Goodbye, Mr Hitler

by Jackie French

  Dedication

  To Olga Horak,

  who turns evil into good

  Contents

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Author’s Note

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Also by Jackie French

  Copyright

  Prologue

  My name is Johannes.

  This is the story of how an ogre swallowed me when I was ten years old.

  The ogre swallowed Frau Marks too, and Helga.

  Other stories will tell you how the ogre ate forty-four million people, chewed them up and so they died.

  But I do not know forty-four million people. This is the story of the three of us.

  This is the story of how we three learned to live.

  Chapter 1

  JOHANNES

  POLAND, 1943

  On the corner by the park lived a house of love and stories.

  A cat called Maus lived in the house too. Maus was supposed to eat the mice she was named for. Instead she sat on any book Opa was reading at his desk and purred.

  The bookcase climbed up two whole walls. Johannes’s stories were on the lower shelves, bright volumes about a cow who thought she was a dog and sat on the lap of the farmer’s wife, as Johannes sat on Opa’s lap and listened to him reading. Opa read him the books over and over, for as long as Johannes yelled, ‘More!’

  There was only one book on Johannes’s shelves that he’d asked Opa never to read again. The book had bright flowers in a forest on the cover and a smiling boy, so you did not know till you were halfway through the book that an ogre lived inside. The ogre ate small children until one day he ate a clever boy who tricked him by tickling his stomach. The ogre burped and all the children were saved. Even though it had a happy ending, Johannes did not want to hear the story again. It was not worth being frightened for half a book, just for a page of happy ending.

  The top shelves had books no one was allowed to read. Books hidden behind other books, secret books: books that could bring trouble if anyone knew that they were there.

  One day, soon after, Opa became ill. He moved away the books at the front of the top shelves and showed Johannes books from towards the back.

  ‘Here is Thomas Mann, and his brother, Heinrich Mann, and Heinrich Heine,’ said Opa softly, his old hands stroking the leather covers. ‘These are the great thinkers of the world. We now live in a country that burns men like these, that burns their words and their thoughts. But words kept in the heart cannot be burned. Remember the books are here. And one day, when no one burns books any more, these words will be yours too.’

  ‘Yes, Opa,’ said Johannes. But the books were big and he was small and they had no clever cows on the front cover, in fact no pictures in them at all, or anything but words. He could not see why books like that could be important.

  Opa died that year, of the grippe. Even though Johannes’s father was an important doctor, with his own small hospital, even though Mutti had been a doctor too before she married, and still helped sometimes at the hospital, they could not save Opa.

  Opa held Johannes’s hand before he closed his eyes. ‘Words in the heart,’ he whispered.

  ‘Words in the heart,’ repeated Johannes, and he saw Opa smile. He was not sure what that meant, but he was glad Opa smiled at the end.

  Chapter 2

  FRAU MARKS

  GERMANY, NOVEMBER 1944

  On Tuesday Frau Marks took food down to the two jüdische children hidden behind the false wall in the coal cellar of the Sisters of Compassion Maternity Hospital.

  Forty-three children had passed through the cellar at some time: lost children, orphaned children, their parents sent to concentration camps, sometimes to work, but mostly just to die.

  Sometimes, as the desperate procession of jüdische families trudged through the streets, hoping against the evidence that there might be life beyond the trains waiting like crocodiles on the tracks, a baby might quickly be passed to a sympathetic woman standing in the street who held out her arms in a sudden rush of courage and compassion.

  ‘Even in times like these,’ said Sister Columba, ‘there are those who cheer the Führer with their mouths, but mercy still sings inside their hearts.’

  Sometimes those who saw a baby being saved in this manner did not call to the Gestapo, ‘Here! Arrest this traitor and the jüdische Kindchen.’

  Other times one of the Sisters walked a little way with the marchers to pray with them, for although Hitler condemned all who had any jüdisches blood, some were Christian too. The Sister could hide a baby in her robes, then step back into the crowd. Sometimes, when a family was rounded up, a neighbour or friend might keep a small child back, pretending it was theirs, hurrying it away so it did not cry out for its parents.

  And when members of the congregation saved such a child they might go to the priest for help; and Father Reinhardt would have the child taken to the hospital to be hidden by the Sisters for a while.

  Only forty-three children, from all the millions who had marched towards the death camps. ‘We cannot save millions,’ said Sister Columba. ‘But every child we rescue is a miracle.’

  ‘Do not waste your life weeping over what we cannot do,’ Sister Columba had told Frau Marks when she first came back to work at the hospital. ‘Do not waste your life on hate. We must keep our strength to save the few we can. Each time we save a child, feel joy lift up your heart at what you can do, instead of sinking beneath the weight of what you can’t.’

