Tempted: The Numb MC

by Olivia Stephens

  Kristina nodded. “I know you’re right,” she nodded. “I do… it’s just…”

  Kristina felt her mind whirling with new realizations, and she wished she were alone so that she could absorb them properly. She had convinced herself that she and Keith were temporary and that much was true, but the realization was that she wished that wasn’t the case. She wished that they would have an actual, real relationship, or at least an attempt at one. Kristina felt her heart sink as she realized that it wasn’t just their differences that stood between them, it was Natalie’s invisible presence.

  Keith’s love for her was potent, and Kristina knew that she couldn’t compete with the memory of his lost love. He had to want to move on for her to have any chance at all. Still, Kristina reminded herself that Keith was with her. He had been for the last week, and he had made sure that she was safe. She was fairly certain he would never have tried that hard for someone for whom he had absolutely no feelings. She felt a nugget of hope rise inside her, and as hard as she tried to beat it down, the feeling just kept rising to the surface, resilient and strong.

  “Kristina?” Marie’s voice cut through her thoughts.

  “Sorry,” Kristina said quickly. “I’m listening.”

  “Look, all I’m trying to tell you is this: have your experience, but don’t forget you have a different path laid out for you, just don’t forget who you are.”

  Kristina nodded, but she didn’t say anything. She knew that she couldn’t begin to explain to Marie that she had missed the point entirely. How could she forget whom she was, when she had no idea who that was in the first place?

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Keith

  The auto shop was quiet when he first walked in. He made a beeline towards the back room where meetings were usually held only to find the whole gang congregated there. He pushed his way in and walked towards the front of the room where Miles sat.

  “You called a meeting and forgot to tell me?”

  “There’s no meeting,” Miles replied. “We were just discussing a few things… I figured you would be with Kristina anyhow.”

  “I was,” Keith replied.

  “How is she?” Tucker asked.

  “She’s… fine,” Keith replied. “Stressed obviously… she’s not used to being in this kind of situation.”

  “Did she tell you that I spoke to her a little while ago?” Miles asked.

  Keith turned to look at him. “No, she didn’t mention that. You would have called after I had left her,” he said. “What did you call to tell her?”

  “I told her that it was best she stopped working for Seton and Lee,” Miles explained. “I told her that in the interest of her safety, it would be best if she wasn’t seen here at all.”

  Keith let that absorb, and then he nodded. “What did she say?”

  “She said that if I wanted to fire her I had every right to,” Miles replied. “But she also added that it didn’t matter because if she stopped by Seton and Lee she would be with you.”

  “Oh,” Keith said at a loss for words. He was so caught up in his own situation that it took a moment for him to realize that he was getting side-glances from the rest of the crew. “What?” Keith asked defensively when it came to his attention.

  They looked away immediately, but Keith knew that there was something they were not saying out loud. He wondered for a moment if they had been discussing that just before he had walked in and disrupted the conversation. “You know I don’t like games,” Keith said through gritted teeth. “So one of you bastards better tell me what’s going on right now.”

  “Whoa… cool it man,” Tucker said immediately. “We’re just looking out for you.”

  “What does that mean?” Keith asked pointedly. “Tell it to me straight.”

  Tucker glanced around, readying himself with the explanation, but it was Miles who ended up speaking. “Listen, Keith,” he started as he rose and placed his hand on Keith’s shoulder. “I know I don’t have to remind you but… we don’t want a repeat of what happened last time.”

  “And you think I do?” Keith demanded furiously.

  “Hey,” Miles said calmly. “We’re on your side here. No one is saying you don’t give a shit, but we are suggesting that you might be a little blind to the situation.”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Kristina doesn’t know how this shit goes down,” Miles said in the same slow tone. “She’s not used to men like us.”

  “I know all this, Miles,” Keith said through gritted teeth, trying to keep his emotions in check before he exploded in front of all of them.

  “All our families know our situation,” Miles went on. “They know what they got themselves into when they chose to be with us… I don’t think Kristina does however.”

  “Would you believe me if I said she did?” Keith demanded.

  Miles smiled. “All I’m saying is… try and keep Kristina as far away from here as possible.”

  “You know what happened with your previous old lady right?” Mattie said gruffly.

  Keith wanted to scream, but he knew Mattie, and he knew that his words weren’t meant to wound or insult. He took a deep breath and tried to contain his anger. “Ok,” he said slowly. “I get it… I know what you guys are trying to tell me… but the fact is this is not the same. It’s not the same as the last time.”

  “What makes this different?” Miles asked.

