Swagger (Radioactive Tales of Love)

by Nikki Prince

  “I better get more than one order, seeing how you will eat them all up.”

  “Hey, to each his own side of wantons! I like them too much to share.” I grin and walk towards the door, picking up the folder as we head out. “Tomorrow, I meet with the director at the home and sign the paperwork to have mom stay there. It’s called Sunnyside Care Center and its right downtown.”

  “Sounds like a perfect place for your mom.”

  I laugh. “Yeah…with her sunny disposition.” Leaving that meeting room, feels like another chapter in my story is closed and—for the better.

  “You ready for the trouble that will ensue from it?”

  I wear a grin on my face but I feel very serious. “As ready as I’m ever going to be.”

  Chapter 31

  Roxie

  Moving Day two weeks later.

  I didn’t realize how much stuff my mom and I garnered in all the years we lived in the house. It seems mind boggling. So, I just focus on packing what the home said I should for my mother. She has a nice room with a view and wouldn’t have to worry about a roommate…at least for now.

  Moving day came really soon. Which I’m very grateful for, it means that we were on the right track and all this would soon be history.

  Cruz is helping me pack things up in my mother’s room.

  I glance over at him.

  He’s busy boxing up pictures my mom stored under her bed. He’s an immense help.

  I’m so grateful for him. I don’t think I could have done all this packing on my own. I hadn’t wanted to use a moving company. I wanted to take care of all the personal items myself. I figure I’ll use the attic in the house to store everything I want to keep and toss everything that I didn’t. It seems strange not hearing my mom yelling at me and berating my every step.

  I finish with her suitcase, making sure to pack her bible on top and turn back to Cruz.

  It was time to go pick up my mother from the hospital and take her to the home. So, we drove over. The doctors had sedated her for the trip to the home, because mom became belligerent and hard to control—as we all expected. The medication they gave her made her calm enough to travel.

  After I finish all the paperwork, Cruz brought the wheelchair they provided for my mother. We amble out of the hospital to my car.

  I become struck by how frail my mother looks sitting in the chair.

  She’s lost a lot of weight and her hair looks silver gray while blowing in the slight breeze. Absently, I think of how Kathy would dye my mom’s hair because my mother said she wanted to appear younger. Her normally vibrant eyes are dull as she stares ahead. She’s marked by fate. Least, that’s what it seems like to me. All these years of hate was wearing down on her now.

  I open the car door for Cruz.

  He gently picks up my mother and puts her in the car.

  She still hasn’t made so much as a peep. My mother’s calm is only because of the meds. I really want to get her to the home, so she can get settled, but also because I want to talk to her to get some straight answers.

  Soon, we’re heading to the home. The trip is silent. I think we were both caught up in our own thoughts. I still worry about Kathy, though I haven’t let Cruz in on the fact. Something just didn’t sit right with me about her exit from the meeting we had. I’d been advised by my lawyer to go about my daily routine and not worry. The check had been cashed by Kathy, so the lawyer said everything was going as planned.

  It looks like such a beautiful day. The sun is shining and though there were clouds, they were the fluffy kind cotton candy dreams are made of. There’s nothing that could mar such a beautiful day. I have my man and we were already making plans to move in together in my home. Just as the business had been left to me from dad, he’d also left the house to me.

  Glancing back at my mother, she still sat in her seat with her head down and didn’t speak. This is the mother I wasn’t used to. Ironically, I sort of miss the screaming. How sad is that? I became so used to being yelled at—I almost miss it?

  Before I realize it, we’re already at Sunnyside and Cruz is wheeling my mother into the building. I take over and he went to get her suitcases as I stop at the desk to speak with the nurse. The place seems a little busy with activity, as it was lunchtime. There were nurses and staff helping the other patrons and I was told to go ahead to the room reserved for my mother.

  I push mom down the long hallway, through a maze of older people. Some, just sit quietly and others seem agitated. One older woman and I couldn’t tell how old, sat outside a room in a chair and just shook. I’m struck with the thought of how I was leaving my mother to this fate. A fate of being sat in a wheelchair, outside of your room to just shake.

