By Fault

by Sasha Kay Riley

  “I love you,” Dustin murmured before giving Vince another tender kiss.

  Vince smiled as he returned the kiss. “I love you too.”

  “It’s going to be a really good year.”

  That annoying seed of uncertainty flared up for a split second. “I hope so.”

  Chapter Four

  AS IT grew closer to the start of competition, their stable row became filled with a dozen other horses. Some riders remembered Vince and Xander from other competitions and actually surprised Vince by making polite conversation with him from time to time. Dustin, on the other hand, seemed to have made a couple of friends among the grooms. After riding or a bathroom trip or dealing with official details, Vince frequently found Dustin talking to another groom about various equine-related topics. Sometimes it was about new grooming products; sometimes it was about what supplements were good for competitive horses. Once, Vince found Dustin adamantly refusing to let a groom for one of the Canadian riders teach him how to braid Xander’s mane. The girl eventually gave up, and the relieved look on Dustin’s face made Vince chuckle.

  On the eve of the first class that Vince and Xander were set to compete in, Vince felt the usual mild case of jitters. It was more excitement than nervousness at this point in his career, and even then it was a need to get in the ring and finally let Xander do his thing. They were ready for this, and Vince loved the feel of competing too. The atmosphere of the showgrounds was like nothing that could be experienced anywhere else, with so many horses and riders. At this show there were novice classes being run only yards from the big classes Vince was in, which added something even more interesting to the atmosphere, Vince thought. Then there was the actual competition itself, soaring around the course of jumps that were almost as tall as he was, with a half-ton partner who always seemed to somehow know what was at stake. And competing in front of a crowd of spectators added to the excitement. He loved to hear the applause after a good round, and Xander seemed to enjoy it too. His ears always perked up and he carried his head high when he otherwise would have a relaxed posture after a good workout.

  Dustin did his best to distract Vince from his thoughts that night, but even the best sex could only last so long, and despite Vince’s body being tired and ready to sleep, his mind was still a whirlwind. Cuddling wasn’t very relaxing either, and he was usually someone who enjoyed it.

  “You would think you’d know how to cope with this after so many shows,” Dustin commented as Vince took his arm from around him to lie on his back and stare at the ceiling.

  “You’d think,” Vince replied. He ran a hand over his face and changed the subject, trying to put his mind on something other than showing. “Have you talked to your sister lately?”

  Dustin sighed. “A little. She only talks to me online because Dad monitors who she texts and she doesn’t want him to find me somehow.”

  Reconnecting with his sister after more than three years had been an important step in Dustin’s life, at least in Vince’s opinion. Eve had been away at college when Dustin was kicked out of their parents’ house and had spent three years looking for him. Vince knew Dustin wanted to be close to her again, but it was hard when talking to her or seeing her reminded him of the past. Whatever Dustin had been through on the streets still gave him nightmares from time to time, usually triggered by old memories being brought up. The nightmares had been much more frequent when they had started dating, and when Dustin had first reconnected with Eve, the dreams had come back on an almost nightly basis for a while. They had been in touch for almost a year now, though, and things had mostly gotten back to normal for Dustin. Vince knew they didn’t talk often and assumed Eve was trying to make it easier for Dustin to deal with the process of reconnecting.

  “What about that letter from your mom?” Vince asked gently. Eve had given Dustin a letter that his mom had written him several months ago, and the last time Vince had seen it, it had been sitting unopened on Dustin’s nightstand on Christmas Eve.

  “I still haven’t opened it,” Dustin admitted. “I’m sure she’ll just try to justify letting my dad kick me out. She’s probably surprised I’m still alive and feels like she should try to act like she cares.”

  Vince rolled onto his side to get a better look at Dustin in the shadows of the trailer and noticed Dustin run a hand quickly over his eyes.

  “I don’t think that’s what she’s trying to say.” Vince reached out and grasped Dustin’s hand. “But it’s up to you. Whether you decide to read it now, months or years from now, or never, I’m here for you if you need me.”

