Goodly Creatures: A Pride and Prejudice Deviation

by Massey, Beth

  Elizabeth looked deeply into Darcy’s eyes as she spoke. “You are a good man, Mr Darcy. I was incredibly rude to you yesterday, and I apologize…but you must believe me… I will never marry. I said things that might have made you assume I could possibly marry someone other than you, but that is untrue.

  Elizabeth lowered her eyes and shuddered at some memory. “You deserve to know why I have made this decision. The only way I can help you to understand is to reveal some additional details of that day. I am unable to promise full disclosure. The memories of what he did are very painful. A wife has certain obligations that I am convinced I would never be able to fulfil, and I made a promise to God that if he protected my family from scandal, I would devote myself to my parents and my sisters.”

  Elizabeth spent a few seconds thinking of that life—both the past and the future. “Once my sisters are married, I will live with my mother and care for her. Thanks to you and Mrs Darcy, and the wise investments my uncle has made on my behalf, I will have money to allow my mother to live comfortably after my father dies.” Lizzy decided to lighten the tone of her revelation. “Of course, she might surprise me and marry Sir Walter Trent and move to Bath. I will then be forced to use my investments to keep the two of them in the latest fashions. They are very fond of each other, and clothes.”

  Lizzy raised her eyes to Mr Darcy, and noticed he had missed her humour, and his eyes were filled with trepidation. “Mr Darcy, I am not without blame for what happened to me. When I met you, your wife, your cousin, and then later your aunt and uncle, I became puffed with pride that such prestigious personages wanted to become acquainted with me. My sister Lydia is, as you know, ridiculously fond of officers, and my wanting to be in your family’s company was an equally juvenile fantasy. I was a silly little fifteen-year-old to revel in the knowledge that both Mrs Darcy and a viscount wanted to spend time with me.”

  Elizabeth took a sip of her tea. “After our meeting my aunt and I were in Mrs Darcy’s company often. I never saw you during any of the times I was in your house. Lord Wolfbridge was occasionally present, as were Lord and Lady Elderton once. The Viscount was not attentive enough to me to make my Aunt Gardiner suspicious. To me he was a handsome, important man; and when he flashed that beautiful smile, I would colour prettily for him. I had girlish romantic thoughts about him, but they were just thoughts I indulged in. Later, I would remember the questions he asked me when no one could overhear. He wanted to know if I had been a disobedient child, and whether my father had to punish me often. These questions made me blush. I now believe he enjoyed watching me react, but I knew not the significance of his pleasure.”

  She saw Darcy cringe at her last words but did not falter as she continued her story, “I did not tell you the other day, the entirety of how I came to be alone the day of my violation. One day when we were expected to visit by Mrs Darcy, my baby cousin was sick. Aunt Gardiner felt she should stay home to care for her, but she encouraged me to go to Darcy House without her.” Elizabeth hesitated fearing another denial. “My aunt was certain your wife would take care of me. She sent a note to inform Mrs Darcy she would not be able to attend. Anne wrote back and said she would come to fetch me in your carriage. When we arrived at your house, we went upstairs to what I thought was her sitting room. Always before, we had taken tea in that beautiful room I loved so much… the solarium.”

  Darcy had noticed a subtle shift in Elizabeth’s tone to a quiet sort of anger, but it was her words that caused him to close his eyes and moan. “Your aunt sent a note to say you would be alone?” It was worse than he imagined. Together, they had planned to trap her. It was not an accident… with Anne’s crime being a cover-up to protect Edmund.

  Elizabeth heard his question and saw his discomposure. She nodded in the affirmative. “Nothing else was out of the ordinary. I had brought gifts, and we chatted for a while. Anne wanted me to accompany her shopping the following week, so I could become acquainted with the best shops. She excused herself to retrieve a gown she wanted to show me. When she exited by the door to the hall, I was struck by the oddity, but did not dwell on it.”

