The Heart of Andros

by Jade Oliver

  Twenty-One

  June 11th, 1785

  Adair

  “You know. Thad will always come back to me.” Vanessa shrills as she crosses her arms, her slitted eyes feel like daggers shooting into me. She has been spilling her lies and innuendo for the past few minutes. She started right after Thad left us to go back and get the dresses, and I’m fucking tired of it. Toby had started to interrupt when she first began but Jasper stopped him, which we’ll discuss later, and while both men have remained silent they’ve stood tall and imposing beside me during her little tirade.

  However, Toby stands more stiffly, unmoving, and his displeasure with her apparent by the murderous look on his face and his agitation evident. Jasper’s expression stays unreadable, calm but unapproachable. The guys had warned Toby and me that she might heckle us, but when we hadn’t seen her the entire time in town, I thought we’d been saved from her taunts.

  Damn, I shouldn’t have forgotten the dresses, but we’d been laughing and joking and I forgot to grab them off the counter.

  “Was he ever yours though?” I ask with an overly contrived politeness. My cheeks burn from hiding my anger in a too big mocking smile. It’s difficult to maintain my composure but the little I know about this woman compels me to be cautious in my approach, especially after Jasper halted Toby from defending me. Nonetheless, I refuse to be a complete doormat.

  My remark still manages to piss her off; her face turns ruddy. She raises her hand as if to slap me but pauses before dropping her hand back to her side when Toby and Jasper step forward. Their reaction instigates Vanessa’s men to take a step forward as well.

  Instead of physically harming me she attempts to do it with words. She takes a step towards me, erasing most of the personal space between us as she sneers, “Did he tell you about us? About our time together? Oh my, silly girl, he has and will always be mine. No matter the obstacles.”

  That cunt dragon isn’t going to intimidate me. I just need to figure out how to play the game with her without damaging repercussions for us all.

  I take a step towards her with our faces barely inches apart. “You mean when—”

  “Adair, enough. Vanessa, what do you want?” Thad’s angry voice interjects. Swinging around, a look at his face reveals his furied scowl and pinched lips. His shoulders are thrust back and squared like he’s ready to fight something. A picture of him with his hands pressing his temples as he does when aggravated flashes through my mind. I have to fight the smile pulling at my lips when I see him flexing his hands in what I suspect is him fighting the urge to do just that.

  Yes, Thad will fix this and stop the bitch from insulting me.

  “Why, my darling, I needed to speak with you but instead found” — she stops to look us up and down with her mouth puckered and expression screaming of her self-satisfied superiority— “them.” She walks over and reaches for him, but before she can touch him, he grabs her roughly by the elbow and yanks her around the corner.

  What the hell was that?

  I’m unsure if I should hit him for leaving with her or thank him for taking that vile creature away. “Jasper, do know what just happened?” Why he would walk off with her. Jasper shakes his head and remains silent with his eyes downturned refusing to look at me. Before I can question him further Thad returns.

  Thad briefly glances at Jasper, their eyes communicate silently, then commands, “Get in. We’re leaving. Now!”

  My mouth opens in protest, but Toby shushes me while he shakes his head no. On the ride back none of us speak. Once we reach the farm, Thad tells us to be dressed within the hour to have dinner with Vanessa at her home before he storms off and slams the door to his room. I’m left standing there shocked, especially when Jasper also leaves without a word or glance at Toby or myself.

  Thankfully, Toby and I manage to dress ourselves appropriately, albeit we had limited choices. We did so without talking, neither of us knowing what to say and needing time to think and prepare. Now we are on our way to Vanessa’s house and the buggy remains silent once again. Thad and Jasper refuse to look at us and are in fact ignoring each other as well. Toby keeps his arms wrapped around me, but I’m still tight with tension.

  Ugh! I dread this. Tonight is going to suck. I can't believe we're going to Ursula's house. What. The. Fuck. Is he thinking?

