by Eva Brandt
We were wearing too many clothes. I needed to be skin to skin with him, right this instant. I needed him to fuck me, to claim me, to show me everything that he was and make me his.
Unfortunately for me, things didn’t work out quite that way. I wasn’t sure how it happened, but one moment, we were happily making out, and the next, we were both falling over, rolling off the couch in a jumble of limbs.
We landed straight against my coffee table. By some kind of miracle, the wood didn’t splinter, but the mugs shattered and the still hot tea spilled all over the place. At the last moment, Declan shielded my body with his own, protecting me from any damage, but that didn’t really make me feel better.
“What the actual fuck?” I asked, half in a daze. “What happened?”
“My hand slipped,” Declan replied tightly. As he got up, he scanned me from head to toe, analyzing me for any sign of injury. Once satisfied that I was unscathed, he added, “I’m sorry. This was a mistake.”
Shit. I had really fucked up on this one. “It was only an accident,” I said weakly, well aware that I didn’t sound in the least bit convincing. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
Declan shook his head. “Angel, you said it yourself earlier. Most things happen for a reason. This is a warning, one we have to take to heart.”
“But Declan—”
“Don’t worry,” Declan cut me off. “I’ll still keep my word to you, as long as you agree to what I said. But just so you know, if I see any sign, any sign whatsoever that the curse is advancing and having an effect on you... Deal or not, I’m swallowing a silver bullet, even if it’s tomorrow or the day after. Do you understand?”
I could not ask any more of Declan. I had already pushed him enough, and I had decided to respect his beliefs as well, no matter how painful they were. “Yeah, all right. I get it. Thank you. And... I’m sorry.”
Declan shot me a weak smile. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault, for any of this. It’s mine, for not being what I’m supposed to be, what you deserve.”
That wasn’t true, but I didn’t get the chance to correct Declan. “I’ll speak with my brother and text you the details of when you can meet with him,” he finished. “In the meantime, be careful. Don’t go out of the house unaccompanied and listen to what Kai has to say. Promise me.”
“I promise,” I whispered. I felt like a heel for kissing him when it had so obviously been a bad idea. The only thing that comforted me was the fact that Declan had kissed me back, but it had still been a serious lapse of judgment. If I wanted to break the curse, I couldn’t go around letting my libido get the better of me. Being defiant was all well and good, but at one point, it could become sheer stupidity.
Declan nodded in satisfaction. “If you start feeling off for any reason at all, contact me immediately. No exceptions. Promise me.”
I was reluctant to make this second promise, considering the whole “swallowing a silver bullet’” thing, but Declan’s stern glance forced the words past my lips. “I promise.”
“Good. And now, I should probably go. It’s very late, and you’ve had a long day.”
The Alarian royals had told Declan that he was free to do whatever he pleased for one whole day, but I was not surprised that my soulmate had chosen to not spend more time by my side. Asking him to stay the night was out of the question, as was apologizing again, so I forced a smile I did not feel and offered, “Give them hell. Remember nobody messes with my soulmate and gets away with it.”
Despite not being appropriate for the circumstances, the words drew a laugh out of Declan. “All right, angel. I’ll remember.”
There was so much more I would’ve liked to say. I wanted to ask if Declan would agree to see me again after this fiasco. I didn’t have the courage. Declan turned away from me and left the apartment without a single word of goodbye.
It was almost too sudden, and I felt his departure like a physical blow. Maybe in a way, I was also grateful that Declan hadn’t uttered any farewell since it would’ve made the whole thing feel even more permanent. Still, I got the message loud and clear.
Declan didn’t think it was possible for us to be together, and despite his promise, he’d do his utmost to put distance between us.
“Can you really blame him?” the mysterious voice asked, popping up in my head for the first time since its disappearance at the Palasion. “He’s not wrong to be worried about you.”
“I suppose that’s true,” I replied, studiously ignoring the small part of me that reminded me of Declan’s warning about the voice. “But that doesn’t mean I’ll give up.”
For good or ill, I had bought myself some time. I might have made a mistake by kissing Declan, but it wasn’t the end of the world. As long as we were still alive, we still had a chance, and I would use it to the best of my ability.
* * *
Malachai
Shrouded by the familiar embrace of the night, I stood on the edge of the building, feeling a little like a voyeur as I watched Declan talk to Lucienne inside her apartment. A voice at the back of my mind insisted that I should have been with them, but I sternly reminded it of the one truth we could not deny.
I wasn’t here to pursue any kind of relationship with Lucienne or Declan. My mission was to keep an eye on her until the prince figured out what in the name of the gods was going on. Initiating something under these circumstances would be both unnecessary and idiotic. It might even endanger Lucienne.
The prince had been right to be concerned. Lucienne didn’t seem to understand the peril she was in, because all of a sudden, she practically pounced on Declan and crushed their mouths together.
For a few moments, Declan went rigid. Without a doubt, he realized the risks as well as I did. In the end, though, the desire he felt for Lucienne won out, and he ended up making out with her on her couch, devouring her mouth like a starving man would a feast.
I didn’t blame him in the slightest. How could I, when even looking at them stirred my bloodlust and inflamed my senses? If I hadn’t taken the feeding serum before I’d left the Palasion, I really might have done something stupid.
