A Christmas Star

by Thomas Kinkade

  Jack had not gone out to eat in the village for a long time. There was an attractive-looking café called the Beanery not far from the green, he noticed. Though it had been there awhile, he had never tried it. A glance through the windows showed a thick line of waiting customers snaking to the door.

  He saw a parking spot on the other side of the street and pulled the truck in. They were right in front of the Clam Box diner, an old standby. The food wasn’t anything to write home about, but it was reliable, and there was something cozy about the old place.

  “How about the Clam Box?” he suggested. “It will probably be faster than the place across the street.”

  “This looks fine,” Julie said. “I love clam chowder.”

  “They have plenty of that. Three kinds, if I recall correctly.”

  A little bell rang as he opened the door for her. He glanced around. The place wasn’t very crowded.

  Lucy Bates, the owner’s wife, suddenly appeared and greeted him with a wide smile. “Jack Sawyer, how are you?”

  “Hello, Lucy. Good to see you.” It was good to see her. She had always been so sweet and friendly whenever he had brought his family here. She had been very kind when his wife was sick, too. He remembered her visiting Claire in the hospital.

  “I’m not supposed to be working,” she confided. “But I’ll show you to a table.”

  She took two menus and led them to the table by the window. He let Julie sit first then slipped in the other side of the booth. “Lucy, this is Julie Newton. She’s working at the tree farm this year.”

  He didn’t know how to explain Julie. Was she his employee? Was she a friend? She was all of those things . . . and so much more, he thought. He had stumbled over his words but Lucy didn’t seem to notice.

  “Hello, Julie. Nice to meet you. Ever eat here before?”

  Julie shook her head. “Jack says you serve good chowder.”

  “Not bad. Get the New England, though. And the clam rolls are our best dish.”

  “Thanks for the tip. That all sounds good to me.”

  “How’s it going at the tree farm this year?” Lucy asked Jack. “We really need to get our tree. Maybe we’ll get up there this weekend. The boys still like to go, though they’re getting big now. They used to love coming to your place, Jack. That horse-drawn sleigh and visiting Santa Claus . . .”

  Jack felt his cheeks grow red as Lucy described the way the tree farm had been in years past. Julie stared at him. What was she thinking? He had told her about the Christmas shop, but he had never mentioned the other activities.

  “Yes, it was fun. A lot of work though. How are your boys, Lucy?” he asked, trying to change the subject.

  “Growing up,” she answered with a smile. “C.J. is into computer science—he’s reprogrammed everything in the house—and Jamie wants to be the next Steve Nash. How is David? What’s he up to these days?”

  Now Julie was really staring at him, her brown eyes wide as saucers.

  Jack looked down and ran his hand over his smooth hair. “I don’t know what David’s doing. We’ve lost touch,” he answered honestly.

  The pretty redhead stepped back, realizing she had asked too many questions. “Oh, I’m sorry. Well . . . I hope he gets back in touch with you soon. Teenagers go through all kinds of things, you know. Especially boys.”

  David wasn’t a teenager anymore, Jack thought wistfully. He’d be almost twenty-one now, a grown man.

  Lucy handed them two menus. “I’ll send the waitress right over. I’ve got to get to work. I went back to school,” she explained. “I’m a nurse now, can you believe that?” she asked Jack with a laugh.

  “Wow, that’s great. Charlie must be very proud.”

  “Sometimes he is. The rest of the time he’s sort of annoyed I’m not working here anymore,” she confided with a little smile. She glanced over her shoulder. “Too bad. I don’t think he ever appreciated what a good waitress I am. Was, I mean.”

  “I’m sure he didn’t,” Jack agreed.

  “So long. Nice to meet you, Julie,” Lucy added as she left them.

  “Nice to meet you, too,” Julie said.

  Jack watched Lucy go, knowing he had some ’splaining to do. He picked up his fork and fiddled with it nervously.

  “I thought your son passed away, Jack. Isn’t that what you told me?”