  Elizabeth could hear Darcy’s laboured breathing but did not dare look at him, lest she be unable to continue. “The Viscount entered shortly after Anne left. I knew it was wrong to be alone with him. Instead of feeling indignant that he had put me in a compromising situation, I was worried that I would offend him if I asked him to leave. Despite his smile—or maybe because of his smile—I soon knew something was very wrong; but I was confused about what to do. As I told you before, the door was locked.” The next revelation required her to look at anything but him. She chose the mug of tea. “I just stood there frozen, looking at him in horror, and he kept showing me those beautiful teeth. He walked toward me, and he looked as though he was enjoying my discomfort. Next, he grabbed my arm and dragged me into the adjoining room. There was pain, words that mortified, and humiliation on a level that was unbearable.”

  Now Elizabeth looked directly at Darcy and tried to read his thoughts. She began speaking once more. “Mr Darcy, I am so ashamed… I did not fight nor scream. All I could think of was hiding my foolishness. He was so big… more than twice my size and panic set in. My only thought became preserving my gown. If it was ripped, everybody I encountered on the way home would know of my disgrace. I was about to be…” Elizabeth shuddered, and her eyes returned to her tea. She knew it was time to use the word he had used, “… raped; and all I could think was that my dress would get ruined, and I would not know how to explain to Aunt Gardiner what had happened.” Again she raised her eyes and tried to appear defiant. “You can now despise me… I helped him remove my clothes. I have nightmares that he is at one of those clubs for important men… laughing with his friends about the silly country girl who unfastened her buttons and removed her frock for him.”

  Darcy moaned again. He remembered his reaction to the chatter at White’s. He had assumed it was Elizabeth they were talking about and had condemned her. Unlike Richard, he had been positive that since she helped undress herself, he had proof she had fallen for Edmund’s seductive charm. He was thoroughly disgusted and distressed by his reaction that day, and that he had clung to those ‘misgivings’ for six years.

  He tried to speak several times, but each time the words stuck in his throat. When he was composed enough, he said, “Miss Elizabeth, I do not know what I should say to make amends for my behaviour. I am so ashamed that I thought you to blame all these years despite the fact that I think I have loved you from the moment I met you. It was inconvenient to confront my feelings for you, so I think I kept them at a distance by believing you mercenary. You told me that your sister and my sister thought we had been involved in an affair that resulted in Bethany. You were shocked that they thought us so wanton. What if I told you I often imagined us in that way, even before Anne died? My guilt has caused me to experience Macbeth’s ‘fitful fever’ many a night.”

  “Mr Darcy, unlike Macbeth, you did not act… you only thought. Yesterday, I told you I would kill your cousin, and that was only the latest instance of disposing of him by murderous imagination… I also thought of killing Lady Catherine. Words and thoughts are not actions. You and I are not like Lord Wolfbridge.”

  They sat in silence for several minutes. Finally, Darcy gathered enough courage to ask the question that had plagued him all night. “Miss Elizabeth, yesterday you said that under different circumstances, you could have loved me. Why do you say that, considering my cruelty toward you?”

  “You have been naive, witless, arrogant and insufferable, but you have never been cruel—except maybe the night of our waltz.” Elizabeth chuckled at the memory, but noticed her laughter had caused Mr Darcy to become very interested in his shoes. “Even then, you apologized the next morning. Sometimes you have even been very generous. I believe you paid Edmund’s three thousand pounds and added another three thousand. For many years I wondered why you followed me to Cheapside. As I knew you better in Hertforshire,
I decided you were being protective. You are nothing like Lord Wolfbridge.”

  She lifted his chin so she could see his eyes when she continued. “We both know there is an attraction between us. We have talked of it before. When we met that night at the theatre, something drew us toward each other, but you were a little too married and I was a little too young. The next thing I knew, my life had changed irrevocably because of your cousin. If we had met for the first time when you came to Hertfordshire—what then? Elizabeth gave him a shy smile. “That same spark would have ignited, and there would have been no obstacles. You and I would have danced at the assembly, and our affection would have grown. We are well suited to each other and enjoy the same things. Our life could have been what you told Lady Catherine about Kitty and John’s—affection, admiration, respect and common purpose.” Her smile deepened. “In addition, I could have made you laugh.”

