Worthy of Me

by Ramnath, Yajna

  Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful, hell people from the bigger cities would descend upon the town during holiday season. It was the people and the memories tied to the place that made me hate it so much.

  “No wonder you looked familiar!” I heard a snide cackling laugh.

  I turned around to find Rebecca with her hands on her hips. As usual she had a haughty air about her. The girl next to her frowned at her. She was a blonde with blue eyes and expensive taste. I mean expensive because she had knee high leather boots with a plaid mini skirt and a jacket that seemed to cost more than a house.

  “Haley,” Rebecca turned to the runway model. “This is Mia Scott, she works at Aiden’s bar.”

  Haley’s eyes snapped to mine and she took me in, when her gaze fell to my clothing I watched relief sag her shoulders. She dismissed me within seconds. “He’s good to work for.”

  “He is,” I said.

  “Your accent is different,” Haley stated.

  I wanted to say ‘no shit, Sherlock’ but Rebecca beat me to it.

  “She’s from South Africa,” Rebecca sneered. “You remember how many things we’ve heard about that place?”

  I tilted my head at Rebecca and gave her a look of pity. “I knew you were one of those girls who could be easily swayed.”

  “Excuse me?” Rebecca looked at me with rage.

  “You heard me, now I have no idea what your issue with me is, but I have no time for teenage drama,” I turned to walk around them when Rebecca grabbed my arm. Her nails dug into the flesh sparking my own anger.

  “You need to stay away from Aiden!” Rebecca gritted.

  I caught a glimpse of a very confused Haley. Grabbing Rebecca's fingers I twisted them at an angle making her shriek in pain and letting go of me immediately. I got in her face and made sure her gaze latched onto mine.

  “Don’t you ever touch me again! I am not above damaging that pretty face of yours. You want me to stay away from Aiden? You ask nicely,” I paused tilting my head I watched as she cradled her injured her hand. “Although, now that you’ve messed with me? staying away from Aiden is the last thing I’ll do.”

  I made a hasty exit and headed over to Kingston. Veronica took one look at me and rushed over to my side.

  “What happened? You look flushed!”

  I shook my head. “Nothing. Guess I figured out what Rebecca's problem was.”

  Veronica narrowed her eyes. “Let me guess, she asked you to stay away from Aiden?”

  “How’d you know?”

  Veronica rolled her eyes. “Rebecca doesn’t do anything on her own. She is the true version of blonde bimbo. The only she’s good for is taking orders from her best friend…”

  “Haley?” I asked.

  “That’s the one. Haley has had a thing for Aiden since a few years ago when he attended Tech. Haley carried a torch for him and followed him around like a puppy. Of course Aiden didn’t see that. so she’s been friend-zoned for the last three years while he’s slept his way through most of Houghton.”

  I raised my brows. I had no idea Aiden had that type of rep. he seemed like the good-natured guy that helped everyone and got taken advantage of. He made it sound that way. I made my way to the back room and changed into my uniform slipping the tight Kingston t-shirt over my long-sleeve. I had a habit of analysing people. It was something I got good at.

  From a young age I was always ignored. People knew I was there, but they didn’t really care. My parents fought in front of me, my sisters made their plans while I sat in the corner of a room, my friends spoke about me thinking I couldn’t hear them and of course, I saw things. Lots of things I probably shouldn’t have seen.

  After having my heart literally crushed into a pulp when I was fourteen it got easier to function without any feelings, I became the one person they couldn’t take down. No matter what the guys said about me while I walked passed, no matter how loud the girls laughed when I entered a class, and no matter how demeaning the rumours about me spread… I still held my head up high. I still powered through.

  Looking at my face in the mirror, I realised that in the last nine years I came a long way. I will not let anything get me down now. I had a life. I had a job. I had a career to work on. For the first time, I was making friends.

  Haley and Rebecca were not going to come in the way of that. As for Aiden… he was a topic I wasn’t going to explore. Not for a while.

