River James (Rockers Of Steel #3)

by Mj Fields

  “Jordan,” Keanna gasps.

  “He has a humidifier in his room. Let’s hope it …” She pauses and grips the hem of her shirt, and I can’t help chuckling. She looks up at us and giggles. “I’m sure it was fine. Just maybe next time you … um … have a sleepover—”

  “I will be quiet.”

  I look at her and then Natasha. “That ain’t gonna happen. We’ll have them at the beach house.”

  *****

  It took three weeks to exhaust and wear her down, but I finally got my way.

  I move some of the boxes off the bed and into the closet while she is in the bathroom. When she walks out, I am lying down, looking at the ceiling.

  “You okay? Having second thoughts? It’s moved really fast and—”

  I laugh. “It’s been two weeks of pure hell. I have to share you with the other junkies in the world for nine hours a day; that’s enough.” I sit up. “I miss the hell out of you when you’re not here.”

  “But you have Tink.”

  “Now I have you both … until Monday when we take off. I really wish you’d quit your job. I’d hire you to do something. I mean, I’m an addict; it wouldn’t be like you’re not doing what you love. Plus, there’s always this.” I pull her hand over and put it on my dick.

  “I have weekends off,” she says, giving me a squeeze. “I can come and meet you.”

  “In the hotel, on the bus, in the greenroom.” I picture her bent over the back of the couch in one of those fucking rooms.

  “On the stage?”

  I laugh. “What?”

  “I don’t know what it’s gonna be like standing backstage, watching you. I might not be able to control myself.”

  “You better wear a skirt to every fucking concert, then. No one gets to see that ass but me. You know why?”

  She smiles big. “I do.”

  “Tell me why.”

  “It’s yours.”

  “Fucking right it is.”

  I hear the door wiggle and laugh, knowing it’s locked.

  “Two minutes, man.” It’s Finn.

  “Let’s go.” She jumps off the bed as I try to grab her.

  “Just moved in and already running away?” I force myself up.

  She giggles as she runs to the door and unlocks it. “I’m excited to watch the video.”

  I grab her by the hips as she steps out, pulling her back, and whisper in her ear, “Once an addict, always an addict. If I want it, I’ll just take it.”

  “Have I ever denied you?” She looks over her shoulder at me.

  I shake my head.

  “Good thing, because I’m pretty addicted to you, too.”

  “You like the high?” I ask.

  “I love the high.”

  I spin her around and take the lips I once had to beg for.

  When I pull back, I hold her face in my hands. “Best high of my life.”

  We are in upstate New York at the Carrier Dome, the third concert of our tour, and Keanna’s late. I check my phone for the hundredth time and send a message.

  Where the fuck are you?

  No reply comes.

  “Everything okay?” Billy asks.

  “No, she’s late, not answering her text messages, and I …” I stop when my phone plays “So Addicted to You,” my ring tone for her..

  “Where are you?”

  “Did you get the picture?”

  “No. But seriously …” I stop when I hear her sniff. “You sick?”

  “No, Tink’s a mom.” She sniffs again.

  “Yeah, babe, she’s gonna have puppies and—”

  “She’s having them now. She’s had four.”

  She’s fucking crying, and I hate that sound.

  “I can be there in … fuck. Four maybe five—”

  “No!” She laughs and cries. “No, you have a show.”

  “But we’re kind of having babies, babe.” I rub my hand over my head. “Shit. Can you get Natasha there?”

  “She is here, and so is the vet.”

  “Male or female?” I ask.

  “The pups are—”

  “No, the vet.”

  “Are you serious right now?” She snorts, but I know she’s kind of pissed. But I’m kind of serious.

  “Yep.”

  “Part-time vet, part-time male stripper, you ass!”

  I’m pretty sure I just heard her hang up on me.

  “Hello?”

  She doesn’t answer me.

  “Shit.” I dial her back, and as soon as she answers, I say, “I love you.”

  She sighs. “I know.”

