A Well-Trained Lady (Seasons of Change Book 4)

by Jess Heileman

  His eyes shifted between mine, the air heavy between us. He lifted one of his hands and brought it to my neck, his thumb caressing my jaw. The uncertainty that had filled me only minutes before melted from the warmth of his body pressed against mine. I leaned in closer still, until we shared our very breath. “You never stopped loving me?” I whispered.

  His forehead came to mine. “Never.”

  My chest was now lifting and falling in quick bursts, my breath attempting to keep up with my racing heart. “I never stopped loving you either.” How strange the words felt to speak, as though the desire of my entire life had finally been spoken aloud.

  The strength of his hand on my waist intensified, the pressure pulling me forward and upward, where the softness of his lips engulfed mine. His kiss was precisely as I had remembered it, as I had recalled it time and time again throughout the years, yet somehow it was also superior, bursting with new emotion. Hurt. Longing. And a tender, abiding love. In that moment I realized how much I had needed him. Every fiber of my soul confirmed it as my hands lifted, wrapping around his neck. Despite our closeness, I managed to pull him closer still, no longer able to resist my yearning.

  Our kiss deepened and slowed before Augustus reluctantly pulled his lips just out of reach. “Will you marry me?”

  My heart swelled until it nearly burst within me, and I realized that this is what a proposal was supposed to feel like—an unwavering eagerness mixed with love and desire. All my reservations and the countless uncertainties seemed to dissolve with the realization that I could not live without Augustus. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t give up to be with him. “Yes. I will marry you.”

  He took a step back, quirking his head to the side. “Are you in earnest?”

  “Must I say it again?”

  A smile touched his stunned expression. “If you would.”

  I took a step toward him, closing the space between us. “I will marry you, Augustus Brundage.”

  He yelped in excitement and lifted me off the ground, spinning me as we both laughed.

  “I take it that went well,” Miss Whitmore called, cautiously making her way over the incline with Sarah still at her side.

  Augustus lowered me to the ground, a triumphant smile on his face. “To my great relief, it has. Bella has agreed to marry me.”

  Sarah’s eyes widened. “Truly?”

  “Yes,” I said, leaning in and wrapping my arms around Augustus’s waist. “Despite my better judgment, he has persuaded me to accept him.”

  Augustus laughed again and pulled me close to place a kiss atop my head. “Whatever it takes.”

  Sarah released Miss Whitmore’s arm and hurried the remainder of the way to where we stood, engulfing me in an embrace. “I cannot believe I shall truly have you for a sister.”

  “And I, you.” I squeezed her tightly as Miss Whitmore approached. She smiled with a warmth that astonished me. I was all too aware of how much practice it took to so fully conceal one’s emotions, yet she managed to appear sincerely happy for us.

  “Such wonderful news.” She leaned in to place a kiss upon my cheek as Sarah moved to hug her brother. “Augustus has loved you since I first knew him. I am glad to know he has found such happiness.”

  I ached for Miss Whitmore. “Thank you. I hope you shall also find happiness.”

  “Yes.” She took hold of my hands. “Perhaps this is just the thing to aid me in my own pursuit.”

  I thought to agree with her, to tell her how closure was often the thing most needed to guide us to another more promising path, but it felt too trivial to say. Instead I just smiled back at her and offered a silent hope that she would find someone who could love her as Augustus loved me, for no one was so deserving of it as she was.

  “Congratulations, Augustus.” Miss Whitmore moved in front of him. “It seems you finally have achieved your heart’s desire.”

  “And, in part, I have you to thank for it.” Augustus took hold of her hand, and they shared a knowing look. “Thank you.”

  Miss Whitmore offered him a slight smile, giving his hand a gentle squeeze and releasing it. “I believe we should go tell the others. They shall be most eager to hear the news.”

  The carriage swayed, and I glanced out the window at Augustus, who rode his horse with such dignity I could not draw my eyes from him.

  “I cannot believe you are to be married,” Ruth said, for the tenth time since we had returned Miss Whitmore to Safford Park and bid farewell to Mr. Treynor. “And I cannot believe I was not there when he asked you.”

