When Saint Goes Marching In

by Laveen, Tiana

  “His heart is made of gold. He is a Warrior. He protects me, his family and anyone else that he cares about. He protects all of you, too, because he wants you to have the best that life has to offer. When you step out of your comfort zone, new opportunities arise. You have to take a gamble on yourself. It’s a risk worth taking.” Xenia briefly hung her head then looked back out at the audience.

  “All relationships, even the real tight ones, go through challenges. I have some advice for you ladies. When your man has been good to you since day one, and something happens that makes you question him, give him the benefit of the doubt, no matter how bad it looks or seems. If he has not once caused you to believe that he was something other than what he said and exemplified, then don’t believe what other people tell you. If you are happy, people are going to come out of the woodwork to try and steal your joy. Once you are happy, ladies, truly happy with a wonderful guy, jealous people will come after you and try to destroy what you have. It is very sad, but it happens every day. That is something I was a bit naïve about, too. I didn’t understand that apart from the racism and the backlash from just being married to someone as dynamic and unique as Saint, I would also have to deal with people who didn’t want us to be together, simply because they wanted what we have and if they couldn’t have it, then, they didn’t want us to have it either.”

  Saint crossed his legs. His fingers dug into his upper arms as the implication of her words hit him with full force. The memories of what they went through brought the anger, the torment back to the surface.

  “I cannot recall one day, in the last six years that we’ve been married, where this man hasn’t bent over backwards to make sure that I and our children had everything we needed. Even when he was out of town for business, he’d make sure we were OK. I cannot recall one day when he may have said something that hurt my feelings and he didn’t sincerely apologize when I brought it to his attention. He loves me enough to put pride aside and that’s also something I needed in the man for me.

  “He is an excellent father and adores his children. He spends time with them and is caring and loving towards them. Nobody is perfect. I’ve made my mistakes and according to Saint, he hasn’t made any.” Everyone started to laugh when Saint glared at her. “But if I had given into my fears, I would, quite honestly, probably be with someone that I was a lot less compatible with. I may or may not have children, which I desperately wanted, and I doubt I’d be nearly as happy as I am right now. You all were braver than I. You actually came to this conference in this huge auditorium, showing that you are at least willing to listen to what everyone has to say to you. You made a concerted effort to take your curiosity a step further. I wasn’t as courageous as you, so you’re starting out ahead of me already. Saint literally had to blackmail me for a date.” Xenia smiled at the audience’s reaction. Saint shook his head and blew her a kiss.

  “He honestly did. I went on that date, certain I’d hate every minute of it. I thought he was an arrogant asshole and just terrible.” Hands on hips, Xenia waited for the laughter to subside. “Well, I found out two of the three I was wrong about. He is not an asshole and he’s not terrible.” Saint grinned. Xenia had won over the crowd and he never felt prouder.

  “This man had somehow found out all of my favorite foods and brought them on an evening picnic date. He had flowers, a merry-go-round just for the two of us and fireworks.” Women ooohed and awwwed in the audience. “He went all out, and you can have that, too. You can have someone who wants to impress you but also keep that up, throughout the relationship. The same things he did to get you he should keep doing, and I can honestly say, that’s what I have.” Xenia smiled. “He’s my King. He’s my cover. He’s my lover. He’s my best friend, the father of my children and the one person I can rely on to see me through everything that life throws my way.” Xenia paused. She looked composed but Saint wasn’t fooled. He could tell by the glaze in her eyes that the emotion of her words brought her as close to tears as it did many in the audience. She was trying hard to stay cool and he wanted so much to get up there with her and take her in his arms, to tell her that everything was going to be alright.

  But this was her time to shine. He wouldn’t take that away from her.

  “He’s so good to me. He’s been real with me since day one. He let me see what he was, he told me what he was, and he is consistent. I love him so much, my heart just swells with it, and I want every single woman in here to feel as I do about someone, and have it returned to you tenfold.” Xenia looked over her shoulder at Saint. “I love you, baby,” she said, a trail of tears now freely streaking down her face.

  It was time for him to comfort her. Her eyes said loud and clear that she needed him.

  Saint stood up and slowly walked over to her. Everyone stood up and clapped as he wrapped his arms around her waist, looked down at her and kissed her passionately. This was met with whistling and cheering. Saint pulled away from her slowly, winked at her and pulled the microphone that Xenia was speaking into from the podium holster. He cleared his throat.

  “Well shit, let’s get this on and poppin’ then.”

  Saint pretended like was unbuttoning his pants with his free hand. Xenia rolled her eyes at him and turned back towards the cheering audience with a huge grin.

  “We’re going to our bedroom now, and none of you are invited,” Saint added causing the audience to erupt with laughter. He kissed her again on the forehead, patted her ass and returned to his seat after handing her back the microphone.

  “Always the class clown,” Xenia laughed as she spoke into the microphone. “In conclusion ladies…” Xenia began.