  He sighed. Julie was so straightforward. He liked that about her. Most of the time.

  “I said I lost him. That’s the truth. David took off a few months after his mother died, and I haven’t heard from him since.”

  “Oh . . . that must be hard for you,” she said quietly.

  “Yes, it is,” he agreed.

  The waitress appeared, and Julie ordered a cup of New England clam chowder and a clam roll. Jack ordered a Reuben sandwich.

  He suddenly felt awkward, at a loss for conversation. Which was strange; talking always seemed so easy when they were at the house. Maybe taking her out wasn’t such a good idea.

  “Thank you for telling me the truth about your son,” Julie said finally. “It must be very painful for you, not knowing where he is. I’m sure it’s difficult to talk about.”

  He looked at her, feeling guilty. She was too easy on him.

  “I need to apologize,” he said. “I didn’t mean to mislead you. But I never found a chance to explain.”

  “That’s okay. Now I know. How long has it been?”

  “Almost two years,” Jack said sadly.

  “And you haven’t tried to find him?”

  “I tried. I even hired a private investigator for a while, but I don’t think David wants to be found. He would have gotten in touch by now if he wanted to.”

  “Why did he go? Did you have an argument?”

  “We always had arguments, once he got into high school. The usual things. His mother used to smooth things over between us when she could and after she was gone, that was that. We argued one night. He left the house. I never saw him again.”

  Julie’s gaze was sympathetic but she didn’t say anything.

  “I look back and think of all the things I should have done differently, you know? But you don’t get second chances in life. That’s not how it works.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Sounds like you would give your son another chance if he called. Maybe he feels the same way you do but just doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to start things over again. Lots of us make bad decisions when we’re young.”

  “Did you ever?” he asked. Something in her tone and the expression on her lovely face begged the question.

  “Yes, I did. I married the wrong man. I just wanted to get married, I guess. And have a child. I felt like I was getting older and I wouldn’t find anyone else.”

  He stared at her, amazed. How could she think she lacked for choices? Didn’t she own a mirror?

  “Life must be lived forward but can only be understood backward,” she told him.

  “Where did you learn that, in a philosophy class?”

  She shook her head. “A fortune cookie, I think.” He finally smiled again. “Did you get married young, Jack?”

  He wasn’t ready for that question, but she had been so open with him, he felt he owed her no less. “Yeah. I was only nineteen, but I felt very sure of what I was doing. And I never had any regrets,” he added honestly. “Claire and I met in high school. We both grew up around here.”

  “Sounds like you were happy.”

  “We were. Until she got sick.”

  He didn’t like to talk about Claire with anyone, and it felt odd being so frank with Julie. But it was so easy to talk to her, it was . . . uncanny. He just felt as if he had known her a long time. He even thought Claire would have liked her if they had ever had the chance to meet.

  “Cape Light is such a beautiful town. I can see why you never wanted to leave.”

  “I like it. Still undiscovered, still very country. It’s great in the summer. There’s the beach, sailing. We get some tourists but
not too many.”

  “What do you do the rest of the year, when you aren’t selling Christmas trees?”

  “I have the nursery and my landscaping business. I’m pretty busy.” These last two years, his client list had dwindled. He had enough work to get by, though he knew he could be busier. “I used to have a big greenhouse, too, but I let that go.”

  He said that about a lot of things, didn’t he? He hoped she didn’t think he was lazy.

  “I like living in a place like this, sort of hidden away. Carlisle was like that.” She took a bite of her clam roll. “The town where my brother lives is a real suburb. He’s in a condo. All the units look the same. I don’t know how his family can find their way back when they go out somewhere.”

  Jack couldn’t imagine Julie in a place like that. Something wasn’t right about that picture. He had almost forgotten she planned on leaving soon. He didn’t want to talk about her going away. Not today, anyway.

  “Do you have any other close relatives, Julie? Another sister or brother?”

  “It’s just me and Peter. Our father died when I was in high school, and my mom passed away a few years ago.”