  “It is not as though Candace and I were actually there to witness it,” Sarah said.

  Ruth huffed. “But you were there right after. Besides, you said you could see them from where you and Candace were waiting.”

  I looked down at my hands, mortified to think what Sarah and Miss Whitmore had likely seen if that were the truth of it. No wonder their return had come immediately after Augustus’s proposal.

  “It is not as though we watched them,” Sarah said. “At least not once … well, once we were certain things were going well.”

  I could feel the heat settling in my neck and face.

  “Have you thought about when the wedding will take place?” Mrs. Brundage asked, most generously changing the subject.

  She sat on the bench next to me now, and I met her gaze. “No. Augustus desires to speak to my father before we announce our engagement, and …” My voice trailed off as I thought of all the other insurmountable hardships that were to be faced—like how I still needed to inform Augustus that my mother was not even aware of my presence at Fairhaven. I sighed. “Well, there is much to consider.”

  Mrs. Brundage nodded her understanding. “I know your parents allowed you to Fairhaven”—her eyes flickered to Ruth—“but with all that has passed between our families, do you believe they will bestow their blessing on the match?”

  My stomach clenched. I needed to tell Mrs. Brundage the truth also. Just not yet. “I hope they will. In time.” I could not keep the doubt from my voice.

  Mrs. Brundage placed a hand on mine. “Well, we shall support you, however you need us to.”

  I smiled at her kindness. And for some reason, perhaps suddenly aware how much she had given up to marry Mr. Brundage, I felt a greater respect for her. Would I have to do the same to be with Augustus? Give up my family? My inheritance? Society? I had hardly even given a thought to the potential consequences of accepting Augustus, so set had I been in my plan to obtain Lord Thorton’s proposal. I forced my worries down, committing to deal with them when the need arose, and instead clung to the happiness I had felt before now. Augustus and I would be married. A small smile touched my lips. Yes. That was enough.

  The carriage shifted, rolling up the drive to Fairhaven.

  Mrs. Brundage looked out the window. “Who is here?”

  I leaned forward, glimpsing a lovely, but thankfully unfamiliar, traveling coach. “I’ve not seen the likes of it.”

  Mrs. Brundage’s face lit. “I wonder if it is my cousin, Lady Leroy. She did write to say that she would be traveling to this part of the country soon and wished to call upon me. And it is as grand a carriage as I would think her to possess.” Mrs. Brundage’s hands lifted to her disheveled hair. “But what a day to choose for an unannounced visit.”

  I leaned in close to adjust a few pins in her hair, the carriage rolling to a stop. “Thankfully you did not venture in as far as the rest of us. There.” I pulled back to ensure I’d done an adequate job. “You look beautiful.” And she did. Despite her wind-tossed hair and her sun-kissed cheeks, she looked lovely enough to welcome even the highest-bred relation.

  She squeezed my hand in gratitude.

  “And as for the three of us,” I said, looking between Ruth and Sarah, “we shall make straight for our rooms.”

  They nodded in agreement as the carriage door swung open.

  “Whose carriage is that?” Augustus asked, his voice brusque.

  “I
believe it is Lady Leroy’s.” Mrs. Brundage took hold of her son’s hand, allowing for his assistance as she made her way out.

  Augustus fixed his attention on me as he aided both Sarah and Ruth in their descent.

  “You needn’t look so worried.” I sent him a playful smile, accepting his hand. “It is not my family’s coach. Besides, I am not to be at Branbury for another week yet.”

  His gaze flickered back to the carriage, though the concern on his brow lessened.

  “Oh heavens, I really do wish Lady Leroy would have written beforehand.” Mrs. Brundage ran her hands down the skirts of her dress. “I suppose it shouldn’t matter, being that she is family, but I should have preferred a little time to prepare.” She looked to Ruth and Sarah. “Girls, follow Miss Godwin’s lead, and join me when you are readied.”