  Dustin squeezed his hand. “Thank you.”

  Vince leaned down and gave him a quick kiss. “You’re welcome.”

  VINCE WOKE up to the alarm on his phone going off. He could tell by the sound that it was his alarm because Dustin’s was different, which meant, to his sleepy mind, that he had somehow fallen back asleep when Dustin had gotten up ten minutes ago and Dustin had let him sleep. It wasn’t uncommon, since Dustin was the one who was really in charge of Xander’s care, despite the fact that Vince did as much as he could. What was uncommon was to wake up to an alarm set to 8:01 a.m.

  Vince stared at his phone in confusion for a minute before finally getting up. Thanks to his horse-centered life, getting up after six in the morning was considered sleeping in, and it was an incredibly rare event.

  Dustin was just getting back to the trailer when Vince finally stepped outside.

  “I was coming back for coffee,” Dustin said with a smile. “I didn’t want to wake you up by making it earlier.”

  “Why’d you let me sleep?” Vince asked, still confused. “And since when do I have an alarm for this late in the morning?”

  Dustin stepped past him and into the trailer. “I set it. You had such a hard time falling asleep last night that I thought you could use a couple of extra hours. I woke up a few minutes before my alarm and turned it off before it went off. I knew you could sleep in a little. The class isn’t until two, right? There’s still plenty of time to do everything you need to do.”

  Vince followed Dustin and nodded. “You’re right. I did appreciate it and I still have time. Thank you.”

  “I do what I can,” Dustin replied with a smile.

  WHEN IT finally came time to compete, Vince knew for certain both he and Xander were ready. Xander seemed to sense it was a competition day and not just another day of practice; he was energetic in the warm-up ring, but he still listened and responded to Vince’s prompts. Maybe he had noticed the way Vince was dressed in his black riding coat, pristine white breeches, and clean knee-high black boots. On training days he wore darker breeches that were not in perfect shape and usually wore paddock boots that were only ankle-high. And he never wore his coat to train.

  Vince vaguely recognized the names of a few of the other twenty-one riders, and some he immediately recognized as top names in the sport. The rest were probably people like Vince, who could ride at a high level but didn’t have the wins to make a name for themselves.

  When their round came, Dustin sent them into the arena with a touch on Vince’s thigh, a pat on Xander’s rump, and a firm “You got this.”

  Xander’s energy spiked as they trotted into the arena. Vince gave him a soothing rub on the neck until they got the signal to start. Then he got Xander into a canter. As they lined up for the first fence, Xander picked up the pace a bit, eager to jump. But Vince knew that rushing the fences at this point wasn’t the way to go. Not taking down a rail was what mattered, and going too fast could cause costly mistakes. Better to save the speed for the jump-off round.

  “Easy,” he said as he put slight pressure on the reins.

  Xander’s pace slowed just in time to take the fence without dropping a rail. Vince focused on each jump as it came, guiding Xander into every turn and approach with precision. And Xander focused just as well, never so much as rubbing a rail on any fence, earning a fond pat on the neck as they left the arena. He also got a carrot from Dusti
n when he met them at the gate with a grin on his face.

  Only three other pairs went clear in the first round, which guaranteed that Vince and Xander would place at least fourth. They went last in the jump-off round, which meant he could see how the others rode the course, a shortened version of the first-round course.

  One pair took down two rails, another took down one rail, and the pair just before Vince managed to go clear again. Vince knew he and Xander needed to not only keep every rail up, but they had to go faster than the other pair. That was where Vince always thought he had a slight advantage. The other horses tended to be muscular warmbloods, but Xander was a thoroughbred. Even if he hadn’t been the fastest racehorse in the world, he was still bred specifically for speed, and he also happened to have the agility needed for jumping, too.

  So Vince asked for extra speed whenever possible, galloping long distances between jumps and dropping to a fast canter just strides before takeoff. They managed to beat the other pair’s time by three full seconds.

