To Save A Bear

by Emilia Hartley

  “Is it because I’m human?” She used her grip on his hair to make him look at her. “Are you afraid of breaking me? That I’ll get hurt?”

  He didn’t answer. The twist of his lips, as if pain wracked his body, was answer enough.

  She sighed, her head falling back against the floor they still lay on. There was no way to fix this that Addison would be happy with. She wasn’t strong enough to be like them. A part of her feared that she would crumple under the power of it and become someone she didn’t know.

  Yet, she remembered what it felt like to have that man’s hand wrap around her arm and know that she couldn’t fight him off. There was a weakness in the memory that haunted her. Once it floated to the surface, she found her aha moment.

  “The man, the human that keeps hounding you,” Addison said. “That’s what’s bothering you. Isn’t it?”

  “Stay out of my head, witch.” He moaned into her bare skin.

  “You don’t need to protect me from your own thoughts. You can talk to me.” She wished he would tell her more things. Playing detective every time her mate was hurting slowly exhausted her.

  Why were men so against speaking about their feelings? It would have saved him a ton of stress and it wasn’t like they weren’t going to have sex anyway.

  “You don’t need to worry about every little thought that goes through my mind.” His voice was final. He began pulling away from her, but she held on tight. He gave her a disgruntled look. “Woman.”

  The corners of her mouth quirked with a smile. “No. Talk to me. I let you put your dick inside me. The least you can do is tell me what you’re thinking.”

  He groaned again. It was very much like pulling teeth. “Weren’t the multiple orgasms fair trade?”

  She pretended to think about it for a minute. “Nope.”

  “That’s not exactly fair.”

  “I don’t play fair.” She pulled him down for a kiss. He lingered on her lips and she savored the taste of him. It was better than the first sip of coffee. “Talk to me, Reid. Tell me what’s bothering you, so I can help.”

  Despite everything she did to hang on to him, Reid managed to escape her grasp. He padded away from her, turning so that she could see nothing but his back. She reached for his forgotten shirt and pulled it over her head.

  It seemed Reid wasn’t going to give in to her, birthing a crackly ball of anxiety in her chest. If he was going to keep pushing her away like that, she didn’t know how long she would be able to take it. As much as she wanted to be the place where his worries melted away, she would only become more frazzled the longer he stayed quiet. She couldn’t take him coming home to lie with her and walk away. His silence only made the ball of anxiety pricklier.

  Her lungs became tight. She knew what was coming as her pulse raced. It had been a long time since she’d had a panic attack. Her breath came shallow. Her hands trembled. Her mind couldn’t fixate on any one thing.

  One day, Reid would come home and not even sex would soothe him. He would fall over that edge Emmy warned her about and there was nothing she could do.

  Her shoulders shook. She couldn’t breathe. Her heart was about to burst. While Addison knew it was a panic attack, she still felt like death was knocking on her door. There was nothing she could do to fight it off. She was too weak. She was too useless.

  The worst part was that she couldn’t find her voice to call out to Reid. She sat, watching his back, while this panic ripped through her body. Even now, she couldn’t figure out how to close whatever distance yawned between them.

  She gasped, trying to gulp down air her lungs couldn’t take. Her chest was too tight. Her heart was moments away from failing her.

  Reid turned around. His eyes widened at the sight of her on the floor. Without hesitation, he dropped to his knees. Wide eyes searched her for the source of her pain, but Addison shook her head. She pressed her knuckles to her breastbone. It was there. The pain that tore her apart.

  All Reid could do was gather her into his arms and hold her. His warmth slowly seeped into her. It eased all the things that had grown tight. Finally, Addison sucked in a deep breath. The pressure on her cheeks faded and a new ache blossomed. She gripped him, nails digging in.

  “What was that?” Reid asked, his face pressed into her hair.

  “Panic…attack.” Her chest rose and fell with each breath, shuddering as she learned to breathe all over again.

  “You didn’t tell me you had those.”

