Saving Us: A novel of love and friendship (Northern University Book 1)

by Wendy Million

  Annika gave me a side-eyed glance. “Sure.” She picked up her mascara tube and tapped it in her hand. “So, what about Sebastian?”

  I flopped on her bed, arms out. “I’ve never experienced this gut-deep, soul-deep longing for someone, ever. That’s the horrible, terrible truth.”

  Annika laughed and sat on her bed with her legs crossed. “Why is that horrible and terrible?”

  “We’re young. He might go to the NFL. One of us could so easily screw this up. I’m already in so deep. How far down can I go?”

  She gave me a dark look. “Pretty far, Nat, pretty far.”

  “Shit.” I sat up. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring him up.”

  She held up her hand. “It’s fine. I’m fine.” She stood. “We should get going or we’ll have no chance to even get a seat.”

  We walked to the stadium instead of taking Annika’s car. She said the fresh air would help to clear her head. I kept glancing at her as we walked, expecting her to break down or turn around and go home. We’d been so good about avoiding Johnny. Going to the game was playing with fire. Sebastian had warned me Johnny wanted her back. At what point would that no longer be true?

  Once we took our seats, in a different section and higher than normal, I texted Sebastian the section and row. When they came running onto the field, he scanned the rows and sections, lasering in on me. I grinned but didn’t wave. When I turned to Annika, her expression was stunned. Down on the field, Johnny was staring at her the same way Sebastian had stared at me. After the game, Sebastian and I were going to have a chat about not throwing my friend under the Johnny bus.

  I touched Annika’s arm, and she turned startled eyes to me. “How’d he see me so quickly? There are thousands of people here.”

  The text I sent Sebastian was on my home screen, and I showed it to her. “I’m guessing he asked Sebastian where I was sitting or outright asked where you were sitting.” I shook my head. “Sorry,” I mumbled. “I’ll talk to Sebastian.”

  “No, no.” Annika’s attention was glued to Johnny on the field. “It’s okay. It’s fine.”

  If I heard the word “fine” from her one more time, I might scream. A mix of worry and panic stirred in my stomach. Their eye contact had been electric, crackling across the distance. Once I’d seen them together, I never doubted their connection, only Johnny’s ability to be a decent human being.

  “You’re going home after the game, right?” I tried to focus on the action on the field.

  She hesitated. “I might go see Kristy or one of the other girls.”

  I sighed. Sebastian and I would be at Gabby’s bar after all. Annika wasn’t headed to Kristy’s after the game. The lure of Johnny was too great.

  We were outside the locker rooms at an exit no one ever used, waiting for Sebastian to emerge. Sebastian had started coming this way to avoid the fans and groupies so I’d feel better. This route also removed any temptation for him. He was a very affectionate person, and the no-touching rule was hard for him.

  He and Johnny came out shoulder to shoulder. I scanned Sebastian’s face first, trying to figure out if he’d engineered this meeting or Johnny had. Sebastian caught my eye and gave a little shrug. I sighed. Johnny had weaseled his way into following Sebastian out.

  Annika hung behind me. “Hey, Sebastian,” Annika greeted him. “Good game. Sorry you’ll have to cut your holidays at home short.”

  Sebastian grinned, looping an arm around my waist. “I wish my girl was going to be around since I’m stuck here.” He tucked me tight against his side.

  His freshly showered scent was one of my favorites. Who was I kidding? He smelled incredible to me all the time.

  “Hey, Anni. How are you?” Johnny asked when she didn’t acknowledge him.

  She shot a quick glance in his direction and then gave me and Sebastian her full attention. “Are you guys going out?” she asked.

  “Most of us are going to Gabby’s bar.” Johnny took a tentative step toward her. “Are you coming?”

  When she met his gaze, she was a goner. Love and longing coated her face. I couldn’t imagine Johnny didn’t see, didn’t realize he could lure her to return.

  “I’ve missed you, Anni. Nothing’s as good without you,” he said.

  “Don’t.” She held up her covered hand. “Just don’t, okay? I don’t want to hear you lying to me.”

