Mad About You: A Box Set

by Pamela Ann

  The monthly income I had from my investment dividends wouldn’t be enough if I wanted the foundation to be a large scale one. Of course, there was the option of running a fundraiser, but that would take up a lot of time and playing nice to wealthy people that I wasn’t so fond of. Therefore, that might not be something I’d be willing to do. It was a catch-22. Tricky, really. Well, I supposed there was the internet—emails, to be precise.

  Going through my contact list, I had an excellent network of friends and acquaintances who might be willing to do a donation via online payments. All I had to do was set up a website enlightening them about it.

  This was it! I could very well do this wherever I wanted as long as I had internet access. I could even give them an option for whether they were willing to donate on a monthly, weekly, or bi-weekly basis.

  Giddy about the new project I had in mind, my brain was whirring with all the essential things I had to do tomorrow when a knock came at the door.

  Hearing the ominous sound made me forget everything as I stilled, momentarily frozen. I took a moment to calm down my erratic heart rate. I knew it was him without even opening the door. I felt it all over my body. My senses immediately went on high alert, giving me a hefty warning that he was here.

  “For heaven’s sake, Ava. Stop being such a besotted fool, even just for a second,” I grunted to myself as I envisioned going over to the threshold, opening the door, and greeting him as if I hadn’t waited for him in vain. I could very well pretend that I had been too busy to even think of him, as well.

  Shaking off my nervousness and leaving it behind in the bedroom, I walked towards the door with my fakest yet laudable smile in place.

  “Ava,” he greeted as he assessed me before taking a step farther and placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

  This one simple gesture made feel all sorts of heady from his smell infiltrating my senses. It was on that moment of impact that my body felt vulnerable, my heart plainly visible, and the pain in my eyes flashed before him. It didn’t help my cause when he appeared to look impeccably gorgeous as ever, while I looked like a bedraggled cat with pronounced dark circles under my eyes from my struggling sleeping pattern.

  “Reiss, it’s good to see you again,” my voice finally found itself after the momentary relapse. “Do come in.” Stepping aside to let him walk past me, I had to bite back a groan when his arm accidentally brushed one of my breasts. Even with my bra on, my breasts were highly sensitive.

  “I have the papers for you to sign. Everything will be taken care of with your father’s legal team, thereafter,” he said right as I was shutting the door.

  Facing him as I strolled towards where he was laying all the paperwork on the coffee table, I noted that the hair on the back of his neck had started growing, the polar opposite of the usual impeccable haircut he had donned since I had found him again. He must’ve been quite busy to neglect his grooming. My toxic thoughts could be dwelled upon once I was alone, but for the time being, I needed to gain focus and not get distracted by my suspicions and ill-feelings about his blatant rejection.

  Taking the seat across from him, I picked up one of the papers, browsing through the legal jargon of what my divorce entailed. “Thanks for bringing this over, though you didn’t have to. I’m well capable of picking it up from my father’s office.”

  “I’m sure you are,” he murmured as he took his seat, “but I wanted to make sure that all is set and everything is in order. I don’t want to risk any delay.”

  Barely nodding my head, I took the pen that was readily available on the table before signing on the designated line. One paper after the other, I was burying Ava Westwood—the lost, broken woman who had suffered profound loneliness and had self-loathing for not being able to achieve her dream of being a mother.

  Sighing deeply, I set the pen down after signing the last document, studying my penmanship. Rest in peace, Ava Westwood.

  No more ghosts. I had everything I needed to have a loving, fulfilled life. Even without Reiss’s love, his company and the knowledge that I would be seeing him for the rest of my life was enough to sustain me. I had to remind myself what truly mattered.

  Reiss’s life outside mine shouldn’t be held against him. He had been forthcoming with his intentions and hadn’t made any promises to me that suggested anything beyond what he could offer. The problem was me and the way I could easily deceive myself into believing I had the power to change his feelings for me. It was human nature to expect such things; however, my brain must function with lucidity, or I’d end up with nothing, nothing at all.