  “Okay, so is it really a—”

  “No,” she grumbles.

  “Good, ’cause a show, puppy babies, and a male stripper sound like a bad fucking mix. How is she?”

  “She’s good. She’s doing well,” she says softly. “She’s calmer than I am, and I’m a nurse.”

  “Do you think she understands?”

  “I think her body knows what it’s doing, and yes, I have to think she understands or it’s so—”

  “Wrong.” I sigh. “Fuck, I wish I was there.”

  “You need to go rock the stage, then come home to me.”

  “And rock you.”

  “Yeah.” She is still using that soft voice.

  After hanging up the phone, I look at the guys. “Tink’s giving birth.” I smile. I can’t help it. Shit like that makes me happy now.

  Finn grips my shoulder. “We need cigars.”

  “Right after we rock the fuck out of the”—Memphis grabs his dick—”Dome.”

  “We still do it for us,” Finn says as we stand in our now pre-show ceremonial circle.

  “In the words of the great Eddie Vedder, ‘At a certain point, you realize you have a responsibility more behind yourself and your need for adrenaline.’ “ He winks at me.

  “Jimmy Page once said, ‘I always believed in the music we did, and that’s why it was uncompromising.’ After all we’ve been through, it still holds true.” Finn puts his fist in.

  “Kurt Cobain said, ‘Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with your self-esteem. They’re no good at all.’ Can’t disagree.” I fist in.

  “The beautiful Billie Holiday once said, ‘Sometimes, it’s worse to win a fight than to lose.’ I’m glad that I didn’t fight being a part of this. I never wanted it, but I can tell you all right now that nothing and no one can bring us down. Let’s go fuck shit up.”

  *****

  Three months later…

  “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I say, gripping his hand as tightly as I can.

  He bends down, kisses my forehead, lets go of my hand, and raises his wrist up. “I did it first.” His left wrist is tattooed She’s my addiction in a script font that will match mine.

  He lifts my wrist up, kisses it, and holds it against mine. “I am his drug.”

  I know it means a lot to him, and he means a lot to me.

  I nod. “Let’s do this.”

  “You ready?” Josephina Steel asks.

  “She’s ready, Momma Joe.” He kisses the top of her head, then sits down beside me.

  I look up at the stark white ceiling in a small room in Forever Steel, a tattoo shop that is apparently where it all began for the Steel family.

  I hear the buzzing and close my eyes as I feel the tattoo gun’s needle drag across my skin and feel his breath against my ear right before he leans in to kiss it and asks, “You okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s like a cat scratch.”

  “I promise to take care of you tonight,” he whispers in a mischievous tone.

  “I know you will,” I whisper back.

  We stay close. We are always this close when we are together. When we are alone, we are much, much closer.

  *****

  I wake up to my phone and look at the time. It’s Sunday at seven in the morning.

  Fearing it may be work, I answe
r without looking at the caller ID.

  “Hello?”

  “Hello, Keanna. This is Pastor Daniel.”

  It takes me a moment to understand who it is before it dawns on me.

  “I’m sorry. I—”

  “It’s early; I understand. Anita just called with some devastating news.”

  I look at River lying beside me, still asleep.

  “Her granddaughter, Angel, and Zachary … Well, there is no way to say this, but they are no longer with us.”

  “You mean dead?” I gasp.

  “Yes. I’m so sorry.” He pauses.

  I have no idea why he would call me. I met them one time. Just once.

  “I know you and River have been helping Anita out financially for the past few months, and there is no other family … I was wondering if you’d mind watching Rain while I take Anita to identify the bodies and discuss Angel’s final arrangements.”

  I look again at River, who stretches and then opens his eyes. “Yes, of course. Tell me the address, and I will be right there.”

  “What’s going on?” River asks as he sits up.

  I shake my head, then get off the bed and grab a pen and used envelope from my purse to write down the address. When I hang up, I run in the bathroom, strip my silk nightie off, and turn on the shower.