  It was best not to know the children’s names. Best that the children forgot too. For children could not hide in a coal cellar for months or years. Children’s bodies as well as spirits needed sunlight. One by one they vanished, delivered secretly to families who would hide them by saying that the child was their dead sister’s, orphaned by the bombing. These days there were many orphans. No one looked too closely at children, not when the sky rained bombs, when whole villages crumbled into matchsticks, when in a second the world around you might turn to fire and rubble. Most children were wide-eyed and starved now. If these children screamed in terror in the night, so did many others as the planes wept bombs each night.

  One day the war might end. One day these two children might remember that once they had names that weren’t Pieter and Gretchen, might be reunited with mothers, fathers, grandmothers, and learn once again who they had been born to be.

  But for now ‘Pieter’ and ‘Gretchen’ huddled mouse-like in the small brick room, with a single candle for their light. Father
Reinhardt brought extra candles when he came to say Mass each Sunday. In wartime there were many who lit a candle for their loved ones, and if that candle burned to keep the darkness from huddled children, ‘It did good twice,’ said Father Reinhardt.

  Today Frau Marks wore her nurse’s uniform as she carried the tray down to the cellar. The tray held two chamberpots covered with a linen cloth. One held water and one held bread and jam, although the jam was mostly turnip and the bread was bran and bark. But that was all the nurses and the Sisters had to share these days, with cabbage or turnip soup, and sometimes a potato. You ate, you lived. In this sixth year of war, that was enough.

  Most patients brought their own food to the maternity hospital: rich chicken broth in Thermoses, white bread and even cakes. These days the only women sent to hospital to have their babies were the wives of Nazi officers, the few people in Germany who ate well. Sometimes there were scraps from the patients’ meals to give the children, but not today.

  Frau Marks checked no one was watching before she opened the cellar door. A maternity hospital was a good place to hide children — few patients stayed more than a fortnight; nor did they wander far from their babies and their beds. Additionally, the Sisters insisted on regular visiting hours, though even Sister Columba could not refuse a high-ranking Nazi officer who wanted to see his baby son.

  The corridor was clear. Sister Columba and Sister Martin would patrol on either side too. That was another reason the maternity hospital was a good place to hide children. One nun in a white habit was easily mistaken for another. A nun could vanish for a day and a night, and say they had been praying if a patient missed them.

  The Sisters of Compassion Maternity Hospital was a good place to hide a woman too. Frau Marks had hidden there for five years, since the students killed her husband, screaming, ‘Jude!’ as they pushed him from a second-storey window till he lay broken on the paving stones below.

  He had not been jüdisch. Oh, his grandmother had been, perhaps. But not her Simon. Simon had been a poet, a professor, an Englishman in love with German literature and with her. They and their son were happy in their house with flowered sofas and fat cushions and feather-stuffed quilts aired in the sun.

  Smashed. Cut from her in one outburst of horror. And in those frantic seconds she could not even cradle his body. All she could do for Simon now was save their son.

  She had run, holding Georg by the hand. Georg at ten years old loved the Führer, loved his country, loved his parents too. But suddenly Georg was jüdisch. The Nazis killed his father, and they would come for him.

  Her sister, Gudrun, let them stay in her home for three hours. No more, not for a sister who had shamed her by marrying a jüdisch man.

  Three hours to phone Maria, who had tried to tell her, tried to warn her. Maria, who knew a friend who knew a friend. And at the end of that three hours Georg was gone. Had he reached England and safety, as she hoped? To his Aunt Miriam? Bombs fell on England now — would he be safe even there?

  She had asked Gudrun to forward any letters to her to a shop Maria had suggested, a safe place where they might be collected. No word had come. Or perhaps it had, but Gudrun had destroyed the letters.

  Gudrun had spat ‘Jude’ as if, by marrying Simon, Frau Marks had contaminated their family. By Hitler’s rules, of course, she had. Their friends at the university had not moved to save their colleague as the students wrestled him across the hall and out the window.

  No safety with Simon’s colleagues or her family. They had disowned her now.

  She had waited a night and day to make sure Georg was out of Germany, in case they captured her and made her talk, at a railway station waiting room that night, then lingering in cafés, pretending to drink coffee, all the next day. As it grew dark, she slipped into their old house one final time without turning on the lights, gathering money, jewellery, her passports, British and German, her nursing certificate, the deeds to the house, all in one small suitcase, praying no one had reported her to the Gestapo yet, that Simon’s death had not yet triggered a hunt for his family.

  She took a train, a bus, a train, showing her German passport, the one in her maiden name, the name on her nursing certificate, criss-crossing the country in case anyone might try to trace her. And then she walked.

  And came here, to the hospital where she had worked before her marriage. She had told the Sisters everything, so they knew they would risk their lives to shelter her.

  Sister Columba had smiled. Sister Columba, who had rapped her hard over the knuckles each time she made a mistake as a nursing student, and made her scrub the chamberpots. ‘We know what Christ would do,’ said Sister Columba calmly now.