  I watched Mrs. Brundage make her way up the stairs then turned to Augustus. “We’d best be on our way as well. It will be no easy feat to make ourselves presentable in a suitable amount of time.”

  Augustus surveyed my golden strands hanging wildly about me. Gently he took hold of a curl, his fingers grazing my neck and arm as he let it move through his grasp. “I think you look beautiful exactly like this.”

  I lifted onto my toes to place a quick kiss upon his cheek. “And that is one of the reasons I love you.”

  Ruth and Sarah giggled at my side, and I quickly took hold of both of their hands, leading them forward. The front door sat ajar, and I pushed it open ever so slowly, ushering them in before me and waving them upstairs. I had just clicked the door shut behind me when a voice from the drawing room reached my ears.

  My blood curdled.

  Mother.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Was she not with you?” Mother’s voice echoed through the entry hall, and I tried to convince my feet forward, but they would not move.

  “Well, yes. But she desired to change first.” The desperation in Mrs. Brundage’s voice was apparent as both women stepped into the entry hall, their gazes settling on me.

  The fury on Mother’s face nearly consumed me to ashes as she took in my disheveled appearance and loosely hanging hair.

  “Mother.” My voice was weak, and my whole body instinctively went rigid, preparing myself for her wrath. It did not come.

  Instead she released a heavy breath and forced her lips into a severe smile. “Arabella, dear.” Her voice was overly sweet, and I wondered that she cared to make a good impression on Mrs. Brundage. “We have come to retrieve you.”

  Retrieve me? With whom—Papa? Before I could inquire after her meaning, Lord Thorton and his mother stepped out of the drawing room. The Dowager Countess’s curious expression transitioned to alarm when her eyes fell on me, but Lord Thorton appeared outright amused by my appearance.

  My legs swayed beneath me, and I reached out a hand to take hold of the banister, ensuring I would not collapse to the ground and intensify my state of mortification. “Lady Thorton. Lord Thorton, what an unexpected surprise.”

  “We apologize for that,” Lord Thorton said, “but when you did not arrive yesterday as expected, we arranged to come fetch you, to make certain nothing was wrong.” He hesitated, his gaze sliding to Mrs. Brundage. “Though we did not realize how far such a venture would take us at the time, having only intended to go as far as the Leavitt’s estate.”

  I stood there dumbly, unable to form one coherent thought.

  Certain this moment could not grow any more unbearable, the front door swung open and Augustus stepped through. The smile on his face faded when he caught sight of me. In an instant he was at my side, his hand on my waist. “Bella? What is it?”

  “Augustus.” The firmness in Mrs. Brundage’s voice forced his attention from me, and when his gaze settled on my mother’s hateful scowl, his body went rigid. “You recall Lady Godwin?” Mrs. Brundage said, her voice entreating him to collect himself.

  He blinked. “Yes, of course.” He lowered his arms to offer a tight bow.

  “How much you’ve grown,” Mother said, and I wondered if everyone could perceive the hint of abhorrence in her tone as well as I could. “May I present The Dowager Countess of Thorton, and her son, The Earl of Thorton.” She gestured with a rigid arm toward Augustus. “This is Mr. Brundage. An old friend of our family.”

  Lady Thorton and her son offered a partial nod, and Augustus gave another taut bow in return. “Pleasure. I hope you were not waiting on us long.”

  “Nearly an hour,” Lady Thorton said, evidently unamused, unlike her son.

  “Oh, Mother.” Lord Thorton offered one of his contagious grins. “You act as though keeping my company is an intolerable affair, indeed.” He looked at me. “I have not been home three days, and she has already grown weary of my company.”

  I forced my lips into some sort of smile, but Lady Thorton seemed to find little humor in his words. “It is not you I have grown weary of, dear, but this hunt we have endured to locate Miss Godwin.” As Lady Thorton released an agitated breath, I felt Augustus’s gaze upon me, but I could not meet it. “With guests set to arrive in the next few days, I hardly had time for such an undertaking.”

  My lips parted to offer some sort of an explanation, but I could not coax out a sound.