  “Damn,” I hear him behind me and look over my shoulder. He is already naked since that’s the way he sleeps.

  I get under the water, and he turns me around and pushes me against the wall.

  “No, River,” I say and turn back around. He looks shocked. “No, not no, but … Have you been helping Anita?”

  He rubs his hand over his head. “Yeah.”

  “Her granddaughter and that man …” I pause, trying to think of his name.

  “Zachary.”

  “They died. They died and Pastor Daniel needs to take Anita to identify the bodies. I have to go and watch the baby, so that’s why no.”

  He steps back and looks at me. Then he shakes his head back and forth.

  As I quickly wash the important parts, I tell him, “I love you.” Then I rinse and start to turn off the water.

  “No.” River stops me. “Let me wash up. I’m going with you.”

  Once in the Rover, he reaches over and takes my hand. I squeeze it, and he squeezes back.

  “Sorry I didn’t tell you.”

  “It’s your money, and don’t be sorry for helping someone, River.”

  “Just thought maybe it would ease the old chick’s burden, and maybe, if her burden was eased, she’d raise the kid, you know. No foster care like Finn and …”

  “Jesse.”

  “Yeah, and no fucking drunk or druggie fucking with it, you know?”

  “I do know, and River, I love you even more for it.”

  “Aw, thanks, babe.” He grins wickedly. “Show me some appreciation later.”

  I lean over and kiss him on the cheek. “Of course.”

  *****

  Two Months later…

  I walk out of the bedroom and look around the beach behind the house. Billy moved out a few weeks ago. He bought a condo, so that left me, Keanna, Tink, and two puppies that look like Holstein cows. All six of them are black and white. Memphis took one, Finn took two, and X-man and Taelyn took one, as well. She promised to find them good homes, but I knew damn well they weren’t going anywhere.

  I stand on the deck, throwing ball after ball, hoping like hell the pups will expunge some energy, the little fucking hellions that they are.

  I look over and see old Mr. Magee, who still swears his dog wasn’t the father of the pups. Of course, when I threatened him within an inch of his life, he allowed Tiffany, a friend of Keanna’s, to take him to the veterinarian where she works and get his big, old offensive balls chopped.

  Tink and the bastard, Brando, hang out all the damn time, and I hate it. However, I’m pretty fucking sure they are in dog love, and he’s not mean to the pups, so I let him live.

  I hear the door open and see my girl walk out.

  “You’re ready already?”

  “Yeah.” She immediately walks over and hugs me. “Do you know how happy I am?”

  “If you’re half as happy as me, then you’re over the moon.”

  “And back.”

  I kiss her hard and long, tasting her. Fuck, I would swallow her up if I could.

  I pull back from our kiss. “I’m gonna go and get showered.” But then I look at her, really look at the woman who changed my life in less than six months. “Today’s a game changer, you know.” I take her hands.

  “You getting cold feet?” She smiles, knowing damn well I’m not.

  “No, and if you do, don’t even try to run. I’ll catch you.”

  She is smiling from ear to ear, glowing in the long, ivory, maxi dress that kisses her sexy curves. She leans in, pushes up on her toes, and kisses me quick-like. “Go; we can’t be late.”

  *****

  When we walk into the courthouse, everyone is there: Xavier, Taelyn, Madison, Billy, Memphis, Tales, Finn, Sonya, Noah, Momma Joe, and her man Jonathon. They are all sitting on the right side while Natasha, Tiffany, a few of Keanna’s coworkers, old lady Anita, and Rain are on the other.

  Keanna squeezes my hand. “What are you thinking?”

  I laugh. “I never walked into a courtroom and thought, ‘this is the best day of my life’ before today.” I kiss her quickly before we walk up to stand in front of the judge.

  He stands, and I swear to fuck, if he bangs the gavel, I’m gonna wake up and be pissed if this is all just a dream.

  “Today is a very unique day. I can tell you I have never been asked to be part of something like this, and I find it necessary to tell you I am honored to be part of it.

