by Asia Hill
“Jaw, this your auntie. I’m on 79th and Cottage.”
“Good! Hit the liquor store and bring me something to drink.”
“I got you. Give me a few minutes.”
I hopped out my car and quickly hit the store. There’s no standing around this motha fucker! 79th is hot as fish grease! The police are on some good bullshit. Plus, it’s the beginning of the summer so I have to stay on my toes around this bitch.
My name is LJ, short for Lockjaw. I got that name when I was a shorty. My mom Dukes said that I used to suck on dirty socks. Fuck y’all! Don’t judge me! Anyway, I’m a smooth kind of dude. You could say that I’m somewhat of a ladies man. I’m 6’2” and I weigh 195 pounds. My skin is smooth as chocolate. I rock dreads, but I keep them tight. I’m young and I’m getting it to say the least. I just turned nineteen on May second and I’m already sitting on a lovely nest egg that’s worthof over six figures.
I started selling drugs at a young age out in the projects where I was born and raised. Back in the day, the Robert Taylor high-rise buildings were a gold mine. I saw my Uncle DB and my father getting it when I was younger. They would never let me in on the action, so when I was old enough to make moves, I started as a lookout and I quickly worked my way up the ranks.
At the age of fifteen, I began moving weight. The scariest moment I had selling drugs happened when I was running my own trap spot. I had just copped my last brick and I was bagging it up when my phone rang.
“Yo Jaw, my man’s wanna come holla at you.”
“Who the fuck is ya man’s?”
“Calm down dude, he cool.”
“He better be, cause if he try any dumb shit, I’mma light his ass up like the firework show at Navy Pier on the 4th of July.”
“Fair enough.”
I get up and check my38 revolver snub nose. What? Yeah, I got a 38. It’ll server its purpose.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
“Who is it?”
“Poohman sent me.”
I opened the door and my heart dropped to my damn socks.
“Damn Uncle! I didn’t know you was coming–.”
That’s all I got out before my Uncle DB put his paws on a nigga. That was the worst ass whooping I ever received in my life. I tried my hardest to get his big ass up off of me.
“Lockjaw, your father would kill me if he knew I bought shit from you!”
“Man, I’m doing me. I’m trying to take care of my mom Dukes and my siblings. I’m doing what he ain’t doing.”
“Nephew, this life ain’t for you. Wait a minute; I’m coming up here to get some work, and I’m getting it from you? How long have you been serving?”
“Man Uncle, I been serving since I was like nine.”
“Ain’t that bout a bitch!”
“Uncle, I been grown for a while and this is what it is. No disrespect to you, but I’mma keep doing me.”
He never told my father what I was doing. He did however upgrade my little 38. He gave me my first big gun. It was a Desert Eagle and was my favorite gun. Other than Poohman, I really didn’t socialize with niggas.
I really didn’t even have a girl. The buildings talk. These little hoes knew who was getting dough. I wasn’t trying to let one of these hood boogers trap me, no sir!
When I was seventeen, I thought I was in love. I ended up having two kids by my girl at the time. I love my kids to death, but their mama can’t be trusted. These hoes aren’t loyal.
Needless to say, I take good care of my babies, but their mama can eat a dick! I’m just saying. It’s now two years later and I’m doing better than most.
I don’t trick because I got it. A bitch better have their own. I don’t mind treating, but you must show me that you are worth it. I got a few bust downs that I entertain when I want my dick wet. I do want a wife one day. That’s another reason why I’m not too flashy.
I got a little Charger with some bang and some 24’s, nothing fancy. I want my chick to be smart and well educated. I can’t stand a stupid bitch. I’d kiss the moon if I could find a virgin, but finding a virgin would be harder than finding that bitch Carmen San Diego. I’m just saying.
I like them 5’5 or 5’6 and thick in all the right places. I like them with a caramel complexion and sexy as fuck, but not too thick. Some of that shit doesn’t look right when you take their clothes off. I would prefer you have your own hair, but now days you never know. As long as you keep that shit done, I’m good.
I like them feisty, but not disrespectful. Let’s be clear, I don’t play that ignorant shit. I’ll shake the fuck out a bitch. I might even slap fire from their ass, depending on what they did. Hold up, my phone ringing.
“Yo!”
“Damn, where the fuck you at?”
“My bad Auntie Boo, I’m on my way now.”
On my way to my auntie’s. I called Poohman and told him to get ready.
“I’m outside, my dude.”
Poohman came out of the crib looking like a hot ass mess. This nigga is crazy! My man’s got on a black long sleeve t-shirt with some black and green army fatigue shorts and he had the nerve to wear wheat-colored Timbs.