  Dustin was grinning even brighter when they met at the gate. “Win number one! And many more to come!”

  Vince laughed as he leaned forward to hug Xander’s neck. “It is a good way to start things off.”

  VINCE WAS feeling even more satisfied about how things were going by the time his dad called him on Sunday evening for an update. Vince took a shower and changed into a plain T-shirt and pajama pants, and when he left the small bathroom, he found Dustin lying on his stomach on the couch with his laptop in front of his face, one arm propping himself up and the other holding Vince’s phone out to him.

  “Your dad called. I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to answer so I didn’t.”

  Vince took the phone. “Thanks. You could have, though. My dad likes talking to you.”

  Dustin went back to propping himself up on two arms. “I’m not sure we have much to talk about. Not that I don’t like him or anything.”

  “You’d be just fine.” He gave Dustin a kiss on the cheek before pulling up his dad’s number on his phone and calling him back. While it rang he sat down on one of the steps that went up to the bed.

  “I was just checking in to see how the first week went,” Wes Anderson explained after he answered.

  Vince leaned back against the step behind him and saw Dustin close his laptop and hop off the couch for his turn in the shower. “It went pretty well. We won the first class on Thursday, then took second on Saturday, and won the Grand Prix this afternoon. We probably would have won on Saturday too, but I cut a turn a little too sharp in the jump-off and set us up for a bad angle to the next jump. We just clipped the rail enough to knock it down, but we still had the fastest four-fault time.”

  “That’s a pretty damn great start, though,” Wes replied. Vince was almost certain he heard something like pride in his dad’s voice.

  “It is,” Vince agreed. “How have your races been going?”

  “Same old, same old. Win some, lose some. We have two really promising fillies, but tomorrow is never certain. You know, I’m only two hours from where you are. Want me to come watch a few of your classes?”

  Vince plucked at a loose string on the carpeted step he was sitting on. “You haven’t been to any of my shows since Mom died, and I know it’s because this was something she encouraged me to do. If it’s still too hard for you, I don’t want you to come. I’m so used to just having Dustin with me that it doesn’t bother me. Seriously, Dad, you don’t need to make yourself come watch.”

  Wes sighed. “I’m going to think a lot about it, I can promise you that. I don’t know when I’ll be able to watch, but I will at some point. So, did you show on Friday?”

  Vince respected the change in topic and closed down the thoughts of how strange it would be to see his dad there in the stands without his mom. That was too much for the moment.

  “I gave Xander the day off,” Vince answered. “Dustin and I wandered around the showgrounds. We watched some of the other classes and looked at all the stuff for sale in the shopping booths that we can’t afford.”

  “Didn’t you just win at least a few thousand dollars?”

  Vince looked over at the three ribbons—one red and two blue—on the rope that circled almost the entire ceiling of the living compartment. “Yeah, but it takes weeks for things to get processed.”

  “That makes sense,” Wes commented. “Now you can make a mental list of the presents you want to bring home. It is almost Hunter’s birthday.”

  “I know.” Vince rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh. “I’ll probably have to borrow money off Dustin just to send him a present.”

  “He’s turning two,” Wes pointed out with obvious amusement. “I don’t think he truly understands what a birthday is. I’m sure he’d be even more excited to get a random gift later.”

  “But how would that make me look to Jane and her family?”

  Wes snorted. “Jane’s your accountant. I’m pretty sure she understands.”

  Vince sighed again. “True.”

  “Well, I’m going to let you go for now. Tell Dustin hello for me. I love you.”

  Vince smiled. “I love you too, Dad.”

