God's Wisdom for Navigating Life

by Timothy Keller

  Jeremiah sets a better model: He ate God’s word and delighted in it (Jeremiah 15:16; cf. Colossians 3:12–20). If we do that, then distorting words will not take hold of our inward parts and create a false worldview.

  How do common phrases like “You have to always be true to yourself” create false worldviews that seem completely self-evident to people?

  Prayer: Lord Jesus, the words I read and hear daily try to redefine all reality by leaving you out of the center of it. Move me to be immersed in your Word so I can be like the man you touched twice so that he could see the world clearly (Mark 8:25). Amen.

  June 25

  Those who flatter their neighbors are spreading nets for their feet. (29:5)

  WORDS INFLATE. Our words should be kind and affirming, but here we are warned about flattery. It is a word that means to compliment someone not to simply praise something good for its own sake or to build the person up in love, but in order to gain some advantage for yourself (Jude 1:16). With that as a motive, the claims of flattery are often not tied to reality. They exaggerate in an effort to appeal to the ego and gain benefits from the grateful recipient.

  But how is flattery a net for the one who listens? Instead of helping the listener get an accurate picture of their strengths and weaknesses, the flatterer deliberately gives them an inflated, unrealistic self-view. The essence of foolishness and its destructiveness is to not see yourself as you really are. Like all well-laid traps, flattery hides itself, but when the trap springs and the net comes up, the victim is helpless. Christians must never use flattery, not in business to get customers or investors, and not even in evangelism (1 Thessalonians 2:4–6).

  Is there any part of your life—family life, business, or other—in which you engage in flattery to get things for yourself?

  Prayer: Lord, I admit that there are times when I engage in flattery as ways to manage difficult people or to maintain other important relationships. I am sobered at how you hate this kind of untruthful speech (Psalm 12:2–3). I repent for it and ask that you would give me the courage to change. Amen.

  June 26

  A scoundrel plots evil, and on their lips it is like a scorching fire. (16:27)

  WORDS SPREAD. Proverbs explores the many aspects of the power of words. Long before the Internet, words had a remarkable power to “go viral.” Technology now enables false rumors and fake news to spread instantly. But in another sense it has always been so. People in fire-prone areas of the country know how fast an untended little campfire can devour a whole forest. False reports (or even true but unkindly meant words) have always had the power to spread like a scorching fire to ruin reputations and alienate people from one another.

  James may have had this proverb in mind when he wrote: “Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire” (James 3:5–6a). James adds, however, that false and unkind words also spread within and “the tongue . . . sets the whole course of one’s life on fire” (James 3:6).145 By contrast, the word of Jesus’ kingdom, the gospel, “is like a yeast that . . . worked all through the dough” (Matthew 13:33). The gospel also has the power to go viral, to work its way through a life, a community, or a whole society to bring reconciliation with God and man.

  Where have you last seen the damage that false and unkind words can do through their spread?

  Prayer: Lord Jesus, protect me from the spreading power of harmful words. Prevent me from producing them and hurting people. Also, protect me from their power to poison my relationships and hurt my good name. “Vindicate me . . . and plead my case” (Psalm 43:1). Be my advocate. Amen.

  June 27

  An honest witness tells the truth, but a false witness tells lies. . . . An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. (12:17, 24:26)

  TRUTHFUL WORDS. What are the marks of good words? The first is truth. 12:17 speaks of testimony in a courtroom that corresponds to reality, without shading or hiding facts. Jesus insisted that his disciples speak every word as truthfully as if they were under oath and had just sworn on a stack of Bibles (Matthew 5:33–37).

  A kiss on the lips (24:26) was and is an act of special intimacy. This verse means that lying is fundamentally a lack of love. Joy Davidman wrote: “There are the lies of gossip . . . which make haters out of us; the lies of advertising and salesmanship, which make money out of us; the lies of politicians, who make power out of us.”146

  Every lie uses rather than loves a person. By keeping the truth from them, you put them in a dependent posture and exploit them. There is no such thing as a harmless lie. And God’s Spirit will never work through dishonest words, however you lie to yourself about your motives.

  When was the last time you lied to someone? What are the kinds of situations in which you have a tendency to shade the truth?

  Prayer: Father, Jesus told the truth even though it got him tortured and killed. And he did it for me. How, then, can I shrink from telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth—even when it costs me? Lord, increase my faith in you so I can be truthful regardless of the consequences. Amen.

  June 28

  An honest witness does not deceive, but a false witness pours out lies. . . . A truthful witness saves lives, but a false witness is deceitful. . . . Do not testify against your neighbor without cause—would you use your lips to mislead? (14:5,25, 24:28)

  NOT DECEIVING. Truthfulness is contrasted with deceit. Statements should not be evaluated only by what they say but also by what they intend to do. If words are technically factual but stated in such a way as to mislead, then they are still dishonest—perhaps even more powerfully so. Effective lies are those that include the greatest possible amount of truth and yet still deceive. It’s not enough simply to give factually accurate statements so you can say to yourself, “Well, I didn’t really lie.” You must never use facts in a misleading way to advantage yourself.

  Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Don’t exaggerate and spin. Don’t leave out crucial parts of the truth that might make you look bad. “Speak truthfully to your neighbor” (Ephesians 4:25), looking to the one whose very reason for coming was to testify to the truth (John 18:37).

  When you indulge in political speech, when you do advertising or marketing, when you report to your investors, when you give customers information about your products, when you report to superiors, do you ever use selective, factually accurate but misrepresenting speech?

  Prayer: Father, I confess that I often twist the truth in order to look good, usually avoiding outright lies. I do it before I even know what I’m doing. Help me stop this. Help me remember that you will judge me for every idle word. Make me a person of truth. Amen.

  June 29

  The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity. (11:3)

  INTEGRITY. Integrity means being one and whole, not marked by duplicity. People of integrity are not one way in one setting and completely different in another. Are you a churchgoer on Sunday but ruthless in business during the week? Do you say conservative-sounding things to traditional people but liberal-sounding things to younger adults? Do you present yourself as one kind of person online but live as a very different kind of person in real life? We have the technology to brand ourselves, creating the image we want to project. We pad résumés, add facts to bios, falsify academic research, do whatever it takes to sell ourselves.

  But the wise and upright are driven by integrity, consistency of character. They don’t have multiple selves, a real self, and a host of pseudoselves. They have one real self and it is not hidden. It is on display in every setting, in every role. With them, what you see is what you get.

  Have you seen this behavior in yourself in any area—that you speak and act one way in one setting or with one crowd but very differently in another? Where do you lack integrity?

  Prayer: Lord, I confess that I sometimes “play to the crowd.�
� But you always see me; you are always there. You have the only set of eyes and opinion I should care about. Let me always live consciously before your face. That will heal my lack of integrity. Amen.

  June 30

  A false witness will not go unpunished, and whoever pours out lies will not go free. (19:5)

  POURING OUT LIES. The image of literally lying with every breath, reminds us of how pervasive and diverse lying can be.147 There are all kinds of lies, and it is possible to lie constantly through the day. There are polite lies. You say, “I would love to go, but I already have an appointment.” There are euphemisms. You say, “I think your writing is too sophisticated for our readers,” when you mean, “You are a bad writer.” There are exaggerations. Spouses constantly say, “You always . . .” or “You never . . .”—statements that are not only factually untrue but designed to bludgeon.

  There is word inflation. Christians are especially bad about this. “It’s such a blessing. The Lord was there. It was just incredible.” Sometimes the Lord is indeed there, sometimes the event really is a blessing, but when events always are, that creates cynicism. Then there are so-called benevolent lies, like when you continually lie to cover up for friends when you actually ought to be confronting them about how they’re living. There are routine business lies. You say, “We are for quality,” when privately you make unreasonable demands on your employees. We pour out lies.

  Watch yourself for a day. How often you shade, twist, hide, or obscure the truth?

  Prayer: Lord, the sins of my tongue are so many! Because of pride I talk too much or harshly, because of fear, too little or dishonestly. Forgive me, and cure me of the false motives that make my speech so unlike yours. Amen.

  July 1

  It is a trap to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider one’s vows. (20:25)

  KEEPING PROMISES. A major part of truth telling is keeping one’s vows or promises (Psalm 15:4; Matthew 5:33–37). Lewis Smedes wrote: “My wife has lived with at least five different men since we were married—and each of the five has been me. The connecting link with my old self has always been the memory of the name I took on back there: ‘I am he who will be there with you.’”

  How can we keep our promises? Look at Jesus. To fulfill God’s promise to save us (Hebrews 8:6), he came and died. He truly was the one who said, “I am he who will be there with you.” A Christian’s whole life, then, is based on a promise kept at great cost. “When I make a promise I bear witness that . . . I am not fated. I am not determined. When I make a promise to anyone I rise above all the conditioning that limits me. . . . No home computer ever promised to be my loyal help. Only a person can make a promise, and when he does, he is most free.”148

  When was the last time you failed to keep a commitment you made? Are there any promises you ought to make but are afraid to make?

  Prayer: Lord, I receive life (2 Timothy 1:1), the Spirit (Galatians 3:14), and union with you, all through your “great and precious promises” (2 Peter 1:4). Since I live only by promise, make me a person of my word, not afraid to make and not too weak to keep commitments. Amen.

  July 2

  Honest scales and balances belong to the LORD; all the weights in the bag are of his making. . . . “Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.” (16:11, 30:5)

  THE GOD OF TRUTH. Concern for truthfulness is not merely practical but right. Business schools’ ethics classes advise honesty as the most profitable business policy. But God desires honesty in business even when, as here, dishonesty in scales and balances could make you a lot of money and never be found out. The reason? God is truth by nature—all his words are flawless and true. The Lord is the real in contrast to the fictitious; he is the absolute in contrast to the relative; he is the substantial in contrast to the ephemeral.