  Sebastian started to lead me away, but I dug in my heels. “Annika?” I needed to be sure she wanted to be left with him. She could choose whatever she wanted, but I wouldn’t abandon her.

  Her dark, helpless eyes met mine. “Give us a sec.”

  I let Sebastian lead me away. A small crowd gathered to greet both guys. Our secret exit was no longer a secret. If Johnny had arranged this too, he would end up neutered.

  “We’re going to your place?” Sebastian moved into my direct line of sight so I couldn’t stare at Johnny and Annika talking.

  “I don’t like that.” With my lips pursed, I gestured to them.

  “I get it. But Annika is a grown-ass woman, and if she wants to take him back, that’s up to her.”

  “How’d he find out where she was sitting?” I narrowed my eyes.

  Sebastian sighed. “He asked me where you were sitting.”

  “And you didn’t wonder why he’d ask? He hates me. Why would he care where I was sitting?”

  Sebastian shrugged and stared into the distance. “We were getting ready. Your text rolled in. He asked. I answered. I didn’t think anything. I just answered.”

  Maybe it was that simple.

  “If Annika decides to go to the bar, we’re going. Okay?” I rubbed his arms, thinking about the things I’d rather be doing with him at my place.

  He leaned down, gathering me to him, his lips skimming the place on my neck that made my knees collapse with desire.

  “You’re playing dirty,” I breathed.

  “That’s the only way I like to play,” he murmured, tightening his hold.

  “Yo, Casanova!” Troy called. “You coming out tonight or what?” He made a whooshing noise and pretended to crack a whip.

  “Whatever, bruh.” Sebastian peered at Troy over his shoulder. “We’re going to your girlfriend’s bar so you can slump into a barstool all night.” He made the same noise and motion to Troy.

  Troy laughed good-naturedly. “Yeah, yeah. You coming or not?”

  Sebastian turned to me with the question unspoken. Johnny and Annika were deep in conversation. With a sigh, I said, “Yeah, we’re coming.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  The bar was packed. Annika had disappeared into a corner with Johnny as soon as we arrived. Whatever lines he was feeding her, she was gobbling them up. Sebastian was working hard to keep me distracted. When he left to get more drinks, Kristy came out of nowhere and bumped my hip.

  “Sebastian’s so whipped.” She sipped her drink and grinned at me. “Are Johnny and Annika back together?” She motioned to where they were deep in conversation against a wall.

  “No idea on that one.” I scanned the bar for Sebastian. “You were at the game?”

  I spotted Sebastian heading toward us with two beers. A girl appeared out of nowhere and tried to hug him. He sidestepped her and shook his head. He grinned to soften the blow and leaned in her direction, yelling something. She turned and stared at me.

  Ah, the girlfriend card. Didn’t take long to brandish it.

  Kristy took another drink. “Yeah, a bunch of us were there. You should have said you and Annika were going. I thought she was avoiding Johnny or I would have texted you guys.” She followed my gaze. “I didn’t know about you and Sebastian.”

  “It’s new.” He passed me a beer and kissed my temple. “Sebastian, do you remember Kristy?” I asked. “We lived on the same floor last year.”

  “We met at Nattie’s one time, right?” He kept his palm pressed to my lower back.

  “Yeah.” The word was dragged out as she looked between us, grinning. “Okay, I ha
ve to say this development is sort of shocking. Nat hated football last year and football players. But seeing you two together—it makes so much sense to me.”

  I gave her a lopsided grin. “Thanks, Kristy.”

  I wanted to ask Sebastian about the girl who’d approached him, but I couldn’t become obsessed with whatever happened before we became official. Dwelling on the past wouldn’t help us build a relationship.

  “I’m working on winning her over.”

  Kristy’s smile was sly. “She looks pretty won to me.”

  Heat raced up my neck, and a self-conscious laugh escaped before I passed Sebastian my drink. “And on that note,” I said. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

  Sebastian’s expression morphed from relaxed to panicked. Until people understood his new hands-off approach, these first few nights would require a lot of explanation to everyone who was used to getting a piece of him.

