Dance with Destiny

by Becky Lower

  He emerged from the forest and made his way down the path from the pasture. Out of the corner of his eye, he spied a bright blue cloth, and a small movement. He hid himself behind a tree until he could determine what or who was roaming in the woods with him. His eyes honed in on the blue. It was Lydia, by herself, and kneeling at a crudely constructed cross in the family grave compound. He had stumbled across the graves a bit earlier, and the two crosses there he assumed were marking the two children Susannah had lost.

  Raoul crept forward. Lydia was singing, or at least crooning. He had never heard her voice before, and stopped to listen, not wishing to startle her or interrupt what was obviously a very private moment between her and her twin. When he recognized the ancient Indian chant for the dead she was humming and crooning, his heart stopped for a moment. How did she have knowledge of the chant? Was it a universal song, lamenting the dead? Raoul sank to his haunches just outside the fence surrounding the graves and joined Lydia in song. She glanced up when he began singing with her, momentarily startled. But then, she nodded to him and continued her song. Finally, she patted the earth around the cross, rose and dusted herself off. She nodded in his direction once more and headed back toward the house. The breath left Raoul’s body, and his heart ached for the lonely little girl with no voice.

  ♥•♥•♥

  Susannah dropped off her letter at the post office before she went searching for Sully. She'd passed his wagon at the general store as she'd come into town and her luck held, as it was still there after her chore was finished. But then, people were never too hard to find in this tiny town at the foothills.

  Susannah climbed down from the wagon and turned as George jumped into her arms. Susannah crossed the street, holding on to George as he wrapped his little legs around her belly, which was now beginning to expand. She wondered if Sully would notice and comment. She ran a hand over her stomach as she closed the distance to the store.

  Sully was finishing up his order as she approached him. He turned to her, surprise registering on his grizzly face.

  "Why, hello, Susannah. What brings you to town? I had planned on visiting you next week."

  "I'm here to pick up a few supplies. There's always something that's needed, as you are well aware. But I also had a letter to post for William, so I’m stopping by to see if you had any letters for me."

  "No, I don’t have any new letters, and, after the last time I tried to deliver one to you, I’m a tad surprised you’d come in search of another. You didn't need to make a special trip into town. I could have picked up your letter next week."

  "I wouldn’t have come in unless it was urgent. But the impending birth of another child is news that cannot wait."

  Sully's glance moved down her body, to her little bump. And came back to her face. She resisted the impulse to duck her head. She was not ashamed of this child.

  "When is the child due?"

  "Sometime in December."

  "So this happened right before William left?"

  "Of course, Sully. Isn't that obvious?"

  Sully's eyes darted around the store, and Susannah could tell he was adding up the months.

  "Yeah, I reckon. Maybe you and the children should move into town for the winter."

  "We can't do that, Sully. We have livestock to care for."

  Sully leveled his gaze on her. "You can bring that cow and horse into town with you, if you are so inclined. Once the pass gets closed off—and that happens sometimes as early as next month—there will be no one to help you when your time comes."

  "Hannah can help. She's old enough. And it's not as if I haven't done this before." She shifted George from one hip to the other.

  "William won't be able to get away, new child or not. His work with the army is too important for him to be granted leave. We need to crush those Rebs."

  "I had hopes he’d be able to get away during winter. Surely they can’t fight each other in the midst of a raging snowstorm. But, I'm not counting on him coming home, Sully. We'll make do. I merely wanted to tell him what’s going on, and what he's missing. If it makes him pine for his family a bit, perhaps he'll fight harder and come home sooner."

  Sully gave her another hard look. "Well, it seemed as if you had things under control last time I was there. Wood piled high, the larder full. You sure you don't have someone helping out? That's an awful lot of work for a woman and two young children to do."

  "What are you saying, Sully? Do you assume I’ve got little woodland creatures helping me? Or that I've got a man stashed away up in the hills? If that were the case, I wouldn't be so desperate to get William home, would I?"

