Saving Us: A novel of love and friendship (Northern University Book 1)

by Wendy Million

  Chapter Forty-One

  Sebastian drove with one hand while the other kept a firm grasp on my leg. I rested mine on top of his. At the address Clay had given me, he turned into the parking lot. I’d told Clay I could handle Dawnesha on my own. Small white lie. Telling him the truth in a text was awkward. Even more awkward in person.

  “You want me to come in?”

  “No. What happened between her and Johnny might have soured her on football players.”

  “She might not recognize me.”

  I rolled my eyes and patted his arm. “You’re Sebastian Swan. That name has been whispered across campus by legions of women and adoring fans.”

  “Ah, you’re busting out the legions of women? That’s a pretty firm no to me coming in.”

  “I’ll call or text you if I need you.”

  “Well, I’m not leaving this parking lot until you come out.”

  “Bed in the rear is comfortable.” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. Seeing him looking so tired made my heart hurt.

  “Better suited to things other than sleeping.” Sebastian drew me toward him for another kiss.

  Part of me wished we were some place more private when I pressed myself closer. Not that a lack of privacy stopped us in the commuter lot. Reluctantly, I broke the kiss and opened my door. The semi-detached house was in the older section of the city. The pale blue siding had seen better days, but the rest of the property was in good shape. A white door off the driveway was newly painted. I double-checked the unit number on my phone and knocked.

  It didn’t take long for someone to approach the door. When it swung open, an attractive black woman stared at me with an inquisitive expression. She was dressed in sweats, but her hair and makeup were immaculate.

  I smiled. “I’m looking for Dawnesha Taylor?”

  She frowned and then narrowed her eyes. “Why’s that?”

  “Are you Dawnesha?”

  “Depends. Are you trying to sell me something?”

  I laughed. “No, I’m not selling anything.” My smile faded. “I’m actually here about Johnny McDade.”

  “Ah.” A partial smile tilted her lips. “You looked familiar.” She examined me from head to toe. “Sebastian Swan’s girlfriend. You’re friends with that girl Johnny beat.”

  I sucked in a breath.

  “So, whose side are you on?” she asked.

  Bewildered, I stared at her for a moment. My brain faltered at the implication I’d be on any side but Annika’s. I hadn’t expected her to be so upfront.

  “Oh, yeah. I heard all about that. I’m surprised no one came here earlier.”

  “You could have come forward.” I tried to keep the annoyance out of my voice.

  Dawnesha shrugged, and then a shiver raced through her. “You wanna come in? It’s cold out here.”

  I followed her through the narrow hallway and into a more open living room. The house was broken up into several small rooms, like older houses tended to be. Considering I’d turned up unexpectedly, the place was tidy.

  “You want a drink or something?” Dawnesha asked when we passed the galley kitchen.

  “No, thanks.” I scanned her photos on the walls and tables.

  She sat on the couch in the cozy living room and reached for her water, which was sitting beside a gossip magazine. I took the recliner, resting my hands on my knees. I wasn’t sure if I should just jump in or try to do this with some subtlety.

  She cradled the glass between her hands and cocked her head. “So, why are you here?”

  I cleared my throat. “Johnny beat my friend. Really badly. I’m trying to figure out whether people should have seen this coming.”

  She raised her eyebrows and set her water on the coffee table. “You want to know if he beat me?”

  My hands clenched in my lap, but I forced myself to meet her gaze. “Yes.”

  “Twice. He hit me twice.” She crossed her arms. “But I had other injuries sometimes. The first time he left a mark, I believed it was an accident. We were out with friends and another guy got grabby. Then, Johnny got grabby with me on the way home. He bruised my wrists and upper arms. We got into a terrible fight. Our first one. Not our last.” She took a deep breath. “Forever ago and just yesterday.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “Reliving this must be hard.” I rubbed my thighs. “Had he hurt himself at that point? Was he taking any medication?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “But I see what you’re getting at. He tried to get me to sign a nondisclosure about those pills when we broke up.”