Distantly, I wondered if Prince Darius had branched out into precognition, or if the extent of my problem had been that obvious.
Declan and Lucienne’s kiss didn’t last as long as they would’ve probably liked. Something went wrong—although I couldn’t tell what had happened from my angle—and they fell off the couch, shattering their mugs and spilling their beverages. As expected, Declan protected Lucienne, but the incident ended not only their make-out session but also their conversation.
Within minutes, Declan was out of Lucienne’s apartment, heading toward his car. Taking advantage of the occasion, I temporarily left my observation post and caught up with him.
I didn’t have a lot of time at my disposal since I needed to get back to my mission. However, talking to Declan was also on my to-do list. Prince Darius had said that he would explain, and I had actually been tempted to call him, but a face-to-face discussion was better.
Declan sensed my approach and veered into an alley, probably intending to give us some privacy for our unavoidable talk. Once again, I followed him, and I found him leaning against the filthy wall of the building, rummaging through his pockets with shaking hands.
“You don’t have your cigarettes with you, Declan,” I reminded him. “That’s not actually your uniform.”
“Right,” Declan said, abandoning his futile quest. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately.” He shot me a small, sad smile. “I’m sorry again, about earlier.”
“And I told you before that it’s not your fault. I would’ve had the same problem even if you hadn’t been a factor at all.”
Well, mostly. If Declan hadn’t become a guardian, we would have never met up with Kai, and our battle with the scavengers wouldn’t have spilled into the club. I might never have met Lucienne. But that was hardly Declan’s fault or his responsibility.
&n
bsp; “Listen, Declan, I need to talk to you about something very important. I kept it from you earlier, and I apologize, but I wasn’t sure how to handle it either.”
Declan frowned, his eyes shining like green beacons in the darkness of the alley. “What is it, Mal? Is something wrong?” When I gave him a disbelieving look, he amended his inquiry. “I mean, something other than me finding my soulmate and utterly fucking things up with her.”
“That’s just it, Declan. You’re not the only one who utterly fucked things up with Lucienne. And you’re not the only one who is her soulmate.”
As soon as I said the words, it occurred to me that I should’ve been a little more tactful when I had made that revelation. I wasn’t usually so reckless. Maybe Fostress Smythe had given me spoiled feeding serum out of spite, due to my unappreciative attitude.
What was I thinking? Fostress Smythe couldn’t feel spite. My mind was going in strange places again.
Declan gaped at me, clenching and unclenching his fists. I suspected that if I’d been anyone else, he would have already done something very violent. “Excuse me? Is that supposed to be some kind of joke? If it is, I’m not laughing, Mal.”
“You know very well that I wouldn’t joke with something like this,” I chastised him, although my heart wasn’t into it. I could understand his disbelief. Hadn’t I experienced it myself, less than an hour ago? Since I’d already blurted out part of the problem, I decided to tell him the whole thing. “She’s my soulmate too, Declan, and also Prince Darius’s.”
“Mal, tell me the truth. I got silver poisoning and I’m hallucinating this conversation, right?”
Despite myself, I couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle. “I thought exactly the same thing when he told me about it. I honestly have no idea if he was truthful or not, although I don’t see why he would lie. But Prince Darius aside, I can tell you this. Lucienne is my soulmate. I sensed it the moment I touched her, at the club. I’m sorry I kept it from you, but I thought that knowing would just make things more difficult.”
“I suppose I can understand that,” Declan replied quietly. “And to tell you the truth, I can believe it. That you and I... That we’d share a soulmate. It makes sense.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” I murmured. The memory of Declan kissing Lucienne flashed through my mind, followed by Prince Darius’s warning. One week. We didn’t have a lot of time left. If I didn’t do this now, I might never get a chance.
Defiance rose up inside me. This was stupid, so very stupid, but just once... Maybe, just this once, it wouldn’t be so bad to follow my heart.
I slowly walked up to my friend and leaned into his personal space. For the first time since we’d met, I allowed my barriers to fall, showing him exactly what I felt, giving him the chance to pull away if he so desired.
He didn’t. Instead, he met me half-way, pressing his lips to mine in the kiss I had craved for longer than I would ever admit.
It wasn’t like the kiss I’d seen him share with our soulmate, and even less like other stolen moments of pleasure spent with the occasionally interested fellow guardians. We both parted our lips naturally, adapting to each other as easily as we did on the battlefield. Our tongues entangled, and I groaned as an enticingly complex flavor exploded in my mouth, making my head spin with desire.
Unable to resist the temptation, I let my fangs slide over his lower lip, slicing the flesh ever so slightly. As the taste of his life essence assaulted me, I pinned him against the wall, greedily sucking on the wound, desperate for more.
This was probably a lot like what a recovering alcoholic experienced when falling off the wagon after years of staying dry. No, it was both better and worse than that. I hadn’t had a drop of real blood—not even animal—for decades, and I’d jumped straight into drinking Declan’s like a careless fledgling. The potent ecstasy I felt whenever I sated my natural thirst flared so brightly, so quickly, that the natural predator inside me awoke. Declan’s lust invaded me through our coppery-tinged kiss, and I ground against him, completely erect. I could feel Declan’s hard-on against me through the thin barrier of our uniforms, and I wanted nothing more than to drop to my knees, unzip his pants with my teeth and feed from his cock.
