by Eva Brandt
Three-quarters of the time, the soulmate of an Accursed died from a very aggressive form of cancer. In the case of vampires, it was similar to leukemia. For werewolves, it varied, but it was usually esophageal cancer. But Alarians... What kind of disease did their soulmates contract? Was it the same thing or another affliction entirely?
Simple logic stated that whatever Lucienne would get because of her bond with Darius would be much worse than our versions. Darius had not mentioned what it would be. Like us, he had thought we had a little more time at our disposal. But he hadn’t known about the voice, just like Declan hadn’t known about me and Darius being Lucienne’s soulmates when he had spoken to her.
What if this was another anomaly, in a different way? What if she was already sick? Had the mind blur set her up for something far worse?
“It seems unlikely that the curse would have already started to manifest,” I said. “Someone at the Palasion would have noticed before the two of you left. Still, I’ll talk to Prince Darius about it. You talk to your brother. We’ll figure something out, Declan. We won’t let Lucienne die.”
“No, we won’t,” Declan replied decisively. “We’ll protect her, no matter what we have to do.”
We shared a look and I understood the meaning of his words. I refused to believe that Lucienne’s light would be extinguished like this. She deserved to have a real life, to be happy, safe and free.
“If nothing else, Mal... I always thought that you and I would die together.”
“I’d say that’s romantic, but it’s really not.”
We stared at the block of flats where our soulmate was still presumably trying to find a solution for our problem, perhaps already ill because of a curse she did not understand. The world wasn’t fair. Death wasn’t romantic, not ever. It was filthy, cruel and final. We’d surrender to it anyway because we had no other choice.
Thirteen
Plagues
Declan
The next day
“So let me get this straight. You found your human soulmate during the attack at the club, and you tried to bond with her, to help her survive. Then, the two of you met up again when you went after that group of scavengers, at which point the Pures realized what had happened and decided to execute you. You’re only alive now because it turns out she’s not human after all. She’s also not very happy with your approach on how to handle the curse, and she wants to try to break it. You gave her two weeks to accomplish this, in exchange for her getting treatment for the voice in her head. Then it turns out that she’s also your vampire boyfriend’s soulmate and your boss’s other half. You’re freaking out because you think she might already be sick. You want me to find her a healer and help her while she’s trying to solve a problem we’ve been unable to fix for over a millennium.”
I narrowed my eyes at my older brother, cursing my luck and the life choices that had led me to this moment. Contacting Kai again and managing to convince him to come to another meeting had been a bit of a challenge, and it had taken me longer than I’d have liked. We’d had trouble picking an appropriate spot, but I’d eventually found an abandoned construction site that proved to be the perfect solution. Now, however, it appeared that I’d also have Kai’s skepticism to deal with.
I crossed my arms over my chest, knowing I looked defensive but unable to control the impulse. “Yes, Kai, that’s an adequate summary. Can you help me with this? I don’t have anyone else to ask, and we’re running out of time.”
That was the understatement of the century. No matter what Malachai said, I did not trust Darius with Lucienne’s well-being, and I couldn’t fathom why he would be her soulmate. My disbelief wouldn’t be enough to keep me from resorting to the Alarians for medical assistance if I absolutely had to, but at the same time, I still felt that finding an alternative would be better.
Lucienne needed a support network that was independent from Alaria. King Sterling might have proven to be cooperative so far, but that could change, especially once it became obvious that Lucienne was the indirect reason for his heir’s death. Kai would be able to keep Lucienne safe, and my former pack would protect her, even if they still begrudged me for what I had done. They were too honorable for anything different.
Unfortunately, Kai chose not to answer my question, or rather, answered it with a question of his own. “Do you really think this will help you in any way? I mean, don’t get me wrong. You’re my brother, and I’m happy you didn’t commit suicide. But it just seems strange that you’d decide to take this approach.”
At the back of my mind, my wolf snarled in frustration and fury. I couldn’t completely blame Kai for doubting my integrity, but no matter how many foul things I’d done, I would have never used Lucienne to get to Kai. “I’m not lying to you, Kai. I know you and the others still feel I betrayed the pack, and maybe I did. But this is different. I became a guardian to protect my soulmate. How could you possibly believe that I’d go against that?”
Kai grimaced, but some of the barely perceivable tension in his stance faded. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I believe you, Declan, but you should probably know that the information we have at our disposal might not make too much of a difference, and my healer contacts might not be up to the task you’d like them to deal with.”
I had expected that. Banished shape-shifters had less of a chance to break the curse than Alarians did, because their way of life was far more insular and, in some ways, limited. It relied heavily on the individual strength of each member of the pack, pride or family unit, and while that did make sense, in theory, in practice it didn’t give them too much to work with. Certain werewolf packs did communicate with one another to share information and resources, but it wasn’t an actually cohesive political system.
To make matters worse, my departure had hit my former pack hard, and not just because of my individual skills. By becoming a guardian, I had compromised a lot of their safe houses, dens, hunting grounds, and other resources, including the medical staff they turned to for emergencies. I had been selfish to leave the way I had, yes, and I was selfish now, for making the request anyway, but I had to try.