  Darcy marvelled at her touch. He was amazed that she and her sister had remembered his words. As he had listened to her scenario of love blossoming in Hertfordshire, he was not as confident as she that he would have acted appropriately. The same pride that had prevented him from seeing the truth about her rape might have kept him from acknowledging her worth despite his assessment of her inferior connections. Still, he answered her smile with a glorious one of his own.

  They sat in silence finishing their tea. Elizabeth finally felt brave enough to pursue something she had wondered about for six years. “Mr Darcy, could I ask you a question? I am leaving in a few hours to go to Jane. She has been in company with Lord Wolfbridge and the Earl, and I fear for her. I know your cousin is dishonourable, but I do not know how to sketch your uncle’s character. He once said something to me that I did not comprehend, and I have felt over the years that I should have understood it, and if I did, I might have known not to trust your cousin. They both thought it very humorous and seemed to enjoy my naiveté. Please do not think me disrespectful, but I want to know what he meant.”

  “You do not need to worry that I will disapprove of you. Tell me what he said.”

  Elizabeth repeated the Earl’s remark about the two heads.

  Darcy’s face clouded with ire. She was unsure why he was angry, and became afraid she was the source of his fury. With fear in her eyes, Elizabeth said, “Please, Mr Darcy, I did not realize how disrespectful I was being to tell you that story. Please do not think poorly…” She got no further. He enveloped her in his arms. Too startled to respond, she thought she felt him kiss her hair, and next heard him murmur over and over and over, “I am so sorry… I am so sorry… I am so sorry…”

  Darcy continued to hold Elizabeth, saying nothing until he finally whispered in her ear. “Dearest Elizabeth, I do not think poorly of you, and there is nothing that could ever make me think poorly of you again. What my uncle said was highly improper… especially to one so young. If he were here before me, I would beat him until he wished he were dead, even if he is the head of my family. He deserves no honour from me.”

  Darcy finally released Elizabeth. “I apologize for my forwardness just now. I know you do not like to be touched. I beg your forgiveness.”

  Elizabeth could only stare at him and nod. She had felt apprehensive at first, but with every ‘I am so sorry,’ she began to feel warm and safe. When she thought he had kissed her hair, she felt a shiver and a little tug way down at the bottom of her belly—so many new sensations. He had called her ‘dearest Elizabeth,’ and it did not cause her to feel anger toward him, as it would have yesterday. Her mind was a jumble, and she was having trouble concentrating as he began speaking again.

  “You are not going to London by post. You are going in my carriage with Colonel Fitzwilliam and Georgiana. Darcy House has been alerted to expect the three of you, and Georgiana’s companion, Mrs Annesley is in residence there.”

  Darcy tried to gauge how Elizabeth was reacting to his plan. She could decide his arrangements were officious. Her face was still wide-eyed and registering disbelief with what was happening. He decided to forge ahead. “Richard and Georgiana will go with you on Wednesday to his parents’ house. If Miss Bennet comes to tea, the three of you will be there to protect her. I assume my aunt and Lady Wolfbridge will be there. If they are, it will be fortuitous. Neither Edmund nor my uncle would be that bold as to propose an assignation with your sister in their presence.” He paused to make certain she was at least listening to his instructions. “But, I suggest, in the interest of Miss Bennet’s safety, you persuade her to leave immediately. Make absolutely certain she spends no time alone with my uncle. She is too old to interest Edmund, but she is just what my uncle craves. I have written to both Mr Bingley and Sir Gareth to tell them of my fears. I also confessed my persuasion based on totally false beliefs to Bingley.”

  Mr Darcy grasped Elizabeth’s forearms and forced her to face him squarely. “Miss Elizabeth, are you willing to accept my plan to protect your sister? Please say something, so I know I am not offending you once again.”

  Elizabeth looked up at him and wished she could be back in his arms. The warmth and safety she had felt had been reassuring. Her whisper was almost inaudible. “You are not offending me.”