  “Is there anything else you need from me?” I asked, looking up to him, bright-eyed and expectant.

  He shook his head. “For now, no. If there are any changes that require you to sign a document, rest-assured, I’ll personally take care of it.”

  “Okay. Thank you, I suppose.” My finger toyed with the ends of the cushion. I felt at odds with myself because, each time I gazed at him, I couldn’t help wondering when he’d plan to stay the night again. Or the important details of his vanishing act, the aftermath of it, anyway. Those two questions were something I could not possibly say out loud without repercussions. Both posed the threat that he could very well walk out of here without saying another word, and I did not want that to happen since he had taken his jolly time to visit me this time.

  “Did Father tell you the timeframe of when the divorce will be finalized?”

  “He and his team are working on it. He hopes that the decree nisi will be made absolute by the courts in a matter of days as long as Ashton doesn’t oppose anything in the contract.”

  “In a matter of days?” Bloody Hell. I hadn’t seen that coming. When he had mentioned expediting the process the last time he had been here, I’d thought he meant weeks stretching to a few months. But in a matter of days? I was rendered speechless. Did he plan to marry the next day since he wanted me to be his dirty little secret? Fuck. I hadn’t thought that I’d be upset about it, but somehow I was. All those inner talks I had held with myself flew out the window the moment I realized I would be saying my vows much too soon. Could I mentally prepare myself in less than a week? In a few days perhaps?

  “When do you plan to marry?” I cautiously asked him while the profound distance between us felt palpable.

  “I applied for a special marriage license a few days ago, which should arrive in a day or two. Once your divorce is approved, we could get married as soon as arranged.” He pulled his phone from his breast pocket, his face expressionless when he said, “If your divorce is granted within five days, we could marry the day after.” He sounded monotonous, as though we weren’t talking about marriage at all. It was like a rehearsed speech, with no feelings involved.

  Pressing down the bubbling hysteria that was about to erupt, I shook my head, not agreeing with him. “If it’s granted within five days, we’ll marry on the third day after.” I was standing my ground because there were things that were important to me, and I needed to learn how to tamper those down before signing my life away to be his somewhat kept secret.

  “Very well. That’s not a tough request. I can easily accommodate that.”

  I’m sure you can, I quietly mocked as I plastered on a saccharine smile. “Thank you.”

  “And, as for the wedding, since we are pressed with time, do you have any reservations for it taking place at the registrar’s office in Westminster?”

  “No.” This was a business transaction, nothing more. He was treating it as such, and thus, any fanciful notion about fairytales was absolutely crushed. “The registrar’s office is perfectly fine. I mean, I had the grand wedding with Ashton with all the frills and grandiosity one could manage. Something simple would be more fitting the second time around.”

  “Yes, your wedding had all the trappings and embellishments. Your father didn’t spare any expense for his only daughter.” His comment weighed heavily with unmistakable sarcasm.

  What an odd thing to say, especially com
ing from him.

  Licking my lips, I frowned at him. “I suppose it was lavish compared to standard weddings, but it wasn’t—”

  “It was,” he immediately interrupted. “You know it was. You don’t have to be ashamed to admit that the wedding of the year wouldn’t be dubbed as such if it didn’t cost an obscene amount of money. The flowers were specifically flown in from South America, weren’t they?”

  “It was one of my mother’s ingenious ideas, as was the rest.” Sure, the wedding had been beyond costly, but my father had believed then that I was only going to marry once; therefore, he hadn’t imposed a budget. “The days leading up to the wedding were such a fiasco that I was almost willing to bet it’d be a complete disaster when the final day arrived,” I said out loud, my thoughts transporting me into the past. “Chaotic though it was, everything came out beautifully.”

  “As did you,” he coarsely said, sounding strained. “You looked just like I pictured you would—breathtakingly enchanting, as if you just stepped out of my dream and came to life.”