  I sat forward. “So, he understood what he was taking was bad?”

  Dawnesha laughed and rolled her eyes. “Nothing went in that man’s body without his knowledge. He and his parents tried to offer me a shit-ton of money to sign the agreement. But it also said I couldn’t ever talk about the abuse. I come from a good family. I wasn’t having that shit on my conscience.”

  “You realized there would be others?”

  Her jaw hardened, and she nodded. “How could there not? He had a temper, and those drugs just made it worse.”

  “But you got out.”

  She grabbed her water off the table and took a long drink before answering. “No, I didn’t get out. I was removed. My older brother saw my bruises and told my parents. They stopped paying my tuition. They yanked me out of school and into a counseling program for battered women.” She flicked her hair over her shoulders. “I’ve always considered them assholes for doing that.” She set her glass back down. “Then I heard about your friend.”

  I laced my hands together, twisting my fingers in intricate patterns, and willed my brain to keep the images of Annika at bay. “Whoever did it left her in an alley.”

  “I’ve been devouring anything I could find. Is she—will she be okay?”

  I nodded. “As okay as anyone ever is after something like that.”

  Dawnesha sank deeper into the couch and put her head back. “It coulda been me.”

  “Why didn’t you press charges or lay a complaint?”

  Sitting forward, she said, “I did. Well, neither of those things. But I have an active restraining order against him.”

  “You do?” Troy and Gabby hinted at something similar, but I didn’t realize it was still active.

  “Yeah. Once I said no to the NDA, he started stalking me. He’d show up at my house, outside my classes, at my job. Without the nondisclosure, he worried I’d screw him over.” She laughed. “Turns out he might be right about that.”

  “The police are investigating Johnny. My father is helping them. Would you be willing to speak to him or the cops? Both?”

  Pursing her lips, she stared at me for a beat. “Have you thought this through? I mean, the drugs make the coach look terrible, but they provide an attorney with an excuse, if you get what I’m saying.”

  “But you just said he was violent with you before he ever injured himself. He wasn’t taking the pills then, right?”

  “That’s true. He wasn’t taking them when we first started dating, the first few times he accidentally hurt me.” She took a deep breath. “But the two times he hit me—I mean laid into me—it was right after he took a double dose of those pills.”

  I sucked in a deep breath. Worry created tiny pinpricks across my skin. “A lawyer would argue—”

  “Exactly,” she said. “It’s why I didn’t come forward. Without the pills, he’s a violent asshole. With the pills, he’s a violent asshole with a reason.”

  My brain ticked so quickly I wasn’t sure I was conscious of the thoughts flicking through it. I needed to talk this through with someone. My dad made the most sense, but Sebastian was also outside waiting.

  “He would have abused Annika, regardless.”

  “Yeah, probably,” Dawnesha said. “Would she have ended up beaten in an alley without those pills? I’m not so sure about that.”

  Frustration whistled through me like a boiling kettle. I wanted to scream FUCK at the top of my lungs. I co
vered my face with my hands. If there was a good chance Johnny would get off, I didn’t want Sebastian picking me. He was going to throw away his football career on a principle.

  “There are other girls,” Dawnesha said quietly.

  Raising my head, I frowned. “Other girls?”

  She held up her hands. “Nothing I can prove and no names. But when I came back to campus after being in counseling, I had a girl show up on my doorstep. She said Johnny raped her at a frat party. She asked if that’s why I left campus. If he’d raped me too.”

  “Oh, my God.” I breathed out the words. My heart pounded in my chest. “He never—”

  “No, he never raped me. He was violent, aggressive, possessive, but he never forced himself on me. But, Natalie, when he was in a rage…I only saw it twice, but it was terrifying. He broke my rib.”

  I rubbed my hands down my face. A cold sweat sprouted under my armpits. “He knows what those pills do to him. He must realize they turn him into this terrible person.”

  Dawnesha nodded. “He once told me fucking up someone else’s life was better than screwing up his own.”

