Friday Night Flights

by Susan X Meagher

  “Mmm.”

  “Today was your first time at Baby Brewers, wasn’t it?”

  “Uh-huh. It was fun.”

  “Yeah,” she said reflectively. “We have a good time. We need to keep recruiting, though. Especially if we’re going to keep it for kids under three. Landry will be a good edition. Get ’em while they’re young,” she said, chuckling. “Although in utero is pushing it.”

  Avery didn’t comment, so Casey kept talking. “What did you think of Tara?”

  “She seemed nice. And naïve. I’m afraid she’s going to be in for a shock.”

  “Yeah. I think so too. We’re going to have our hands full.”

  Avery desperately wanted to ignore the comment, but she simply couldn’t. Not when she was already feeling so raw. “We?” she said, feeling the burn in the back of her throat as her eyes welled up. “You’re already a ‘we?’”

  “I meant everybody in Baby Brew—”

  “Oh, that’s just great! I’m glad you’re getting exactly what you’ve always wanted, Casey. You’ll be there at the beginning this time.” Casey’s mouth had dropped open, giving Avery the opportunity to keep talking.

  “It’s working out in every way, isn’t it. Tara’s younger, and prettier, for that matter, than I am. And Langtree or Landon or whomever can pick up right where Lisbet left off. You’ll have a tiny little infant to care for while Lisbet’s trying to make the friggin’ debate team.”

  “What in the hell are you—”

  “I bought in!” she yelled, feeling like she was going to lose control and never get it back. “I love it here! I see my home in a whole new way now, and I see my place in the world with a different perspective.”

  “You do?” Casey looked like she was thoroughly puzzled, but she leaned in close and tilted her head slightly. “How do you see your place in the world?”

  “Oh, God,” she sighed, truly not wanting to get into this. But the words were already forming in her mouth, and she didn’t know how to stop them.

  “I used to think Lisbet would be an addition to my life. Like I’d be able to go along as I always had, and figure out work-arounds when I had to. I expected her to crawl into the space I’d carved out for her and learn to adjust.”

  “But you don’t think that now?” She moved even closer, seeming like she was as interested in Avery’s answer as Moses had been in reading the tablets.

  “Of course not! You can’t make a baby fit into your life. You’ve got to carve out a new life that puts the focus on her. Even if we lived in the same apartment in Carroll Gardens, with Freya right down the hall, it wouldn’t be the life I lived before.”

  “It wouldn’t?”

  “No!” she yelled. “That life is gone. Having a baby makes you start over, with new priorities.” She looked into Casey’s dark, warm eyes, seeing the concern she was now going to lavish on Tara and Langtree. “What matters now is making sure Lisbet’s surrounded by people who love her.”

  As she let that thought fill her mind, images of the last few months began to pummel her. There were dozens of them, most of them with Casey right in the bullseye. She’d been there for Lisbet’s first…everything. Soothing her, encouraging her, making her feel that the world was not just her oyster, but a safe haven in which she could explore without fear. The emotion begin to bubble up before she knew what hit her, and Avery barely knew what was going to come out of her mouth when she started to talk. “And now…” She wiped the tears from her eyes, so full of fury that she was sick to her stomach. “Now that I finally feel like I’m home, you’re going to kick me out of my house and fill it up with your new family. Lisbet and I will have to move to some cold-water flat in Brooklyn and subsist on ramen noodles.” She sucked in a breath and spit it out in a rush. “Because there’s no god damned way in hell I’m going to stay here and watch you fall for another woman.” She slapped her hands onto Casey’s shoulders and pulled her close, so close she could see flecks of green and amber in her dark brown eyes. “It would kill me to see that,” she whispered, her voice having lost all of its power. She started to sob, then strong, warm arms engulfed her, holding on tightly.

  Casey’s mouth was close to her ear when she murmured, “What in the hell are you talking about, you silly thing? Even though you have degrees from some very fancy schools, sometimes you’ve got no sense at all.”