  Frau Marks became Nurse Stöhlich. The new papers said that was her name. She had stayed in the tiny attic room until Sister Columba gave her the forgeries, and the roster for her to work. Good work: helping babies into the world. She had to keep believing it was good work, even if they were Nazi babies who might one day work for Herr Hitler, the man who had stolen her life.

  Had stolen so many millions more.

  Frau Marks did not know when the Sisters had begun to hide jüdische children. She thought it was a year, perhaps, before they asked her to help too. Being wanted by the Gestapo did not make you trustworthy. It was easy to sell information to the Gestapo to save yourself, but the Sisters trusted her now. Trusted her not to walk to a Gestapo office and say, ‘I will show you a whole network of resistance workers, hiding Juden, if you will let me go free to neutral Switzerland, where I might begin the journey to find my son.’

  And so tonight Frau Marks clicked on the light and walked down the stairs to the coal cellar. A hospital for Nazi women had electric lights. She opened the hidden door and saw the second of terror on the children’s faces. Pieter was two years old, perhaps, his sister four. Old enough to know they were not safe, if the wrong person found them.

  Sister Columba lifted the two children from her lap and stood up stiffly. Even though she had walked through the coal cellar, her robe was not dusty. Frau Marks had practised that too.

  ‘All well?’ asked Sister Columba.

  Frau Marks forced herself to smile. She might only be able to bring the children bread and jam and water, but she could smile. Georg, she thought, looking at Pieter, remembering Georg when he had been two years old too. Georg had blond hair as these children now had, bleached to help disguise them. One day, perhaps, the children might let their hair grow dark again.

  One day, the war would end.

  ‘Frau Weber has had a baby girl: six pounds, two ounces. She is doing well. Frau Sternberg and Frau von Hüber have arrived.’

  Sister Columba nodded. She would melt back into the hospital’s two wards and six private rooms as if she had never left. She took Frau Marks’s hands in her own, old and papery and strong, and held them in a brief silent prayer.

  And then she shut the door behind her.

  Frau Marks kept her smile. ‘Who would like a story?’

  Gretchen nodded. Pieter said nothing, clutching Gretchen’s hand.

  Frau Marks put down the tray, then sat on the pile of sacks, still warm from Sister Columba’s body, and took the children on her lap. Touch was important. They could give these children so little apart from food and sanctuary, except touch and love and human warmth.

  She handed them the bread, the jam, all at once. They had given up trying to make hungry children eke food out over a day and night, and it was too risky to visit the cellar more than once every twenty-four hours. Better they eat just once a day.

  Georg, she thought again. But Georg had been a laughing baby. These children hardly moved or spoke, as if sleep was the only safety that they knew, spending hours gazing at nothing with dark eyes. But stories brought them back again, for a little while. Stories and hugs.

  ‘Once upon a time,’ said Frau Marks, feeling the beloved bones in her arms, the gentle squash of children leaning into her for warmth, both hers and theirs, ‘there was a butterfly, the
biggest butterfly in all the world . . .’

  ‘How big?’ whispered Gretchen, just as Georg had once asked, ‘How big, Mutti? How big was the butterfly?’

  ‘Big as a train! He was a train butterfly, who carried children through the clouds . . .’

  ‘We cannot give our children safety,’ Sister Columba had said a year earlier. ‘We cannot give them laughter, for they must be quiet. We cannot properly feed their starved bodies. But we can give them joy.’

  Upstairs mothers in labour were told to meditate on the blessed suffering of the saints to help them through the pain until their babies were born. Here in the darkness with the single candle, they gave the children butterflies.

  Story after story, till it seemed the darkness lifted off the cellar and the world, just a little, till the candle flickered and it was time to light a new one, and to settle Gretchen and Pieter to sleep once more, their heads on Frau Marks’s lap, as she stroked their smooth young foreheads and remembered Georg, as she loved them, as she loved her son . . .

  And, at last, Frau Marks slept too.

  Chapter 3

  JOHANNES

  POLAND, NOVEMBER 1944

  It was sad without Opa. But life had joy too. Mutti cried the first time she made cherry strudel after Opa’s death. Opa had loved cherry, but it was good to remember Opa as they ate the strudel too. Vati showed Johannes how to make angel wings in the snow bank outside the house. Vati read the stories now before Johannes went to bed and sometimes, when it was grey outside, Mutti read him stories too. Opa’s loss was a small ache, but his memory still made Johannes smile.

  A year after Opa’s death the soldier was billeted in their house.

  The soldier was billeted because the house lived in a country called ‘war’. War kept changing, in ways too complicated for Johannes to understand. First Germany was an enemy and then it became their leader, a country of culture and courage that would lead the world. The house and the people who lived within it had to change as the country called war changed too. The country of war meant that some boys’ fathers or brothers left the village; that ‘Hello’ became ‘Heil Hitler’. But when your world was home, and school, and the big park of Vati’s hospital, it did not matter much what the country around you was called.