By Candlelight

by Janelle Taylor

  “That’s it, then? I’m out?” she demanded.

  Jake could think of nothing helpful to say. “I’m sorry.”

  As a placating answer, it had the opposite effect. Her reaction was galvanic. She stormed to his desk, standing quivering above it. Jake lifted his brows in expectation. “I should have stuck with Phillip,” she blurted out furiously. “At least he was honest.”

  “Phillip…,” he repeated with distaste.

  So that was the answer. Phillip and Sandra had shared a relationship first. He wasn’t really surprised, and he didn’t speculate on what that might mean; he truly didn’t care. But after she stormed away, he had been left feeling depressed and deflated. It would have been nice if one of them had seen fit to tell him about their prior relationship. It was a wonder, really, that Phillip hadn’t blurted it out during one of his drunken binges, but then, maybe he hadn’t cared that much to begin with, either.

  Which hardly flattered Sandra.

  Jake had turned from that dissatisfactory scene to a meeting with Gary later in the afternoon. But during talk about the repairs to the strip mall vandalism, Jake had actually drifted off. He hadn’t caught every word, and to his embarrassment, had been forced to ask Gary to repeat everything twice. Gary had stared at him as if he had lost his mind completely—and maybe he had.

  Even a conversation with Detective Marsh couldn’t keep his attention, though the detective’s theory that the perpetrator was someone who had been within Talbot’s employ had set no better with Jake than his original one where he had blamed errant teenagers. Detective Marsh had asked for a list of employees who had been fired over the last six months, and Jake had managed to pull one together before he left the office.

  But now he was on his way to Kate’s. It was strange how focused he was on this forthcoming evening with her. She was making dinner, and it was the first time she had invited him to her house. It seemed like a major step, but looking back on things, he had to concede that their relationship had truly lasted less than one week so far.

  Okay, that wasn’t completely true. Long ago and far away they had been lovers; they had even pretended they were spouses. But it was such ancient history that even in this new, not entirely welcome, giddy state, Jake recognized that counting those days in the past was beyond sanity. He was a completely different person now; so was Kate. Attraction and sexual chemistry, however, appeared to remain intact throughout a person’s lifetime. He believed he had read something to that effect once, which explained why so many people who had once been lovers, then married other for years and years, tended to return to their first loves after they were divorced or their first spouse died.

  Which didn’t mean he shouldn’t be careful with Kate. Once burned, twice shy, and all that. So now, as he searched the street signs for the road that led to her house, Jake asked himself what, if anything, he expected of this evening. Kate’s daughter April would be there, and that didn’t leave much room for privacy. Searching his feelings, he realized he didn’t care all that much. Yes, he would love to pull Katie into bed and make love to her—that hadn’t diminished! But he also recognized that at some deeper level he was anxious to get to know April better, to become familiar to her, to infiltrate their home, their life, everything…

  And that sounded very much like he had made some kind of commitment, though not a word had been spoken as such between them.

  It’s too soon, he rationalized as he slid the Bronco to a stop in front of the small cottage at the end of the curved drive. Rhododendron bushes flanked the front walk, their leaves thick and glossy this time of year while their blossoms were long gone, their last hurrah the previous spring.

  He rang the bell and was rewarded with galloping footsteps inside, though April was the picture of decorum when she pulled open the door.

  “Hi!” she greeted him, her eyes a sparkle of dusty blue, her teeth a shining curve of white. For a second he felt a strange déjà vu. She reminded him of someone.

  “Thank you so much for the job,” she said with heartfelt gratitude.

  “You earned it on your own,” he assured her, handing her the bouquet of yellow roses.

  “For me?” The gesture tickled her, and if possible, her grin widened. “Come in, come in,” she urged, leading him down the short hallway to the kitchen. Kate stood near the sink, a bottle of wine in one hand, corkscrew in the other.

  Sight of her hit Jake like a hammer. No wonder he thought April reminded him of someone. She was Kate’s likeness, Kate’s daughter.

