. And all the while I let my hand drift lazily down his body and then over his hip. He groaned when I found a hard dick pointing straight up against his belly. I started stroking him slowly, but he rolled to face me.
“Good morning,” I whispered.
“Oh, yes it is,” he returned. Then he leaned in to kiss me.
So much for slow and lazy. A few seconds later we were making out like frantic people. He rolled on top of me, his hips riding mine. His tongue was so deep in my mouth that I didn’t know where he ended and I began.
I grabbed his ass and squeezed. Cax moaned loudly. “Ax, unless you tell me not to, I am going to come incredibly soon.”
“Do it,” I encouraged.
But he rose up on all fours instead, and a second later, he slid my cock into his mouth. “Fuck, baby,” I moaned. My hips rolled, because I could not stay still. He tongued me, his kisses wet and sloppy. Heaven. And then he opened wide and gave me one good, hard suck. “Oh, damn. I’m close.”
Releasing me, Cax moved up the bed to lay beside me. I rolled to face him, taking his mouth in a deep kiss. Our hands tangled as we each grabbed the other’s cocks, Cax’s fingers beginning to slide up and down my shaft. I pumped into his hand, and he did the same into mine. I gave him one more kiss and then pulled back to watch his face.
His eyes were dark and heavy with lust. “Love you,” he mouthed. Then his lips parted on a moan, and he began to shoot in my hand. I followed him a second later, coming all over us while staring into his eyes.
We were left panting and sated—a sticky pile of limbs and damp skin and kiss-swollen mouths. I levered myself up on an elbow, then leaned down to give him a single, soft kiss on the lips. Then I collapsed again.
It was several minutes before either of us spoke. “We need a shower,” I said finally.