  Was that a compliment? Did he really used to dream of me that way … in a wedding dress? Yes. The old Reiss would have. It brought immeasurable sadness as I thought of the wasted love he had for me—his love that I could never get back.

  Pasting on brave smile, I played his compliment coolly, like it didn’t affect me greatly. “The society magazine photos surely didn’t capture anything breathtakingly enchanting, not as far as I can remember.”

  His eyes zeroed in on me, the emerald greens pulling me in. “Possibly, but I can’t attest to that since I never saw the magazine.”

  “Oh.” I was beyond confused. “We only released those photos for the feature, but I wasn’t aware that there were more floating around.”

  “Who said that I saw it from the media?”

  There was a long pause while I stared at him hard, brows furrowing, as if I was trying to solve the solution to world hunger. “But, if you didn’t, then …”

  The pin dropped.

  I vehemently shook my head, scoffing in protest. “You can’t possibly mean … it’s just not…”

  His face hardened, seeming carved of stone. “Is it really, Ava?”

  He was toying with my mind because he was twisted enough to like seeing me uncomfortable.

  “It’s just not, Reiss. I mean, I don’t see why?” I was almost screeching at him with my body sitting halfway off the sofa, clearly ready to argue with him.

  He gave me a lasting look, casually shrugging before his gaze dropped, perusing the table that sat between us. “I don’t know…” he murmured to himself before he raked a hand over his hair, looking more confused by the second. “Maybe because I wanted to really see it for myself. Maybe because I needed to hear you give your vows to be his wife. Maybe I needed another reason to stay away from you forever.” He seemed like his thoughts were far away, recalling that very day.

  “At first, I convinced myself I needed some type of closure from you since we parted in such an awful manner, and then I could leave in the middle of the ceremony. But, when I saw you emerge from the car … looking exactly as I had pictured you … I would constantly get these dreams of you walking down the altar towards me. Seeing you look that way, something violent happened inside me, and all I wanted was to stop you from marrying him.”

  Dear Heavens. How could I truly delude myself after hearing him say these things? I wanted to beg, yet again, for another try, but I was far too scared of being rejected once more.

  Swallowing the hard ball of hurt that felt like it was stuck in my throat, I was almost in tears as I asked him one vital question, “What stopped you?”

  “You were standing in the aisle, ready to walk down as they fixed your veiled train. Your hands were almost white as you gripped your bouquet. The choir started and everyone in your wedding entourage went about their positions, waiting for their time to march down the aisle. It was then that I saw you gaze towards the altar, seeking his eyes, as if you needed strength or maybe encouragement that he was madly in love with you. He nodded, smiling at you, and you smiled back as if everything had suddenly become okay. Any protests or notions I had then disappeared. So I left and never looked back.”

  But I didn’t even recall doing that. Maybe I had. All I could remember from then was how nervous I had been and how much I hadn’t wanted to be there. For weeks, I’d had nightmares that were so vivid they never failed to leave me in tears. It would always be Reiss, telling me to follow his heart, and I would eventually find mine. Funny how our subconscious were both giving us signs—omens—we did nothing about. Well, I did nothing.

  “Had you appeared to me then, I would have run away with you. I could’ve been with you, married to you instead of him.”

  “What happened was for the best, even though I didn’t think so then. But, after a few months passed, I got over it. I got over you along with the pathetic love I had so proudly vowed never to take for granted. We were young and didn’t know better. I’m glad things turned out this way, anyhow. At least I found out that love could be found again with the right woman and not someone who’s barely more than a child and didn’t know what being selfless meant.”

  However, I wasn’t that naïve girl any longer. Couldn’t he see that? And what did he mean about finding love again…?

  “When you said you found love, are you speaking in a past tense or present tense?”

  “Present,” he uttered without hesitation.

  “Oh,” I whispered in a small voice, trying to hold it together. “So … is she around?” Were they even together? The web of confusion thickened.

  “Very much so, I’m afraid.”