  “Kristina is not Natalie,” Keith insisted, wondering why he sounded as though he were trying to convince himself. “And she and I are not in a relationship.” Keith didn’t miss the incredulous glances that passed between the crew. “You don’t believe me?” he demanded.

  “Can you expect us to?” Miles asked calmly. “You’re not just sleeping with her Keith, you’re spending time with the girl. Why would you do that if she was just some girl you fucked one time? Listen… call her what you want, if you don’t want to refer to her as your old lady or your girlfriend or your… fuck-buddy… that’s fine. But don’t forget that it doesn’t matter what you call her… Kovic will come for her all the same.”

  “He’s doing all this just to piss me off,” Keith said with loathing coloring his tone.

  “This war has always been a personal one,” Miles agreed. “And it’s about time we settle it… once and for all.”

  A murmur went through the crew, and Keith knew they would support him a hundred percent in this upcoming fight. He felt his rage ebb slightly as the bonds of brotherhood took hold and he remembered why he joined the Iron Dragons in the first place. It wasn’t just because he loved Miles or his father; it was because he felt like he belonged somewhere for the first time in his life. That was what gave him the courage to confront his father; it was the knowledge that he had support if he needed it. He had help if he asked for it, and he had the backing even if he didn’t.

  “I know,” Keith nodded. “You’re right. It’s time we settle this and stop Kovic… once and for all.”

  Soon after, the group dispersed and Keith moved towards the auto shop where his bike had just finished a service. He was checking it through when Tucker moved past him.

  “You off then?” Keith asked as Tucker passed him.

  “Yeah,” Tucker nodded. “Gonna go pick up Melanie.”

  “It’s going well, huh?” Keith asked.

  “Really well,” Tucker said with a wink. “She might be the one.”

  “You said that about the last girl,” Keith reminded him. “And the one before that.”

  Tucker waved off that statement as though it meant nothing. “I was blind before Melanie… but now I can see clearly.”

  “You’re not going to burst into song are you?” Keith teased.

  Tucker smiled. “I’ll resist the urge.”

  “Does she know?” Keith asked, knowing Tucker would understand his meaning.

  “She knows,” Tucker nodded. “Not the details… but the dangers she’s aware of.”

  “And she’s prepa
red to deal with that?” Keith asked, feeling his curiosity being fueled by his own agendas.

  “She’s a strong woman, man,” Tucker said with pride. “And she wants to be with me. It’s going to be an adjustment, but no one ever said relationships were easy.”

  He waved goodbye and took off on his own bike, leaving Keith to ponder the thought. Relationships weren’t easy; he knew that first hand; and yet, he still couldn’t help picturing what a real, full-blown relationship would be like with Kristina. In this case, he had nothing to compare it to because he didn’t know what that would feel like. Natalie was a different kind of woman, and she had come from a world that was similar to Keith’s.

  Kristina, however, was a completely different story. She had come from a world with rich, educated parents, good schools, and little else but the simple dramas of high school as entertainment growing up. Keith did not think that diminished her in any way, instead he felt that it made her more pure, more unpredictable, more desired.

  It had not escaped Keith’s awareness that he thought about Kristina far more than was healthy. If it was simply a matter of her body, he could have easily discounted that fact. Thinking about a woman’s legs and breasts and lips were normal, at least for Keith, but thinking about her in any other capacity was dangerous. Keith had taken to imagining random moments with Kristina… just moments of intimacy that were totally removed from sex. He felt that warm feeling grow in the pit of his belly, and he hated having to shove it down and remind himself that he had no right to feel such things.

  Still, despite how hard he tried, Keith couldn’t stop imagining it… the picture of him and Kristina as a couple. He wondered what that would be like, if their differences would end up breaking them apart, or if by some miracle it wouldn’t matter in the end. For a second, he let himself imagine it. He imagined a small apartment and a meal sitting on the table in front of the kitchen. He imagined Kristina dancing around the kitchen while he helped her, following her instructions as though his life depended on it.

  It was strange how easy it was for Keith to imagine the domestic scene. He had no idea that the image in his head was one he had ever really desired in the first place. He had experienced small moments like that with Natalie, but that kind of normalcy did not belong to them. They had never been that kind of couple.

  Keith was still thinking of strange domestic scenes that had no place in his life when he pulled up at his mother’s house. He found Emma sitting by the television, watching some old game show that had probably been off the air for a while. He fell into the seat beside her without a word and stared at the screen without seeing anything. He could feel his mother’s eyes on him, and after a moment, she turned off the television and looked at him pointedly, as though she had just asked him a question and she was waiting for the answer.

  “What?” Keith asked tiredly.

  “You seem sad,” Emma said.

  “Sad?” Keith said with surprise.