But some things were just more important than others, and I’d already gone too far. I tore myself away from Declan, breathing hard, aching in every possible way and wishing more fiercely than ever before that things had been different. “You taste like her, don’t you?” I asked.
My voice came out raspy and raw, like I’d been spending time in the shifted form I hadn’t used in over a decade. He nodded and slumped against the wall of the building, not seeming very upset that I’d witnessed the private moment he’d shared with Lucienne. “A little bit, I suppose. I never should have kissed her. I just... I lost control, Mal. This is so dangerous. She can get seriously hurt, but I’m not sure how to explain it to her. The moment I’m in her presence, my mind stops working properly.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re not the only one suffering from that affliction.”
We shared a look, and for a few moments, Declan’s gaze lingered on my mouth. I wasn’t doing much better since his flushed face and disheveled appearance were wreaking havoc on my self-control. The slight wound I’d made with my fangs had already healed, but the damage had been done, and I would never be able to get the taste of his blood out of my head.
“We’re so fucked up, Mal,” he murmured. The cold rays of the moon made shadows dance over his face. “Prince Darius too? Seriously?”
“Yes. I have no idea how that works since he’s obviously not dead, but for what it’s worth, he seems genuinely worried about Lucienne’s well-being. He said that he’s not convinced that our deaths will keep her safe, because there is a possibility of her having other mates. But at the same time, he thinks that we need to end this within a week, if we don’t want any harm to come to her.”
Declan’s answer to that was not what I expected. He fidgeted, looking a little like a fledgling who’d been caught snacking on an already half-drained human. “About that,” he replied, “I might have promised to give her two weeks to investigate the possibility of breaking the curse. She originally asked for a month, but I vetoed that. I thought that giving her two weeks was a good compromise.”
“Compromise. Are you joking, Declan? The curse won’t accept compromises. You know that as well as I do. And now that there’s three of us...”
“Well I wasn’t aware of that at the time,” he snapped at me. “The two weeks would’ve been within the limit of the regular one-month deadline, and I thought that her being magical would protect her. I made an error in judgment, I admit, but I couldn’t deny her.”
Fuck. All right. Technically speaking, Declan’s promise wouldn’t keep us from taking the final step if it was necessary, but it did point out once again that Prince Darius had been right to be concerned.
Lucienne was stubborn and she wouldn’t give up on this. She wouldn’t give up on us—or at least on Declan—so easily. And the worst thing was that, despite everything, I couldn’t help but be a little grateful for it. Even knowing that her life was at risk, she was insisting on finding an alternative rather than allowing Declan to go through with our method. That meant a lot.
The brief surge of optimism vanished when Declan continued to speak. “She also said that she’s been hearing a voice in her head, and it’s been telling her a lot of things about us, about how things work in our world.”
“A voice?” I repeated in disbelief. “That can’t be good. Do you suppose... The mind blur?”
Declan nodded glumly. “It’s a possibility. I’m really worried, Mal. It’s part of the reason why I agreed to our compromise. I told her I’d give her the two weeks as long as she gets treatment for her problem and accepts help from Kai while on her quest. I want to ask him to direct me to a competent healer as well.”
As much as I appreciated the help Declan’s brother had given us with the scavengers, I dou
bted Kai had access to the kind of medical facility Lucienne would need for such a serious health problem. There were plenty of healers unaffiliated with any of our factions, but they tended to avoid Accursed of any type.
Already regretting the words I was about to say, I forced myself to act as the devil’s advocate. “Prince Darius would be—”
“Darius is the reason why she’s in this situation,” Declan cut me off with a snarl. “He fucked with her mind and now he’s claiming to be her soulmate? I don’t believe it, Mal. I won’t. I’ll believe you, but not him. Not ever. Besides, she doesn’t want to have anything to do with the Pures anyway.”
The memory of Lucienne’s unconscious form in the ambulance flashed through my mind. That hadn’t been done by the scavengers. It was Prince Darius who had inflicted the damage upon her. Still, I forced myself to suppress my anger. “I don’t understand how any of it is possible either, but he seems to believe it. He seems to think that he is her soulmate. And Alarians are many things, but they are not liars. There’s no purpose in lying to a guardian.”
“There has to be.” Declan shook his head, still refusing to accept what I was telling him. “I can’t just... trust him.”
I couldn’t blame Declan for that, not when I had so many doubts about Darius’s true motivations, about everything that was going on. “I understand. I just want you to keep an open mind and remember our priorities. We can’t let our fury taint our perspective of what is best for Lucienne.”
Silence fell between us as Declan contemplated my words. “You’re right,” he finally said. “I’m sorry. I’m being unreasonable. Prince Darius is better than nothing and probably Lucienne’s best option. And we might not have a choice.” He took a deep breath as if bracing himself for something very painful. “Mal, do you suppose it may have already begun?”
His question made me recoil. The possibility had not occurred to me, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made.
