The Heart of the Circle

by Keren Landsman

  “The Sons of Simeon envision a future in which people like us are enslaved to them, and in exchange, they can use their powers without restrictions. They claim that’s freedom,” she said. “I say that real freedom is the possibility to live side by side in mutual respect, that our society will prosper only if we truly accept one another. I believe you agree with me.”

  I peered into her eyes and put my hands on the table, side by side. “I promised Daphne that I wouldn’t die as long as we’re sharing the same apartment.” I interlaced my fingers and raised my hands to my heart, mimicking her gesture.

  “I’ll do whatever I can to protect you,” Sherry said, and then shifted her gaze to Lee, her fingers still linked.

  Lee sighed quietly, leaned in and imitated our gesture.

  I separated my hands and leaned back in my chair. “What do you need from me?”

  “For starters, I need you to go to the rally.”

  “So the Sons of Simeon will think their plan is still working?”

  Sherry nodded.

  “But how are you going to identify their real target?” Lee asked her.

  “Again you’re asking the wrong question,” Sherry replied. “Give it another shot.”

  He tapped his fingers against the armrest of his chair. “So you’ll be able to find a way to intercept their plan without arousing their suspicion.”

  “And also…?” She asked, looking at me again.

  I nodded towards Lee. “He’s the genius here. I, apparently, am simply everyone’s crash test dummy.”

  Lee snorted. “Genius, huh?”

  I smiled at him, stroking his thigh. “Well, what’s Sherry’s ‘and also’?”

  Lee scratched his forehead. “You’re not going to help out?”

  I shrugged. “All I’ve been hearing is ‘Reed’s going to die according to their plan so that…’” And I stopped. They had chosen me because I wasn’t significant enough, and yet I wasn’t just a random choice. I was someone who put himself in the line of fire, like Sherry said, but only for friends. Or for a worthy cause. And someone on the Sons of Simeon’s side knew this and intended to take advantage of it. Sherry didn’t only want to find the Sons of Simeon and foil their plan. While she seemed to reject this hypothesis yesterday, she knew as well as I did that they wouldn’t have been able to murder so many people at our rallies without collaborators. She wanted to find the collaborators within our community and root them out. Ivy? No. Ivy would never do something like that to me. Regardless of what happened between us. I knew her well enough to know that no matter what she’d gone through, or how much she had changed, she’d never betray me like that.

  “You’ve got it,” Sherry said quietly.

  “You want to find the collaborators.” I felt the tension building up inside me again. “This rally…”

  “Blood soaked,” Sherry whispered. “The seers working with the Sons of Simeon are hiding it well. I don’t intend to let them hurt anyone on my force. If people get hurt, I’d rather it be people who don’t think…”

  “Like you,” Lee interjected. “You’d rather have people who think differently from you die; you’re just like them.” His voice was shaken.

  “No,” Sherry said, staring at Lee. “I’d rather the people who get hurt be those who try to harm the innocent, who think people like us have no right to exist.” She held out her hands. “This world is shitty. I think we can make it better for all of us. Including for people who don’t agree with me.” Her voice turned harsher. “It’s a suicidal form of terrorism. These are people like us who’re crossing the lines to hurt us. We have to stop it, any way we can.”

  I could hear Yeshurun’s voice. I had to embrace them, to understand those who turn against the community. For a moment, I was on his side.

  Sherry’s voice softened when she said, “I’ll do whatever I can to protect you. At no point will you be exposed.”

  “How?”

  “A protective circle.”

  Protective circles only worked if the sorcerers who partook in them were united in their cause. The circles failed if the sorcerers sustaining them had conflicting intentions. The main difficulty was making sure all the sorcerers actually had the same goal. I could see what Sherry was thinking. A circle that contained her and everyone close to me. She assumed they’d all want me to live. And then the Sons of Simeon would try to carry out their plan, and she’d catch them and find out what they wanted.

  Lee burst into a joyless laughter. “Maybe we should make a voodoo doll too? It’s just as effective.”

