The Heart of the Circle

by Keren Landsman

  “Good,” the splasher in the jersey said, folding her arms across her chest. “Now we just need objects related to our powers, to get ourselves organized properly, and for Tempest’s neutral to wear off…”

  “And how’s that going to help us?” the teenager in the black jacket asked. “We protect someone, and the moment someone else gets hurt, the circle collapses. That’s what always happens with all the solutions these…” At least he clammed up before calling me a geriatric.

  I pulled up a chair, turned it around and straddled it with my chest pressed against the backrest. “A partial circle, true. But a full circle will enable us to harness the elements and attack.” I narrowed my eyes. “You have heard of full circles, right?”

  “What’s a full circle?” the boy asked in a derisive tone, but I could feel his curiosity piquing. Everyone’s, actually.

  “Should we start off with a round of introductions before I give you tips for something illegal?” It worked, as always. They dragged their chairs closer.

  We spent an hour talking about the structure of different circles and power combinations, with me stressing more than once that a full circle was illegal nowadays. While it did enable the harnessing and integration of the elements for a short period of time, it was also unstable and could cause serious damage. I didn’t tell them that full circles depleted us more than any other use of our powers, or that it could hinder their ability to draw in any sorcery at all. They were taking neutral. Overusing their powers wasn’t currently a risk. I held back from mentioning Houdini.

  I got them talking a little about their fears, and manipulated them into agreeing to protect each other when they left the group. After two hours, we said goodbye, and I felt the hesitant buds of affection sprouting between them.

  Gaia lingered behind after the session was over. Blaze and the pyro girl were tossing small fireballs to each other. Guy was standing next to Dimitri, and judging by their animated feelings I knew that Dimitri was showing him how to talk in reflections. Daphne had already known how to do that when we were in the army, but I never asked her how she learned it. I had always assumed it was something they just knew how to do, instinctively, although even I had to learn how to effectively maneuver others. It wasn’t instinct, contrary to popular belief.

  “Are you OK? Because Guy said that…” Gaia left the rest of the sentence hovering in the air between us.

  I shrugged and stacked the white plastic chairs. “These are trying days.”

  “You don’t say.” She leaned against one of the chairs.

  I reached my hand out, signaling to her to pass it to me. She picked it up and handed it over without bothering to stack it herself. Teenagers.

  “How about you?”

  “I’m OK. The algebra assignment was super easy. The literature paper, on the other hand…”

  “What’s with all the summer assignments?”

  Gaia shrugged. She was more reticent than usual.

  I put my hand on her shoulder. “You need to talk to someone?” I asked quietly, and sent her a sympathetic wave.

  She shrugged again, shaking my hand off. “I need this world to stop trying to kill my friends.”

  I gestured at Guy. “He saw it?”

  Gaia shook her head. “We’re not close enough, or something like that. But…” She faltered, her eyes welling up. “Is it true?”

  I sat down and Gaia plopped herself onto a chair in front of me. “Daphne’s never been wrong before.”

  Gaia sniffled.

  “But,” I said quietly, “she already saved my life once when it seemed death was inescapable. I trust she’ll find a way again.”

  Gaia narrowed her lips. “Can’t you do anything?” She sounded almost angry. “Instead of sitting here, talking to us about things we shouldn’t do because we’d get everyone killed if we tried…”

  “No one will kill you over a full circle. You’d just be tried and sentenced to ten years on the chain gang,” I said, attempting an amused tone.

  “Stop it,” she hissed. “It’s not funny.”

  I fell silent.

  “You drag us all here, and Aurora keeps going on about how we can be more than what we were born into, and now you’re going to die, and you’re not even trying to fight it.”

  I lifted my hand and, after a moment’s hesitation, placed it on her cheek. She was crying. Her sadness flowing in my direction, I pulled it into me, dismantled it and sent her a gentle wave of affection and security.

  “I…” I began to say, and changed my mind. “We’re doing all we can. Really. I have a police damus glued to my side, and Daphne won’t rest until she finds a way to change the situation. Nothing’s set in stone. I promise you.”

  Gaia was still sniffling.