  Chapter Five

  I fell into a perfect routine over the last two weeks. I woke up, went to Tech, worked at Kingston and then got home to cook dinner and study. Aiden and I were comfortable around each other. After that scene in the bathroom, I finally learnt to lock the door while I was in there. I made sure I carried all my clothes and was fully dressed by the time I left. Aiden had a few girls over and things got a bit—loud. I made good use of my headphones during those times.

  Dianna and I became fast friends. We went shopping and spoke a lot about almost everything and anything. And when I say almost everything… I mean nothing personal from my side at all.

  “So you’ve never spoke about your family from SA… like ever,” Dianna said while stirring her coffee.

  “I don’t… I wasn’t… I’m not, uh, close with them,” I stammered.

  “Oh,” Dianna nodded. “I get it. My mom and I could never see eye to eye once I started filling out.”

  I frowned. “What do you mean?”

  Dianna pushed a bit of her red hair behind her ears and swallowed some coffee before responding. “She felt intimidated by me. She always competed with me. If I bought an outfit she would get a similar one just to try and out do me. She once went so far as to destroying a dress I had saved up for. She hit on my boyfriends and hated when I got any compliments about my looks.”

  My mouth hung open. That was one thing I couldn’t say about my mom. No matter our problems, she never tried to upstage me. I think the only time my mom tried to upstage me was with her drinking. She always felt the need to prove that she could drink down an entire bottle faster than anyone—she didn’t realise she was winning another competition at the same time… making a spectacle of herself faster than anyone too.

  “But why would she need to so stuff like that?” I asked Dianna getting back to our conversation.

  “My dad left her after I turned eighteen. He never loved her at all. He only married her because she fell pregnant with me. She knew that because he always reminded her of that. They had separate rooms, and she knew that he was getting his sex elsewhere,” Dianna shrugged. “The reason she hates me was because she tried to trap him. She apparently lied about being on birth control and fell pregnant with me, she had a plan and it failed. Dad showered with me with all of his attention, gifts, love and we were inseparable.”

  A pain started in my chest. Not out of compassion for Dianna. I had stopped caring about others’ feelings a few years back—it never gets you anywhere, anyway. The pain started in my chest because I never got that from my father. I never got to grow up with him showering love and gifts on me. It was more about life lessons and how to be an ideal person who makes something of themselves. I had to learn how to do without things because you had to earn it. My relationship with my father up till today was more like a transaction. If I needed something and he deemed it important enough, then he’d send me money. I had tried over the last year to keep some sort of relationship with him through texting but that became difficult, it’s hard to have a conversation with someone when you knew they really didn’t care about replying immediately or at all.

  “So my mother started hating me. I was proof of her failed attempts to trap my dad. It didn’t help that I turned out looking as I do, and it didn’t help that I reached a level of popularity and education she never reached. So, basically my mom does whatever she can to remind me that she hates me.”

  I nodded at Dianna. “I know all about mothers blaming their kids for something their partners do.”

  Dianna cocked her head to one side
. “Something similar happened to you?”

  “A friend,” I said evenly. “A friend of mine watched her family break apart and got abandoned by both parents. Turns out her mother preferred to take out her pain on m—my friend instead of deal with it on her own.”

  Dianna’s face coloured with sympathy. “Parents never realise that their actions are what shape their kids lives. If I didn’t have my dad there to teach me differently, I would’ve turned out exactly like my mother did. I would’ve sentenced my kid to a similar lifestyle thinking it was right.”

  I chuckled. “You know, as much as kids out there say they don’t want to be like their parents, somehow or the other they turn out to have a certain trait that they do follow.”

  “Yeah,” Dianna grinned. “Mine would be my father’s ability to love and my mom’s ability to appreciate self worth. Yours?”

  I paused, looking down. “I inherited one trait from both my parents. The one thing they didn’t realise they had in common.”