  Sherry gave him an icy glare. “A circle of six sorcerers. Four elementalists, two psychics. We’ll cast it on Reed. That’s what we did with Rabin.”

  “Yeah, and we all saw how well that turned out,” I smirked. “It worked, the first two times.”

  Lee shifted in his chair and looked at Sherry. “Just so we’re clear. If anything happens to Reed…”

  “Threatening a civil servant is sufficient grounds for an execution.”

  “I’m not making any threats, just stating a fact.”

  “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that fact.” Sherry turned to me. “I’ll assign you a police officer for protection. I won’t let anything happen to you before the rally.”

  “And then you can kill me according to plan.” I attempted a smile.

  Sherry pursed her lips “I don’t kill civilians.” She leaned in and lowered her voice. “It’s just going to be a few days. It’ll be over soon.”

  Lee placed his hand on my back.

  Sherry swiveled to face her computer screen. “So, about yesterday…”

  After we finished with my report, Sherry called in a police officer named Dimitri. He was a tall, blue-eyed blond, arms sinewy and bulging with muscles. I noticed Lee’s pleased smile. I nudged him with my finger, and his smile dissolved.

  Dimitri turned out not only to be a damus but a three-time winner of the regional boxing championship.

  After we left Sherry’s office, the effect of the pill finally started to wear off. Lee looked at me and flooded me with a wave of affection and intense desire. I returned the wave. Dimitri trailed behind us, keeping a seemly distance.

  Lee stroked my arm. “What do we do now?”

  “Something that will help me keep my mind off that,” I said, tilting my head towards the police station behind us.

  Lee looked back and then fixed his gaze on me again. “Want to go catch a movie?”

  I smiled. “That sounds really… normal.”

  Lee slid his hand into mine. “Normal can be nice sometimes.” At the box office, we wondered whether we should buy a ticket for Dimitri too. He whipped out his badge and entered.

  The theatre was relatively empty. We sat in the front row, our hands all over each other, stealing the occasional kiss. I missed most of the storyline in the first half of the movie, and Lee didn’t even pretend to look at the screen, his eyes resolutely on me.

  “Is this normal?” he whispered as he slid his hands between my thighs.

  I hummed and leaned back, closing my eyes. I felt Dimitri at the end of the row, his concentration popping my and Lee’s little bubble of privacy.

  Dimitri’s constant scouting out threats from the audience was giving off an echo that kept jolting me out of my moment with Lee. I pulled away from Lee and gazed at the screen, trying to focus, but I was still engulfed in a cloud of Lee’s scent and couldn’t think of anything other than his hands and his lips, and the need to get back home already.

  I edged out the fear and anxiety, burying it deep beneath the need for physical intimacy. ‘Don’t think about it’ became my strategy.

  Lee walked me home after the movie, with Dimitri taking the lead up the stairs and opening the door. Daphne was standing on the other side. They both stood there, motionless, eyeing each other. I felt the shift in their feelings, from suspicion to mutual acknowledgement to a certain affection. Daphne took a step back, letting the three of us into the apartment. Dimitri
canvassed the rooms, sat down on the living room couch and heaved his legs onto the coffee table without uttering a word.

  Daphne shuffled to the kitchen, took out a bunch of grapes from the fridge, rinsed them under the faucet and put them in a bowl. She burst into laughter, and Dimitri smiled. She walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, handing Dimitri the bowl. Lee and I remained in the entrance hall, Lee radiating mounting confusion.

  I cleared my throat. “Anything you’d like to share with the rest of us?”

  Daphne turned to me and bit her lip. “Oh, sorry.”

  Lee looked at me. “What’s happening?”

  I pointed at Dimitri. “They’re communicating. She and Dimitri are choosing futures in which they’ve already spoken to each other, so they don’t actually need words now.”

  Lee stroked his chin. “Would it work if I tried it?”