  “When there’s a protective circle on you, I want to be part of it,” she said, thrusting her chin out.

  She was too young, and I knew I would prefer the older, more experienced Lee as part of my circle. I stuck out my hand. “Deal.”

  She shook it. “Good.”

  After we had finished tidying up the room, I said goodbye to Aurora at the gate. Blaze and the pyro girl were exchanging phone numbers. I edged out the petty desire to yell that he had a girlfriend.

  Back in the car, Dimitri sat behind the wheel, engulfed in a gray cloud of discontent.

  Blaze turned to me. “What’s this neutral business?”

  “It’s a steroid combined with an antihistamine,” Dimitri replied, looking at me in the rearview mirror. “And it stops harnessing of sorcery. More powerful than what we give at police station. Work differently.” He sounded like he was reciting a police briefing. The anger bubbling beneath his words was bone-chilling. “Children pop it like M&M’s. Only at school age. We cannot track down the dealers.”

  “Only school-age kids?” I asked, horrified. “But that’s the most vulnerable age. If they don’t experiment with their powers like they should at that age, then…”

  “Then we’ll get an entire generation of inept sorcerers, who’d rather not practice their powers because they simply don’t know how,” Blaze completed the sentence with a chillingly quiet tone. “Just as long as they don’t have to cope with their abilities.”

  I exchanged glances with Blaze. “How could anyone…” I cracked my knuckles. “Why would anyone not want to…”

  “You really can’t imagine yourself at their age taking something that will stop you from feeling?” Blaze asked quietly.

  “Shit,” I blurted.

  He put his hand on my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. “Totally.”

  We spent the rest of the ride in silence.

  Back at my apartment, Blaze insisted on coming upstairs with me. Dimitri was busy on the phone, conveying brief reports.

  Blaze walked into my room and gazed at the walls. “There’s no way Lee didn’t say anything about this color. Or about that,” he said, pointing at the poster of the horse against the sunset.

  I stood at the doorway, waiting for Blaze to leave. He finished his survey and looked at me. “What do we do now?”

  “Look for some neutral. I heard that’s what all the cool kids are doing.” I felt stifled.

  “You want me to call Lee?”

  I shook my head. It would be too hard to pretend I hadn’t noticed the sadness Lee was burying beneath his affection towards me.

  “Want a Lost in Time marathon?”

  I gave him a skeptical look. “You’re joking.”

  Blaze held out his hands. “Am I?”

  I shook my head. He was loaded with fear and concern.

  “I just want to do what I promised you,” he shrugged. “To be your friend.” He placed his hand on my shoulder in a feeble embrace. “Let’s watch some TV, you can keep wallowing in self-pity afterwards.”

  I let out a chuckle. “I’ve earned that self-pity fair and square.”

  “Totally.” Blaze kept his hand on me.

  I used to lean on him, and he’d hug me, and from th
ere a kiss would follow. Instead, I shook his hand off, looked at him and said, “OK.”

  I had ten episodes downloaded on my computer. We holed away in my room, isolated from Dimitri’s phone conversations and from the world that refused to let me come up for air.

  25

  As the weekend drew near, my feed was bombarded with posts and messages about the rally on Saturday. Gaia had sent me ten texts within thirty minutes, including a rambling voice message relaying the disjointed fragments of a plan. I sent Aurora a text asking how to make her stop, and she had sent back an emoji of a woman shrugging and some Zen quote about acceptance and letting go.

  Daphne had arranged for Aurora to participate as an airhead, and Matthew offered to talk to Lilia, the pebble who worked in the ER at his hospital. Sherry was also a pebble, but we didn’t want her to be busy with my circle instead of protecting everyone.

  When Saturday morning rolled by, I couldn’t get out of bed. Lee was at work catching up on tasks, and the fear I had successfully managed to edge out when he was around burst out all at once.

  Daphne came into my room and sat on the edge of my bed.

  “Tell me I’m going to make it,” I said, just barely straining out the words.

  “You’ll make it. And you and Lee are going to have two gorgeous kids,” she replied, caressing me.

  I closed my eyes. “Shit.”

  “You don’t feel like settling down?”