  “Today, Pastor Daniel and I are going to not only make this marriage legal in the eyes of the law, but in the eyes of the Lord. And if that is not cause enough to celebrate, we are not only going to witness two people who have vowed to love, honor, and cherish each other until death do they part, but we are going to watch as they walk out the door with a child who will call them Mother and Father. In my twenty years, that has never happened, so again—”

  “Da!” Rain screeches.

  “Ray!” I laugh and look over to see her crawling across the floor at me as fast as she can.

  “What about me?” Keanna squats down.

  Memphis laughs. “Fa, so, la, tee—”

  “Da!”

  I reach down and scoop up the little, hazel-eyed beauty who has hair like her soon-to-be momma and an attitude like mine already.

  I pull Keanna in and hold them tightly.

  “How fast can we do this?” I ask the Judge. “She isn’t all that patient.”

  *****

  I’m standing in Finn’s old room, watching Rain sleep, while Keanna says goodnight to old lady Anita. I swear, other than Keanna, there is nothing and no one who has ever made me feel the way I do right now.

  Two months ago when we walked into that little house that had barely enough room to move around in to watch Rain, I knew right then and there I couldn’t leave her living like that. Keanna and I brought her to the house that day and watched her scoot around on her little booty, knowing damn well she wouldn’t be able to do that at her great-grandmother’s house.

  Rain ended up spending the weekend with us, making us laugh harder than we have ever laughed before. The way she scooted around, chasing those pups, was pure entertainment. Watching Keanna make sense of her little, crazy head of hair was cool as shit, too. I had a feeling of joy, a different kind of high, one I didn’t want to go away, but I knew it would.

  When Anita and Pastor Daniel came to pick her up, the look on Keanna’s face was as heartbreaking as the pain I was feeling in my chest.

  Anita looked at both of us, and the darkness that was surrounding her when she had walked in to get Rain lifted immediately.

  “You want her?” she asked.

  I was floored and appalled tha
t someone was asking me if I wanted a child like she had no value, like she was nothing.

  Old lady Anita must have recognized it immediately.

  “Honey child, I am an old woman who has raised her children and her children’s children. I love this one, but I am no fool. I know she would have a better life somewhere else. Pastor Daniel and I talked about foster care and other options, but with the way your lady friend looks at that child and the way you look at both of them, I’m gonna offer you the chance first, and I hope like hell you take it.” Anita looked a hell of a lot younger than she was. The woman was seventy years old.

  I offered to buy a house for them, but Anita wouldn’t have it. They did take Rain home that night, but after the most underwhelming sex in the entire time we had been together, we had a discussion. Then we made a phone call, and our Rain and Anita came to stay with us until we had a plan, which was to make everything legal and do it as quickly as possible.

  Anita watched Rain while Keanna was at work and I was on the road. I didn’t ride the bus with the band, though. I met them on our different stops and flew out after the show. I didn’t want to be away from either one of them.

  Keanna’s last day of work was yesterday. It wasn’t an easy decision, and I left it up to her.

  While she was at work, Anita was with me, teaching me shit when I was home and watching the little angel baby when I was at Forever Four.

  The day I came home with a new tattoo from hip to hip—a cross with two angel wings—and Keanna saw it, she decided she would quit her job. The three of us—Anita, too, if she wanted—were going to just enjoy the hell out of the blessing we had literally been handed.

  Keanna walks in the room and stands next to me. “What are you thinking?”

  “I am the luckiest motherfucker on the planet. I have the hottest wife, a crazy sweet and amazing kid, a house, and a career that allows me to take care of them.” I pull her into my arms. “Never in a million years, Keanna … Never in a million years did I think this could happen.”

  “Me, either,” she says, holding me tightly. “But like you said, it’s divine intervention.” She rubs my stomach where the tattoo is.

  “Divine, indeed.” I lift her up in my arms. “Do you feel slighted that you didn’t get a honeymoon like all little girls dream of?”