  “Yes,” Emma nodded firmly. “Why is that?”

  Keith took a moment. “Just… you know… life.”

  “Life?” Emma asked with one raised eyebrow. “Does that translate to Kristina?”

  Keith looked away from his mother. She had the kind of eyes that made you feel like you had to spill your guts whether you wanted to or not. “I don’t want to talk about it, Mom,” Keith said as exhaustion tinged his voice.

  Emma sighed, but she nodded. “Alright then,” she said. “What would you like to talk about?”

  Keith looked at her in surprise, and then he smiled. “Remember my ninth birthday?”

  Emma laughed. “Of course I remember your ninth birthday… it was probably the best day. Arnold was away for God knows what reason and it was just you and me.”

  “You took me into the city,” Keith said as he remembered the day.

  “And we went to the carnival,” Emma nodded. “And the aquarium…”

  “And we ate hot dogs and cotton candy in the park,” Keith finished.

  “The moment we got home you threw up,” Emma reminded him.

  “And you still let me have cake while we watched the movie,” Keith said.

  “I did,” Emma nodded. “It didn’t seem right not to have birthday cake on your birthday.”

  “That was a great day,” Keith nodded. “It was… surreal… like a moment out of someone else’s life.”

  “Did it feel that way to you?” Emma asked with curiosity.

  “Yeah,” Keith nodded. “The whole day I kept waiting for someone to walk up to us and tell us we didn’t belong there. I kept waiting for people to point and shake their heads at us. I kept waiting for someone to realize that we were imposters.”

  “You felt like an imposter?” Emma asked.

  “I felt as though that kind of day belonged to a different type of person,” Keith said struggling with his explanation. “Someone… with a future.”

  “You have a future, son,” Emma said softly.

  “Not really,” Keith said, shaking his head. “What I have is a gang… what I have is a crime business that will one day be usurped. And that’s ok… I’ll still be fine once it’s all over. I’ll ride my bike from town to town, taking odd jobs and living in cheap motels till I’m old and gray. I just don’t know that that constitutes a future.”

  Emma looked at him with so much sadness in her eyes that Keith couldn’t bear to sit there any longer. He laid a kiss on her forehead and rose from the sofa. “I’ll see you soon, Mom,” he said, as he made his way to the door.

  “Goodnight, son,” Emma replied, and he could almost hear the regret and guilt in her voice.

  “Ma?” Keith said before he left.

  “Yes?”

  “You were a good mother, you know,” Keith said softly, knowing she would hear him. “The very best.”

  Emma’s eyes were bright with tears. “Thank you, son,” she replied.

  Keith rode home with his head full of thoughts of his childhood. Every now and again an image of Kristina would pierce through, and he would fall back into the present. He was at the threshold of his door when he noticed an envelope sticking under the crack of his door. Keith bent down and pulled it out without bothering to enter his apartment first.

  He tore the seal and pulled out the piece of paper nestled inside it. He stared down at the image on the paper. It was clear as day…a picture of Kristina as she left a class. There were no words written there, but the threat was clear. An unspoken promise had been made. The gauntlet had well and truly been thrown to the ground.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Kristina

  “Hi, Mom,” Kristina said, as the dial tone gave way to the sound of gentle breathing.

  “Hello?”

  “Mom?”

  “Who is this?” Lillian Reilly replied in her curt, business-like voice.

  Kristina had to swallow back her retort. She took a deep breath and softened her tone. “Who else calls you Mom?” Kristina asked, trying to keep her voice level.

  “Kristina?” her mother’s voice rose slightly. “Sorry darling, the line isn’t clear. Let me move inside.”

  Kristina listened, as she heard movement on the other line before the line crystalized into clarity. “There we go,” her mother said. “That’s better.”

  “You can hear me now?”

  “Perfectly,” Lillian replied. “How are you?”

  “Good,” Kristina said. “I just… well it’s been a while since we spoke… so I thought I’d call and… have a chat.”

  “Have a chat,” Lillian repeated, as though she were amused by the idea. “How lovely… you caught me at a good time, too.”

  “Lucky me,” Kristina said, struggling to contain the sarcasm in her tone.

  She was surprised at how strangely resentful she was all of a sudden. She shouldn’t have been surprised however; she had always had that kind of relationship with both her parents. Whenever there was distance between them, Kristina saw only the good things about them, but
whenever a conversation needed to be held, all the little resentments that she had bottled up during her childhood came tumbling to the surface, clamoring to be addressed.

  “How are things?” Lillian asked, oblivious to Kristina’s mental struggle. “How’s school?”

  “School is good,” Kristina answered automatically. “Finals are coming up.”