  So she really is alone. Just like me, Jack thought.

  Julie drew in a breath and for the first time looked hesitant. “Now that the hard cast is off, do you want me to stay? I wasn’t sure about that.”

  “Sure, I want you to stay,” he said quickly. “I mean, if you want to,” he added. “This is the busiest time for the tree lot, from now until Christmas. And you’ve started with those ornaments and trimming things. . . .”

  She looked pleased. He knew he didn’t have to say more and give his real feelings away.

  “I would like to stay,” Julie told him. “Until Christmas. Kate will be happy. She likes her new preschool.”

  He smiled. “I’ve been meaning to tell you, I want you to keep all the sales from the Christmas shop. It’s all your work. It’s only fair.”

  “Don’t be silly. I’ve had stands at flea markets and craft fairs. It doesn’t work like that, Jack.”

  “I don’t care how it works at a flea market. This is my business. I run it as I like. You cleaned that place up, got it organized. You keep whatever you make in there and don’t argue with me, okay?” His tone turned a bit gruff, but he knew she could tell it was only an act.

  “That’s very generous of you.” She took a drink of her soda. “In that case, mind if we stop at a store on our way back? I saw a place in town where I can pick up some more art supplies.”

  “No problem. Let’s get more ribbon for the wreaths, too. They’re flying off the rack.”

  She nodded and took a bite of her clam roll. “Is it true what Lucy said about the tree farm? It sounds like it was a real Christmas village. That must have been fun,” she said wistfully.

  Although Jack felt relaxed and happy in her company, he wasn’t ready to talk about the past. That was still too hard. “It was a lot of work and bother,” he answered, his tone shorter than he meant. “It really wasn’t worth the effort,” he said more gently, “though the kids enjoyed it.”

  “I’m sure they did.” Julie tried to catch his gaze but he purposely looked out the window. “So, who dressed up as Santa Claus?”

  He pretended he didn’t hear her for a moment.

  “I did,” he said quietly.

  Now here was a moment when he really should have lied to her. At first her eyes widened in shock. Seconds later she looked as if she might laugh. She was smiling so broadly, he had to smile, too. Her dark eyes shone and a dimple creased her cheek.

  “Why is that so funny?”

  “It—it just is.” She was laughing now, and he made a face, pretending to be insulted. “I’m sorry, Jack, You just don’t strike me as the Santa type. . . . But I mean that in a good way,” she added quickly.

  Not the Santa type, in a good way? Should he take that as a compliment? He couldn’t say. All he knew at that moment was that he liked her. Liked her a lot. He felt better just being around her, happy and hopeful. And he hadn’t felt happy or hopeful for a very long time.

  He looked down at her slender hand on the table, close to his. He had an impulse to reach over and cover it with his own. What would she do? Would she be upset with him? Surprised? Tell him she was sorry, she was only trying to be friendly and he had totally misunderstood?

  The bell on the door jingled, announcing the arrival of a new customer. Jack looked up to see the minister from the church on the green. Julie turned her head and smiled.

  “It’s Reverend Ben,” Julie said quietly. “Do you know him?”

  “Yeah.” When she raised an eyebrow in interest, he just shrugged and said, “It’s a small town.”

  Jack saw the minister coming over to their table. Great. He hadn’t been to church since Claire’s funeral and had never been that keen on it before then, either. He just wasn’t the churchgoing type.

  Julie greeted the pastor happily. Jack nodded stiffly.

  “Hello, Julie, nice to see you.” Then Reverend Ben looked at Jack. “Hello, Jack. How are you? It’s been a while.”

  “Oh, I’m all right. Getting along okay, I guess.”

  “That’s good. Must be busy at the nursery now.”

  “We’re picking up speed every day.” Jack glanced at Julie. “I hurt my ankle. It’s better now, but Julie’s been working with me. She’s a big help.”

  “I’m sure she is.” Ben smiled at both of them. “Carolyn and I will be along soon to get our tree. Save a good one for us.”

