Touch Screen: a small town romance

by L. B. Dunbar

  “I’m sorry. I was crazy jealous. I am crazy jealous.”

  Her breathing was ragged and heavy.

  “Not that there’s anything for you to be jealous about, but you can be jealous like that with me anytime,” she bit her lip and giggled.

  “I’m teasing,” she tried to cover for herself.

  “I’m not,” I said against her mouth as I kissed her once more, gently this time, before pointing with an open hand for her to lead us back into the yard.

  Britton quietly apologized to Emily as she blushed heavily, but Emily waved her hand to wipe it all away. The two women began watching Katie and Gee run around the fairytale playhouse. Katie had a pink tutu around her waist and a pink fuzzy crown on her head, while Gee had a sword and a shield made of some kind of soft material. I watched the two running around for a few minutes before entering the house to find Jess in the overly yellow kitchen.

  “What was that all about?” Jess eyed me.

  “Jealousy, and being an idiot,” I said.

  “Why?”

  “I think an old friend got her pregnant.”

  “Who?”

  “Reese Stover. Remember him from my travel team?”

  “Reese Stov… He’s gay, isn’t he? I don’t think that’s possible.”

  “Anything is possible. Trust me, I live in California.”

  “It wasn’t him,” Jess said. “It was July.” He looked pointedly at me, his jaw clenching visibly.

  “I get it.”

  Jess continued to stare at me. He was searching my face for something and waiting. When I didn’t say anything further, he took a drink of his beer as he mumbled, “If that’s what you say.” I didn’t bother responding.

  We returned outside to find Gee in a dramatic show of fighting the air with his sword, and Katie lying on the ground with her eyes closed. Gee made an enthusiastic jab then announced the dragon was dead and the spell of silence was broken. Katie rose up and took her fuzzy pink crown off, placing it on Gee’s head.

  “Now he’s a princess,” I whispered too loudly.

  “No, silly,” Gee said, “I’m the king. I was a knight, but I slayed the dragon, and freed the princess. Now, I’m the king because I was her hero.”

  Britton and Emily applauded as if they had been watching a stage production, and I finished another beer. I wanted to be someone’s hero, slaying dragons and breaking spells of silence. I looked over at Britton.

  Eventually I offered to drive Britton home, but she refused. She’d noticed how much I’d had to drink, and I admitted to myself that I’d probably had too much. I was worked up, and the alcohol was only adding to it. Plus the kiss on the side of the house had me rocking a hard-on for most of the night that I had to keep discretely adjusting whenever I thought of her biting my lip. I wanted her, and I wanted her now, but I knew she would never give in in my current condition. I didn’t want her like that anyway. Another memory slipped into my mind.

  Scene: Another bonfire

  She was sixteen; I was eighteen.

  That seemed to be the summer of many issues for us. I wanted her badly, and as much as I tried not to push, my patience only went so far. I could have any girl I desired and I gave one up knowing Britton was returning. Sacrificing my prom date hadn’t been that big of a setback, but I still let her go for Britton.

  On another night by the beach, I was wound up and I had been drinking heavily. A different bonfire was blazing, and those gathered included Reese Stover, Caleb Walker, and me, each with our girls. Caleb was older and hadn’t left the area despite his California dreaming. He loved to surf and have water adventures, but he didn’t go away for those things. He found them in Michigan. He surfed Lake Michigan on the west side of the state, off the dunes, and he parasailed, windsurfed, and kite-boarded. He was also a good source for drugs, and I had started to experiment in my junior year. I thought I was preparing myself for my Californian lifestyle by trying any substance. The problem with any drug or alcohol is there is always a down from that up.

  My dad had been tough that year, and I liked the euphoric feeling being high gave me. On that day, I’d had a fight with my dad earlier. My sister was being her occasional bitch. Ethan had gotten caught sneaking out of the house, but hadn’t gotten grounded. I was sick of them all, and practically counting the minutes until graduation. Britton was quiet and I was wound up.

  “Whoa, dude. Slow down,” Reese said when I suggested something harder. I chuckled and turned to Britton to find her sitting at the opposite end of the log. She stared at me, as if she didn’t know me.

  “Try it,” I called as I waved the joint at her, knowing she wouldn’t. I didn’t know why I was taunting her. I respected her for refusing to smoke. She had her reasons for not doing it, but that seemed to make me bitter that night. She didn’t do anything, I thought, but that wasn’t really true. She might not have had sex with me, but she could work me up and release me with her creative hands and tongue. I just wanted to be closer to her. She made me feel incredible. I wanted to share everything with her.

  Britton surprised us all, though. She stood up, took the joint, and after a quick hit, threw the remainder in the fire. She exhaled on a cough and turned to walk away.

  “What the fuck was that?” Caleb cursed as the last of the night’s supply went up in flames, literally. It was Reese who followed after Britton. My jealousy raged that night, and I ran after both of them.

  “Hey,” I grabbed her arms. “Hey, look at me. Me,” I pleaded.

  “You’re so stoned, dude. Leave her the fuck alone.” Reese spoke in Britton’s defense.

  “Fuck off, Reese. Get away from her.”