  “Kristy will keep you company.” I nudged her with my shoulder. “If anyone tries to touch him, knock them out with a death stare or just punch them. I’m okay with either.”

  “Death stare, death stare,” Sebastian said, taking a drink of his beer. “Though girls fighting over me has always seemed kinda hot…” He trailed off, smugness oozing out of him.

  I laughed and punched him in the arm.

  “Fighting over me, Nattie. Not beating me up.” He gave me a quick kiss before I left. “Hurry back.”

  “I’ll protect him,” Kristy called as I walked away.

  When I approached the bathrooms, I was still grinning. Coming out of the men’s door was Johnny. He slowed to a stop when he saw me.

  “Natalie,” he drawled.

  “Johnny,” I said, mimicking his tone.

  “Annika’s coming home with me tonight, so you don’t need to wait.” He made it sound as though he was doing me a favor.

  “Is that so?” I raised my eyebrows. “I’ll double-check with her.”

  “She needed time to miss me, to understand we’ve got a good thing.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I knew she’d come around.”

  Looking at him made my blood boil. I made a noncommittal noise and tried to decide if I could squeeze past him in the hall without touching him. We’d met in a crowded spot, and I was trapped. People eased around us in the tight hallway. The publicness of the encounter was good; the closeness was not. I should have gone to the other bathroom. More crowded, but also more open.

  “You don’t believe me, but I love her.”

  I glanced at him. “People don’t leave bruises on those they love.”

  He shrugged. “Sometimes I don’t realize my own strength.” He searched my face, and I hated the calculation I saw. “You’ve made it so clear you don’t like me, Natalie. No one is ever going to believe anything you say about me.” He shook his head in mock regret. “Here’s the real kicker. Your interference is often what sets me off—the phone password, planting seeds of doubt in Annika about me—if you’d just stay out of my relationship, Annika and I would be fine.”

  I met his steady, determined gaze and marveled at his nerve. “I’m the reason you can’t keep your temper in check? I’m the reason you sleep with other girls? Man, Johnny. You must spend a lot of time thinking about me.”

  His jaw clenched, and his hands flexed in and out of fists. “I have no idea what Sebastian sees in you.”

  “Thank God for that.”

  He stepped around me, and as he did, he said to me, just loud enough to hit my ears, “Watch yourself. Seb’s not always nearby.”

  A chill raced through me. For a minute, I stood frozen. Sounded an awful lot like a threat. Would Sebastian believe me if I told him? I wasn’t sure he would. As close as we were getting, Johnny was the guy he was closest to on campus. He’d tell me Johnny was being intense again. Or maybe I’d misheard him or misunderstood.

  Forgetting about the bathroom, I rotated on my heel and pushed through the crowd. Kristy was still with Sebastian, along with about ten other girls, but none of them were touching him. He was laughing with one of them when I came up behind him.

  “Have you seen Annika?” I ran my fingers along his back.

  He tugged me into a hug. “Man, girls and their bathroom lines.” He shifted and examined my face. A frown marred his forehead, and he leaned in to whisper in my ear, “You okay?”

  When he passed me my beer, I drained it. “I want to leave. Have you seen Annika? I need to talk to her before we go.” My pulse pounded.

  Sebastian motioned to a booth off to the side. “She’s sitting with Johnny and a couple of the other guys.”

  In the booth, she was smiling and laughing. When Johnny caught me looking, he grinned and had the nerve to nudge Annika and point to me. She waved me over.

  I grabbed Sebastian’s hand, mumbled goodbye to Kristy, and headed to their table.

  Johnny rubbed Annika’s back and spoke to Sebastian. “I ran into Natalie outside the bathrooms.”

  “Oh yeah?” Sebastian turned to me. “Everything okay?” He drew me into his side and nuzzled my ear.

  I couldn’t say anything. The words were stuck in my throat.

  “We cleared the air,” Johnny said. “Yeah, yeah. I wasn’t treating Annika right before. But I’ll be better this time.”

  My stomach churned.

  “Annika?” I asked.

  She hit Johnny’s leg. “Let me out. I should talk to Nat quickly.”

