Theo chuckled beside him.
They both deserved to be slapped. Claudia squeezed my shoulder, as if sensing my drunken urge. “Why would I ever believe a word that came out of your mouth?”
His eyes were cold and calculating. “I wonder what it would take to get your dad to back off,” he mused.
“That’s easy, Johnny. Be innocent. Simple.”
“How is Annika?” His voice dipped, mimicking sincerity.
“Someone who actually cared would have gone to see her in the hospital, sent flowers, been a decent human being.”
“I regret not going to her,” he said, looking everywhere but at me.
“I’m sure you do. Made you look extra guilty.”
His eyes flashed. “I loved Annika.”
“No one wants a love like that.” I took a step toward him. Claudia clutched my arm. “No one deserves that kind of love. I hope you rot in jail.”
“Careful, Nattie. Sebastian isn’t here to protect you.” His voice was low, menacing.
Theo stood behind Johnny’s shoulder, and I focused on him. “Would you let him hurt me? You told me you were a good guy. Do good guys dump injured girls in alleys?”
Theo shook his head and wouldn’t meet my gaze. “You’re drunk, Natalie. You should go home before things get out of hand.”
“Like they did last week at the frat house? That kind of out of hand?” I pressed. Claudia moved closer to me, tense.
“Come on, Nat,” she whispered. “Dad would be pissed at you.”
“Dad?” Johnny perked up. “Two for the price of one. Both his daughters here—”
From behind us, the exit door popped open. My gaze didn’t leave Johnny, but whoever it was, Johnny recognized them.
“What’s going on out here?” Warning edged Troy’s thunderous voice.
Over my shoulder, I caught Troy’s worried expression. I wasn’t sure which football players I could trust, but I would bet money on him not being involved.
“A friendly chat.” Johnny stepped around me, not making eye contact. Theo trailed behind him. They squeezed past Troy into the bar without a backward glance.
Troy stared at me for a beat. “Besides being very drunk, are you okay?”
I nodded. With both hands, I rubbed my face, and the tension slipped out of me.
“Jesus,” Claudia breathed out in a whoosh. “That was scary tense. He’s always like that?”
“Around me? Yes. We’ve never gotten along.”
“You coming in or what?” Troy propped the door open wider.
My sister slid past him and moved through the crowd to Kristy and the rest of our group. Troy touched my arm before I could follow her. When I gazed at his hand, I realized I was trembling.
“Seriously, are you okay?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but a set of broad shoulders in the crowd stole my attention. The mirage had happened so many times over the last week, I shook my head to clear it. Maybe I was wrong. When he shifted, and his profile was visible, my breath caught. The thud of each heartbeat echoed in my ears. My blood thickened and slowed. Warmth invaded in a rush.
Sebastian.
Without thinking, I took a step in his direction. Troy’s grip on my arm became firmer. “You don’t want to go over there.”
In a daze, I glanced up at him and cocked my head.
“We’re in public,” Troy explained slowly. “Johnny is here. I don’t want trouble at Gabby’s bar. She just got this job. If Sebastian heard Johnny cornered you out there…well, if he ever did that to Gabby, I’d kill him.”
“I won’t tell him. I didn’t last time.”
Troy frowned. “Last time?”
“It’s not the first time Johnny’s threatened me. Only the first time anyone’s witnessed it.”
As though he sensed me, Sebastian craned in our direction. He spotted Troy first, and then his focus strayed to me. The moment he recognized me, his expression darkened with concern. He took a step in my direction, a reflex, like me.
I shook my head, and he stopped moving. I wanted him to come over, but I was afraid of what I’d say and do if he did. Nothing had changed since I saw him a week ago. The crushing pressure in my chest was almost too much to bear. Maybe Sebastian had been right to avoid me. Maybe not seeing each other was easier than being so close and not being together.