  "Don’t go getting on your high horse, Susannah. I'm just saying if you're doing it all yourself, you're doing one hell of a job. But then, you’ve always been a mite strong. That's all."

  Susannah huffed out a breath. "All I'm trying to do, Sully, is get my family through the winter. You can assume there are magic elves in the forest helping me if that makes you happy. But when I go to bed dog-tired at night, I’m well aware I’m all alone."

  Sully shrugged and Susannah turned toward the door of the general store, tears smarting at her eyes, which she’d be damned if she’d let Sully see. If he should find out about Raoul, even with him living in the barn, her reputation in this town would be in tatters. Their conversation was skating way too close to the truth for her liking. Maybe it was a good thing the pass would be closed off soon. Then, no one would come snooping around to see how the Myers family was faring.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Several weeks later, Susannah, her children, and Raoul, were just finishing up breakfast in the cabin when the sound of a wagon coming up the pass came to their ears. Raoul and Susannah exchanged a worried glance and the coil which had been twisting in her gut since her last talk with Sully began to tighten even more. She placed a hand over her stomach.

  Hannah jumped up from the table and began to gather up the dirty dishes. "Mama, we need to hide Lone Wolf from whoever's coming."

  "There's no need to worry, Hannah. It must be Sully. No one else comes up here. But he's early."

  Raoul stood and walked to the door. "Perhaps he is searching for something then, if his routine is different today. I must get to the barn. I left some clothing to air out last night."

  Susannah strode to the sink, where the dishes were piled high. "Hannah and Jacob. Why don't you run down the hill and greet Sully? Maybe take your time getting into the wagon. That will give us a few more minutes."

  The children took off running, as did Raoul. He dashed to the barn while Susannah washed up his plate, returning it to the shelf. If Sully chose to count plates, there would only be enough dirty ones to account for her family, none extra.

  She glanced around the kitchen, making certain there was no trace of Raoul. Sully already had pieced together something wasn’t adding up. She didn't need to validate his suspicions.

  Susannah pulled a shawl around her shoulders and ran to the barn. Her gaze bounced around the rough-hewn room. There was no trace of Raoul or his possessions. He had turned into Lone Wolf again. The man who more closely resembled an Indian than a French man had disappeared into the woods. She smiled and closed the barn door before walking into the clearing and waiting for the wagon. Let Sully try to find him.

  She straightened her hair, patting her braid, which was coiled around her head. Her apron was dirty, but there was no time to change it. After all, it wasn't as if Sully was an expected guest. He'd have to deal with a bit of dishevelment. Perhaps her rumpled attire would reinforce the message that she was alone, and the work that Sully so admired was being done only by her hand.

  The wagon finally appeared, creaking as it made its way up the hill. The lone mule strained under the weight as he climbed to the homestead. Susannah shielded her eyes with her hand from the weak rising sun as she waited for Sully to stop the wagon. Hannah and Jacob jumped down as Sully set the brake.

  "Mama, Sully's got a letter from Daddy!" Hannah da
nced around the wagon while Sully climbed down.

  Susannah glanced up at Sully's weathered face. "Really? It can't be in response to my letter. The timing's off."

  "Probably not. He's probably just now receiving your letter, telling him about the baby. But this proves you and the family are uppermost in his mind."

  Sully gave her a long stare, handed her the letter, and glanced at the cabin. "This will probably be my last visit for a while. Snow's collecting along the pass already. Won't be long before it's shut off completely. I'll take a minute and make sure you're in good shape for the winter."

  "If it will make you feel better, go ahead. But we've worked hard to get ready. The pantry's full with canned goods, the smoke house has meat. All that's left to do is to bring the cow down from the pasture for good and we'll be all set."

  Sully took his time, walking through the house and barn. He noted the firewood, neatly stacked into high piles, and near the door. He checked the pantry, spent a lot of time examining the deer carcasses hanging in the smoke house, and returned to the clearing in front of the house. Susannah waited for him to complete his inspection, fuming at his insinuation.