  But it's not in my nature to remain quiet when I have questions, so I loudly ask, “Thaddeus, are you ever going to talk? Explain this?” My hand rises making a circle through the air, even though he can’t see it, while my face reddens in frustration and my voice brims with uncertainty, hurt, and anger. But Thad ignores my desperation for answers. His eyes lack their usual sparkle and have remain blunted without expression since we ran into Vanessa in town. He has chosen to drive the buggy, a task Jasper usually completes, and ignore his surroundings. Withdrawn, he’s distracted and captivated by the thoughts inside his head. Based on our failed attempts, no one will be able to drag him out until he’s ready.

  I thought we had made progress in our relationship, at least in our friendship, but I guess not. This man — This man is so, just, so. Errrr.

  With an exhale, Jasper quietly murmurs to me, “Adair, tonight will be filled with subtle threats, innuendo, and half truths. Please don’t believe anything Vanessa, or anyone else, says. Thad and I” —an unexpected loud growl escapes him— “will probably act a certain way. Try and trust that we know what’s best.”

  “Jasper, your words might have more meaning if I didn’t already feel left out. This afternoon was frustrating and both of you leaving us to get ready without direction hurts. I'm thankful I ended up choosing the right dress to wear, no thanks to you or Thad.” My whole body shakes with pent-up emotions. I am confused at the change in both Thad and Jasper’s behaviors. I can’t help but question everything I’ve experienced or felt up to this point. I have been fooled before and I plan to protect my heart from that ever happening again. The thought of Brax makes my heart squeeze in pain and regret.

  How can I ever think this will work between us when I don’t understand this man or what he wants? Maybe Toby is wrong and I’m not worth it to Thad. Maybe whatever spell Vanessa has over him is more powerful than what I thought we have been building. I don’t really know them at all, do I? Am I stupid for thinking, despite all this, I do?

  Jasper’s hand extends toward me, but he pulls it back before making contact. “Adair, my apologies. I avoid town because even though the people treat me semi decent when Vanessa or her men aren’t around, when they are around it’s almost like being back in the colonies. Tonight I’ll be subject to ridicule. I left because after the encounter this afternoon because I needed some time to think and mentally prepare myself for tonight. I sincerely apologize for any hurt that I caused to you or Toby.”

  It’s my turn to apologize. I gently place my hand upon his knee since it’s the only place I can reach on his body because of the way we are positioned in the buggy. I hope that Jasper can hear the honesty in my voice when I tell him, “I’m the one who’s sorry. I had no idea, and I should have asked before assuming. Please, forgive me?”

  His jade eyes flash with passing desire and his lips tilt up in a wicked smile that doesn’t form completely. His reaction to my apology leaves as quickly as it came but I am intrigued by his reaction. His seriousness returning, he whispers, “There’s nothing to forgive. You have no idea what is happening, and even though we’ve tried to explain some, it’s not the same as experiencing it. I only hope we survive dinner. This is not going to be an easy evening.”

  “Me too, Jasper, me too.” My voice lacks my normal confidence, but tonight is going to be hell. Here come the real Hunger Games.

  The arrival to Vanessa’s house increases the already high tension between us all. From the little I know about Vanessa she will have no trouble picking up on our discord and attempt to manipulate it, and us, to her advantage. Sweat beads along Jasper’s forehead and he looks like a caged animal eager to escape. Whi
le Thad’s face lacks any emotion, and his body is impassive making his resignation evident, his eyes hold a spark of anger and sadness.

  Vanessa opens the door before we even get out of the buggy. She stands imposingly on the door’s threshold and her men surround her as if she is a true queen. “Welcome Thad, Jasper, and lovely Toby.” Her voice is full of sugary sweetness, so overwhelming that it could rot your teeth. Yet her eyes betray her with unrestrained hostility. “Sorry dear girl, but I don’t remember your name? Is it Agatha?” Her gaze darts toward Thad to gauge his reaction, and when she sees none, she turns back to me with triumph. “Well, what is it?” Vanessa demands fervently.

  Little patience. Duly noted.

  Toby radiates fury, so I lay my hand on his arm to settle him. “Aww. Bless it. It’s Adair, as I’m sure you remember. I’ve heard all about you, Ursula. Wait, that is your name, right?”

  Let’s see how you like me insulting you back, stupid cow.

  Toby relaxes and his frown transforms into a smirk. Thad eyes close and he exhales so softly I think I’m the only one to hear it. Jasper’s face remains impassive, but his almost indistinguishable shiver tells me he is fighting not to laugh.