  Avery’s whole body was shaking, but she pulled away while trying to suck in some air. “I have sense,” she said, her voice quavering. “I have the sense to see you’re attached to Tara now, and no one has time for two babies.”

  “Well, people with twins would disagree,” she said with a silly grin, “but I don’t plan on being attached to more than one baby.” She put her hands on Avery’s shoulders and gripped them firmly. “You know how I feel about Lisbet.” She bit at her lip for a second, then spoke again, with her voice a little louder, and a little stronger. “And I want her to have a hugely important place in my life. But it’s her mother I’m in love with.”

  “Love?” Avery blinked her eyes slowly, sure she was having some kind of auditory hallucination. “Did you say you love…me?”

  “You,” Casey said, closing her eyes for a second. “I love you, Avery, and if you’re having a meltdown just because I’m worried about some pregnant kid, I think you might love me, too.”

  Avery grasped her hard, squeezing until Casey whimpered. “I do,” she whispered. “I love you.” She looked up, seeing tears in Casey’s eyes. The words came tumbling out now, spilling from her quickly now that she was able to share them. “It finally dawned on me a while ago, but I didn’t think it was fair to say anything until I knew whether Helena would keep funding the program up here. But I don’t care!” She threw her head back and shouted the words to the sky. “I’ll quit my job if I have to. I just can’t quit you.”

  Casey ran her strong, callused hand across Avery’s cheek, gazing into her eyes with such love she thought her heart might stop. “I’ll admit I don’t always move from A directly to B, but even I’ve never told a woman I loved her before we’d even kissed.”

  Avery dried her eyes with the backs of her hands, still looking up into the warmth of Casey’s gaze. “We’ve done a few things that are kind of backwards. But I think we’re in a pretty good spot to finally get things moving in the right direction.”

  Casey’s gaze moved from left to right, making a show of it. “Out in a field of hops? This is where you want me to kiss you?”

  “I’d take a field, a glade, a glen, a thicket, a copse, a dell—”

  Casey bent slightly, tilted her head, then laughed softly. “Quit showing off that big vocabulary and let me kiss you.” She gently pressed her lips to Avery’s, whose eyes fluttered closed. Then she breathed in, trying to imprint the sensation deep into her memory. Every momentous event she’d experienced in her life had already been stored away, just waiting for this one to be added to the collection. This kiss, the first of what she hoped would be millions upon millions of them, would live in her heart for the rest of her life. She let her hands slide up Casey’s back until she was pressing into her body, needing to have more of her, to let the sensation of those warm lips fill her heart to overflowing.

  “Take me home,” Avery murmured as she gently pulled away, with her lips tingling with sensation. Then her eyes opened wide. “Where’s my baby?”

  “Your mom took her,” Casey said, smiling. “As I already mentioned. Do you think I left her on the floor of the Pub?”

  “I have no idea what I thought. Other than having my heart break because Lisbet called me mama today.” She threw her arms around Casey and held on tightly, unable to keep the tears away. “I’m so happy she said it, Casey. She looked me right in the eye and called me mama. Clear as day.”

  Casey pulled away and placed her hands on Avery’s jawline, holding her head still. “That upset you?”

  “Only because she’s not a baby anymore. Once she can talk, she’s almost out of the house.”
r />   “Ooo, you want to keep her little, too.” They held each other for a long time, getting used to each other’s bodies while they simultaneously soothed each other over the loss they both clearly felt. Avery hardly had words for it, but knowing that they shared that longing was one of the best feelings she’d had since the day she’d learned she was pregnant. As marvelous as it had been to have such a wonderful baby, she’d always felt the pressure of dealing with many of the bumps and bruises alone. But now…

  Casey sighed, with the wistful sound caressing Avery’s ear. “I always feel guilty when I have the instinct to keep her just like she is, but she’s so perfect. What if she’s a sucky toddler? Can we trade her in for another infant?”

  “Absolutely not,” Avery said, able to see the humor in what had felt so melodramatic moments earlier. “The three of us are an insoluble trio.”

  “Ha!” Casey said. “You think you can trick me with your big words, but I know that one. I had to take chemistry in college, you know.”