  Because she didn’t want him to know exactly how weak she was. Her body and mind warred, and it tore her apart in the process. Now that he knew how weak his mate was, she feared he wouldn’t want her. She couldn’t even remain in one piece when left on her own. She would inevitably fall into a million little pieces, blown apart by her own mind.

  Writing had helped her for a while. She’d managed to pour her emotions and fears onto the page, resolving the many scenarios her mind made up with characters in her head. This was different. Reid meant so much to her, but she’d jumped head first into a world she didn’t understand.

  “And you won’t tell me what’s bothering you. I think we’re even.” Even though her words were laced with spite, she still held onto him.

  Reid was quiet for a long time. He held her, his head resting atop hers. The touch was comforting and, slowly, all traces of the panic attack faded. He was like an antidote for her. As much as she wanted to savor it, she could still feel the static of his silence.

  They hadn’t seen the human man for days. Addison held onto the hope that he’d simply gotten discouraged and left. He was no match for Reid anyway. Her mate didn’t have to worry about him anymore. But, she remembered the way the human man had held onto her. She recalled how he’d tried to pry information from her.

  There was a possibility that the human man was only lying low. Since his cameras had been destroyed, he was probably formulating a new plan. She shuddered when she thought about it. Reid tightened his grip on her as if trying to warm her.

  “I trust you to keep me safe,” she whispered.

  Silence filled the room. Slowly, she became aware of Reid trembling around her. She twisted in his arms to look at him. He refused to let her see. She could feel his muscles bunching beneath her in an effort to hide the tremble. She’d already caught it. She already knew.

  “This isn’t going to work if you treat me like glass. You can’t hide me away here and worry about me every moment of your life. It will tear us both up from the inside out.”

  The truth was hard to say. She didn’t want to add that kind of frustration to her already troubled relationship. It wasn’t like she thought he was going to leave her. If anything, Addison knew Reid would forever be hers. If anything, she feared what would fester between them if they didn’t clear the air.

  But when she opened her mouth to ask, the words tangled in her throat. They stopped her breath and brought the creeping feeling of another panic attack. Her skin tightened, but the sensation of Reid’s rough thumbs on her arms brought her back.

  Once more she tried. The words made it to her tongue, however haltingly. “Am I enough? As human and weak as I am, will I be enough for you?”

  Reid startled. He leaned back, brows high and eyes wide. “Addison. Why would you think something like that?”

  He hadn’t answered her question. Her heart crumpled. It was true; she would always be the weak link in their relationship. As a human, particularly one with such awful anxiety, Addison would be Reid’s weakness. It would get him killed someday.

  The life they led as shifters—that was what Reid had called it—constantly brought trouble to their doorsteps. He’d told her it was why their group moved from job to job. It was why they lived apart from whichever town was nearby.

  No matter what Addison did, she would be the weak point.

  “Hey,” Reid whispered as he gently squeezed her. “I don’t know what you’re going on about because you’re one of the strongest people I know. You constantly
battle anxiety, which is one hell of an ugly monster, and overcome it. I think it was you that got us out of the situation with the hunter in town, too. Your quick thinking is going to be what makes us stronger.”

  Addison threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. She breathed deep, taking in his scent and how it mingled with hers. This was home. Reid was her home.

  “Do you promise you aren’t lying?”

  Reid chuckled. His warm hands rose along her back. He anchored her and made her feel strong. Even if her body was weak, she was smart. Those words empowered her. They bolstered the parts of her that felt as though they were crumbling.

  Was that what she did for him? Did she strengthen his grip on his beast? She hoped it worked a bit differently. They deserved to understand each other, to work in unison. The fight for power was exhausting, she knew from her struggles with her own mind. She let her hand run along the hair growing on Reid’s cheek, the light catching the multi-colored strands and becoming copper or bronze or gold.

  “I promise. I would never lie to you.”

  “Let’s put some clothes on and do something to distract ourselves.”

  Reid laughed. “I think that would involve taking our clothes off.”