  I hate what my mother had become but at this point, I told myself…I wouldn’t be like her. I would make sure she’s taken care of. It’s my duty as her daughter. I love her and yet—I still hate her. Hate is such a strong word and it’s a word that makes me cringe. It’s the emotion I battled every day when dealing with her. What an ugly word and an even uglier feeling but it is what it is. I’ve overcome all this to be a better person. I would triumph with each passing day over the harm that my mom caused.

  I push her into the room and settle her in her chair by the window. I then open the curtain to let the sun in. “Look how beautiful it is outside, mom,” I say to her…not expecting to hear her talk back.

  “What—have you done with my Macy?”

  I turn slowly to mom.

  Her eyes though still a little dull have regained some of their color. She’s holding her hands together and rubbing them slowly. “I said…what have you done with my Macy?”

  It’s time to be honest with her. I’m not going to back down like I always have, when she repeats the question. I lean against the windowsill and cross my arms. “Macy is dead mom. She died because of the choices you made.”

  “No—what are you talking about?”

  “Kathy…mom. You remember her…right? Well, she sexually molested Macy for years and you did nothing about it. So, Macy did the only thing she thought she could do and that was to kill herself.”

  “No! You’re lying. Kathy would never hurt my Macy. She loved her as much as I did. She took care of you girls and you’re sitting there telling these lies on her?” My mom starts rocking back and forth in the chair looking as crazy as she always sounded to me.

  “I have proof mom. You know that diary Macy always wrote in? She talked about what happened to her and why she had to leave this earth. Now, no matter what you say there’s nothing you can ever tell me that will refute the words written on those pages. Kathy is a thing of the past in my life and in yours. I’m your guardian not her. Deal with it or not. I tried to be what you wanted, tried to live how you wanted…but no more. I’m going to be happy with or without you.” I look up from my mother to see Cruz standing in the doorway and I smile.

  My mother turns slowly to follow my gaze. “What is he doing here?” She points at Cruz.

  I’ve been waiting for her to do that. “Oh yeah, remember Cruz mom? He’s the one who makes me happy.”

  It seems strange about how it’s even possible, but my mother’s face turns even redder.

  Well, she’s just going to have to deal. Cruz is here to stay. I get her suitcases from Cruz, then went to the small dresser and start putting her clothing inside while I still talk to her. This needs to get done before I leave anyway. It doesn’t take me long.

  Cruz takes the suitcases and puts them inside the closet.

  I thank god for him every moment of the day. My rock.

  It takes my mother forever to even speak. When she finally does, I wasn’t surprised at what she says, “I told you not to mess with that boy.” Her dark eyes look beady and her face is still mottled red.

  “Doesn’t matter what you told me. I’m a grown woman now and I don’t have to listen to you or Kathy any longer. So, the way this works mom, is you live out your life here. I’ll pay the bills, then come and
visit from time to time. But you will not dictate my life anymore. My father loved me, you turned him away for another woman and you blamed me. In your blame…you were totally blind to what was happening to your other daughter. What’s happening to you now…is karma, and I’m sad to say, it brings me no joy. What goes around comes around…mother.”

  My tirade seems to work as my mother turns to stare at me while she sits there quietly.

  It seems amazing how much lighter I was feeling. I’ve been holding that all back for years. Lucidity is a wonderful byproduct. “It’s lunch time, they’ll be serving you lunch. Have a good rest of your day.”

  My mother makes an odd strangling sound, as Cruz and I leave her there, parked by her bed.

  Chapter 32

  Cruz

  Something is wrong. I’ve been calling Roxie all day and she hasn’t picked up. I also called the motel and was told by Candy that she wasn’t working today. Over the last few months, we’ve become accustomed to calling or texting one another when we weren’t together. So, for her to be gone all day without calling me or answering my texts—seems odd to me.