“Our best hope, at least in this matter, is probably Prince Darius,” I said. “But in the long run, even assuming he does manage to help her, we won’t be able to rely on him for much longer. I have no idea how his family is going to handle that, but it probably won’t be in a way that will be good for her.” I paused, considering the next thing I was going to say, the one other task I knew my brother alone could understand. “I don’t think this will help me. I’ll still die, perhaps in less than a week. But that’s just it. Lucienne... She’ll have a hard time accepting it. We’re still practically strangers, and I’m trying to keep my distance, but her being a mind mage complicates things and after my fuck up at the club... Well, suffice to say something is already there.
“She’s going to need someone who can help her... after. Not just with the sickness. I mean, emotionally. More than one of you will understand how she will feel, the loss that comes with the death of a soulmate. So, please. I know I’m being unreasonable, but do this for me.”
For a few seconds, silence fell between us as Kai processed the request. And then, he moved, walking up to me in determined strides. “All right, brother,” he said, squeezing my shoulder. “When you put it that way, I can hardly refuse. I’ll look into it.”
I smiled at him, not bothering to suppress my relief. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”
Kai let go of my shoulder and shrugged, affecting a nonchalance I knew he didn’t really feel. “Don’t mention it. It’s the least I can do. Also, I have to admit I’m curious about this human/not-human mind mage of yours. She must be pretty special if you’re willing to jump through so many hoops for her.”
“Oh, you have no idea. Special is putting it very, very lightly.”
Lucienne was the perfect fit for me. She made her own way in life and followed her own beliefs, no matter what anyone else might have sai
d. Leaving aside the incredible sexual chemistry between us, I felt drawn to her, simply because of who she was, as a person. She would’ve suited Malachai just as perfectly. They had the same hidden kindness that I could so often see in my vampire partner, the same passionate and determined nature.
In a different world, I would’ve deemed myself blessed for having Lucienne as my soulmate, and for being able to share her with Malachai. In this one, that blessing had been twisted and stolen from us and, despite the bond already forming between us, we would never be together.
“It’s kind of funny,” I whispered, “but I think that meeting her... It makes me understand you and the others a little more. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do if it meant I could be with her. But at the same time, I know it’s not practical, and I have to save her, no matter what.”
“I can respect that, Declan,” Kai replied, “although for what it’s worth, I’ve always felt that the fate of the person who is left behind is crueler.”
I knew that, and I knew that everyone else in the pack felt the same. Otherwise, they would’ve never embraced the soulmate bonds. I just didn’t agree with them. Maybe it was cowardly of me, but I couldn’t trade my soulmate’s life for my own.
We had only shared one kiss, but it had felt so right, so perfect. Holding Lucienne in my arms and making love to her mouth had been like a dream come true. Yes, if I could’ve had that forever, I would have thrown everything and anything out the window. But it wasn’t meant to be, and once we were gone, Lucienne might still have a chance to find happiness with someone else.
For that to be possible, we needed to make sure she stayed alive, which could only happen if I cooperated with the brother I had turned my back on and the Alarian prince whom I despised. It was a small price to pay, given that I’d also probably have to watch Malachai die. We both agreed it was necessary, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.
Malachai deserved better too. He’d never even gotten to speak to Lucienne, to talk to her properly, to touch her and taste her lips. Why did things have to be this way?
Tasting bile, I forced myself to focus on the conversation. “I don’t think we’ll ever agree on that specific topic, brother,” I told Kai.
“Probably not, not now.” Not when you have so little time left to live. Kai didn’t say that, but I heard it anyway, and I appreciated my brother’s acceptance.
I also heard the quiet grief in his voice and knew that in his own way, Kai would blame himself for not being able to save me. There was very little I could say to change that. The loss of a family member, especially a sibling, did not go away easily for werewolves. I truly was a despicable person for blackmailing Kai to help Lucienne, when things were already so difficult.
Apologizing for it would’ve been dishonest, though, so I turned my attention toward practicalities. We did not have too much time at our disposal, and not just because I was a dead man walking. There was no telling when Lucienne’s condition would start to worsen. Even if the voice was not connected to the curse, she needed help, as soon as possible.
“Here’s Lucienne’s phone number and address,” I said, passing Kai the piece of paper with my soulmate’s information. “She works from home, so you should be able to contact her at any time today and make further arrangements for a more convenient way to speak.”
Kai pocketed the paper without looking at it. “And what about you? What will you do?”
“I’m still a guardian, remember? I still have a duty to fulfill.”
Kai didn’t question me any further. “All right, Declan. I’ll keep you posted on our progress. Take care of yourself. And don’t be a stranger. I expect to see you at least one more time before the end.”
“Will do.”
We didn’t hug before Kai left. There were still so many doubts, grudges and broken promises marring our relationship, and Kai was still the Alpha of a pack I had betrayed. He drove away first, and only after his car had disappeared did I get into my own vehicle and head back toward the Palasion. My day off was not yet over, but the only other option was going back to Lucienne’s apartment, and that would be a recipe for disaster.