  “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

  I smiled at Dianna. “The ability to be utterly and completely selfish.”

  ***

  Eight Years Earlier…

  I could never understand the need for her to drink. I couldn’t understand my dad’s need to stay away from me. I mean what the hell did I do? I spent most of my first year as a teenager and highschooler, questioning my parents’ motives. Why didn’t they care enough about me?

  I called my dad today and asked him whether he could come see me. It’s been more than six months and I hadn’t seen him even once. My uncles came around to pick up the rest of his belongings, so I knew he wasn’t coming back home. That was fine. I preferred my parents apart than together anyway. It was always a battlefield when they were together anyway. He claimed he was busy with his office. He had things to take care of and that as soon as he had some free time he would come and see me.

  He often told me the same thing when it came to phone calls. “I will call you later, I promise.” Later came but his phone call didn’t. I managed to come out first in my class, and that was amazing. My mom of course ran around telling everyone that she’s such a good parent that no matter what people said about her, that she was a good mother. Honestly? I would never deny that, she was an excellent mother…whenever she was sober.

  Dad on the other hand was proud that I came out first but of course he criticised my percentages. He wanted to know why I couldn’t have done a little better in something. I guess that was him, always trying to remind me that I didn’t really do good, I just did average.

  My mother’s insults were becoming hurtful, her palms were connecting with my face often and Bria was slowly edging away from us once again. I needed help with mom and she said that she had her own family now, mom wasn’t her responsibility.

  But what happened to the fact that mom and dad took her in and helped her get through highschool? What happened to the fact that she and Rea were practically the reason why mom and dad always fought?

  My friend’s mom decided to bring me home today because I waited outside for transport and no one came. I wondered briefly if my mother even remembered that she needed to phone someone and get transport for me. As we turned into the driveway my friend’s mother let out a shocked gasp.

  “Mia? Why is your mother sleeping outside on the floor?”

  I sat up immediately and peeped from the window. It was true my mother in just her super-short shorts and a tank that hung off of her body, was fast asleep on the ground. My friend’s mom got out of the car and tried to wake her. I was stunned and couldn’t move.

  “Emma? You need to wake up now, Mia is home.”

  My mother’s eyes flew open and she scrambled to her feet. Well she tried to, she fell a couple of the times. “No! Don’t go in there! There is something in the house!”

  I blanched. Something in the house? What was she talking about? I took a step to the door but she grabbed me. he long nails dug into my flesh and I knew there would be bruises once she let go.

  “Mom, you’re hurting me,” I whispered.

  But she was too clouded by the alcohol. She didn’t hear anything. She was adamant that some sort of supernatural entity sent by my father’s family was in the house and apparently haunting the couch. She became frantic trying to prove her theory by grabbing onto the couch and plucking at it. From the corner of my eye I watched as my friend and her brother tried to hold in their laughter.

  My friend’s mom decided to try and get her into her bedroom. After a lot of reassurances and consoling, she finally fell off to sleep. As soon as I heard the distinct sound of her snoring, I snatched up my cellphone and called my dad.

  “Yes, Mia?” he sounded mad.

  “Dad, mom’s been saying this strange stuff and she’s acting really scary. Please can I stay by you for the night? I’m really scared.”

  I heard my father sigh. “What is she saying, Mia.”

  I gave him the low down and when asked if she’s drinking I replied with an affirmative.

  “Is she asleep now?”

  “Yes, daddy, please can I come to you?”

  “Mia, as long as she’s asleep you will be okay. Once she wakes up, she will be fine. if there’s any more of her alcohol in the house throw it away. If it gets too bad then go to Bria or go stay at a friend’s house. I have to go now.”

  Without further ado, my dad hung up. I stared at the phone in shock. He knew I couldn’t throw away her alcohol because she would hit me if I did. He knew I couldn’t go to Bria because she didn’t want to have anything to do with me. He knew I couldn’t go to a friend’s house because my mother would be waiting for me the next day with more abuse lined up for me.

