Gentle Beast

by Margaret Afseth

  Tusha lay immobile; added to the discomfort of dry damaged skin, was the stinging, burning pain from multiple oozing cracks along her arms. A tender tongue, and the metallic taste of blood in her mouth, also assaulted her fragile consciousness.

  Was I convulsing while unconscious? Did I bite my tongue, or merely clamp my teeth with the effort to remain in this reality?

  She would never know, as there was no one there to look out for her.

  It was then she became aware of the intense heat rising up from the valley below. She took a labored breath. As time passed, her difficulty breathing eased; energy gradually returned, enough so she could roll to her other side, and then to her belly again, out of harm’s way.

  Oh, how I long for a bath...or just a cup of water…

  But, she must return to work; she was only half way across.

  The others are waiting!

  Moaning like a grieving beast, she carried on, each five-foot span causing internal pain, as well as external. Tusha knew, organs were being damaged; aging was progressing.

  How much more do I have left to give?

  She never knew if she reached the other side. Once again, the world fled away.

  ****

  Tusha thought somehow, someone had come and carried her back across to where she had started. When she awoke, she was seated against the cool granite wall; arms at her sides, her hands open, resting on the ground. In front of her lay the finished pathway, a marvelous display of incredible power.

  As she gazed out over the expanse, she realized, on the far side was the ledge leading back to the others. She had made it to this side, before passing out.

  But, she was still alone.

  Desperately weary from her labor, she rose to her feet, and turned to face the blank barrier behind her. Tusha never considered not performing the next step.

  It has to be done!

  She touched the granite wall. It shimmered; a tiny hole appeared, widened, growing ever larger, until the gateway to freedom was large enough to pass through in a crouch.

  Then, once again, the battered being sank to a semi-conscious state, sprawling half in and half out, across the lip of the portal, as cool air flooded over her.

  ****

  At last, hours later, life began again. And still later, Tusha stood beneath the slope of gravel leading upward to the yawning aperture above.

  Freedom was there; a beautiful moonscape, framed by the roots of a dead tree, surrounded by large boulders.

  The thought ran through her head:

  I could escape on my own, leave the others to chance finding the way out on their own. It would be so easy. But no...it isn’t right; it isn’t fair to them.

  It is time to go back!

  With heavy feet, and aching frame, a body that now looked eighty, Tusha returned the way she had come. It was easier now that the way was formed, but still extremely taxing. Half way down the ledge that skirted the lava river, at a spot where the outcropping spread inward in a circular space, causing a platform like a roadway rest stop, Tusha sank to her knees.

  Too weary to go on, she lay down, and abruptly fell asleep.

  ****

  Tusha woke to someone shaking her, and wondered for a second, whether she had dreamed it all. It was Norris. Once again, he had disobeyed her instruction…and it made her glad, that he had.

  Tusha sat up, stretched, and yawned hugely. In her sleep, much of her fatigue, along with the worst of her injuries, had disappeared. Her appearance had also returned to that of someone of sixty plus years.

  “You couldn’t wait for me to return?” she rebuked in an annoyed tone.

  “You’ve been gone for days!” he answered in surprise. “Most think you have abandoned us; others that you must be dead. They are despairing back there. The food we took has near run out. And here I find you sleeping.” The last was given with such disappointment in his voice Tusha felt shame.

  Then the words he’d spoke sunk in, that is at least one.

  Food! Golly, am I ever hungry! I think I could even eat that Roog stew…maybe.

  And then she came back to reality.

  “Sorry. I only meant to rest a while. I did find the way out.”

  His jaw dropped in astonishment, as if he had given in to doubts himself. “You did?”

  “Yes. But, it’s a long way off.”

  He sighed. “No matter. You have seen the sky?” She nodded. “I haven’t seen daylight for twenty years,” he marveled longingly.

  “Norris?”

  “Yes?”

  “I’m so tired. Would you go back to get the others? I’ll meet them beneath the drop down hole where the ladder is.”

  “Yes!” he exclaimed jubilantly, and turned to go.

  “Norris? You don’t have any water with you, do you? And food?”

  “I’ll bring you some. I think Loki has a bit of water left.” And then, like an apparition that had never been there, he was gone. Tusha turned over, and went back to sleep.

  CHAPTER 43

  Almost everyone was through, and down the ladder, before Loki put in an appearance. He came first, staying beneath Amara, guiding her as she moved down. Their descent seemed to take forever.

  “She’s in labor,” Loki explained, when their feet were on the ground. “She’s weak. It’s been going on for days, but I don’t think it’ll be more than another half hour. Is there somewhere I can lie her down?”

  Feeling guilty, because she’d delayed in coming back immediately, Tusha was quick to give directions. “There is a jut-in about the middle of the pathway to your right. It’s a good mile away.”

  “I’ll carry her.”

  Loki scooped up the young mother-to-be, swaying with weakness, before he turned, gained his equilibrium, and took off at a run.

  For a moment, Tusha stood there stunned, feeling abandoned, overlooked, slighted.

  He didn’t even ask about my welfare.

  Nor had he noticed her bedraggled state.