  “I don’t ever want to trick you. I only want to love you.”

  “That’s a big ditto from me.” She gave Avery one of the prettiest, most guileless smiles she thought she’d ever seen. “If you don’t mind, I’d love to kiss you again. I’ve never kissed a woman I love in a field of hops.” Her grin turned slightly shy. “That might sound silly to you, but hops mean a lot to me, and to be surrounded by their scent while I kiss the woman I love—”

  Avery put a hand behind her head and pulled her down so their lips were an inch apart. “I will always try to satisfy your desires. If you want to gather up a box of hops and cover our bed in them…”

  “Right here’s fine,” Casey said, with a soft, warm laugh as she closed the distance to capture Avery’s lips again. This time she was a little more bold, a little more determined as their mouths met.

  In just a few seconds, Casey’s tongue slid into Avery’s mouth, and she felt herself begin to purr. She wasn’t actually sure if the sound was even audible, but the kisses soothed her soul in a way she’d once known, but had nearly forgotten. She was deeply loved by some awesome people, but having this—this bone-deep desire for Casey’s body and mind, nearly brought her to her knees.

  Her hands couldn’t stop moving, tickling from the back of Casey’s neck all the way down to her ass, gripping her flesh as that slippery tongue explored her mouth so thoroughly she was shaking with desire. She was about to wrestle Casey to the ground when a cooler head prevailed. “Let’s go home,” Casey murmured, giving Avery another thrill. Her house would now be their home.

  ***

  Before they could take off, Casey had to act like an adult and lock up. If she hadn’t been certain that she’d lose her job if anyone broke in, she would have just run for her truck to get to the house as soon as humanly possible. But she just wasn’t wired that way. Business before pleasure, even when she could taste the pleasure on her tongue.

  It was a short walk back to the brewery, but she took Avery’s hand, just because she could. Avery smiled up at her and that unguarded, open expression hit Casey right in the chest, making her heart skip a beat. “It’s a little strange, isn’t it?” she asked. “I mean, adding this.” She held their linked hands up and gave them a glance.

  “Little bit,” Avery agreed, giving her a shy grin. “It’s going to take some time to get used to this.”

  “Maybe.” Casey let go of her hand and draped an arm across Avery’s shoulders. “But the best way to get over feeling uncomfortable is to jump right in.”

  Avery seemed very willing to do just that, moving closer so their bodies touched all along their lengths as they walked. “It won’t take long,” she said, with a little confidence beginning to show. “I’m already comfortable with having your arm around me, and it’s only been a few minutes.” When she smiled this time, any trace of shyness had evaporated. “So? What do we do now? Our timeline’s a little wonky, as usual. I’ve told you I love you before I’ve actually…” She waggled her fair eyebrows, which made her look really silly. “Loved you.”

  “We do everything a little backwards. I mean, I clearly fell for Lisbet long before I fell for you. I guess we should keep that a secret, huh?”

  “I don’t think we should,” she said, with that terrifically cute frown she often wore when she was thinking hard about something. “If we don’t tell her the whole truth, she’ll wonder why you’re not in her baby pictures until she’s six months old.” Avery put her arm around Casey’s waist and squeezed her tightly. “She’s going to start understanding stories soon, and I bet she’s going to love hearing about how we fell for each other because of her.”

  “Should I tell her I used to see you at school and wish I could trade places with the guy who had his arm around you?”

  Avery looked up at her, grinning broadly. “Really?”

  Casey just nodded, so happy to see the delighted expression that covered Avery’s face.

  “You can tell, but you can’t add that you thought I was a jerk.”

  “That can be our little secret. Kids don’t have to know everything about their parents.”

  They’d reached the door of the brewery, and Casey keyed in the code to hear the lock switch off. Avery walked in front of her, and when Casey let the door close she paused to shut her eyes as they entered the production area. She often got more information from her nose than her eyes, and tonight the place smelled just right. Nothing sour, or moldy, or acrid. Just the right blend of hops, toasted barley, yeast, and water, all working together to produce something magical.