  Daphne shrugged. I already knew it wouldn’t, because Daphne and I had never managed to pull it off, no matter how hard I concentrated. Lee looked at her silently. After a moment, Daphne started laughing, and Dimitri gave off an uncomfortable feeling.

  “What?” Lee said, looking at Dimitri. “I just thought that…” Daphne raised her hand, still laughing. “It won’t work if you’re thinking about a few things at the same time, one of them being this person standing here, looking at me.” She winked at me.

  Lee sent me a small wave of embarrassment. I held his hand. “Come, I’ve got an idea for something we can do without words.”

  “Wait,” Daphne stopped me. “Gaia was looking for you.”

  “Gaia?” Lee’s brow furrowed.

  “A cute moody chick, from my Yoyo group.” I shifted my gaze to Daphne. “What did she want?”

  “Just to ask if you’re OK,” Daphne said, then lowered her voice, “you know her boyfriend is a damus, right?”

  I nodded.

  “So she probably knows about how you spent your morning, but without context she can’t tell why you’ve got a cop following you around.”

  “I’ll call her. I’ll calm her down.”

  “I’ve already calmed her down myself,” Daphne replied, “but next time…”

  I nodded. A moody with a damus. I knew how that relationship worked. I had to listen to her more, and remember she was only getting partial information that could worry her for no reason. I swallowed a sigh. She was only sixteen. The world was tough enough without her being exposed to all the information that came with having a damus by her side.

  Lee caressed my shoulder. “Should I be worried?”

  I winked at him. “Depends on how much you improve your game.” I led him to my bedroom. The living room went quiet behind us. I locked the door and looked at him. He was running his hand up and down my jawline, and I felt him inside me, searching for the root of my fear.

  “I can help with that.” He leaned into a kiss, and I let him dismantle my anxiety and drown it with warmth. I heard music coming from the living room. Daphne must have turned it on to give us some privacy.

  It wasn’t amazing, but much better than in the bathroom at the police station.

  24

  A text from Aurora came in the following day, around noon. Reminder – today at five. Yoyo.

  Daphne was at work, and Dimitri and I were standing alone in the kitchen. “I’ve got to go out,” I explained to Dimitri.

  “You’ve got to stay,” he repeated for the third time. “Sherry’s orders.” He put his syringe back in its box and folded the tourniquet. I knew vaguely about how the Soviet Union kept its damuses loyal to the country, and that it had to do with addiction from birth. In one of her rants, Ivy told me about the different policies countries had regarding damuses. In the Soviet Union, kids diagnosed as damuses were injected with substances that rendered them unable to use their powers, and the older the kid got, the more injections he had to receive, otherwise his power would drown him. There was an entire movement dedicated to smuggling damuses out of the Soviet Union, and a lot of them fell apart after leaving their homeland, because the substances in other countries weren’t as pure as those administered back home.

  “Sherry knows, as do you, that I don’t die until the rally.” I tried keeping my voice steady and calm. I pierced my fork into the last piece of lettuce.

  “No.” Dimitri closed the box with a thud. “Sherry knows, as me, there are enough ways to hurt you before rally.”

  I chewed silently. I wanted to go out. I wanted to meet Gaia and see how she was coping. I wanted to feel like I was doing something meaningful, like I used to do.

  “In five futures there is pyro waiting for you at bus stop.” Dimitri raised a silencing finger before I managed to answer. “Each future, different bus stop. Even though you think you get away, he waits.”

  “Pyro,” I mumbled at my plate. “What’s their obsession with pyros?”

  “Active force, quick strike, hardest to combat, effective deterrence, keep going even after pyro is neutralized.” Dimitri sounded as if he were reciting.

  Ages ago, during my military service, we attended a course in which we had to memorize the pros and cons of each force on the battlefield, but I was never in the mood, and Daphne kept choosing the future in which we managed to dodge the exam.

  “And what do we do, other than sit on our behinds and keep me from meeting my commitments?” I pierced the last piece of tomato on my plate.