  My heart sank.

  She pulled me off to the side and stared at me for a beat. The words might not have left her lips, but I could tell from her helpless, hopeful expression what was coming.

  “We’re trying again. It was a misunderstanding.”

  I said nothing. Would she believe me if I told her what Johnny said? Would she understand his words were a threat?

  “You’re not going to say anything?” Annika asked.

  “What do you want me to say? Giving him another chance is a mistake, but it’s your life and you get to make your own choices.” Part of me wanted to tell her not to come running to me the next time he screwed up, but I’d never want her to feel she couldn’t turn to me. Even if it put me in danger too.

  She shifted from foot to foot. “He’ll be better this time. He really wants this.” She bit her lip. “He said you two cleared the air?”

  “We both said things.” No point in getting into what the words we exchanged were about since it was clear she was determined to believe him. “Are you coming home tonight?”

  “Uh.” She shrugged. “I’m not sure. I guess we’ll see how the rest of the night goes.”

  With a deep, shaky breath, I hugged her. “If you need anything at all, ever, call me.”

  She smiled and her shoulders lowered. “I’m good. Our relationship will be better this time. The first step is admitting you have a problem.”

  Did any of us agree on the problem, though?

  Instead of asking, I squeezed her tight one more time and went to Sebastian. I laced my fingers with his. He was laughing with Johnny and turned to brush a kiss on my temple.

  “We’re outta here. See you at practice tomorrow.” He gave a general wave to the footballers gathered. “Have a good night, Annika.”

  She beamed at Sebastian as she slid into the booth beside Johnny.

  The last thing I saw before I left them was Johnny’s triumphant smirk.

  We’d no sooner exited the bar when Sebastian said, “You two didn’t clear the air, did you?”

  I laughed, but it held no humor. “No, we did not.”

  “You don’t believe Johnny can be faithful?”

  Such a slippery discussion. If I said I didn’t, we might steer into a discussion about him. We were building our trust, and I didn’t want to ruin that. He and Johnny weren’t the same.

  The farther we walked from the bar, the more I started to convince myself I couldn’t have heard Johnny correctly. Did he threaten me? Why would he bother? Annika was falling into his arms without any protest.
/>   I shook my head. “We don’t get along. It’s not like it’s a secret.”

  “Is there something you’re not telling me?” He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Confusion and concern mingled on his face. “Something doesn’t feel right to me.”

  “No.” I avoided eye contact. “It’s fine. I’m worried. You know me.”

  He kissed the top of my head. “I do, Nattie. So, I realize there’s more to the story. But I’m gonna trust you’ll tell me at some point.”

  I gave him an extra squeeze as we walked to my house, grateful he wasn’t going to push the issue.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Sebastian was sprawled across my bed while I packed. Soon, I’d be starting the drive home to see my dad and my sister for the holidays.

  “When are you coming back?” He tossed a football into the air and caught it over and over.

  “You play on the 31st, right? I’ll be here on the 30th.” I stuffed the last few things into my suitcase. There were clothes of mine at Dad’s, so packing was somewhat pointless.

  “You tell your family about me?” He sat up with the ball gripped in his hands.

  My nail kit was in my hand, and I didn’t turn around. Was honesty the best policy when it might hurt your boyfriend’s feelings? I was going to tell my dad, but I hadn’t yet.

  “That’s a no.” He sighed. “Why not?”

  Leaning against my desk, I couldn’t meet his gaze. “I wanted to make sure we stuck. When I’m home, I’ll tell him.”

  “You worried your dad’s not going to like me?” he asked quietly.

  “What? No. Why?” My gaze flew to his.

  “We’ve been spending a lot of time together. Figured you might have mentioned me, that’s all.” He stared out my bedroom window.

  I took a deep breath. “Does your family know about me?”

  “My mom does, yeah. She told my sister. She texted me something the other day that made me think she knows. They’re gonna be at the game on the 31st. I was hoping—well, it would be nice for them to meet you.”

  “Oh.” I sat on the bed beside him. “You want me to meet your family?”