  We are to “put on the new self, created to be like God” (Ephesians 4:24) and “therefore . . . speak truthfully to [our] neighbor” (Ephesians 4:25). We must be truthful if we are to be like God, for he cannot lie (Titus 1:2; Hebrews 6:18), he always keeps his promises (2 Corinthians 1:20). He always means exactly what he says and says exactly what he means—he cannot be inconsistent with himself. Above all, Jesus is Truth itself (John 14:6). He reveals God, the ultimate truth, perfectly (John 1:18; Hebrews 1:3).

  What are the problems with the ethical reasoning that we should be honest because it is the most practical policy?

  Prayer: Father, as I read in your Word about what a God of truth you are, I want to be far more careful about speaking before I know what is true. How often I’ve passed on falsehood inadvertently just because I was too unconcerned about truthfulness to check things out. Let me walk in truth so I don’t dishonor you. Amen.

  July 3

  Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. (12:25)

  KIND WORDS. The second mark of good speech is kindness. It is not enough for words to be truthful. The word translated as kind means “personal and kind, pleasant and sweet, timely and thoughtful.”149 Because our words must be life-giving (15:4), we must never use truth as a weapon. You must ask yourself why you are telling the truth. Is it to win an argument? To punish or pay back by embarrassing the other person? To undermine something true that the person is saying but you don’t want to hear? To defend your pride? To complain? To make yourself look good to others?

  St. Paul says every word must pass this test—“that it may benefit those who listen . . . according to their needs” (Ephesians 4:29). When you tell the truth, you should always have a “ministry motive.” You should only confront to help another person achieve illumination and understanding or to remove distance and barriers between you and the other person. Speak the truth, but in love (Ephesians 4:15). If you do so, it can lift up even someone sinking in anxiety and fear.

  Think of the last time you had to challenge someone. Did you have a ministry motive? Were your words kind?

  Prayer: Father, “in lovingkindness Jesus came, my soul in mercy to reclaim.”150 If I live only by the kindness of Jesus, how can I be unkind? With your Spirit, make your love so real it keeps me from being irritable, impatient, or indifferent to anyone else at all. Amen.

  July 4

  A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (15:1)

  GENTLE WORDS. When Proverbs talks of kind words, it speaks of our speech’s motives. When it speaks of gentle words, it is speaking of speech’s form—its tone and demeanor. Being gentle does not mean agreeing (August 6), but it does mean being respectful and friendly. We are called to speak gently even (or especially) in an angry confrontation, rather than answering with harsh, hard words in kind. Speaking gently in such moments is difficult, not least because of the fear of appearing weak. So Rehoboam, afraid of looking unkingly, gave a harsh answer that actually destroyed his kingdom (1 Kings 12:1–16).

  If you do not curse back when cursed (Romans 12:14), it disarms and de-escalates the argument. If you respond gently, there’s a chance the angry listener may say, “I don’t want to hear this, but it’s very obvious this person cares.” Ironically, gentle speech is ultimately more persuasive than “so take that!” arguments. Harsh words play well with people who already agree with you, but they won’t persuade or help the truth to spread. Follow the one who, when he was reviled, did not revile in return (1 Peter 2:23).

  When was the last time you saw someone de-escalate an angry situation with gentle words?

  Prayer: Lord Jesus, you are meek and gentle (Matthew 21:5) and yet threw out the money changers from the temple (Matthew 21:12). Lord, conform me to your image, make me like yourself—assertive but not self-assertive. Amen.

  July 5

  The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value. . . . The lips of the righteous know what finds favor, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse. . . . The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the to
ngue of the wise brings healing. (10:20,32, 12:18)

  APT WORDS. 12:18 warns that our words must be choice (well crafted), not reckless (thoughtless and impulsive). 10:32 directs that we know what finds favor, what appeals and persuades, in our words. Of course, because our words are to be truthful, they can sting, and we might be moved to confront a friend out of love (27:6). So to find pleasing words cannot mean that you never say anything to make people unhappy. Rather, it means we are to fit our words to the listener’s circumstances, capacity, sensibility, temperament, and culture so they are as persuasive, moving, and attractive as possible.

  “A truth that makes no impression as a generalization may be indelibly fixed in the mind when it is matched to its occasion and shaped to its task.”151 Don’t just say, “Well, I told the truth.” If you truly care about the truth, you will want people to believe it. Say it, then, in a way that makes it as hearable as possible. Words take craftsmanship. You need truthful words. You need kind and gentle words. And you need apt, appropriate, beautiful words.

  Are you careful with your words or are you impulsive, speaking without a lot of thought?

  Prayer: Father, my words are often half-baked, poorly thought out. I am no prophet, but could you purify my words so they are far more attractive and persuasive to listeners than they are now? I ask that not for my honor but for yours. Amen.

  July 6

  The prudent keep their knowledge to themselves, but a fool’s heart blurts out folly. . . . A person finds joy in giving an apt reply—and how good is a timely word! . . . Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a ruling rightly given. (12:23, 15:23, 25:11)