  “We? You and me? Or we, Sherry and entire force, who for years been trying to prevent exactly what is happening now? You think is so easy to keep country safe? Ask Daphne how bad futures are we not in,” he said breathlessly.

  “Sherry’s just one person,” I muttered.

  “One person with right vision, and many damus on her side.” Dimitri drummed his fingers on the table. “I not flee Soviet Union for little sun and beach. I follow Sherry because I see what she doing, and I want be part of it.” He was almost talking to himself. “If she do what she promise, if we help her, few more years and it all be better. Not just here. Everyone see what Sherry doing.” He directed his attention back to me. “You understand what is growing up in Russia? What is like to be shot full of stuff that take your powers when you still baby? Then you have do everything country wants, or they not give you any more of it? You understand what is to see my children grow up, happy, not like their father?” He balled his hand into a fist. “I see Sherry many years now. Sherry make country safe. Sherry make I go in street and no one yell ‘fucking sorcerer,’ and no one throw things on my children, and no one hit my children, and no one put my children behind fence and… and…”

  “I’m sorry,” I said quietly.

  “This Sherry make. She make better world. Sherry make world of sorcerer and normie all live together. This is world I want to live in, not pass my time until dead.” A mix of rage and adoration was pouring out of him. I bit my lip. Another apology didn’t seem in order.

  “She…” I hesitated, searching for the right way to ask the question.

  Dimitri looked past my shoulder and turned his gaze back to me. “She not senior enough to change everything. Not yet. That why she still successful at staying under Sons of Bitches’ radar. Until now. And she… she…” He pounded his fist on the table. “She not like us. She cannot see where we head, but she is only one who is thinking about shared future. Future safe for everyone.” He sounded almost choked up when he spoke. “Society only rely on damus. No one imagining better future. Damus say something, everyone believe. Sherry not like that. Sherry has vision.”

  “We all have a vision. I, for instance…”

  “Need not to die,” Dimitri interrupted me, “and I not let you go to place where you draw attention.”

  “But they don’t kill me on the way to Yoyo,” I said, playing with my fork. “They get me at the rally. Until then I’m safe. That’s what Sherry wants, for me to go on with my life as always so they won’t suspect anything.” I put down my fork and looked at Dimitri with as much confidence as I could muster. “
And if they try anything… that’s what I’ve got you for.”

  “What you do is good. Go outside? No good.” He leaned in. “You not understand? You have do what Sherry want. I am enough to protect you here, home. Not out. At place with many people, you need combine powers.”

  Someone knocked on the door. Dimitri glanced in its direction and nodded. Apparently the Sons of Simeon weren’t going to attack me in my own home.

  I stood up and walked to the door. Blaze was standing on the other side, holding three books in his hand. Proof copies I didn’t recognize.

  “Odelia told me to bring you these.”

  “Thanks.”

  He lowered his gaze the moment I looked at him. “Lee said you need police authorization to leave your house, and Odelia wants you to take a look at these, do at least the first round of revisions. When you’re done, tell me or Lee and we’ll come pick them up.”

  Two days. It had been two days since I had maneuvered Blaze without his consent, and I had been so preoccupied with myself and with Lee that I hadn’t even thought of reaching out to him, hadn’t even apologized or tried to explain. Two days that he spent stewing in his anger and disappointment with me. I was searching for the right words to say to him. Any words at all really. All I wanted was to ask Dimitri to transport us to a present in which Blaze had already forgiven me. Instead I said, “Is River OK?”

  Blaze’s eyes were fixed on the floor. “We’re all a bit rattled by what happened.”

  I knew he was searching for an excuse to leave. He wouldn’t even look at me. I took a deep breath. “Sorry,” I said, with a steadier voice than I had expected.

  Blaze glanced up at me. Dark, black eyes I had spent hours on end peering into. Eyes that had smiled at me, had shed tears with me, had enveloped me with their warmth each time anew, promising shelter.

  “I know it doesn’t help, me apologizing.”

  “You can maneuver me into thinking it helps,” Blaze said coldly.