  “Did you just insult me, girl? And you know my name is Vanessa. You will give me the respect I deserve,” Vanessa retorts angrily.

  “As I just stated, you are smart enough to remember. Were you not joking with me? I thought to show my appreciation with a joke in return.” Now it’s my voice that drips with sugary sweetness. Take that sea witch.

  Instead of responding, Vanessa huffs dramatically, turns around forcefully enough to cause the skirt of her dress to flare, and walks inside. Some of her men walk in behind her and some wait for us. Thad grabs my hand, and with a hesitant but reassuring squeeze, leads me inside with Toby and Jasper following. The verbal war with the woman has already begun and dinner hasn’t even started.

  Tonight’s going to be worse than I imagined. I hope this is worth it - that they choose me.

  We’re on the fourth course of dinner and the entire meal Vanessa and I have exchanged thinly veiled barbs while Priscilla giggled dumbly. I knew the minion would be here. Vanessa’s even boldly touched Thad a few times, usually while looking at me to ensure I’m able to witness her acts of possession. Her actions are purposeful to remind me that he belongs to her.

  Although she can't physically reach Jasper, she does insult him a few times about his past, even accusing him of being Thad’s whipping boy. Jasper’s face is like stone. He looks to be reaching his limit, and I hope this farce ends soon, for all of our sakes.

  Unprompted, Vanessa rises to her feet and walks over to stand behind Toby. She leans over and seductively whispers in his ear, “Would you like to join me for a brandy in my office? I have a proposal for you.”

  That’s it! I may not know the status of my relationship with Thad, something that needs to be addressed soon, but I do know what Toby is to me. He. Is. Mine. I begin to rise from my seat, fire blazing from my eyes, but Toby scoots away from her before I can push her away. With barely masked irritation, he murmurs through clenched teeth, “No. I prefer to stay here with Adair.”

  Vanessa shakes, visibly angry as she walks toward Jasper, her next target, but she gives him a predatory smile. “Jasper, my dear, I also have a proposal for you. But no need to discuss it alone since Thad is your master.”

  A gasp slips from me and Toby sucks in a breath at that remark. Jasper stands so abruptly his chair falls over. Vanessa clutches his arm before he can storm off. “Settle down. I didn’t mean that as an insult. But we all know what you really are. You just pretend that you are free here on the island because slaves are sparse. I’ve always coveted the special relationship you have with Thad. He will be begging to join my harem if you’re already mine. It will happen, it’s just a matter of time.”

  She sounds so sure of herself but the woman is delusional. Jasper looks ready to kill her but instead he stands there taking deep, heaving breaths and clenching his fists. I think Jasper is about to leave but freezes when Vanessa moves on to her next victim — Thad.

  “Thad, darling, please join me in my office. Even if no one else believes it necessary, I assure you it is.” Her hand trails across his shoulders and plays with his hair as she walks away expecting him to follow. I will him with my mind not to obey. My heart drops when he trails her like a dutiful puppy without sparing a glance towards me.

  When everyone but one of Vanessa’s men have left, Jasper walks over to me. “I have to go, Adair. I can’t watch this anymore. Toby, take care of her. I’ll be back when it’s time to leave.”

  To think I wanted to build something together, to be patient because of the past, but it was all a lie. Toby is wrong. I will never be enough. Brax left. Now, Thad is leaving before I ever really had him. But I will not let him do this to me here. I refuse to cry here in front of everyone.

  When the sun is starting to set, Thad comes for us, and we prepare to leave with only one of Vanessa’s men charged to send us off. Jasper brings the buggy over and we get in one by one. Anger pulses from every one of us, including Jasper.

  All is quiet until we take the turn away from Vanessa’s home. “Well, are you going to explain what happened in there? Why the hell you would let her insult me, touch you?” I don’t yell but my voice vibrates with cold anger. My jaw is clenched and my fists tightly ball up as I turn to Thad who cannot escape me since we are enclosed inside the buggy. Fuck. I didn’t mean to say anything, at least not yet, or show my hurt and anger to let him know how much he can effect me.