  “Gavin,” she said in that voice that could melt me. I slid my hand down her arm to her wrist and yanked her to me, pressing her against my chest. I kissed her hard, and she kissed me back for a moment, but stopped. She pulled back, and I couldn’t think of a single time that she had ever pulled away from me. She always leaned into me.

  “Stop it, Gavin.” Her blue eyes grew watery as she searched my face. I had only seen her cry twice: when she left at fifteen, and when I flirted with the girl earlier in the summer. She was about to cry again, though.

  “Hey, don’t cry. I’m okay,” I said softly, sweetly.

  “No, no you’re not.” She blinked back the tears.

  “We’re having fun. That’s all.”

  “This isn’t fun, Gavin. Not like this.” She pulled her wrists free from my grasp and walked into the darkness. I knew I had two choices: let her walk unprotected alone through the dark, or follow her to make sure she was safe.

  Instead of being her hero, I let her go alone.

  * * *

  Take 28

  Under the Moonlight

  I woke with a terrible headache the next morning. I’d definitely had too much to drink the night before and needed a coffee, desperately. I hoped a run would sweat it out of me, but once I began my legs felt leaden. I couldn’t find my groove. I cursed as I lightly jogged the new path I had been following down the drive, over the edge of the north orchard, and across the highway west to the barn. Being at the barn brought me strange comfort, even though I had only rare occasions to be here as a teenager. I thought of Britton often as I worked on plans for Jess and Emily’s wedding, especially after hearing her description of her own dream wedding under the moonlight.

  She laughed it off, and yet I could envision her happy and glowing with love for someone. She would be wearing white, looking like a mythical creature with her bleach-blonde hair blowing in the night breeze. A thin piece like a crown would grace her head and a long veil would hang behind her. Her dress would be simple like her, almost medieval in nature, and her feet might be bare, digging into the sand as she stood facing a man. A man who held her hands as if he would hold onto her and protect her all the days of his life. I couldn’t see the face of the man, but I hated whoever he was because he would have Britton for the rest of her life, as well as Gee.

  I kept
screwing up with her, and I knew it. I didn’t know what I wanted, and it led me to act irrationally. I didn’t think I could be the man she needed. I couldn’t be a hero for her or Gee. I couldn’t stay here, and the reality hit me that I only had a few more days before I returned to my life in California. I had some making up to do and the time was slipping by.

  That evening I took my chances and arrived at her home with a pizza, a bottle of her favorite local wine, and a handful of sunflowers. A huge sunflower field surrounded the highway heading north on US 31. The sight was something to behold as the flowers opened bright yellow, following the sun throughout the day, only to bend their heavy heads and close their brightness at night. I remembered another time with Britton in that very field. We had pulled over and I’d taken a mini-film of her next to the large flowers. I wondered again, where my old camcorder was.

  The flowers in my hand were much smaller than those on the roadside farm, and my hand was sweating with nerves as I waited for her to answer the door. I assumed she would be home since she had to work during the day. She’d told me she didn’t have any plans for later.

  I’d simply texted her this morning with a brief: Good morning. Have a good day, before suffering through the rest of my hangover. I had to apologize for my behavior and I had to do it in person. When the door opened, I smiled nervously but saw only Ben standing in the doorway.

  “Mr. Scott, for me? You shouldn’t have,” he smirked and raised one eyebrow.

  “Funny, smart ass. Is Britton home?”

  “Not yet. She sometimes takes Gee to the park after work.”

  “Mind if I wait?”

  “I’m not allowed to have people in the house when she isn’t home,” Ben said again, raising two eyebrows this time.

  “Hilarious. I’ll wait out here. I’d give you the pizza, but you probably shouldn’t accept food from a stranger, either.” I set the square box on the bench outside the front door.

  “Good one, Mr. Scott,” the teenager laughed.

  “Gavin, please. You’re making me feel old.”

  “Well…” Ben paused.

  “You might be pushing it now, kid,” I smiled.

  “I’m just kidding you.” He paused for a moment and leaned on the doorjamb. “Have you seen Madison lately?”

  “Actually, no, I haven’t.” I had to be honest. I hadn’t spent time with Karyn’s family like I’d spent with Jess and Emily, or Britton and Gee.

  “Oh,” Ben replied, nodding.

  “How’d you meet her, anyway?” I asked.

  “At the Hutchinson’s party last week.”

  “Huh. Think she’s pretty?”

  “Definitely,” Ben replied quickly, before realizing that he was talking to her uncle.

  “Hard to see each other when you’re miles away.” It was a fact I knew all too well.

  “Well, I was hoping to see her more, but I can’t drive yet, and Britton keeps going to Elk Rapids without me.”

  I thought for a moment.

  “Summertime madness, isn’t it? You find someone you really like, but it’s hard to get together when you’re young.”

  “Yeah, well, that’s my excuse. I’m fifteen. What’s yours?” Ben stopped himself. “I’m sorry, that was out of line.”

  I pinched my eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t think I should say,” Ben hesitated. He looked suddenly nervous.

  “I asked you. You can tell me.”