  I managed a brief chuckle. “It’s too quick. It’s… I…” My voice cracked.

  Daphne leaned in and hugged me. “I can’t tell you it’s going to be OK.”

  “I could just not go.” I sniffled. “I could decide to stay home.”

  Daphne nodded.

  “So there.” I sniffled again. “I’ve decided. I’m staying home, and Sherry and her plan can go find some other victim.”

  “They will.”

  I felt her tensing. “Daphne?”

  She tucked her hair behind her ears.

  “Am I going to die today?”

  Daphne bit her lip. It was one of those moments. My heart started racing. One of those moments in which the future diverged, in which Daphne couldn’t tell me what to do, in which, if I made the right choice, I’d survive.

  “If I don’t go to the rally, someone else will?”

  “Not exactly.” Her voice was strained.

  “Someone that’s planning on being there anyway?”

  She nodded. A lump began to form in my throat.

  “And there’ll be another murder?”

  Daphne pursed her lips.

  Gaia was going to be at the rally. My entire group of teenagers, Aurora and Forrest. And there was going to be another murder. A murder that I could prevent, that Sherry’s plans could prevent. The world Sherry had in mind depended on me.

  Daphne fixed her eyes on me. She didn’t have to say anything. Her gaze softened as my thoughts came into focus.

  “I’m going,” I said. I wasn’t asking.

  Daphne squeezed my hand. “Thanks,” she said, and got up. She couldn’t say anything more than that. I realized now that all the other side’s damuses were watching me.

  “Any wardrobe advice?” I asked once she got to the door.

  She smiled. “Something you don’t mind dirtying.”

  I managed a small smile.

  Lee and Oleander were the first ones on the scene. Dimitri cleared the way for Lee, but blocked Oleander’s entrance. Oleander stuck his hands in his pockets, and stared at Dimitri. They didn’t exchange a single word, but their emotions were shifting. Dimitri’s concern made way for feelings of safety, and Oleander’s humility shifted to an apologetic sentiment.

  When Dimitri stepped aside to let Oleander pass, Daphne hugged him. Oleander held her and whispered something in her ear. She nodded.

  Lee approached me and stroked my hair. “Is everything OK?” He sent me a delicate wave of concern.

  “It’s going to be.” I nodded towards Daphne and Oleander, still in each other’s embrace. “I’ve got a lot of damuses looking after me. And we have another hour until everyone else makes it here.”

  Lee hid a small smile. “I’ve got an idea how we could spend that hour, if you’d like.”

  “No! I’ve seen enough of you two,” Daphne yelled out, and we both started laughing.

  “You owe me, ‘Miss I’m-just-bringing-over-someone-from-thepub-for-a-bit,’” I retorted, and Oleander laughed.

  Dimitri shifted his gaze between us. “I also need to find a woman in rally now?”

  “Or a man,” Lee said with an almost serious expression.

  Dimitri rolled his eyes and turned his back to us, but I felt the amusement lurking inside him.

  Blaze and River showed up at seven pm on the dot, just like we had scheduled. Matthew, Lilia and Sherry arrived together at a quarter past seven. Matthew apologized, saying he had gotten caught up at work. His bag looked full and puffy, and I felt his fear.

  I had wanted Daphne to convince him to stay home, but I knew nothing could stop him from coming. He wouldn’t let me leave the house alone. Aurora, the last to arrive, pulled me into a tight embrace.

  “Forrest is already there with our teens,” she said. “And don’t even think about bailing from our meetings next week with the excuse of being dead. I don’t have enough experienced counselors, and your group’s already in love with you.”

  I returned the hug, and afterwards we did a round of introductions.

  The prearranged objects were resting on the kitchen table. To an outsider, they would have looked like a jumble of unrelated items.

  There were six spots in the circle, and as the one being protected, I had to stand in the middle. I took my spot.

  “Wait,” Matthew called out, looking at Sherry. “What about a bulletproof vest? Something?”

  “Three seers,” Sherry replied.

  “Three?”

  “One.” She pointed at Daphne. Then at Oleander. “Two.” And then at Dimitri. “Three. They’ll keep choosing the present in which no one gets hurt.”