Mere minutes after Kai and I had gone our separate ways, I felt something tug at my insides. At first, the sensation was discreet, barely there, like the flutter of butterfly wings. It was a little unnerving, but not something of concern. It only took a couple of moments for that to change. All of a sudden, my vision blurred, and my hand flickered on the wheel, sprouting claws without me being able to control it. “What... What the hell...”
I took a deep breath, forcibly leashing the wolf that was stirring inside me for no apparent reason. “Nice try,” a familiar voice said from behind me, “but you won’t get away so easily.”
My eyes shot to the rear-view mirror, and much to my shock, I found myself staring straight at my beautiful soulmate. “Angel?”
Lucienne smiled at me, and just like that, pain exploded over me. My spine cracked, and I cried out as my body contorted, forcing me into a strange, mid-shift that had very little to do with the regular process I used when I changed shapes. Fur sprouted over my skin, only to melt away seconds later. My fangs dropped and were then torn straight out of my gums, replaced by regular teeth. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe. Instead of fully turning into a wolf, I was shoved over and over through the shift. Everything was a blur of nonsensical images, the wolf side of me clashing with the man in a way that shouldn’t have been possible.
The hellish agony came to a halt as swiftly as it started. Still shaking from the aftermath of the strange attack, I attempted to move, only to realize I couldn’t.
In fact, it appeared there had been more than one reason why I’d experienced pain during my strange fit. I had lost control of the car. Of course I had. I wouldn’t have been able to drive while having a shifting seizure behind the wheel. The vehicle had flipped, and my constant shape-changing had damaged the seat-belt and the airbag. It was a minor miracle that I wasn’t already dead, although the smell of gasoline that reached my nostrils told me that I needed to get out of there if I didn’t want that situation to change within the next couple of minutes. I was no Alarian and I had no magic to control something like this.
With a pained groan, I forced my car door open. Despite my injury, my Accursed nature didn’t fail me, and the metal yielded to my strength. I crawled out of the vehicle, still dazed and confused, but knowing that I needed to live because I had made Lucienne a promise.
I’d just left the ruin of my car when a figure glided up to me on silent footsteps. Truth be told, I didn’t even see the person approach. She just manifested there, out of thin air, and decided to point out the importance of her presence by stabbing my already injured hand with her heel.
“How unfortunate,” she said as she twisted her foot against my torn flesh. “It looks like you had a little accident.”
If she expected me to complain or express pain in any way, she had another think coming. I had experienced far more pain throughout my life than she could ever inflict. Nothing she did to me could hurt as much as the dread I felt over Lucienne’s condition and Malachai’s imminent death.
“You know, I really don’t like ungrateful people,” not-Lucienne said. “Here I am, keeping you from finding your unfortunate demise at the hands of those idiots, and you have to go and question my existence, and Lucienne’s faith in me. That’s really not a good idea.”
“Who are you?” I forced myself to ask. “You’re not her. Don’t insult her by wearing her face.”
Not-Lucienne laughed. “That’s fair enough. I suppose that is a low blow. As for who I am... A good explanation would be... Your worst nightmare.”
Not-Lucienne’s female figure melted into the form of a man. His piercing dark gaze was the last thing I managed to take in before pain and darkness erupted over me, swallowing me whole.
* * *
Lucienne
I was a complete and utter idiot. The day after my conversation w
ith Declan, here I was, sitting on my couch, nursing a mug of tea that was already getting cold and waiting for a call from either him or his brother. The reason? It had stupidly not occurred to me to ask for his number so that I could call myself. He had advised me to contact him but had left no actual means for me to do so. Now, I had no choice but to hope that he would fulfill his promise.
A part of me wanted to call Diane, to spill the whole story to my friend. Simply getting the whole mess off my chest would make me feel better. But on the other hand, what could I possibly say? Gee, Di, remember how you guys told me to stay indoors and take care of myself? Well, I didn’t exactly do that, and now, I’m stuck trying to save a suicidal werewolf who is my soulmate, and my only real help is a disembodied voice in my head. I intended to have sex with my man, but we barely managed to get to second base. He ran away in dread because he was afraid of killing me with his cock.
Christ, even to me it sounded crazy. Also, really off-putting, because what kind of curse prevented people from having sex? I might not have had a lot of experience with men, but I knew enough to realize an orgasm was always a good thing.
“This is fucked up,” I muttered. “Mental note. Next time you offer to save a guy’s life, at least get his fucking phone number before you terrify him by throwing yourself at him.”
“That would probably be best, yes,” the voice oh-so-helpfully provided, out of nowhere. “But never fear. You’ll be able to go back to your noble quest of saving the werewolf’s life in no time. No guarantees on the sex, though.”
I clenched the mug in my hand so tightly it was a miracle it didn’t break. “I think I’ve taken up a secondary quest while I’m waiting. Finding out who the hell you are and punching you in the face.”
The voice laughed. “I’d advise you against that, dearest. Not to be a spoilsport or anything, but you’d break your hand, and your soulmates would endlessly angst over it.”