  Kate’s eyes fell to the red roses. “Oh, Jake,” she said, as if he had brought her the stars from the heavens.

  “I’ll find some vases,” April said, already digging through a nearby sideboard.

  “You look great,” Jake murmured to Kate, the words springing right from his heart. There was a lushness to her that couldn’t be denied. She wore jeans and a soft taupe cotton sweater that buttoned to a collar at her throat. Her breasts were softly defined beneath the fabric, swaying ever so gently in an unconscious, seductive manner that drew Jake so completely he had to fight not to ogle at them like some lecher.

  “You look pretty good yourself,” she said lightly, clearly a bit embarrassed as she shot a look toward her daughter.

  April took the two bouquets of roses and, after several attempts to arrange them separately, snorted her disgust before gathering all the roses in one vase. She set her creation in the center of the table and flanked it by two tall white candles.

  “Vanilla,” she said. “It just all smells so good together.”

  Musk and vanilla. He could remember scents way too well, Jake decided, eyeing Kate, who also seemed mesmerized by the artful display April was working on so feverishly. Did she recall that long-ago wedding as sharply as he did? When her eyes met his, the message in them said she did.

  They ate chicken piccata and Caesar salad and drank wine. April pulled out a mud pie she had purchased from a gourmet ice cream store, and though Jake wasn’t that much of a dessert eater, he managed a small piece, amused at the way April, who was as slim and muscular as a filly, tucked into her wedge of ice cream.

  “So, what are the commercials like?” April asked.

  “They’re mostly industrial, made for other companies that do business with us. But we have one we want to air on television.”

  “Cool.” April was enthralled.

  “You’ll appear to be an employee of Talbot Industries. We refurbished a downtown Portland hotel. You walk us through the lobby and talk about what’s been restored and what’s been added. The hotel staff’s in the background, and they’ll interject about how fantastic staying at the West Bank Hotel is. That kind of thing.”

  “Your company did the West Bank refurbishing?” Kate asked. To Jake’s nod, she said enthusiastically, “It’s fabulous inside now.”

  “We restored all the wood paneling in the lobby area, completely redid the kitchen, and we’re still working on the guest suites. The top floor is the Presidential Suite on the river side; across the hall are two other minisuites which face the city. There are fireplaces and gas lighting and the works. You should see it,” he told Kate, whose lovely face grew more and more animated as she listened.

  “I would love to!”

  “Do you mind if I tag along? Or, would you rather be alone,” murmured April, fighting a smile.

  “She’s way too precocious,” Kate complained, but Jake could see the affection in her golden eyes when she regarded her daughter.

  “Let’s go tomorrow night,” Jake suggested. “We can have dinner and then coffee in the lobby bar.”

  “Great idea!” April was excited.

  Kate just smiled. Neither of them seemed to remember that she had a date on Friday.

  With dinner over, April grilled Jake on a few more aspects of the coming rehearsals; then she disappeared to her room. Moments later music throbbed from the end of the hallway, muted by her closed door.

  “I don’t know what’s come ove
r me,” Kate said. “I can’t concentrate when I’m with you.”

  Jake sent her a lazy smile. “You, too? I’m glad to hear it. I’d hate to think I was the only one who was acting like this.”

  “Like what?” Kate asked.

  She was seated on the edge of the couch. Jake, who had found the bottle of brandy Kate admitted to buying just for him, swirled the amber fluid as he stood beside her. Because they were past the preliminaries, he sank next to her on the cushions, crowding her to one end of the seat.

  “You’re in my space,” she whispered, her lips curving expectantly.

  “Am I?”

  “Uh huh.”

  Jake set down his snifter on the sofa table behind the couch, cupped her face in one hand and kissed her lightly on the lips.

  “Now, you’re really in my space.”

  “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

  Kate’s lashes drifted closed, and the corners of her mouth quirked sensually. “Really.”

  “You just want to hear how crazy I am about you.”