  “So he was fine with any collateral damage as long as he could still play football.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Would you testify to this?”

  “Yeah, of course.” She sighed. “Look, I’m no legal expert. But if I can believe anything I see on TV, a good lawyer can pin this on the coach.”

  “The coach values loyalty. Guess we’ll see how loyal Johnny is. I’ll talk to my dad.” I rose from my seat and put my hands in my coat pockets. “I don’t know what will happen. But I trust his judgment. I’m sure he’ll be around to speak to you himself.” I passed her a piece of paper. “Here’s my cell in case you think of anything else or change your mind about my dad.”

  She walked me to her door. “I’m fine to chat with your dad. Just make sure you understand what you’re doing. It’d be a shame if he got off for this. He’s aware of what he becomes on those pills. He doesn’t care—it’s football first.”

  As I strode over to the SUV, Dawnesha watched me from the door. I climbed in, taking in Sebastian’s sleeping form. He looked so peaceful. Every part of me wanted to keep him, but if Johnny wouldn’t suffer the consequences of his rage, it was unfair to make Sebastian stay, to risk his dream, to let Johnny take one more thing from someone I loved.

  Out the window, Dawnesha gave me a brief wave before closing her door. I sat for another minute, contemplating what I’d say to Sebastian. I shook him awake.

  “Nattie?” He looked confused. He rubbed his eyes and put his seat into an upright position. “How’d it go?”

  Taking a deep breath, I said, “You picked the wrong team.”

  Chapter Forty-Two

  We argued on the way to my house. Around in circles we went about what was best for him versus what was best for us as a couple.

  “If the pills come out, he’ll get off,” I said again to emphasize my point. “Even if they have enough to charge him, none of this will be as bad for him as it should be.”

  We were in my parking lot now, and Sebastian let out a frustrated huff. “My choice is made. I wouldn’t have left you in the first place if you hadn’t told me we couldn’t have a relationship. I never wanted to go, but you said if I was siding with the team, I was siding against you. That’s what you said.”

  “That’s how I felt. I thought you’d find out things about the case. You’d overhear, or they’d tell you.”

  “And I’d have to keep quiet.”

  “Yes,” I said. “If you were keeping your career intact, that’s what you’d have to do. I understood it. I didn’t like it, but I understood.” We sat in silence for a beat. “Sebastian, if Johnny goes to the NFL, if the coach doesn’t get fired—you might never play football again. Even if you think you’re okay with that, I’m not.”

  “It’s not gonna come to that.” His voice was firm. “You have the audio of Coach. For Johnny to get off, assuming he’s arrested, he’ll have to roll on Coach. Right?”

  I scanned Sebastian’s profile, trying to read him. “Yeah, I think so.”

  “We can work this out. One of them will go down. We’ll have to see how everything falls together or falls apart. But I’m not leaving you, Nat. I’m not. I’m done with that.”

  “You’re going to persevere the hell out of it?”

  “Yeah, I am. There are angles I can work. I’m sure of it.” His intense gaze met mine.

  “You should call your parents and talk to them. They understand how hard you’ve worked. You need an objective person.”

  He laughed. “My parents aren’t objective. They want what’s best for me, always.”

  “Well, then maybe they’ll be able to help you figure out what that is.”

  “What’s best for me is you. I know this. No one needs to tell me. I don’t care what they say. I don’t care what you argue. You’re not pushing me away.” He took a deep breath and grabbed my hand. “Unless this is just a way for you to get rid of me.”

  “Oh, God. Sebastian. No. I love you. I love you so much. But this could be a life-changing decision. You didn’t do anything wrong, but you might end up paying the biggest price.”

  He stared at our two hands, the dark and the light mixing. Linked together, I’d always felt so safe.

  “I’ll call them,” he said. “You going in to talk to your dad?”

  “Yeah, his car’s in the lot here.” I pointed to where it sat. “You’ll come in after you’re done talking to them?”