  Rebellion welled inside her, coupled with jealousy and anger.

  After all I went through to make the way, he could at least say thank you.

  Then she realized that Loki too was suffering.

  An empath feels more deeply from those around him, and being physician he is concentrating on his patient, whom he’s been tending for days. He may be out of the belt, but the tunnel back there was dark with no source of energy. He’s been handicapped, as far as helping is concerned.

  And another fact was brought to her mind:

  He knows nothing of what it took to make the way out. He cannot be blamed; he did not deliberately slight me.

  ****

  As Loki ran, he realized the available energy resource below. He had no time to seek the source, but he guessed it was lava based, and knew the danger it presented. Miles below, a river of molten power gave dim light to the shelf above.

  This meant he could absorb, gaining strength.

  I still won't have the power to actually heal, but I'll have the ability now to assist, and ease this girl.

  His speed increased, until he was a mere blur, passing on the inner side of the stumbling but eager escapees, walking single file.

  Panting with the effort, Loki arrived at the platform Tusha had directed him to. Amara was just moving into a very powerful contraction. Weary with the long ordeal, she had little left to give.

  He placed her gently on the powdered soil, willed a blanket beneath her, and absorbed much of her pain. As he doubled over with the force of the contraction, she sighed with the ease he’d given her.

  Loki knelt beside her, his mind going inside, and once again using mind will, moved the cord from the baby’s foot, so it could deliver freely, and carefully prodded until it turned face down.

  And none too soon, the time was at hand.

  ****

  Tusha found Beth, walking with Lana. As she joined them, she noticed no change in Beth. She was still walking in a daze, oblivious to her surroundings. Lana, on the oth
er hand, appeared to have become a gentler person, guiding the other girl carefully by the hand, watching to make certain she did not step away, and over the precipice.

  Has Lana been her caregiver all this time? The experience seems to have mellowed her.

  If that were the case, Tusha had missed much during her time away.

  What really went on back there?

  The temptation to mind read was near overwhelming, but the human Noor found her conscience telling her, to invade privacy would be wrong. Loki had taught her that, by blocking her probe.

  Arriving a short time later at the mid-point platform, the women heard the strident scream of a newborn infant. Tusha enthralled, moved up beside Loki.

  He laughed triumphantly, when he caught sight of her. Cradling the small bundle in the crook of his arm, he seemed on the verge of collapse himself. He was trembling visibly, as if he’d been the one doing all the hard work of delivery, and not poor Amara.

  Tusha suddenly realized what he’d done.

  He has indeed borne the brunt of the pain! And is suffering the resultant fatigue.

  “The first born of our freedom fighters!” he proclaimed with fervor. “Want to hold her?”

  Tusha grinned broadly, and held out her arms.

  ****

  Lana had made a show of changing, and so far Loki had bought it without questioning. Until now, there had been no opportunity to dispense with the encumbrance of Beth. It would be both obvious, she had done it, and ineffectual, if Loki was there to intervene.

  They stood cooing over the baby, encouraging the mother, congratulating each other at getting this far.

  With their backs turned, intent on the tiny infant and Amara, no one will be able to move quickly enough to prevent.

  Lana scowled, let go of Beth’s hand. The blank-minded girl suddenly came alert, moved to the brink of the precipice, stood there looking down.

  All I'd need to do is give her a slight push.

  Lana waited, somehow growing a conscience in the last moment, hesitant to do the dastardly deed.

  She turned away, moved toward the other three.

  Just a tiny peek at that thing they think so precious, and then…

  ****

  Beth studied the luminous river far below, her mind finding sudden amazing clarity. Life these last months had become unbearable: the beastly frightening dog people, malicious Lana’s taunts, and the vision of her eating what she’d brought forth from inside her, had sickened the girl’s reality, soured her soul. Then the lustful man she’d been corralled with, so he could rape and brutalize her, over and over again, the shame of her own immoral need, had made further existence meaningless.

  Beth had wanted to end it long before this, to kill what had infected her from the inside. She knew fully what she was doing.

  Oblivion will come; the end of pain and suffering. That's all I want. Don't believe there is punishment in the hereafter. If there is a God, he would not allow this to happen to me.

  My father, my mother, my boyfriend; they are all gone. Why not go, too?

  This is what I want!

  ****

  When Lana turned back, it was already too late. There was no unsteady tottering, no scream of fright, as the decision was regretted. The girl simply stepped out into empty space. There was a quiet whoosh…and Beth disappeared.

  The thought went through Lana’s mind:

  I could yell, give a warning.

  But she rejected it, only sucked in her breath, at the sudden joy of the release of her burden.

  ****

  Tusha turned, the baby still in her arms, sensing more than hearing something behind her. Seeing Lana standing alone, with what appeared to be a shocked look of denial on her face, the elder woman assumed correctly what had happened. She thrust the baby at Loki, moved like a rapid blur to the edge, and was down on her knees in a second.

  It took until then for Loki to realize Beth was missing. By then Tusha was down on her belly, her hands extended over the edge. Loki carefully placed the baby on Amara’s tummy, then moved to the edge himself.