  My inner demons have already started to bother me. I keep wondering if she feels tired of me and this is her way of showing it. I shake off the feeling as memories of the last few weeks flow over me. Roxie and I have been getting along so well. In fact, I moved into her place with her and have been helping her pack things up. The last time I talked to her was this morning when I kissed her goodbye, so I could get some research done for an article I’m writing.

  I glance down at my cell one more time, hoping there’s a missed text or call from her, but I feel like there won’t be. My phone wasn’t on silent, so anything from her would have played the ringtones I set up for her calls. “Come on baby, where are you?”

  I have a key to her house, so it wasn’t a matter of having to wait to get in. She’s already blessed me with her trust. We were going to be okay. Did we have issues? Yes, we have them and maybe more than some others, but we were willing to work on them together, so it works. Maybe something is wrong with her cell. There have been times when her cell wasn’t charged. I take a deep breath, trying to settle the ill feeling that’s in the pit of my stomach. I was an hour away from home, having to get the research I needed. Unable to calm myself enough to believe that she’s okay, I head back home as fast as the speed limit will allow me to.

  I make it to the house and her car is outside. This makes me happy, yet at the same time, I don’t understand. Why didn’t she answer her phone? Once again, the fear that she didn’t want anything to do with me set in. I sit in the car for a few minutes, parked behind hers and put my forehead against the steering wheel, trying to garner the strength to go in and talk to her. I can’t lose my baby. I won’t lose my baby. “Roxie, Roxie, Roxie…” I mutter as I get out of the car and head to the front door. I stop short, because the front door is wide open.

  Roxie never leaves her door open. She always closes and locks it. The neighborhood isn’t a bad one, but everyone knows in this day and age, you can’t leave anything unlocked.

  I push the door open all the way, and I’m face to face with utter chaos. The drapes in the living room are shredded, things are turned over, and drawers upset with their contents spilled all over the floor. The thing that catches my eye—is the mirror on the wall above the fireplace. Written on it in red lipstick were the words, ‘Lying Bitch Whore.’ A splash of purple catches my eye and on the floor is Roxie’s cellphone. She never goes anywhere without her phone and I mean anywhere. Hell, she even takes it into the bathroom, most times.

  Someone had come in and taken Roxie. The house is totally ransacked. My mind is spinning—where did I hear those words before? Then it hit me. Kathy said that when we confronted and fired her. Kathy would be the only one with a reason to do this to Roxie. I did the only thing I could think of. I get my cell out and I call 911.

  “911 what’s your emergency?”

  “I’m over at my girlfriend’s house, Roxanne Waters. Her house has been ransacked and she’s nowhere to be found.”

  “Sir, what’s your name?”

  “Cruz, I mean Christopher Montoya. Don’t you need info on her? Someone has to get here, check this place out, and find her! I haven’t been able to get a hold of her all day. She always has her cellphone with her and I found it here on the floor.”

  “Okay, Sir. I need the address and we will have someone come and speak to you.”

  “Fine. 3069 Eucalyptus. It’s the little yellow house right on the corner.”

  “Have you touched anything Sir?”

  “No, well except for the door when I entered.”

  “If you’re inside the house I’m going to ask that you leave and stand outside. Someone could still be inside. Are you doing that, Sir?”

  “I’m already moving to the door and going outside.” I walk to my car and stand at the back of it as I talk to the dispatcher. “Yes, I’m outside now. Please, can you hurry up and send someone?”

  “I have a unit on the way Sir. Please wait from them to come and don’t go inside again.”

  “I won’t,” I insist.

  “Give me your call back number please and stay on the line. A unit should be there any minute.”

  Damn right, they should be here any minute! The town is so little. I give her my number and wait patiently. Then I spot the black and white coming down the street. The siren isn’t going as I’m sure they don’t want to scare anyone, if they’re still in the house. God, I don’t usually like to call the police. But this is my Roxie. She needs help and I do what I have to, to get it to her.

  “Okay Sir, I hear the officer has arrived. You can hang up now.”

  “Thank you.” I disconnect the call and just watch the cop car.