  “There were riots in every recent rally. I spent hours in the ER stitching up marchers, and in each of those rallies there were seers who were supposed to prevent it.”

  “Yes, but–” I began to explain.

  “But what?” he cut me off. “What? In the goddamn pub there were two seers who were supposed to protect you, and it didn’t work, right? So don’t tell me everything’s going to be fine.”

  Only then did I realize Sherry hadn’t told Matthew anything. The only ones who knew about Sherry’s plan were the damuses, Lee and me. How was I supposed to convince him it was vital I be at the rally if I couldn’t tell him about the plan?

  “Matthew,” Daphne said, stepping forward and putting her hand on his arm. Matthew looked at her. She continued with a soft voice, “At the pub none of us thought anyone would try to hurt us. This time we’re ready. We’ll do whatever it takes. No one will get hurt.”

  “Remember the circle?” I placed my hand on his shoulder. “Hail? Fire? And nothing hit me? That was thanks to Guy. That’s what it’s like having a damus whose only goal is to protect you, and Guy’s only seventeen.”

  “I don’t like it,” he said.

  “Neither do I.” I shrugged.

  He raised his finger menacingly. “Don’t you dare go die on me.”

  “OK.”

  “Which way is east?” Aurora circled the living room with a feather in her hand.

  “Aren’t you supposed to know that instinctively?” Oleander asked.

  Aurora let out a brief chuckle. “No more than psychics naturally dress in purple.”

  Lee and I exchanged glances. I had purple socks on, and I knew the color of his underwear. We didn’t say a word.

  Lee pointed at the door. Aurora looked at him. “Really?”

  “East,” Dimitri said. Then he pointed in the direction of the bathroom. “West.” Then at the kitchen. “North.” And finally at the couch. �
��South.” He rummaged through his pocket and fished out a compass. “You want to check?”

  Aurora smiled. “Thanks.” She stood in the middle of the living room.

  Lee cleared his throat. “Maybe we shouldn’t cast a circle on the carpet? We’re going to need fire.”

  Daphne and I exchanged glances. Lee had used his nicest tone, though he couldn’t hide his agitation from either of us. Aurora paced three steps forward.

  Blaze stood to her left. He was holding the mound of ashes Lee had brought. I felt a tickle at the back of my neck. River joined the circle on Blaze’s left, in front of Aurora. She unclenched her fist, revealing a shell. The tickle at my nape grew stronger. Before Lilia took her position, Daphne and Oleander stepped forward.

  “No,” Dimitri said, stopping them. “I’m the bodyguard. I will be inside.” I had the feeling he said it loudly so we’d all hear, and so they wouldn’t argue with him.

  Daphne and Oleander remained outside the circle, with Lee and Dimitri standing on either side of me. Lee stroked my hand with his finger.

  Lilia stood to River’s left, in front of Blaze, closing the circle. She held a small clay pot in her hand, the kind toy stores sold for a shekel and a half for kindergarteners to paint on.

  Lee and Dimitri turned to face each other, with me standing between them. Lee held his hands out toward my sides, palms upward. Dimitri looked at him and held his hands out, palms downward.

  Standing outside the circle, Daphne counted out loud, “Three.

  Two. One.”

  Once her voice fell silent everyone dropped the objects they were holding and held hands, closing the circle. Dimitri placed his hands on Lee’s. The tickle at my nape turned into incessant shivers. I wondered how I’d ever be able to thank them. This circle, even though they were all willing participants, was going to drain them physically and mentally. Over the next few days, none of them would be able to practice their power as usual, if at all. How was Dimitri going to function on the police force? At least we weren’t casting a full circle that could actually harm them. There were enough people throughout history who had completely lost their abilities after participating in a full circle.

  The four elements merged and created a ring around us. Fire, water, steam and clumps of earth swirled in a large circle, passing through the four elementalists who created its circumference. The air vibrated around me. I felt the sorcery flow between us, ossifying into an invisible shell, a cylinder of energy compressing and tightening around me, taking the exact shape of my contours. The elements whirling around us blurred the outside world, hindering its effect on us.