  “Well, we shall not delay our removal a moment longer than is necessary.” Mother started toward me with purpose. She stepped between Augustus and me, her hand coming to my back, pushing me toward the stairs. “Let us go see if your trunks are readied, Arabella.”

  With no other choice, I climbed the stairs at her side.

  Mother’s glare burned into my profile, and I knew she was waiting until we were out of earshot to attack. “You foolish girl,” she whispered when we started our way down the corridor. “You very well may have ruined any hope of a match between you and Lord Thorton. I don’t know how we shall ever right this wrong.”

  “Then let us not attempt it.” I did not have the courage to look at her. “I want to remain here at Fairhaven … with Augustus.”

  Mother’s sharp fingers clasped my arm, spinning me toward her. “You fancy yourself in love with Augustus, do you?”

  I met her stare, attempting not to cower under the force of it. “I do not fancy myself in love. I am in love, and he loves me, also.”

  Mother’s eyes moved between mine before her grip on my arm suddenly lessened. “Oh, Arabella.” She shook her head. “Which you is he in love with?”

  I swallowed, knowing too well her meaning.

  Mother’s gaze flitted to my unruly hair. “You have allowed Mr. Brundage to think you are still the girl he once knew so long ago, haven’t you?”

  Despite the quivering, I lifted my chin.

  “No. You are even more foolish than that. You have come to believe your own deceit.” Mother leaned in close, the sweet scent of rose water overpowering my senses. “Have you forgotten what it has taken to become a diamond of society? What aspects of your prior self you were forced to sacrifice?” Her head shifted to one side as she appraised me. “I wonder what Mr. Brundage would think of you after witnessing your talent for bringing a lady to tears with one well-placed comment. Or the tactics you have implemented to get men to fall madly in love with you, to offer you everything—including their hearts—before you decide you don’t want them?”

  I stilled, imagining Augustus’s expression when he discovered who I really was. The admiration he thought he had for me would turn to disappointment … to embitterment. It was as if he was standing next to me, so real it felt, and I watched as the love faded from his eyes. My head spun, and I felt I might be sick. He could not love me once he knew the truth. He had only continued loving me because he was unaware of the woman I’d become. The woman who had manipulated him with each interaction. With each smile. And with each touch. I nearly crumpled under the weight of the guilt.

  “Ah.” A knowing smirk grew on Mother’s lips. “Mr. Brundage has been a recipient of those perfected techniques, it appears. No wonder he has been led to
believe he feels more for you than he truly does.”

  A tear escaped down my cheek, and I swiped at it.

  Mother lowered her hand until it settled over mine. “Someone like Augustus Brundage deserves a woman who is genuine and sincere, who is capable of loving him without deception. One who is capable of obtaining his love without counterfeit.”

  A woman who would willingly give anything to see him happy.

  My thoughts went to Miss Whitmore and her goodness. Augustus did deserve a lady like her. One who was selfless, and kind, and authentic. One who did not lie to him because the truth was too difficult to speak. My heart broke when I finally embraced the truth I’d been ignoring all along. Augustus should not love someone like me. More tears rolled down my cheeks.

  Mother lifted both hands to my face, her thumbs dispersing the evidence of my wrongdoing. “And you, Arabella, deserve a man who can give you the life you are accustomed to. A life of privilege and respect. You are set to be a lady of distinction, not a lady forced from Society because of an ill-suited marriage.” She paused. “Do not throw away everything you have worked so hard to achieve for someone who is ignorant to who you truly are. Someone who would be heartbroken to discover the truth. For there is no undoing what you have done.”

  She was right. After too long allowing my heart to lead me amiss, I compelled my mind to resume its rightful place. A shaky breath escaped me. “I was a fool, Mother. But I will right this.”

  “Of course you will.” Mother’s posture relaxed a touch, but then she lifted a finger to point at me. “And do not think you have freed yourself from explaining how this whole debacle occurred. If we had more time and my nerves were not already spent, I’d pull it from you now. As it stands, I will first write to your father for his account. I’m certain he had something to do with this. Cursed man.”