  My nails dug into my palm, hoping I’d draw blood. I felt entirely numb from the crashing blow after blow he was stabbing me with. “Does she know about me and what you’re planning to do with me?”

  He sighed, giving me a stressed look before checking the time on his wrist. “If you really must know, she and I agreed that, when the time is right, we’ll be together. She understands where she stands with me, and that’s all that matters.”

  There it was, life telling me to royally fuck off. The harm had been done, and there was nothing that could be built from the ashes. I simply had to deal with my reality—that Reiss was another woman’s man, and he was making the ultimate sacrifice to appease my father for reasons I wasn’t so sure about. Whatever it was, he was willing to put his life on hold to do my father’s demands before he went back to her.

  “Had you told me in the very beginning, things would’ve been very different between us. But, from here on, I promise you that you can rest assured that I won’t do anything to jeopardize your relationship with her. Even after everything, I still want you to find happiness, and I mean that with everything I am.”

  I was his first love, but sadly, I wasn’t his last.

  Chapter 149

  Ava

  “Are you sure you don’t want your parents to attend?” Allie skeptically looked at me. “I know this isn’t the most ideal of situations, but it is your wedding day, in case that teeny bit escaped your notice.”

  “I’m very sure.” I was going to meet Reiss in a few hours’ time.

  When he had offered to pick me up or send his driver to take me to the location, I had declined his offer, saying I had Allie with me and she had her own means of transportation.

  We were in my bedroom, and I had just had the urgency to try on the outfit because my stomach had growled with such ferocity earlier that morning that I simply couldn’t resist indulging myself with a full English breakfast: half a cup of coffee, a bowl of fruit along with a bowl of freshly made cream, a pair of croissants, and a chocolate bar of my favorite Chunky KitKat.

  Relief spread through me when the buttons didn’t appear to be on the verge of popping off. The powder blue outfit paired with a cream lace camisole underneath made me look feminine, yet I still appeared business-like and reserved. Though, the suit never used to sit this way—sk
in-tight and snug.

  I supposed I could credit most of my recent weight gain to a sporadic burst of cravings. The cravings intensified if I didn’t tide them over with crackers or plain toast. My breasts appeared like they had doubled in size overnight. How was that even possible?

  I was frowning down at my cleavage when Allie started speaking again.

  “Don’t get me wrong, the suit looks fantastic on you, but … as your best friend, I feel obligated to warn you that this outfit will forever be in pictures. That, I believe, is history, love. And, if it were me, I’d make sure I looked more than stellar, not that you don’t, because you do. But, bloody fuck, a suit? It’s criminal, Ava! Even if it’s Chanel we’re crucifying here. If she were alive and standing here before you, she’d give you the same advice.” She definitely was mystified, staring at me as if I had committed the worst crime of the century. In her eyes, maybe I had.

  Weddings to her meant elaborate occasions, just like my marriage to Ashton. She even dared to point out that she did her investigation, and with Reiss’s monetary worth, he could very well buy his own country to dictate if he so wished it. She believed he was a blasted scrooge for not being willing to dish out a fortune on the wedding because I was already carrying his child. Her theories were so unhinged I simply had to roll my eyes.

  “Christ, Allie, did I not emphasize that this was all business? This union isn’t going to last. It’s only temporary. So, clearly, we both find it fitting that we do it in the simplest, quickest way possible without any hassle.”

  “Fine. As long as it suits you both, I suppose I can’t detest it as much,” she conceded, giving me a wry smile.

  I knew that truly bothered her, and I couldn’t love her more for showing concern. However, the days leading up to this particular one had truly opened my eyes as to what Reiss was going through—sacrificing his own happiness for the sake of his child. It was a noble thing to do; yet it merely proved to me that love wasn’t everything. There were instances that could jeopardize everything you had, placing you in limbo. Those sometimes important details could not be disregarded; they required selfless sacrifices that could be detrimental to the future of our loved ones.