“I gotta go,” I said to Troy without looking at him. The nausea I’d felt earlier had returned two-fold. I broke eye contact with Sebastian, but before I did, another woman tried to snag his attention. My stomach heaved. In my heart, I understood Johnny lied. There hadn’t been someone else already. But there would be. It was inevitable.
I weaved through the throng until I found my sister. “I want to go.”
“You’ve hardly spent any time with us,” Kristy said.
“The football guys are here. It’s—I can’t.” I pressed my fingers to my forehead.
The claustrophobic nature of the club returned, and I dragged Claudia through the crowd to our coats. Everywhere I went, I imagined Sebastian following me. Wishful thinking.
We stepped into the chilly air, and I could breathe again. I hooked my arm with Claudia’s, and we walked in quick steps through the night to my house. A thin layer of snow lay on the grass on either side of the sidewalk. The alcohol didn’t let the cold penetrate.
“What happened? Was he there?” Claudia asked, the silence too much for her.
“Yeah.” The sight of him was burned into my eyelids.
When we made the turn up the path to the house, familiar feet pounded the pavement behind us. I slowed. My heart kicked double in my chest.
“You go ahead,” I said to Claudia, looking over my shoulder.
She glanced back and grinned. “Now might not be the time, but man. He’s gorgeous.”
“Yeah, not helpful.” I gave her a small smile. She unlocked the door and disappeared inside.
Sebastian approached cautiously. “I saw you, and I—I couldn’t let you go. Are you okay?” He closed the distance between us.
Staring up at him, the pieces of my heart slotted into place and released again. My head and my heart didn’t understand what to make of him, here.
“Yeah,” I said. “I couldn’t stay.”
“Because of me?” he asked. “That girl who tried to get my attention. I didn’t—I wouldn’t—that’s not who I am anymore.”
Even though I hadn’t trusted what Johnny said, the pressure in my chest released at his words. I sighed, and my shoulders dropped.
Sebastian read me with ease. His brow furrowed. “You didn’t think that, did you?”
I shook my head. “No, I—” Meeting his gaze, my breath caught in my throat at the look of confusion on his face. I was too drunk for this, again. “I ran into Johnny. He said some things. He said you had a girl over last night.”
“That’s not true. I didn’t and I wouldn’t. Lord, you’re all I think about. How can I fix my life? Nothing is right anymore. It’s all fucked up.” Sebastian studied me for a moment. “What else did Johnny say?”
I shrugged. He chose football when he left me. I didn’t want to ruin his chances of playing next year. Johnny would pay for what he did. My dad would make sure of that.
“Hey, hey.” He stepped forward and brushed tears from my cheeks. “Nattie, talk to me.”
“I can’t. You’re not here anymore.” My words were garbled by sadness.
He flinched. Looping one arm around my waist, he drew me closer. “Tell me what’s going on, Nat. How can I make things right if I don’t understand everything that’s wrong?”
I swallowed and rested my cheek on his shoulder. With my eyes closed, I breathed in his scent. “Johnny threatened me.”
Sebastian stiffened.
“Tonight, he intimidated me and Claudia in the alley. I thought I was going to throw up, and I went out the side door. Claudia followed. Theo and Johnny showed up. He started saying things about you. He wondered what it would take to get my d
ad to leave everyone alone.”
Sebastian rubbed my back and squeezed me tighter.
“I was scared, but I didn’t want him to realize it. I kept thinking I had to keep him away from Claudia.” A shuddering breath escaped me.
“He didn’t touch you, did he?” Sebastian’s voice was gruff.
“No, but—but—I kept picturing Annika. You didn’t see her that night, Sebastian. I can’t stop thinking about how scared she must have been when they left her in that alley. She doesn’t remember, but she still carries the assault. It’s in her somewhere. It’ll always be there.” Tears kept falling, and a lump formed in my throat. I tried to swallow it. “Part of this is my fault. If I’d told Annika Johnny threatened me, maybe they wouldn’t have been together anymore.”
Sebastian tensed again. “This has happened before?”