  “I’ll find a perfect tree for you, Reverend,” Julie promised.

  Ben smiled. “It doesn’t have to be perfect, as long as it has lots of character.”

  He nodded, taking them both in with a sweeping glance. He looked very satisfied by what he saw, Jack noticed.

  After Reverend Ben had left, Julie turned back to Jack. “I like him. He’s very easy to talk to, not like most ministers I’ve met.”

  “Yes, he is different. More like a regular guy. I mean that in a good way,” he added, making her smile again.

  The waitress came by and took their empty dishes. Julie ordered coffee and looked over the dessert list. Jack found his gaze drawn back to Reverend Ben, who was sitting alone at a table on the other side of the diner.

  He recalled how the minister had called and even visited a few times after Claire’s death, but he never responded. He wondered now if he should have allowed Ben to get closer. Maybe it would have helped, especially when it came to dealing with David.

  Thoughts of his son weighed heavily on his heart lately. Jack wondered if he should try to talk to Ben now. He had heard that Ben had trouble with his own son, Mark, who abruptly dropped out of college in his first year, wandered around the country, and barely kept in touch with his family for several years after. Mark had finally come home and everyone had reconciled. Maybe the minister would have some advice to offer?

  No, Jack decided, he couldn’t do that. He didn’t go to church. Not even on Christmas. It wouldn’t be right to ask for help now, he decided.

  SAM WALKED INTO THE CLAM BOX, HEADING FOR A SEAT AT THE counter. He didn’t like Charlie Bates very much, or the soap-box philosophy the diner owner offered his patrons as he worked at the grill. But he did enjoy Tucker Tulley, Charlie’s best friend, who often stopped in for lunch at this time. Sam didn’t see either today, but he heard someone call out to him.

  He turned and spotted Reverend Ben, seated alone at his favorite table. “Join me for lunch, Sam? You know how I hate to eat alone.”

  As far as Sam could see, Reverend Ben relished his solitary moments whenever he could find them and was probably just saying that to be polite. But Sam could use some company today. It had not been an easy morning.

  “So, what’s new?” Ben asked. “How are things working out with the cabin? Is Jessica feeling better about it?”

  Sam bowed his head a moment then looked up at Ben. “Jessica finds the cabin small. I think her exact
word was dismal. She doesn’t want to have to stay there all day long, so she’s going back to work at the bank. Well, that’s not the only reason she’s taken a job,” he added. “But it’s part of it.”

  “When does she start?” Ben asked.

  “Tomorrow.” Sam picked up his menu then put it aside without opening it.

  “You don’t look too happy about that,” Ben noted.

  “I know we need the extra salary. It’s the logical thing to do. But she just went out and committed to the job. Never said a word to me. It’s like she didn’t even care what I thought.”

  “Did she ever explain why she didn’t talk it over with you first?” Ben asked.

  Sam sighed and sat back. “She said she was afraid I would try to talk her out of it. That I would ask her to put it off, or something. She doesn’t think I’m facing up to our problems.” Sam shook his head, feeling angry. “That’s rich. I feel as if I’m the one carrying this whole load on my back, protecting her and the kids from how bad it really is.”

  Ben suddenly looked concerned. “How bad is it, Sam?”

  Sam stared down at the table. “I’ve been the one dealing with the insurance company. I started to think our claim wasn’t looking that good after a few things the agent told me. I spoke to the insurance company again this morning, and they gave me a final figure.” He paused. “It’s bad, Ben. It’s . . . pathetic. It won’t even cover partly restoring the building, much less replacing our belongings.”

  Sam passed his hand over his eyes a moment, trying to control his emotions. He thought he might feel better, confiding this disaster to someone, especially to Reverend Ben. But saying the words aloud made the truth sound even harsher and even harder to accept.

  Ben leaned forward, looking surprised and upset. “But why, Sam? How are they able to do that? It doesn’t seem right.”