  “Hey, I’ve been working on a limited edition, and I pulled off a growler of it earlier today. Want to taste?”

  “Why not? We can toast our…discovery?”

  “Sounds good.”

  “What kind of beer is it?”

  She smiled at Avery’s expectant expression. “Why don’t you guess. You’ve got a good nose.”

  “Why, thanks. I bet it’s going to get much better when you teach me a whole lot more.”

  Casey walked over to the two chillers near her office. She kept one at forty and one at sixty degrees, preferring some styles of beer colder, and some warmer. After snagging a couple of clean glasses, she poured a portion into each, making sure they developed the head she was looking for.

  When she handed a glass over, they tapped the rims together. “To us,” Avery said, smiling brightly. “Isn’t that cool to say?”

  “I think that’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard, and, believe me, I’ve heard a lot of toasts.”

  Avery held the glass up to the late afternoon light and observed it for a minute. “The color’s interesting. Not quite gold and not quite orange.” She looked up at Casey. “I like the pure white head. Very pretty.”

  “It is. It doesn’t last long, though.”

  “Mmm. But as it dies away, the lacing on the glass is nice.” She held it to her nose and took a big sniff. “Wow. There’s some funk in that thing!”

  “Uh-huh. It’s definitely got a funk.”

  Avery looked up at her again, with a sly smile forming. “Want to hear a secret?”

  Casey leaned close and tilted her head. “I love secrets.”

  “I like the way you smell after you’ve been at work all day.”

  Casey pulled back and stared at her. “You do?”

  “Uh-huh.” Her cheeks colored the slightest bit, like she was embarrassed, but not very embarrassed. “You smell a little like this beer, but I’m never sure if it’s from the brewery or you.” She shrugged. “Either way, I’m kind of addicted to it.”

  “Thank god!”

  “Oh, yeah. Smell’s important to me. We’re good on that point.” She stopped. “At least I’m good. I’m not sure if you like my scent.”

  “You don’t have much, since all you do is sit at a desk and type. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you break a sweat.” She leaned close and sniffed all around her neck, making Avery giggle. “I smell soap and detergent and some baby s
tuff. We’re going to have to investigate further, but I think we’re good.”

  “Oh, we’re going to investigate. As soon as we get a couple of things clear, we’re going to do a lot of investigating.”

  Casey tapped at the glass in Avery’s hand. “You know, I usually advise people to let the beer warm in their hands for a few seconds, but…are you going to try that today? I worked awfully hard on it.”

  “One more sniff.”

  They both breathed in through their mouths, with Avery nodding with pleasure. “Mmm. I still get the same notes. It’s yeasty, and grassy, with a bright citrus.”

  “Exactly what I get,” Casey said, really pleased with how serious Avery was taking this. “I get a some oak, too.”

  “Uh-huh. But yeast and that overall funk are stronger for me.”

  “Let’s taste.”

  They lifted their glasses at the same time, and Avery smacked her lips with a smile on her face. “It’s a funky champagne.”

  Casey laughed. “It kind of is. I made this with a wild yeast, which I’m really happy with. Do you get any green apple?”

  “Maybe,” she said, taking another sip. “But just a touch. It’s pretty carbonated, but it still goes down easy.”

  “Right. I’ve been working on the balance, and I think it’s pretty good.”

  “Oh, yeah. I could grow to love this. I hope it’s not a limited edition.”

  Casey almost didn’t reveal a detail she was a little embarrassed about, but she had to get over hiding things if she wanted to open her heart to Avery. “Um, I suggested naming it for Lisbet,” she said, knowing her cheeks were coloring.

  “Ooo!” Avery threw her arm around her and hugged her tightly. “That’s so sweet of you.”

  “Yeah,” she said, shrugging off the compliment. “But my bosses thought it made it sound too girly, which it kind of does. So I switched it to something else.” She walked over to her desk and found the artwork their graphic designer had come up with. Holding it to her chest, she said, “I was thinking about us… Even though there wasn’t an us yet.”