  “Mmmhmm. Tell me more.”

  “You’re beautiful. And—I don’t want to talk anymore.”

  His mouth slanted down on hers, firm and slightly impatient. His ears were tuned to the muffled music down the hall. Kate met his kiss eagerly, but she, too, seemed to be listening.

  “We’re crazy,” she whispered. “What if April comes out?”

  “We’re just kissing.”

  “Oh, sure.”

  “Well, we are. We’d just like to be doing something more. Tomorrow night,” he assured her, his voice deepening as his mind moved ahead to what that meant. “After we drop April off.”

  Kate sighed. “I can’t go tomorrow. I promised Jillian we’d go out.”

  Jake sucked air between his teeth. “I forgot.”

  “But maybe, if you and April go, I could meet you later?”

  “Okay,” he agreed, then added, “What is it that Jillian wants you to do?”

  Kate hesitated. She hadn’t quite explained about the “date” idea. “I feel stupid saying this, but I’m set up to go out with a friend of Jillian’s boyfriend. I’ve never even met him.”

  “You’re going out with a man?” Jake couldn’t help himself from asking. The spurt of jealousy that shot through him surprised him.

  Kate saw his expression harden and hastened to explain. “I don’t want to go. It’s one night. She’s been after me for months since Ben’s death, and believe it or not, it was only after I’d seen you again and didn’t know what to do about it that I accepted. Of course, that was before last weekend. It scared me to see you again. All those feelings. I wanted to kill them, so they couldn’t hurt me again; so I said yes to a date with Michael.”

  “You don’t have to explain.”

  “Oh, right. I’d sure want you to, given the reverse situation.”

  “It’s okay,” he said quickly, annoyed that his reaction was so obvious. He wanted to strangle someone—this Michael person would be just fine. It was unfair and infantile, but he had to face his emotions for what they were.

  “It is okay,” Kate assured him, her soft lips moving forward to slide across his mouth. “I haven’t exactly been hiding my feelings from you. A date with a stranger isn’t going to change them if eighteen years and a marriage couldn’t!”

  “God, Katie.” He buried his face in the fragrance of her neck, and from some soul-deep emptiness he uttered the words that could only cement his fate, “I love you.”

  Her intake of breath was a tremulous gasp. “I love you more,” she whispered fiercely in his ear.

  The door to April’s room flew open, shooting out a cacophony of blasting music. Kate and Jake broke apart like guilty teenagers, and when April appeared in the living room, she stopped short.

  “I was just—getting something,” she apologized.

  “No problem.” Kate was bright and cheerful.

  Jake rubbed his nose to hide a smile. In all the women he had dated, he had rarely been involved with one who possessed a child. Maybe it was some failing on his part, or maybe he was generally attracted to unfettered females, but whatever the case, April was a new experience for him, and one he found, to his surprise, that he enjoyed immensely.

  “Go on,” April singsonged as she sashayed back to her room.

  Jake and Kate stared at each other, their eyes filled with mirth. The moment spun out, and then the words spoken between them came back hauntingly, a memory of days long past and unfulfilled promises.

  “I know it’s crazy,” Jake murmured, “but the gap since we were first in love seems really small right now. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part, because you know something? I want it all back!”

  Kate nodded, searching his intense gaze eagerly. There were no hidden agendas. He wanted what she wanted! It was so perfect she couldn’t help but distrust it, yet on the other hand, he was so easy to trust.

  “I know you’ve only been a widow for six months, but would you think about marriage again?” he asked.

  “Marriage! To—you?” she questioned, holding her breath.

  “That was the idea, yes,” admitted Jake, his mouth twisting into a smile.

  Kate felt almost faint. She had dreamed of this so often she could scarcely believe she had heard right. Marriage to Jake Talbot, the only man she had ever truly loved.

  “We haven’t even been together a week,” she voiced, airing the words she knew needed to be said.

  “Does it really matter?”

  She gazed at him helplessly. “I’m not sure.”