  "Everything seems to be in order, Susannah. You've done a great job getting ready for Old Man Winter. Makes me wonder how you did it all. I'll wander up and see how the pasture fence is holding up before I go."

  Susannah and Hannah exchanged a quick glance. Ziigwan still shared the pasture with the cow. If Sully found the strange horse with Indian markings, he'd ask all kinds of questions. And come to his own conclusions.

  Hannah stared up at the man. "The cow is my job. Daddy said so. I've been taking care of her and the fence all summer."

  "You have enough to do as it is, Hannah," Sully replied as he grabbed her pigtail and gave a gentle tug. "It's the least I can do."

  His long strides ate up the distance between the house and the pasture. Susannah seized her daughter's shoulder and whispered, "Go with him, Hannah."

  Hannah dashed off, following Sully. But with his head start, Hannah would reach the pasture after him. And if he spotted Raoul's horse, Sully would ask a myriad of questions. At least she hoped he'd give her the benefit of the doubt and ask questions before jumping to the conclusion that she had another man taking care of her.

  The coil in her gut twisted into a knot and she tasted bile in the back of her throat as she waited for Sully and Hannah to return from the pasture with Bossy. And perhaps with Ziigwan.

  ♥•♥•♥

  Several tense minutes later, Sully returned from the pasture, with a guarded expression on his face. Hannah bounced down the hill in front of them, and when she spotted Susannah, a huge smile broke out on her little face. Raoul had taken Ziigwan with him when he disappeared. They were safe from scandal.

  For now.

  Sully slowed his pace as he got to the clearing and shook his head.

  "Well, Susannah, I can’t figure out how you've done it, but you are ready for winter. There won't be anyone to help you when your time comes with the baby, but you should have enough food to get by."

  "I told you, Hannah can help with the delivery. She's old enough, and she helped before, with George. She can handle it. We'll be fine."

  "There's just one thing I can't quite figure out..."

  Susannah held the breath she’d been slowly releasing and glanced up at him as he easily climbed back into the wagon.

  "What's that, Sully?" She pulled the shawl tightly around her body as the wind whipped around her, and placed a hand on her bulging belly. She forced a smile and waited.

  "That's a big deer in your smoke house. I doubt you, even with all your children, could have hung it up in there. And since when did you learn to shoot with a bow and arrow?"

  Susannah's jaw clenched before she brought the smile back. "Whatever are you saying, Sully?"

  "I'll keep this between us, Susannah. No use upsetting the folks in town. But if there's an Injun running around in these woods, helping you out in return for your favors, which is what it seems, I need you to tell me."

  Susannah could barely keep her feet, as her knees threatened to buckle. She grabbed the side of the wagon and took a deep breath. She could feel the heat climbing into her cheeks, at Sully’s insinuation of her character.

  "There is no 'Injun' helping me out in return for my favors, Sully. I'm a married woman, for God's sake!"

  "And you'd best keep that uppermost in your mind. You haven't hidden your anger at your husband for leaving. It wouldn't surprise me at all if you've replaced him in your heart already. Folks in these parts don't take kindly to half-breeds. Or women who commit adultery."

  Through gritted teeth, she replied, "There will be no half-breeds, Sully. And I am not an adulterer. You’ve known me for years, so how would you even harbor such an idea? On this mountain there is only me, and my children."

  "We'll see in spring, won't we?"

  "Stop talking in circles, Sully. What are you implying?"

  "When the new baby comes, we'll see what color his skin is."

  Susannah gasped, and bent over, shielding the unborn child against such abuse. Then, she stood up to her full height.

  "How dare you!"

  "I'm only saying what everyone else will say once they see you with a baby long after your husband has left town."

  "In case you forgot how to count, Sully, it takes nine months for a baby to get born. William's only been gone for seven months, and the baby's not ready to be born yet. It will be a Christmas child."

