Blogging is Murder: A Jade Blackwell Mystery

by Gilian Baker

  Christian come into the kitchen in bare feet, PJ pants and a holey t-shirt that was so comfortable from wear I couldn’t get him to part with it. He wasn’t dragging anymore, but I’d seen him perkier. It must’ve been a long day. I caught a whiff of his masculine-smelling body wash as I sat down at the table across from him. We love Ellie more than anything, but now she’s off at college, we enjoyed it being just the two of us again. After he’d taken a few bites, I told him about Liz’s debacle.

  “You’re kidding me. That’s scary. What did they do?” As his attention peaked, his fatigue vanished.

  “They felt they had to go along with her act so they didn’t scare the kids. It seems she barged into the house as soon as the door opened and acted like she was an old friend. She brought a pineapple upside down cake if you can believe that.”

  “Have they gone to the police?” Christian asked through a mouth full of salad dripping with Ranch dressing—he isn’t a vegetable person.

  “Yes, they went today. I think Liz hoped it would all just go away if she dealt with it on her end. But after last night, they decided they needed to get it all on the record.”

  “Are you protected from these cyber-threats? Should we be taking steps to ensure no one shows up on our front porch with a cake?”

  “I started what I could as soon as I got home. I’ll contact Gabby tomorrow to see what she can advise me on.”

  “Good! Sounds like an expert is needed. And possibly a butterfly net.”

  Christian gathered up the dirty dishes from the table and rinsed them to put in the dishwasher while I covered the leftovers and put them in the fridge. We worked together in harmony. He started the dishwasher, which was the signal we could sit down and relax together. We settled in the living room to watch a British murder mystery. Christian was snoring before I figured out who’d done it.

  ***

  The next morning, I walked upstairs to my office balancing a cup of coffee, my planner and my breakfast, while avoiding the fresh hairball a cat had left in the night.

  While I waited for my laptop to hum to life, I munched on some granola and looked out the window. The sky was just showing its first pink light, and I knew the birds would start their serenade soon. The return of the songbirds was one of my favorite parts of spring.

  Even though every productivity guru on the planet says to never, ever check your email first thing in the morning, I did. My first order of business was to email Gabby to ask her what she knew about cyber-security laws. I knew she would check her email first thing (she didn’t listen to the gurus either) so I shot off a quick email to her. It was only 7:00, and I’d already marked off my first task for the day. A smug smile rose to my lips as I clicked ‘send.’ Take that, productivity gurus!

  The morning flew by with the usual work—writing blog posts, emailing my blog subscribers and writing content for clients. My stomach growled, reminding me it was time to feed it again. I stood up from my desk and stretched. As I walked down the stairs, I spotted the hairball. Sigh… I’d forgotten about it.

  As I cleaned it up, I gave Tommy and Tuppence a stern lecture. They watched me in fascination with innocent faces as though they’d had nothing whatsoever to do with the situation. Cats, I thought, shaking my head. But I had to smile, too. It would be lonely without them here. We’d named them Tommy and Tuppence after Agatha Christie’s Partners in Crime dynamic married duo who’d started their careers as investigators by accident.

  I was munching on an apple with gusto as I read about cyber-security laws in Wyoming when my phone rang. Tommy and I both jumped. Disgusted by my lack of respect for his sleeping schedule, he glared at me, yawned, jumped off the chair and sauntered off. When I picked it up on the third ring, I heard only squawking, like someone was being murdered. I pulled the phone away from my ears so I wasn’t deafened, then heard Liz’s voice, “Guys, take it outside! Jade, you there?”

  “Yes. What was all of that?”

  “The kids playing ball in the house. Ron was playing with them like that last night, so they think it must be okay to do. Honestly, how am I supposed to get them not to do it if he does it?”

  I chuckled, remembering those days. I believed it was in the dad job description to get kids riled up before bedtime.

  “Oh, you won’t believe this, Jade. I’m at my wits end!”

  “What’s happened?”

  “That nut, Connie, showed up at the kids’ school!”