I nodded and took a couple of deep breaths. “The night they got back together. He cornered me outside the bathrooms and warned me that you weren’t always around to watch out for me.”
“You shoulda told me, Nat.” Anger spilled out of him.
“I wasn’t sure you’d believe me,” I whispered.
He put some space between us. “Whether I believed he meant it as a threat or not, I would never be okay with him saying something like that to you. I’m sure as hell not sitting around and letting him intimidate you now, either.”
“I don’t want you to get in trouble. Don’t do anything stupid.”
He cupped my face. “No one says that shit to my girl and gets away with it.”
“I’m not your girl anymore, Sebastian.”
His lips quirked up, and my heart burst with love. “You’ll be my girl till the day I die, whether you wanna be or not. I’m always going to celebrate your successes and rage against anyone who hurts you. Always.” With a steady look, he searched my face. “I’m gonna take care of this.”
“Sebastian,” I pleaded. “I don’t want you in jail.”
“It’ll be okay, Nattie. I promise. Someone should have done something already. I should have done something already.”
If my sister and my dad weren’t in my house right now, I’d drag Sebastian in to make sure he didn’t do something dumb. But inviting him in wouldn’t change anything else. We weren’t on the same team.
“Thank you for following me here,” I said.
He kissed my forehead, and his thumbs grazed my cheeks. “I miss you. I’m not giving up. I’ll figure out a way to save us and get Annika justice.”
“My dad’s working on the justice thing.”
“He’s having a hard time getting the guys to talk to him. The coach has threatened everyone. Not that any of us are talking to each other either. A few subtle remarks here and there.”
“So he hasn’t targeted only you?”
“Nope.”
My drunken brain started ticking. “Have you heard who helped Johnny?”
Sebastian’s jaw hardened. “No. I have my suspicions.” He smoothed my hair. “Nothing for sure yet.”
“Does my dad realize the coach has been threatening people?”
Sebastian rubbed the back of his head. “Not sure.” Regret flickered across his face. “I should go.”
Instinctively, I reached for him, lacing my fingers with his, tugging him toward me again. “Don’t go.”
“I can’t stay, Nat. Your dad’s inside, and he’s at war with the team. He should be.” He stared at me. “He should be. Whoever hurt Annika deserves to be brought down. But I can’t stay.”
I ran my fingertips across his brow and down to his chin. When our gazes connected, his expression mirrored my anguish. He hesitated before he dipped his head, capturing my lips with his. My drunken brain flicked onto high alert. I wrapped my arms around his neck, dragging him to me. He lifted my legs and walked us backward, my skirt riding up almost to my waist. He braced my back against the side of the house, and we deepened the kiss, pushing ourselves closer together. I snuck my hands under his winter jacket and shirt. His skin was music to my fingers. Desire shot through me like a drug.
“Nat,” he said in a hushed voice. “Nat, we can’t.”
“Please,” I murmured against his lips.
“Nattie,” he muttered into my neck, and his lips met mine. “Lord, I have missed you.” He pushed his hips forward, and I gasped.
“Please. I need to be close to you,” I moaned. “I can’t take this.” I tried to reach between us for the button on his jeans.
“You’ll hate me in the morning.” His hand was firm over mine, stilling my search, and he kissed me again. “I love you too damned much for that.” After leaving a trail of kisses along my face and into my neck, he drew away to make eye contact. He cupped my cheek with his palm. “Not like this, okay?”
Ice settled over me. “If we’re not doing this, then you should go.” I shoved his chest.
“Nattie,” he groaned, and his forehead touched mine.
I shifted in annoyance, and he lowered my legs. He didn’t meet my gaze while I straightened my skirt.
My anger was back in full force—at him, at Johnny, at every football player who wouldn’t stand up for what was right. “I guess I’ll see you around.” I headed for my door.
“Natalie.” He reached for my hand, but I yanked it away.