  Sully shook his head. "Forgive me if I don't buy it. Your woodpile is impressive, your larder is well stocked, you've got a huge deer hanging in the smoke house with an arrow hole, not a shotgun, which brought it down. Something’s not adding up, is all I’m saying. All evidence points to someone helping you out, and that someone is an Injun."

  Susannah sucked in a breath. "We'll just see when spring comes, then, won't we?"

  "I reckon so. Have a comfortable winter, Susannah, and good luck."

  He flicked the reins and the wagon jerked into motion. Susannah stood apart from the wagon and followed his departure with her gaze. Tears threatened, but she blinked them back. Sully had only put the pieces together, and figured she was getting assistance from someone. There was no harm in admitting she couldn't do it all. What made her eyes sting though, was his not-so-veiled notion that she was paying for the assistance with her body.

  Sully was voicing an opinion she'd encountered time and again over the years from men. The assumption was because she had so many children she must really enjoy sex. On several occasions, when William was off hunting, men would saunter up the hill and offer to take care of her while he was away. She was surprised no one other than Sully came up the hill now, until she pieced together the fact all those wandering men were off fighting alongside her husband. Yet, somehow, her reputation as a loose woman remained with her. At least, in Sully's mind.

  And what about in her mind?

  She admitted she was grateful to Raoul for showing up on her little patch of mountain, and offering to help her keep Hannah and the rest of her brood warm and fed for the winter. She admitted to a growing respect as he took on chore after chore without complaint. But, as much as she tried to resist having her mind head in that direction, she also had to admit an attraction to him in a physical sense. His exotic native appearance, his tremendous physique, honed by years of hard work, his haunted eyes. Yes, she had to admit, she was drawn to him in a way she'd never been with any other man, even William. And part of her embarrassment with Sully’s comments came from the fact he wasn’t so far off in his assumptions. So far, Susannah had resisted allowing herself to get closer to Raoul. Except for the night he’d held her while she cried out her grief, he had not touched her. Except with his eyes. She was aware he stared at her, that he ran his eyes up and down her body, and she wondered how it would feel if it were his hands rather than his eyes running up and down her body. Sometimes at night, when she was having trouble sle
eping, she allowed herself to wonder. But then, her mind would head to William, and she’d cry herself to sleep.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  It was dark by the time Raoul led Ziigwan into the clearing. There was still a light in the house, but he didn't go there. Instead, he took the horse into the barn and began to groom him while Ziigwan filled his belly with oats.

  While he spoke an Indian chant to the horse to calm both the horse and himself, his mind was buzzing. Sully's visit today had been unexpected, because he had a hunch Susannah was harboring a fugitive of some kind, and a surprise visit would trip her up. Perhaps a slave on the run north, or an Indian. Raoul suspected both types of individuals had called the woods around Susannah's homestead their own at one time or another. Why Sully would care was what bothered him.

  Did he assume Susannah was hiding not only a fugitive but a lover? Did he assume his part in the war effort included keeping those women left behind faithful to their husbands? Did he assume Susannah was the kind of woman who would cheat on her husband at the first opportunity?

  The answer was obvious. Raoul and Ziigwan had barely reached the shelter of the forest before Sully came striding up to the pasture, on the lookout for any tell-tale sign. The way Sully had scoured the pasture meant he was pretty sure of the answer before he began, and he only needed something to validate his suspicions. Raoul sat on Ziigwan and observed Sully’s jerky motions as he let himself into the pasture and stared at nothing but a cow. Hannah followed him and went straight to Bossy, chattering the whole time.

  Raoul and his horse melted farther into the woods, waiting for Sully to leave. But merely because there was no other animal in the pasture did not mean Sully could put aside his misgivings. There was too much wood, too much meat, for Susannah to have amassed it all by herself. Would Sully rather she and her children starve or freeze to death this winter? What purpose would that serve?