  “But you better act now!” Saint interrupted. “Because for $9.99, you can have your own Rainbeau, but wait! We’ll double your order – two for the price of one, not including shipping and handling, we’re not flying that mothafucka out for you.” Laughter erupted from the panel and the audience.

  “I see my husband took his silly pills today,” Xenia laughed and shook her head.

  “OK, I’ll stop,” Saint raised his hand and pulled back. “I’m being rude, ladies, don’t accept my behavior.”

  Xenia shook her head. “They can’t hear you, Saint. You’re not on the mic!” She extended a hand and offered the mic again. “Come on. I know you wanna get back up here so bad!” Saint stood up and walked back over to the podium.

  “See ladies, he’s an attention hog!” she laughed. “He was just here talking non-stop and had all the attention and now he is chiming in on my time!” Xenia hit him playfully.

  “Why is your ass back up here?” She raised an eyebrow in mock annoyance and put her hand on her hip. The comedy relief sketch worked wonders with the crowd. Saint grabbed the microphone while Xenia tried to push him aside.

  “What I was saying is that it was rude for me to be back here joking and acting silly while she is trying to speak so I want to publically apologize to my Queen, my Empress, my Goddess and she will have no further interruption or interjections, or even intercourse, I mean, discourse from me…until later tonight.” Saint went back to his seat as the crowd guffawed.

  “Nasty!” Xenia smirked as she turned back to the audience. Saint smiled and winked at her from his seat. “So ladies, in all seriousness, I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship that could make me happier. As you just saw first-hand, we’re very comfortable with one another; we are just like everyone else, only genuinely in love. He is everything I could ever want. If you expand your options, you’ll meet all sorts of men that you may have originally scratched off as an option, just because they are of a different race than you. You don’t have to settle for mediocre when you can have great. The key here is finding someone who is equally yoked and I’ve done just that. Don’t let fear of the unknown stop you from getting what you rightfully deserve.”

  Everyone stood up and applauded as Xenia waved and walked away from the podium. She walked to the back of the stage and disappeared behind the curtain.

&n
bsp; The way her ass shakes as she walks makes me wanna jump ‘er bones like I’d never seen that shit before! I love you, girl. I’d die for you, baby.

  * * *

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  The interview…

  “This is Jazz, Radio Extraordinaire for the Adult Sunday Brunch Show here at KTWX 107.2. We’re back after that commercial break from our sponsors and are on the air with Dr. Saint Aknaten, author, controversial renowned speaker, husband, father, therapist and sexologist,” Jazz announced as she adjusted her headset.

  “Dr. Aknaten, one of our emails regarding you was about religion and we do want to broach that topic. You’ve been seen wearing an assortment of deities in your jewelry choices and there is some confusion as to what God you serve.” Jazz smiled at Saint and cocked her head to the left.

  “Jazz, I’m more spiritual than religious. I believe there is beauty in almost every religion on the planet. I also believe that religion is man-made, thus it is flawed. God isn’t flawed, so I choose to bypass religion and stick to my own home-grown brand of spirituality which encompasses mostly what I grew up around as well as my own beliefs that I’ve incorporated into that.”

  “And what did you grow up around?” Jazz inquired.

  “My mother was Buddhist and my father is Muslim. For instance, I believe in reincarnation. I don’t necessarily believe we come back as animals though, I think we all have an inner animal already so it is unnecessary but I do believe our soul drifts in and out of this world. I pray at least five times a day, as Muslims do; only I don’t set my prayer times by a clock. I also do salutations to people who I’ve known and loved, and have passed on from this life. I just make sure that I think of God and say thank you, regardless of what I’m going through. I don’t feel the need to announce it or let everyone know what I’m doing, or even go by a clock or strict schedule.”

  “What about Christianity? How do you feel about it?”

  “Again, I feel most religions have elements of beauty and I feel that Christianity is basically Judaism with Christ thrown in. Those are just my personal beliefs. There is nothing unique about Christianity. It’s a hodgepodge of older beliefs. The trinity, for instance, is an ancient Egyptian concept. Some scholars disagree but my research shows otherwise. If you look at the story of Horus and Osiris, there is more evidence of what I speak of. Christianity, Judaism and Islam have been used as an excuse to murder, cause mayhem and torture people. We get too hung up on this. We’re losing our lives over matters that none of us can prove to be one hundred percent true. No one here can prove God exists, but in case of believers, we just know it to be true. I know it to be true and I don’t waste my time trying to convince others of it. The God I believe in wouldn’t want me to hurt someone else for not believing the same way I do. My beliefs are based on love, not pain and hatred.”

  “How do your religious beliefs play into your discussions regarding sex and intimacy?” Jazz asked.

  “What do you mean?” Saint asked as he slowly turned his wedding band from side to side.

  “If you believe in one God and you have blended various religious beliefs into your own concept, what does your personal religion, your spirituality, say about, for instance, premarital sex?” Jazz clarified.