  It was that day… that very day that I looked around me and realised that my ‘dad’ had just became my father.

  ***

  Present Day…

  The day progressed without much of a hiccup. The patrons were easy going and the regulars struck up conversations. Aiden was helping Lucas at the bar while I helped the girls with the waitressing. Rebecca no longer worked at Kingston. Her excuse to Aiden was that she felt threatened by the staff. When Aiden questioned us, I just shrugged my shoulders saying I hadn’t had much of a confrontation with her. Veronica backed me up while Dianna had a drink in honour of her departure. Sadly, Rebecca was not missed.

  The bell over the door signalled someone’s entry and I turned to greet them, only to find Haley standing there with her arms folded across her chest.

  “Hey, can I get you a seat?” I asked with a smile on my face.

  Haley glared at me with contempt. “So you’re here too? What are you desperate for Aiden’s attention that you filled in the opening spot immediately?”

  “Actually Aiden asked her to join this establishment, before your minion left due to feeling threatened,” Dianna cut in.

  “Mia isn’t desperate for Aiden’s attention, and why would she be when he showers it on her without her asking,” Veronica continued.

  “And furthermore, you and Rebecca need to get it through your hair-sprayed heads that I am not in any way threatened by the likes of you,” I finished. “Now would like to be seated or do you want to stand there like a watch dog?”

  Haley was fuming. There was no doubt about that. This girl really had it bad for Aiden.

  “I want to see Aiden!” she spat.

  “Well he is busy at the bar as you can see, so run along and find a seat to wait or stand there. Whatever,” I rolled my eyes and moved on.

  A few minutes later I was at the bar getting an order for table two when I heard Haley’s whine.

  “But Aiden, it’s really important!”

  “Not now Haley, I’m busy. I’ll catch you some other time,” Aiden mumbled distractedly while making a drink for a patron.

  “Aiden, come…”

  I walked over and smiled at Haley, ignoring her glare. “Excuse me, Miss, but I think you should either find a seat or leave. As Aiden said, he is busy right
now.”

  Haley opened her mouth to say something but she caught Aiden mouthing a “Thank you” to me with a relieved look on his face. Anger clouded her vision, she took one step towards me and I tilted my head as an invitation. I let her stare into my deep green eyes letting her know that I was prepared for anything she threw my way.

  Haley spun around and stomped her way out of Kingston, slamming the door behind her. I had a feeling that I had just made an enemy.

  Chapter Six

  Aiden’s hands travelled from my ankles up to the tops of my thighs where my sleep shorts protected my most intimate parts. That didn’t deter him from his journey though. Instead he flattened his hand and ran it underneath the material. His fingers caressed my folds through the cotton of my panties making me moan out aloud.

  “You like that?” he rumbled in a deep lust filled voice.

  “Yeah,” I panted like one of those bimbos on a porn video.

  “Then you’re going to love this…”

  He slipped his finger under my panties and touched my—

  I shot up from bed, out of breathe and sweating despite the drop in temperature. I touched my hand to my clammy skin, my sheets twisted around my legs and damp from sweating.

  “What the hell,” I whispered into the silent room.

  The dream was so realistic that I honestly thought I would find Aiden in my bed. This was bad news. Really, really bad news. I had to get him out of my mind. Aiden had given me a home and a job, sleeping with him would just complicate things and make me feel bought at the same time. I had to go out tonight and meet some random guy just for the night.

  Yes. I was going to do exactly that.

  I grabbed my phone off the bedside table and typed out a group text to Dianna, Veronica, Abigail, Lena and Jennifer. The text simply said; Girls night needed. Tnyt!

  I immediately received texts with the affirmative. Tonight I was going to sex aide out of my mind. I blew out a breath and rummaged through my closet for some sweats and a tank. Grabbing my cosmetic bag I headed down the hall to the bathroom. Before I could reach for the knob, the door swung open and so did my mouth.