Really my nigga? Ok, we do live in the Windy City, but we got hot ass summers too. I know my dude’s feet are hot as shit. Then this fool still got that bandage around his neck from when that little shawty barely cut his ass.
I’m not even going to front; shawty had the look of death in her eyes when she upped that blade on my homie. Quiet as kept, my boy liked that shit. He likes them old crazy ass broads that stab him and shit.
I’mma break a bitch’s face if they up a blade on me. That shit has been on my mind for a minute. I can’t get Ms. JuJu off of my mind. She was fucking beautiful. I loved her feistiness. That smart-ass mouth and those eyes. Damn! Shawty was like that. That little bitch’s mouth is her only shortcoming. I couldn’t allow her to talk to me like that no matter how cute she is. I’m a man!
(SLAM)
“Nigga, don’t slam my fucking door like that, pussy!”
“Fuck yo soft ass up in here daydreaming about with that sexy ass smile on your face?”
I looked at my homie, “Fuck you and them hot ass boots you got on!”
* * *
When we pulled up to my Auntie Boo’s block and people were everywhere. Niggas were all over the corners, the fire hydrant was on at the other end of the street, and you could smell the barbeque in the air. “Damn, I hope Boo grilling because I’m hungry as shit,” Poohman said.
“Nigga you always hungry.”
I pulled over in front of my auntie’s crib and I saw her high yellow-ass sitting on the porch with a card table gambling.
“Yo thirsty ass going take the bid anyway.” I hear my auntie talking to her pinochle partner as I walk up to the porch.
“What up auntie?” She looked at Lil Mama and said, “Oh, hold up hoe; let me get my beer”Lil Mama laughed. “Yo thirsty ass.”
“Hoe don’t hate,” my auntie said.
Lil Mama is my auntie’s best friend. They met while doing a FED bid. Yeah, I said FED bid. My auntie was out here doing her mafucking mutha fucking thing and these hoe-ass niggas out here were mad, so they put the alphabet boys in her life.
Now Lil Mama is straight gangsta. This bitch pulled some Set-It-Off-type shit. Her and some goofy ass nigga robbed a bank. Now that’s my type of bitch! They got away, but her ass got caught for doing some other shit. That’s some hoe ass shit, but doing eight years did her some justice.
She’s fine as fuck. I’ve got a nasty ass crush on her. She’s 5’6, weighs about 160 pounds, and has curly black hair. Her hair is natural and sexy. She has these eyes that make me want to stare into them all day. That’s some lame ass shit, right? Fuck y’all! She bad!
“Damn, why you staring, Jaw? See something you like?” Lil Mama asked while looking at me with those fuck-me eyes. I swear I saw those eyes before.
“Bitch stop flirting with my nephew and melt.”
As always, my auntie
was hating so I moved back to the front yard and went to holla at some niggas that I knew.
“You want beef? I got that.
Dope? I got that. Hoes? I got that.
Dro? I got that. Money? I got that.
Cars? I got that. Pistols? I got that.
Niggas get shot at.”
Chapter 3
Dirty E
“Elizabeth, come downstairs and take this trash out.”
“Why I gotta do it?”
“Because Jae`lyn is at work and since you think you a boy, it won’t kill your ass.”
Sometimes I want to punch my mom in her shit. She always has something smart to say about my sexual preference. I didn’t have to come out of the closet, but I came out of her pussy gay, no bullshit!
I used to always get my ass beat because no matter what, I wasn’t wearing a motherfucking dress. I’m the second child born to Haitian immigrants. My mom was eight months pregnant when they moved to Chicago. My dad was very supportive. When she went into labor, he was there, breathing with her, throughout the whole nine yards.
The second that I came out of my mom’s pussy, this ol’ disrespectful motha fucker actually stole my mom in the face and walked out of the room screaming, “That’s the devils child; not mine.” I was white as hell. Both of my parents are blue black.
My mom swore that she never stepped out on him. He stayed, but he treated me like shit. He would beat me, starve me, and make me do some fucked-up shit to him. I don’t want to elaborate, but I want y’all to get to know me and know why I turned out the way that I did.
He drank and smoked weed that was laced with cocaine. My mom worked two jobs to support us so she was gone a lot. On the days that she would work, he would make me watch him masturbate. Then he would ejaculate in my face. Unfortunately, that was a good day.
On a bad day, he would make me suck his dick until my jaws were sore. He started fucking with me when I was about four. It ended about five years later when I ended his life.
I told my mom what he was doing. She would just tell me to pray about it and eventually he would stop, but I guess God didn’t fuck with me like that. I didn’t need God for what I planned to do.