  “Well, fifteen is my excuse. But you like my aunt, right? And you have a history with her, so I don’t understand what holds you back from seeing her more often. I mean, you’re old enough to do what you want, right?”

  “Yes. And I’m here now, so I still don’t get it.”

  “Well, if you have the history with her, and you liked her before, where have you been?”

  “California.” I pinched my eyebrows again. I wasn’t following.

  “No, I mean where have you been?” Ben had to say the words slowly, and the dawning came to me. Where had I been? Why hadn’t I been here to see her again sooner if I liked her so much in the past? Why hadn’t I made contact with her? Life. That’s why, I thought. Life, for me, was where I lived now, not where I’d been in the past.

  I didn’t need to explain myself, though, because Britton and Gee pulled up in her car and parked on the backside of the house. She didn’t have a garage, and I realized that winters must be tough for her. The snow fell heavily here and being on the lake made the effect worse at times. With no protection for her car, I imagined there were days she could be trapped here.

  “You need a garage,” I blurted as she approached.

  She blinked at me. “What?”

  “A garage. Why don’t you have one?”

  “It fell down. I couldn’t afford a new one yet.” She stared at me, puzzled.

  “He brought you flowers and food,” Ben interjected.

  This was a strange conversation to have with her and I held up the flowers that had now turned my hand green from gripping them so tightly.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I ran my free hand through my hair and looked up at the sky. The sun was sinking, but it wasn’t nightfall yet. The days were growing shorter already and a hint of fall lingered in the early evening air. It would be cool tonight.

  “Pizza,” Gee screamed with glee and ran for the box. “Thanks, Gavin.”

  “See, he calls me Gavin,” I said as I turned to Ben.

  “He’s only six,” Ben replied and quirked his lips at me.

  Britton entered the house and watched the boys for a moment. A six-year old was marching around with pizza like it was a royal feast; a fifteen-year old was teasing me about my age; and a twenty-seven year old was standing in front of her, staring at her.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I think I need a moment. I’ll just put these in some water.” Flowers in hand, she headed for the kitchen. Ben followed and returned to the living room with plates for the pizza. When Britton took an extra minute longer, I entered the kitchen to watch her fill a glass and place the sunflowers inside. I noticed her admiring them.

  She didn’t look at me, but she commented on them, letting me know she knew I was behind her.

  “They’re beautiful.”

  She paused. I was about to tell her she was more beautiful when she spoke again.

  “Why are you here, Gavin?”

  “I wanted to apologize. I was an ass last night, and I wanted to see you again.”

  “Why?”

  “I…I don’t understand.”

  She turned to face me finally.

  “I have a son, Gavin. A son. And he isn’t used to this. I don’t have boyfriends or dates or men friends. He doesn’t know what to think of you being here or how to process who you are. Hell, I don’t know how to process what you’re doing here,” she spit in exasperation.

  I stepped closer, but she leaned back against the kitchen sink. I stopped short of her.

  “I just…I just wanted to get to know you again after I saw you. And I like to be with you and Gee. He’s a great kid and you’re a great mom.”

  She let her head fall forward and shook the hair surrounding her face.

  “Being a mom has nothing to do with anything right now, Gavin.”

  “I know that,” I said, stepping toward her again.

  “You’re confusing me, Gavin, and I don’t need it. Gee doesn’t need it either. I’m trying and trying to explain that you’re visiting, like Ben, and you’ll be gone soon. He doesn’t understand why. I try to explain that for Ben, he lives somewhere else to go to school, and you live somewhere else for work, but he doesn’t grasp that it’s the same concept. He likes you, and he doesn’t understand why you can’t stay.”

  I smiled softly to myself. I was glad to hear the boy liked me.

  “He also doesn’t understand why he hasn’t seen you before, and I have to admit I don’t know how to explain that either. And I don’t understan
d, why now?” She emphasized the last two words.

  “The festival,” I said.

  “Right. Films.” She turned her body toward the sink again and braced her outstretched hands on the edge of the sink.

  I came up behind her. I slid my hands into my pockets to prevent them from reaching out for her, but I was so close to her backside we might as well be touching. Mere fabric separated us. I longed to hold her, but I didn’t have answers for her.

  “Do you want me to go?” I asked softly.

  She leaned against the sink, gripping the edges. I didn’t like when she leaned away from me, and I didn’t like not seeing her face. I needed to know what she was thinking.

  “No,” she whispered. “No, I don’t,” she breathed out.

  I let out my own breath without realizing I’d been holding it, and reached for her. I placed my hands over hers to release them from their grip on the sink. Then I entwined our fingers and wrapped my arms around her, holding our clasped hands against her chest. My forehead lowered to the back of her head and I inhaled her summer scent. My chest pressed against her back, lightly rising and falling against her as I breathed her in.

  She pushed back against me. I thought I’d imagined it for a moment. Her backside brushing against the front of me seemed impossible. It had to have been unintentional, but I felt it again, firmer. She moved her hips back to let her ass rub against my stiffness, and I pulsed upward farther.

  “Britton?” I whispered softly into her hair. I still wasn’t certain she’d meant to do it, and I slid one hand from hers to place it tentatively on her hip. I applied a slight pressure and felt her hipbone through her skirt.