  “Just because some of my subject matters are seen as taboo doesn’t mean I just think anything goes. Sex is a part of the human experience and our existence. None of us would be here without it. There is nothing wrong or dirty about it. There were no courts, churches, mosques and synagogues at the very beginning of time. Man and woman were forging relationships, mating and procreating prior to another man, or group of men, telling them supposedly what God wanted them to do and making them sign paperwork and joint taxes.” Saint laughed. “This is just silly. People have been having sex without rules and regulations since the beginning of their creation. That’s when they decided to find out what would happen if they put their genitals together. They found out. They liked it. They had children and there was no marriage certificate. Just because someone decides they now want to control an entire nation or world of people doesn’t mean that they are correct in whatever doctrines they try to ascribe to our Creator and impose on followers. That said, to answer your question more directly, I think premarital sex is a couple’s decision. I don’t believe in casual sex even though I’ve engaged in it countless times and I don’t regret what I did. I just think the couple should genuinely love each other. For some people that only takes a few hours but for most, at least a few months.”

  “Well, can you really talk to people about that since you did it? It’s like you had your fun and now you want to shake your finger at the rest of us,” Jazz laughed.

  “I just know it didn’t match what I believed. I was a contradiction. There were repercussions, believe me. There are always consequences to everything we say and do whether we see them coming or not.”

  “What kind of repercussions?”

  Saint’s mind drifted to Payton.

  “Let me put it this way. When we go out into the world and give ourselves to people who should never have us, they will always have a piece of us and there can be repercussions, especially if you knew that individual was not someone you should have ever given yourself to in the first place. There are people who are very sick, or sometimes just not a good match for us, and when we make love to them, we create a bond that we don’t want. Once lines and boundaries are crossed purely for lust and sexual desire, there is always a ‘pay the piper’ doomsday. It may be emotional, it could be more. Regardless, for this reason it’s not good to have sex with people we don’t see ourselves with for more than just sex.”

  “OK, understood, now back to the spiritual and religious beliefs. So, you mean to say, your religious beliefs are OK with premarital sex?” Jazz asked.

  “It never was a part of my religious beliefs. I’ve always known that sex was important, powerful, binding, spiritual and emotional. Sex between soul mates is a shared life force regardless of marriage. I married my soul mate for many reasons but as far as I’m concerned, once I knew she was the woman for me, in my mind and heart, we were married. The ceremony was just a formality. Our existence, our relationship, is fluid. In liquid is life. It is a life-force. It is our chi. Our life is in our liquid and our liquid is our blood, urine, saliva and all the other secretions that come from our body and reside within us…but semen carries life. We share those things during lovemaking. I chose to have unprotected sex with one woman and one woman only, because of this. I think the couple at least needs to be exclusive and have strong feelings for one another in an ideal situation but also…” Saint took a sip of his white tea, “we have urges; I don’t think urges are bad if taken care of with the right person. I don’t think it would be so hard to abstain if we were supposed to, actually. I think we are supposed to be making love just with that person who we adore, though.”

  “And you’re still contradicting!” Jazz laughed.

  Saint smiled, “I suppose I am to some extent but to me, it makes sense because what I’m essentially saying is that it’s up to the couple and my personal beliefs don’t have the right to dictate what someone else is doing in their home, sexually speaking. Now, if you come to my office for therapy or to a conference, you are paying to get my opinion and advice, so that’s different. I can’t speak for everyone. In my practice, I spoke to unhappy couples who waited to have sex until they married and their marriage was falling apart because they found out they had completely different sexual styles, desires, and libidos. Some of them didn’t want to try anything new and were abhorrently against anything that wasn’t straight missionary and even that position had to be cookie cutter – no leaning at an angle, no pillows to help tilt a pelvis for deeper penetration, no legs around the neck, nothing – and you can forget about oral or anal. That wasn’t even on the radar.”

  “Wow!”

  “People need to be sexually compatible, or it will destroy their marriage anyway. There need to be discussions a
head of time, open discussions about sexual likes and dislikes, as well as fantasies, so that this sort of thing doesn’t happen. If not, they’d probably be in my office soon.”

  “Are there ways to make an otherwise sexually compatible couple, compatible?” Jazz asked with a lopsided grin.

  “Yes, but they both have to be willing to give, one hundred ten percent. That is not as common as it should be. Usually they aren’t sexually compatible because they are so vastly different in how they view sex in the first place. Meeting in the middle can make it tolerable, but one or both people will always in some way feel deprived. In order to fully enjoy someone sexually, they have to give themselves to you, completely. When there are limits, the fun and enjoyment are also limited. I’m not suggesting that anyone feel pressure to do something they are inherently against, but one must be open minded before slamming down all of their mate’s ideas. Communication is key. The person saying ‘No’ all the time hurts the self-esteem and self-worth of the other person and can also make them feel dirty for even asking in the first place. If two people are in love and what they are doing isn’t harming themselves or the other person, then there is nothing to feel dirty about, but there are so many damaged people. Sex is seen as filthy. It’s not. It’s natural, normal and necessary for human survival and bonding with your significant other.”