  For a minute, he didn’t say anything. “I’m serious about this. You need to hear me. I’m not calling them to see whether I should be with you. This is what I’m doing, and that’s what I’m telling them. I’m with you. They can help me sort out my options if things go badly.”

  Tears welled up in my eyes, and I stared at the roof of the car, willing them not to fall. “I don’t want you to be hurt by this too.” My voice was thick with unshed tears.

  “Come here.” Sebastian used our linked fingers to drag me across him. He pushed my hair back. “It’s you and me, Nattie. We’re doing this. I love you, okay?”

  I curled on his lap and buried my face into him, breathing in his scent. My heart raced in my chest, but it wasn’t from anxiety. Being this close brought my body to life. Lights switched on in a dark house. One after another, I became distinctly aware of each part of me responding to his proximity.

  When I drew away, he kissed me, long and deep. His hands burrowed into my hair, locking me into place. There was nowhere else I wanted to be except with him, always with him.

  Sitting across from my dad, I stared at the papers strewn on the coffee table. When I glanced up, having told him almost everything, his thoughtfulness startled me. Anger or resignation would have been his normal reactions.

  “He’ll get off, right?” I sighed.

  “Not sure. You can’t be certain either.” He steepled his fingers. “Look, Natalie. If you want to be in the justice system, then part of that is doing what you’ve done. You dig. Sometimes, what you turn up isn’t what you’d want for your case. This one is personal, so it’s different for us. Normally, I remind myself, when I find something which goes against my case, that my job isn’t to determine guilt or innocence. My role is to get to the truth. I seek the truth.”

  “The truth is that he knew those pills would make him violent, and he took them anyway.”

  “Unless Johnny comes out and says those words, it’ll be his word against Dawnesha and anyone else who might have known.”

  “What about the other girls Dawnesha mentioned?” I asked. “Clay said there were rumors, Dad, about Johnny abusing other women. There must be something there too.”

  “Usually smoke means fire, but not always.” He tapped his pen on the table. It was a habit I often found annoying.

  A knock sounded on the door. I glanced at my dad, gauging his reaction. “That’ll be Sebastian.”

  Dad pursed his lips. “You trust him? H
e’ll understand a lot about this case if he’s around here now.”

  “I trust him. Completely.”

  My dad nodded and went to answer the door before I could rise. When the door opened, Sebastian’s startled expression was clear from my position on the couch. He must have expected me.

  “Sir—”

  “I hear you’re playing for our side now.” My dad offered a small smile.

  “I am.” Sebastian nodded.

  Dad moved aside to let Sebastian in. The corners of Sebastian’s lips tipped up when he glanced at me. Despite his nap in the SUV earlier, he looked tired.

  “What did your parents say?” I asked as he took a seat beside me. I resisted the urge to snuggle into him once he plopped down. Instead, he rested his palm on my leg, and I covered it with mine.

  “A lot.” A dark laugh escaped. “We’ll chat about it later, okay?” He sucked in a deep breath. “I called my sister too.”

  Scanning his face, I wished my dad wasn’t there. But my dad was in detective mode since he had a cooperative player. Even if he was one who didn’t possess important details.

  “What’s your gut instinct on what happened that night?” Dad asked Sebastian without any preamble.

  Sebastian raised his eyebrows and shifted. Though he’d told me he was on board, I wondered if his conversation with his family might have changed things a bit.

  “I have no proof.” Sebastian met my dad’s gaze.

  “I realize that. I’m looking for direction. None of the players are talking. The fact Natalie got Troy to record the coach is a step down the right path.”

  Sebastian gave a curt nod. “I’ve got no love for either of these guys. If you say this came from me, that’ll be their defense. But Theo and Jeff were involved. I don’t know how.”

  “Why do you think that?” Dad asked.

  “Before this, before Annika was beaten, Johnny and I spent a lot of time together. A lot. If I wasn’t with your daughter, sir, I was with him. But ever since that night, he’s been spending his time with Theo and Jeff. The three of them huddle up on the field, in other places, having intense conversations. They’re never joking around.”