  Far below, he saw Beth suspended, turning in slow-motion circles, a pantomime frozen half between their upper ledge and the lava river below. The girl had her arms extended to her sides, as if she meant to fly.

  Did Lana push her?

  And then he realized, all action below had stopped. Beth wasn’t moving, nor was she falling.

  Only once had Loki seen this done. Liam had rescued a falling comrade, by freezing time, and gradually raising the male to safety.

  Loki got down on hands and knees, watching Tusha intently. Her pupils were dilated, staring fixed, colored a rainbow hue.

  Yes! She is doing what Liam did. But I can't give her of my strength, as I've done for my mental. I don't have the energy reserve.

  It was then he noticed how scarred and aged her body had become, the many cuts appearing by the minute, the oozing bloody sores gaping.

  Oh, Almighty! She’ll kill herself trying!

  And just at that point, Tusha crumbled. If he had not reached out and caught her, she would have slid over, as well.

  CHAPTER 44

  He tried to bathe her sores with the little water he had, a half filled bottle supposed to be for drinking. As she had done for him, he gave what ministrations he could. She was dreadfully damaged, both physically and emotionally.

  Tusha moaned, and opened her eyes.

  He saw when memory surfaced; it was mirrored in the deep blue eyes.

  “Beth?”

  “She’s gone,” he returned, sadly. “You tried. No blame…”

  But she growled at him, like an angry mistrusting animal. “Go away! Leave me alone!”

  Loki backed away, feeling the rejection, turned, and decided to check on his other two patients.

  He knew Tusha didn’t mean it the way it seemed.

  She needs to cry it out, to grieve, but…there is no time. There are people counting on us, strewn out across the pathway leading out, all in various stages of fatigue, some near starvation. Their safety must be my priority.

  Loki caught up mother and baby, preparing to carry them on. He stood to his feet, looked back at Tusha, deciding to chance it.

  She will not do the same as Beth. Tusha has fought too hard, for too long, to give up now. She just needs some time alone.

  “I’ll stay with her,” Lana offered.

  “No, you won’t!” Loki hissed, his temper thundering to the surface. “You come with me! I don’t trust you!”

  ****

  The minute the others were out of sight, the tears came in a hot flood. It was as if the death of Beth had magnified all losses that had come before: first her children, then her freedom, and nearly her life.

  How many times now have I been courting death? But I still go on with life...at any cost.

  Something in her prevented her ending it all.

  I just have to get passed this hurdle!

  Her heart longed to be taken care of, to belong somewhere, to someone.

  I just want to go home, to that place that no longer is mine, but it's ceased to exist. My treasured family memorabilia has all been snatched away! Even now this second time, that last picture was lost, when Loki and I were forced into the kitchen.

  The tears came fast and heavy; her depression took the upper hand.

  And the loss of material things was not the worst of it; the tearing away of those she’d loved smoldered the most; the life that had once been could never be retrieved.

  In retrospect, I was lonely and felt neglected, but at least then, I had my freedom, and once in a while contact with those I cared about. I could worry about my children, encourage as they solved their problems, watch as the granddaughters matured, and pray for them. In my mind, I could view their faults, silently rebuke, and offer advice. I could watch quietly, hoping for change. The loss of that leaves a huge gaping hole.

  Until now, she’d kept that painful fact at bay. Existence, survival down here
, had taken all her thought and energy.

  She had assumed she would never get to go back.

  By now, my children had grieved and moved on, forgotten me.

  Having changed so much in mind and body, it seemed unwise to inflict her condition on the younger generation.

  It's best I remain dead to them. I'm not sure I'll ever search them out.

  After all, why should I?

  Grief turned to unwarranted anger focused on her children.

  The loss of Beth had opened a grievous canker that had been there for years.

  That young girl had always reminded Althea of her granddaughter, Iora, with her protected lifestyle, and shy withdrawn nature, her tendency to give up in the face of adversity. Iora's mother had always kept her close, first in the early years treating her like an adult pal, then becoming so protective, the girl was defended to others whether she was right or wrong.

  In personality, Moriah resembled Lana. No advice was acceptable, especially coming from her mother; she wanted only a listening ear, and grandma better not dare criticize. In her daughter’s opinion, Althea had always had it wrong, was to blame for the conditions in their past, and her decisions had been stupid from beginning to end.

  For a long time, Althea had felt rejected, used, there only to fill her daughter’s needs, either for physical help, emotional comfort, or to take up the financial shortfall. When that was not required, she’d been expected to vanish into the background until further notice.

  There had been a deep, insurmountable rift between them.

  Tusha tried to stop her mental tirade, brushed at the tears, and made an attempt to remember something positive...and failed, as her thoughts went to her son.

  Nyle, when at his worst, could be likened to Bom. He had a certain lack of concern for his family, and a likelihood of exploding into anger, rather than showing affection or concern toward his parent. She remembered vividly once when her behavior hadn’t pleased him; she had feared for her life. Nyle tended to hold a grudge. He hadn’t spoken to her for six month after, and that had been getting off easy.