  The police vehicle pulls to a stop behind my car in the driveway and as the officer gets out and walks towards me, my stomach tenses. This isn’t the person I want to see. Officer Don Benson. Fuck!

  “Well now, what kinda trouble have ya gotten ya’self into Christopher Montoya?”

  “Nothing at all. My girlfriend is missing and I need help finding her…that’s all.”

  This is one of the worst people they could have sent. It’s then, when I see another officer in the passenger side and he gets out as well, heading toward us. Maybe this situation won’t be as bad as it seems.

  I don’t know this officer, but he actually has an aura of kindness that Officer Benson could never have. I turn to him and I tell him what’s wrong. Fuck Benson! “Sir, my girlfriend is missing. I’ve been trying to contact her all day and if you will both go into the house, you’ll see what I mean.”

  “Come on Benson, let’s head into the house and see what’s up.” The other officer waves his hand at the house. “I’m Officer Clayton I’m going to ask you some questions while my partner goes and checks the house out.”

  I nod and watch as Benson stares at me and then heads into the house, leaving me with Officer Clayton. Time is wasting—someone needs to find Roxie and fast. I hope Benson isn’t the bumbling idiot I’ve always pegged him as for all these years, because if he is—that would bode ill for Roxie.

  Chapter 33

  Roxie

  I wake up feeling really groggy and in pain. At first, I think it’s because I’d just been sleeping wrong, and then the memory hit me. Kathy. I try to sit up but I’m strapped down. I thought back to what happened this morning, after Cruz left to get stuff done for his article. I’m terrified and I hold my eyes closed tightly, wondering if Cruz is looking for me now.

  Kathy is mad, completely and utterly crazy. I’d been home cleaning and packing up some things I wanted to keep and setting things aside that I wanted to donate to the Salvation Army in town. I’d been so caught up in what I was doing, I didn’t hear Kathy approach until she came right up on me. The sound of the gun cocking close to my ear was my only warning of how I wasn’t alone.

  I hurt. She’d beaten me, even though I basically didn’t pu
t up a fight. Hell, she has a gun. If it’d been just her…fist to fist, I would’ve kicked her ass. She knew it too, or she wouldn’t have brought a gun to a fist fight. Things were supposed to get better after all the steps I’ve taken to get my life back together. I’ve dealt with so much darkness already and I honestly thought, I’d finally have a chance at the light.

  “I know you’re awake bitch.”

  I ignore Kathy. I continue to act as if I’m out. I need to survive until I’m found. On one hand, I have a fear that I’ll never be found and on the other hand, I held on to hope—I held on to Cruz.

  “I told you to wake up, bitch. I’m going after your fucking boyfriend next.”

  Cruz! I open my eyes and find myself face to face with Kathy as she leans over me. “You’ve stepped over the line Kathy. Let me go.”

  Kathy cackles.

  I fight back a wince. I couldn’t let her see how scared I am. She seems ready to kill me and I feel sure it wouldn’t take much to set her crazy ass off. Her eyes look wild and I swear she has the face of a demon.

  “I’m not letting you go and I’m going to enjoy killing you. Before I do though, I’m going to show you what Macy liked done to her.”

  My stomach clenches and I force back the bile that surges into my throat. I want to throw up. I swallow hard, so I wouldn’t.

  “Ah yeah girl, you’re going to like what I do to you.”

  I need to keep her talking. I left my cell on the floor, trusting that Cruz would find it. So, I bury my pride and egg Kathy on. I’m going to let her think I want her. Lord help me, I wanted to be an actress before—but not like this. “Tell me what you’re going to do to me?” I ask softly, hoping my voice sounds seductive.

  Kathy lets out a cackle again.

  I bite the inside of my cheek, so that my expression stays the same.

  “Oh, you are just ripe with wanting to know what I will do to you. I may be older but I still got it where it counts…eh girl. You’re momma hasn’t been any good to me in a while and you made sure, we couldn’t be together. Now it’s time to show you what you’ve been missing.”