  Chapter Five

  THE SECOND week went as well as the first. Vince was already starting to get pretty familiar with the small number of people who always asked to interview him after a big class. The equestrian news sites and the show organizers usually wanted to know how he had felt about the design of the course or what his strategy had been for how to win in the jump-off. Dustin always found the articles—and sometimes videos—and put them on his personal blog and Vince’s professional pages online, having appointed himself Vince’s “media assistant” after Vince decided he hated updating the pages himself. Even when he didn’t win, he was still mentioned and had to be in the group picture of the top three finishers. He was finally learning how to hold a smile for a picture without looking like he was grimacing, and they were only two weeks in. If things kept up, he’d become a master of being photogenic and doing interviews by the time they left for home.

  He also noticed more people watching him work with Xander during their training session on Monday. He had a feeling that soon he’d be followed by the paparazzi of the show world, the people with their high-tech cameras who took pictures for the equestrian websites and always had an eye out for the big-name riders when they weren’t taking shots of everyone in a major class. “Behind the scenes” was the tagline they’d be shown under.

  Vince was glad the media couldn’t access the secure stable area where Xander stayed. Xander could be safe there, and Vince had a place to escape to when he wanted to.

  On Monday night—Hunter’s birthday—he plopped down on the couch and used his laptop to send a video call to Jane. When she answered he was surprised to see that she seemed to be sitting on the couch in his dad’s living room, and that all the stable hands at Anderson Stables were crowding in behind her.

  Vince couldn’t help grinning. “I guess we really are missing a party!” he said with a laugh as soon as everyone had called out their hellos.

  Anna, the barn manager while he was away, leaned in closer to explain. “Well, Hunter is a part of your family, and therefore a part of this whole family.”

  “Any excuse for a party, really,” Joe laughed.

  “Where’s Dustin?” Cade asked. At twenty-four, he was the youngest of the stable hands. Everyone else was in their thirties or forties and had been a part of the family for much of Vince’s life. He was also the newest, having joined a year and a half before as the replacement for the homophobic Chris, who had inflicted pain on both humans and horses before a chaotic night had claimed his life. Sometimes Vince still had nightmares about staring down the barrel of a gun.

  Dustin, his hair wet and still pulling a hoodie on over his T-shirt, sat down next to Vince and slid close enough that their legs touched. He leaned into the camera’s range and waved. “Hey guys!”

  Vince moved the laptop between them, re
sting it half on his own thigh and half on Dustin’s. They still had to lean close to each other to both be in the frame at that distance.

  “So where’s Hunter?” Vince asked.

  “Playing with his new toys on the floor,” Jane answered. “It may only be his birthday, but the ‘terrible twos’ have already started.”

  As if on cue, Hunter shrieked loudly enough to make them all wince, and Scott appeared with him in his arms. He sat down next to Jane while Hunter continued to fight for his freedom.

  “Look, Hunter,” Scott said encouragingly, pointing to the computer screen. “Look, it’s Daddy!”

  “Hunter!” Vince called.

  Hunter stopped squirming and appeared utterly amazed to see Vince on the screen. Both Vince and Dustin waved, and Hunter smiled and waved back, though he leaned back a bit against Scott.

  The fact that Hunter felt shy interacting with Vince, albeit through a computer, stabbed Vince in the heart. When he was home, he made a point of spending time with Hunter at least once a week, but he still felt like a poor excuse for a father.

  “Are you going to say hi to Daddy?” Jane asked, looking down at Hunter.

  Hunter smiled as leaned a little more into Scott. “Hi, Daddee.”

  Vince made himself smile. “Hey, buddy. Happy birthday! I’m gonna bring you a super special present when I come home.”

  He caught Jane’s eye and she gave him what was clearly a resigned nod. She had mixed feelings about ponies but had told Vince she wouldn’t stop him from teaching Hunter how to ride. It was time.

  “And I’m going to bring you something awesome too,” Dustin declared. “You remember who I am, right?”

  Of course Hunter remembered him, Dustin was with Vince almost every time Vince saw Hunter.

  Hunter grinned and pointed at Dustin. “Unkil Dussin!”

  Dustin laughed, and even Vince had to smile.