  Thad’s shoulders stiffen at my words but he replies without a glance in my direction. “It’s nothing for you to worry about. I took care of things. Now, please be quiet. I need to think, and I can’t do that with you asking me questions.”

  “Thad, what the hell mate?” Toby asks. His voice is full of the surprise and vexation I am feeling myself. He draws me closer into him providing the comfort I foolishly expected from Thad.

  “Don’t worry about it, Tobias. It’s an issue I have to take care of.” Thad’s reply is short and abrupt.

  Instead of questioning him further, I remain silent, not even talking to Toby. The ride back to the farm is far worse than the ride to Vanessa’s because I have no idea what will happen. The hope is that Thad will explain his actions and words to fix the rift between us. But when we arrive back at the farm he jumps from the buggy and storms off without a word.

  Jasper lets out a weary sigh and helps me down. “Adair, please — Well, just be patient.” It’s dark outside and I can’t see his eyes, but I do feel the gentle brush of his fingers on my hand before he walks away to store the buggy and care for the horses.

  Toby watches Jasper walk away without saying anything then wraps his arm around my waist to pull me against his warmth. His nose tickles my neck as he inhales my scent. Releasing me, he grasps my hand in his and entwines our fingers. “Come, my love, let’s go to bed. It’s been a long day.” Gently tugging, he leads me to the house.

  As we had earlier, we undress in uncomfortable silence. I’m not ready to talk about or face what tomorrow may bring. When I climb into bed, I face away from Toby not wanting him to see my tears because it feels like all he does is see me cry. But instead of calling me foolish, he wraps me in his arms and whispers, “ I love you and I will never leave you. It’ll all be okay, love.”

  We shall see. Now I have to figure out what I want. Today showed me that despite feeling strongly for Thad, and having an instant connection with him, there are many things, besides the obvious barrier of being from different centuries, that we have to overcome. Bigger and more scary things. Ones I was once certain we could face together but now have little faith in.

  Twenty-Two

  June 12th, 1785

  Adair

  Hurt stirs inside me as I sit at the table and stare at the plate of fruit before me. I am too nauseous to eat. Yesterday was a wretched affair that I never want to repeat. Toby
and Jasper sit across from me, but they remain quiet. Too quiet with neither of them knowing what to do or say, especially with Thad missing for breakfast.

  Without looking up as I ask, “Where do you think he is, Jasper? Do you think he’s with her?” I need to know if my doubts are justified and if he’s with Vanessa there will be no remaining doubt. Jasper doesn't answer, and I look up to stare into his pure green eyes dulled with a resigned sadness. My body tightens with tension as my thoughts turn to worst case scenarios.

  Jasper lets out a weary sigh. “Adair, I don’t know where he is. When he gets like this he usually leaves for a few days. I doubt he’s with her. The only emotion he feels for her is hatred. Hatred for what she does to him, the guilt he feels for allowing it, and her treatment of me. I’m sure he is beside himself with how he stood by while she belittled you. Just give him time.”

  “I’m trying, Jasper. But yesterday… well, yesterday was really hard. She has verbally attacked me several times now, separately and in front of all of you. No one says anything to her about it. She’s a vile witch, like Ursula from The Little Mermaid. When Ursula turns into a beautiful woman and sings with Ariel’s voice and tricks all the men into thinking that she is so great and wonderful, but underneath she is a freaking sharkapus.” Some of the hurt and anger comes through in my tone but I keep my face a mask of calm.

  Jasper looks rightfully confused at my references and Toby tries to hold back, but his expression shows he’s tickled by my outburst. But I don’t care. This woman poses a threat to me, and I need to understand why it’s tolerated so I can plan my defense. Right now I don’t feel as if anybody is with me except Toby, who like me, doesn’t understand the situation.

  Once I inhale the air necessary to fortify myself, not wanting my emotions to get out of control, I continue, “She made her big announcement, saying there had to be a welcoming ball in honor of Toby, and she was hosting. It’s ridiculous yet I was the one getting funny looks from you and Thad when I choked on my wine, then spit it all over the table. I don’t want this disgusting woman doing anything in my honor. She even tried to flirt with Toby.” I look to Toby and whisper, “Thank you for ignoring her, I can always count on you.”