It was my ninth birthday and my mom had planned a small party with just my besties and me. She rented a bunch of movies and bought us a gang of junk food. We ate, had a good time, and fell asleep.
Later that night, I woke up to use the restroom and I saw that ReRe wasn’t next to me anymore. I went room to room looking for her. I approached my parent’s room and I could hear small cries. I heard my father saying, “Shut the fuck up bitch.” I knew it was ReRe. My heart broke into pieces because I couldn’t help her. I went back to the living room crying. I just wanted him to be quick. I needed her to come back and go to sleep because I was getting his ass tonight.
Ten minutes later, she laid next to me crying, “He hurt me E!” I told her to go back to sleep. I knew she had fallen asleep because her grip on my arm loosened. I knew it was now or never.
I walked back to my parent’s room and could hear my father snoring loudly. I got on my knees and crawled under the bed to where I knew my father kept his lock box. I opened the box as quietly as I could and felt around for a few seconds until I found what I was looking for.
When I used to cry and refuse to pleasure him, he would point this gun at me. He even stuck it down there before. I stood up and walked to the side of the bed. I turned the gun sideways to click the safety button off, and when I looked up, my father was staring at me.
The last thing he said before I blew his brains out was, “You are the child of the devil.”
Back to the present, my mom resents me. His murder was labeled a robbery gone wrong. Deep down inside, she knew what I did. Oh fucking well. Shit, she could get it too. I love my mom, but she could have done more to stop the nigga. Fuck it! Let me call my bestie, JuJu and see what time we are going to her Godmother’s barbeque.
“I’m sucka duckie, I’m sucka free,
you ain’t a G, don’t fuck with me,
I’m suckin niggas outta style, G season.
I’m suckin niggas outta style, G season.”
Chapter 4
Tiki
Bout time y’all motha fuckers got to my chapter. My name is Tamiko, AKA Tiki. As you may already know me, Ju, ReRe, and Dirty E are like sisters and brothers. We are all Leo’s and we get along so good. It’s all real. None of that phony shit that y’all are used to see. Them my motha fuckers! We E.S.C. until the death of us. If you ask me, we all get along so good because we all have horrible past’s that fucked us all up.
My own mama can’t stand me because I look just like my father. She was his side bitch back in the day when he was on the come up. She was just like all the other hood rats in the hood. She thought that if she got pregnant then she would lock my father down. Wrong! He told her he wasn’t ready for kids. He gave her four hundred dollars to get an abortion.
This trifling ass hoe went to the mall and bought a few outfits. Needless to say, when he found out what she did, he found her and tried to abort me himself. From what my aunt told me, he beat her within an inch of her life. On the way to the hospital, she flat lined twice. She pulled through and I came three months early. I was four pounds even. Other than me being a premature baby, I was good.
My mom’s fake ass didn’t raise me. She was too busy chasing baller dick. My Aunt Rose raised me until I was seven. She died after overdosing from too much heroine. I guess my mom had somewhat of a heart because she took me in. Although, I think that I would have been better off in foster care.
She had a slew of niggas in and out of our tiny ass two-bedroom apartment. A few of them even tried to make their way into my bed. I got tired of that shit. I started running away to E’s crib.
When I was about ten, I was walking back from Bessmer Park when this black two-door Infiniti Coupe rolled up on me. My scared ass was about to run. Shit, motha fuckers still be kidnapping kids. I’ll be damned if I end up in somebody’s basement as a sex slave. Bullshit!
He rolled the window down and said, “Tamiko.”
I said, “Who the fuck is you?”
He chuckled and said, “Yeah, you definitely my baby. Come here.”
Curiosity got the best of me because I walked over to his car. “I’m yo Daddy! Get in!”
I looked at him as if he was crazy. “What’s my mama name?
“Sharon.”
That was all I needed to hear. I hopped in and he asked me where we stayed. When we walked into the apartment, we found my mom’s trifling ass on all fours getting fucked by a man I called Uncle Larry.
When she saw whom I was with, the look on her face let me know that the words he spoke were biblical. She jumped up so fast that you would have thought she was in a martial arts movie.
“Oh my Lord, Meechie what you doing here?”
He stared at my mom with a stare that would have made the Grim Reaper kill himself. I guess my mama felt it too, because she pissed all over herself right there in the middle of the living room.
“Tiki come on, you don’t live here no more.” Shit, Daddy or not, I got to get up outta this hellhole. BYE FELICIA! Life after that was heaven. He kept me in the same school after I told him about my besties. He told me how he met my mama. Shit, he even told me about the time he almost killed us. I didn’t think my life was worth shit anyway, because of whose vagina I came out of. I wasn’t even mad.