  “I just want to think that it’s out there someday, you know?” Jake told her, picking through his thoughts. “I’m thirty-six. I’m tired of living alone, and I want to be with you. I want to marry you.”

  “I want to marry you, too,” she whispered hoarsely, her throat hot and aching.

  He swept her close, burying his face in her hair. Kate kissed his neck and beard-roughened cheeks. She was in a dream, playing a part that left her drifting limitlessly between reality and fantasy. “I love you!” she choked out.

  A chuckle rumbled deep in his chest, and he dutifully answered, “I love you more.”

  And after that no more plans were made while they kissed and cuddled and generally chafed about April being their chaperone, whether she knew of her role or not.

  Kate couldn’t help dragging her feet as she finished getting ready for her evening with Jillian, Jeff and Michael. She pulled on a pair of black sandals and inspected her bruising. Not too bad. She wore loose, navy pants and a drapey matching blouse, and her expression, when she threw a glance at herself in the mirror, was mutinous. Spying the glowering lines between her eyes she wiggled her brows, then smiled at herself. Okay, so she wasn’t excited about going on this date with Jillian et al. She could survive.

  And let’s face it, it kind of thrilled her that it needled Jake so much. Though he tried to act like it didn’t matter, that it was one small hurdle before they got serious-serious, she knew her date with Michael bothered him. No amount of negating the evening on her part helped, either. In fact, the less she made of it, the more he tightened up.

  Marriage! He had actually brought up the “m” word. Every thought, every uttered word and sweet touch, had echoed her own needs, wants and desires. It was uncanny. They were too in sync for her to believe.

  When are you going to tell him about April?

  This time when Kate gazed into her own eyes she saw the anxiety hovering in their gold depths. Marriage? Impossible without the truth! Yet, the truth would make marriage impossible in the first place. Some secret, selfish part of her wondered what would happen if she told him after the ceremony. To find out that April, whom he already cared about by his own admission, was his own flesh and blood? Shouldn’t that be a blessing, not a terrible revelation to tear them asunder?

  Kate’s breaths came short and fast. Her chest tightened until it hurt. It was a betrayal already. It would be a breach o
f honor, a lie, a complete travesty of trust if she tricked him in that way. She couldn’t marry Jake without telling him the truth. She couldn’t.

  Yet, how could she tell him? And then how could she tell April?

  Realizing she was quaking with fear, Kate stepped back from the mirror. Her hair was a mess from raking her fingers through it. Brushing it with more vigor than finesse, the blond-brown strands flew around her face with static electricity. Drawing several soul-cleansing breaths Kate stepped away from the bathroom just as the doorbell rang.

  A part of her realized she had hung on to this date because she was afraid of the future. Jake would leave her when the truth came out. She knew it. So, she was clinging to her life without him as if that would somehow save her from her own love for him.

  Oh, god, she silently prayed as she put a false smile on her face and twisted the handle for the front door. What am I going to do?

  Jake paced the confines of his living room with the restlessness of a caged panther. Kate had one silly date with this fellow, and that was it. One date. Dinner and a couple drinks, and then she was his. What could possibly be wrong with that?

  Growling in frustration, he poured himself a brandy, then stared moodily into the amber fluid, less interested in consuming it than wanting to have something to do with his hands. Drink wasn’t the answer.

  He knew he was nuts. He understood that Kate’s evening had been planned before last weekend. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow their relationship would never see that walk down the aisle.

  Setting down his drink, Jake snatched up his keys and headed for the door. Forget about it, he told himself. He had a date with April ahead of him, and when Kate could politely get away, she was going to join them at the West Bank.

  What could possibly go wrong?

  The restaurant Jillian chose was an Italian chain from California which offered rich food, loud tables, painted archways, peach-colored tile and a window view of the street. If Kate had been with Jake, she might have thought it was heaven on earth. As it was, she couldn’t wait to escape and walk the seven blocks to the West Bank.