  Her core tightened. Her body was ready again, aching for more of Reid’s touch. But, her stomach grumbled to remind her that she also needed to eat. She pulled away from Reid’s grip and set about making them dinner while he went to get dressed. Addison didn’t give up his shirt, instead tying a knot in the front of it so that it hugged her form. Reid’s scent bloomed from it as she did so and surrounded her with his warmth.

  They went out to the shed, food in hand, where Reid worked on the bookshelf while she revised more of her manuscript with a red pen. After a while, they forgot about their tasks and lost themselves in one another again. After that, the smell of fresh cut wood would stir attraction in Addison for a long while.

  Chapter Twenty

  Reid knew the hunter wasn’t going to stop. He had a feeling he knew what the man wanted. A man like that wasn’t going to give up on getting this from him. It had little to do with Addison. She was only a weakness in Reid’s armor.

  If the human hunter came anywhere near her again, Reid was likely to lose control. It could risk both of them. If he couldn’t temper his beast, if he risked her safety and the hunter killed her, then everything was over.

  All because the hunter wanted to be like them.

  It was a dangerous combination, Reid realized. Giving a man like that the strength and instincts of a shifter would only feed the predatorial hunger that lived inside a man like that. He would become a relentless hunter, preying on everything weaker than him.

  They already knew he killed people for money. That was why he’d come to town in the first place, to kill Boomer at Hayden’s request. Reid shuddered imagining all the ways he would be able to kill people if he gave the man what he wanted.

  That left only one option for Reid. He could no longer let the threat hang over his head. Reid had to be more proactive about this hunt. He’d been prowling in search of the hunter for days, but now, he was going to take the fight to the human.

  He didn’t tell Addison where he was going. He said he would never lie to her, and he wouldn’t, but she didn’t need to know what he was doing. Her mind would tear her apart while he was away from her. He would save her the trouble.

  The bear padded down the side of the mountain, eager to dig its claws into something more than just dirt. In his mind, he worked over all the ways he would draw out the hunter. It felt like the man was never far behind, him or Addison. Reid knew that when he arrived in town, the hunter would show himself. He only needed to find a place to take him where no one would see them.

  No one would miss the human hunter. Reid would rid this world of a dangerous man once and for all.

  Addison woke with a start. She leapt out of bed, her head spinning. Something had woken her, but she couldn’t figure out what. Silent alarms went off in her head. As she looked around the room, nothing jumped out at her. There was no one lurking in the shadows, no monsters under the bed.

  For a moment, she focused on her breathing and willed her heart to steady itself. Still, the panicked feeling of being watched never subsided. She called out for her mate, but no answer came.

  Where had he gone?

  She quickly dressed and rushed out into the living room. There was no sign of Reid, no note left behind to tell her where he might have gone. Nervous, she slipped on a pair of sneakers and ventured outside, thinking he was back in the shed. The bookshelf still wasn’t finished. Maybe he wanted to get a head start on it.

  Though, in their days together, Reid had never gotten out of bed earlier than was absolutely necessary. He’d even arrived to work late a couple of days because they lingered in bed a bit too long.

  Her stomach dropped when she opened the door to the shed and Reid wasn’t there. When she turned, she saw that the truck was still in the driveway, beside her beat up junker of a car.

  She’d assumed he’d been spending long days at work, helping the crew clear the last of the space for the coming resort. He hadn’t explicitly told her, but assuming that when he came home late was easier than unraveling any other reason. Now, her mind poked and prodded at the memories.

  Something wasn’t right. There was a hole and, as she worked, it stretched to reveal a fraction of the truth. They had both been worrying about the hunter for days. It was clear the man wanted something from Reid. Addison had been hopeful, assuming the man had moved on to bother someone else. It wasn’t that she wanted someone else to suffer, just that she’d wanted peace and quiet to explore the bond between her and her mate.

  Now, Addison cursed and kicked the shed door.