“We’re torturing ourselves.” I kept my back to him at the door. “Next time, don’t come after me.”
Clasping my anger to me, I disappeared inside without a backward glance.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
It took me until noon the next day to face the sunlight. Claudia was up and gone long before that. She had homework she needed to finish for Monday. I was glad she came, even if our outing ended as a spectacular failure. Once Sebastian left, I crawled into bed beside her and cried silent tears while she slept.
“How was your night?” Dad asked from the living room while I made myself something to eat.
I loved my dad, but he wasn’t getting those details. Claudia must not have told him before she left or else he’d have busted down my door already.
“I talked to Sebastian.” I watched him for a reaction while I grabbed a seat at the kitchen table and took a bite of my sandwich.
He raised his eyebrows.
“The coach is threatening all of them.”
He sat back into the couch and steepled his fingers. “None of them have told me that personally. You said Sebastian felt threatened.”
“Not felt threatened. He was threatened, Dad. Sebastian said the coach has talked to the team. They’re being kept in line by the threat of no longer playing for Northern University. There must be something you can do with that information.”
“We need proof. One of the players has to file a complaint against the coach or we need a record of the threat.”
“Like a video or audio?”
He shook his head. “Not admissible in court if he doesn’t realize he’s being recorded.”
I smiled. “But Dad, he’s a football coach at a top-notch school. The court of public opinion is equally important.”
“Natalie, blackmail isn’t a good idea. You want to be a lawyer. If this got out, you’d ruin any future career.”
“I’ll figure out a way to keep myself out of it. It’s not as though I can book an appointment and he’ll confess. This isn’t Law and Order.”
“Would Sebastian do it?”
I frowned and didn’t meet my dad’s eyes. I couldn’t ask him to, even though he might. If my plan didn’t work, the stakes were too great. Any of the other players who wanted to make a living off football one day wouldn’t be persuaded. For them, the risk wasn’t this season or even next season, it was the rest of their lives.
“Not him,” I said. “I have someone else in mind.”
“Care to share?” It was a mom-ism. Her memory made me smile.
“Not right now, no. But if it works, you’ll be the first to hear. At least a few of those guys must be as angry as we are about what Johnny did to Anni
ka.” I’d be betting a lot on that claim.
“Just be careful, Natalie. The National Championship is this coming weekend. They are headed out of the state starting on Thursday. Johnny is being brought in for questioning on Wednesday before he leaves.”
“What happens if they charge him?”
“If they did that, he wouldn’t be able to cross state lines. No championship for him. But they won’t. Even if they have the evidence, they’ll delay arresting him.”
“Makes me furious.” I shoved my empty plate into the middle of the table.
Dad sighed. “I don’t agree with their reasoning, but I understand it. There are players on the team who are counting on this exposure to be noticed by the NFL. Regardless of who Johnny is off the field, by any account he’s a hell of a ball player. That shouldn’t matter more than Annika’s assault. That’s not always the world we live in.”
“Sebastian’s counting on that exposure.”
My dad’s pale eyes softened. “I understand, sweetheart. Caring about him, wanting what’s best for him, doesn’t make you a bad friend to Annika.” He stared at his files and crossed his arms. “I’m not sure what I would have done in his place at his age.”
“I was convinced you were going to hate him.” My throat tightened and a thin sheen of tears coated my vision.
He came to the kitchen table and sat in the chair beside me, so our knees almost touched. He took my hands and held them in his own. “Do you hate him?”
I shook my head. “No, but sometimes hating him would be easier.”
“Hate, like love, is complicated.” He dropped my hands and leaned into the chair. “I didn’t tell you this because I was annoyed with how you handled Annika’s downward slide into this kind of violence. I also wasn’t certain you’d want to hear it.”
“Are you going to tell me now?”
He gave a half smile. “When I spoke to Sebastian and your name came up, he thanked me for raising such a strong, independent woman. He said he’d never met anyone like you before, and he admired how you were standing by your friend.”
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