  48 GOOD WOMBS HAVE BORNE BAD SONS

  Elizabeth was strangely silent to her companions as the carriage set out. Neither Georgiana nor Colonel Fitzwilliam knew of their early morning conference in the grove. But both had heard from Darcy of her fury the day before. They assumed she was still revisiting the finer points of her rejection. In truth, her mind was both more and less pleasantly occupied. After savouring the memory of being in his arms for some time, her six-year denial of any possibility of romance reasserted itself. Once she embraced the obstacles on a path to marriage, the remainder of the distance to London flew by.

  Richard spent his time planning a strategy for confronting Edmund and his father. He hoped his mother had not left town in disgust. He needed her to become an ally. At Elderton, she was able to avoid the Earl. Her hours were filled with visiting tenants and playing a role in the village church and local charities—doing those things Darcy’s were revered for in Derbyshire. Lately, she had been devoting a significant amount of time helping Dr Wilder establish a hospital for the poor. In London, she was forced to be much more involved in his father’s public life; and though the Countess had become very adept at playing a role for the ton, she despised the disguise.

  Cassandra Darcy Fitzwilliam had been forced early in her marriage to choose which persona the world of her society would perceive. Should she be the naive wife who was oblivious to her husband’s indiscretions—or the wife, who had never had any illusions that she had made or even desired, a love match? She had chosen the latter. The acting skills she had honed as a child at Pemberley were put into play when she was required to pay homage to the fashionable notions of the importance of connections, titles and property over the fleeting pleasure of actual affection and passion.

  Richard reflected on the family history he had pieced together from youthful eavesdropping augmented by skilled intelligence gathering he had been taught in the army. His uncle, George Darcy, had learned of his sister’s anguish early in her marriage. The Earl had flaunted one of his mistresses in her face, and his uncle George had wanted to challenge his brother-in-law to a duel. His sister, Richard’s mother, forbade him—the publicity over such a display would only add intense gossip to the injury of her humiliation. Over the years, Lady Elderton had returned to Pemberley, often taking Richard with her, to find solace in the remembrance of things past while spending time with her brother, her sister-in-law and their children. Her visits continued after George Darcy and Lady Anne’s deaths, and currently one of her favourite activities was spending time with her nephew’s children. She had grown distant from her husband and her first-born, but had developed a strong bond—based in mutual empathy—with her daughter-in-law.

  Richard suppressed a sigh, as he remembered his mother’s greeting upon his return from Spain. She had embraced him with t
he whispered words that he was the one validation that her marriage had not been without its achievements—adding that it seemed so unfair that she had to share him with England’s need to defeat Napoleon. Her laughter had been tinged with hysteria as she finished by saying, “All in all, I would prefer to dote on your children.”

  Fitzwilliam Darcy’s sister contemplated her new relationship with her brother as she watched the countryside pass. Elizabeth had been the catalyst for the change, but yet she was not ready to embrace the life she worked diligently to achieve for others. Elizabeth’s rejection of Will had at its core the belief it was not possible for her to be a wife. What had Edmund done to her to make her so fearful?

  Georgiana had heard Bethany and Lewis’s requirements in a mother—Elizabeth fit them perfectly. Mary agreed with her that their siblings could find happiness together. Now, all she could think to do was be the very best friend to Elizabeth. Will had told her several things to make her stay at Darcy House more comfortable. That was a good place to start… that and making sure Elizabeth knew he had thought of the kindnesses.

  The outside of the house was even lovelier than the first time Elizabeth had visited. However, she preferred to study the new brick and think of her profit, rather than recollect the past. Once inside, she concentrated on the flowers atop the hexagonal table in the entryway. They were full of the promise of spring… multi-hued tulips and flowering cherry stems accented with new growth ivy.

  Elizabeth lingered in the hall. Her face belied the fear she felt as she looked up the stairs. Georgiana noticed her reticence to follow her and decided to implement the first act of kindness her brother had suggested. “I will not leave you alone. Will warned me you might be apprehensive. He thought perhaps you might like to sleep with me in my room. It is as it has been since I was six.” She said the next bit of information with a giggle. “It is very little girlish, with pink flowered wallcoverings and many dolls.”