  Her mate had been out searching for the hunter this whole time. He hadn’t told her to protect her, but now that she knew her mind would not stop whispering worst-case scenarios. She imagined her mate, tied up like a circus bear. She imagined him skinned, like a bear-skin rug.

  Her stomach churned.

  There was a rustle of leaves to her right. She paused to listen, to make sure it wasn’t the wind in the trees. The air was dead and unmoving, but she heard the rustle again. This time, she spun out of the shed and stomped in the direction of the sound. Anger spurred her.

  Reid could have trusted her. He could have told her what he was doing.

  She could have helped.

  Addison crashed through the woods, stomping the whole way. “You idiot bear! Show your face right now.”

  She didn’t see a bear. She didn’t see anything more than trees and leaves. She’d been absolutely sure that the rustle had been Reid, but now that she was there, doubt crept in. Her steps slowed, and her heart thumped.

  Addison was about to turn around when something gave away beneath her foot. Everything that followed seemed to happen in slow motion. She looked down and saw the metal teeth rising from the leaves. A scream filled her mouth and she lurched to get away. Too slow, the teeth clamped down on her leg.

  Metal sliced through skin and flesh. She swore she felt it graze bone. Pain flared through her. It burned up her leg and filled her stomach until she bent to vomit.

  Once her stomach was empty, Addison tried to steady herself and take stock of her situation. Her leg was definitely stuck in bear trap. There was no denying it, though she did question who would place a bear trap here. Quickly, she corrected herself. She knew who would do such a thing.

  The human hunter, the same man who’d confronted her at the café and followed her out of the bar. Addison knew she wasn’t the intended target for the trap, though she wasn’t grateful to have saved Reid the trouble. Blood soaked her pantleg. It became heavy and sticky around her leg.

  She was bleeding far too much, far too fast. She wished Emmy were there. Alone in the woods, panic was starting to grip her. If she let it take her, then her heart would pump faster, and she’d only lose more blood. Addison had to
stave off the panic long enough to figure out how to get help.

  Reid once told her to scream. If she screamed, he would hear her no matter where he was. Addison knew it wasn’t some bond they had. It was his heightened hearing. Even if he wasn’t nearby, the others were somewhere in these mountains. Addison sucked in a deep breath, preparing to scream.

  Her head spun, and she heard another crackle of twigs and leaves. The scream deflated in her mouth as she turned to look. Hopes soaring, they quickly plummeted. The face that appeared was not what she’d wanted to see.

  The human grinned. His gaze flicked from her foot stuck in the trap to her face. She was sure her skin had to be pasty white. Her head would not stop spinning. The world tilted back and forth around her. She had to scream.

  Addison refused to be trapped here with him.

  “Go ahead,” he purred. “Call them. I’ll wait.”

  His words had her swallowing the breath she’d sucked in. This was what he wanted. He wanted her to bring a shifter to him. Then, while she slowly sank into unconsciousness, he would be free to do whatever it was he wanted.

  Addison should have trusted the shifters to protect themselves, but she refused to lead them into any kind of danger. No matter how bad her leg hurt, she pressed her lips shut in defiance.

  “You weren’t the quarry I had in mind when I set that trap, but you could prove useful. If that man of yours ever returns, I’m sure he’ll be glad to trade with me. You for whatever powers he’s hoarding to himself.”

  She couldn’t keep her jaw from dropping in disgust. “You want him to change you?” Quickly, she turned the table. “What makes you think that’s possible? Don’t you think he would have done that to me if he could?”

  The man’s grin faltered. She’d planted the seed of doubt in his mind. Strength was leaving her, making her body feel heavy. All she wanted to do was lay down in the leaves. Her eyelids drooped. Addison knew she should hold onto consciousness, but the pull of darkness was too strong.

  No. She dug her nails into her palms. If she died here, Reid would lose control of his beast. She refused to hurt him by dying here. Addison stubbornly clung to life, leaning against the nearby tree while her lifeforce leaked from her leg.