  “What?” I coughed as a piece of apple sticking in my throat.

  “Yeah, the kids came home today from school just like usual. Then a while later while they were having a snack, Jennie told me that my friend came to visit her today. Once we got down to the facts, this ‘friend’ was the lady who had shown up at the house the other night. Jennie wasn’t scared because she thought she was a friend of mommy’s.”

  “I can’t believe she would have the nerve to do that!”

  “Before this happened, Jade, I was scared. Worried about my liability and what could go wrong with the business I’ve worked so hard to build. Now I’m just plain mad! I feel like a lioness that’s ready to protect her young.” Liz’s voice sounded strident.

  “Oh my gosh! What are you going to do, Liz?”

  “Well, Ron’s not home yet, and I decided not to call and interrupt him at work. This is better discussed face to face anyway.”

  “I can come over in 15 minutes to stay with the kids if you want to go over to his work or back to the sheriff’s station.” I could feel my adrenaline kick in. Mothers stick together and when there is a threat to one, there is a threat to all. I’m sure I wasn’t as angry as Liz, but I could feel my ire rising the longer we talked.

  “No, I want to have time to discuss it with Ron. I don’t want to make a move we’ll regret later. At first I was ready to jump in the car to go search for her and tear her limb from limb. Then I realized that although she knows all about me, I know nothing about her. I don’t know where she lives, though it must be in the area somewhere. I don’t even know her last name. It’s a good thing I don’t know where to find her. You’d be moving in to care for the kids while I rotted in a jail cell.”

  She took a big breath and blew it out in my ear. Again, I jerked the phone away. “Anyway, I wanted to ask if you know a good lawyer. Ross recommended we get a lawyer’s take on all this. We talked to one, but I didn’t feel comfortable with him.”

  “Why don’t you call Gabby Langdon? We’ve used her and her father for years, well, even before Gabby finished her law degree, we used Charles. She has the feminine touch and is young and much less doom and gloom than many of the lawyers I’ve met. I’ll call her for you and even go with you if Ron can’t get away. In fact, I emailed her this morning to talk to her about how protected my business is. Like it or not, your situation has me concerned for our vulnerability too.”

  “Oh, would you, Jade? I think I’d be more comfortable with a woman. It may sound sexist, but this is personal, and I feel so exposed. For me, The Wise Housewife isn’t just an income source. It’s something I’ve put my blood, sweat and tears into. You understand.”

  “No problem. I’ll let you know about the appointment. Is there any time that’s more convenient?”

  “I just need to do it while the kids are in school.”

  “Got it. Remember my offer to come over and be with the kids is a standing one. You know me, have laptop, will travel.”

  “I will. Thanks again, Jade.”

  I’d done a good day’s work and had even left my office space organized, ready for work the next day. Humming a made-up tune, I took clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer. Working from home rocked. No commute, no office politics, no students walking unannounced into my office to complain about a grade. Life was good.

  As I poured laundry detergent on top of the dirty clothes now in the washer, I remembered I hadn’t engaged on social media today. Shoot!

  ***

  I wasn’t wishing for fall to replace s
pring soon, but as I bit into an apple the next afternoon, I longed for the crisp, juicy ones that abound during the autumn. I threw the mushy apple into the trashcan under my desk with disgust. That was the third one of this bunch I’d pitched… sigh.

  I finished chewing the disappointing bite as I pulled up my email. I had one from Gabby, so I opened it first. She apologized for the delay, but explained she’d been out of the office the day before. She said the Wyoming laws on cyber-crime hadn’t changed since 2013, but that she could get details and recommendations ready for me by Friday, if I could come in at 11:00. When I called, I got her machine, so I left a message saying that time would work.

  Next, I messaged Geena, my virtual assistant, to let her know about the blog posts I’d finished that morning and asked her to get them ready, but not to schedule them. Now I could help Liz out if she needed it without worrying about the blog. I felt a sense of accomplishment in getting them done. It’s a constant struggle to keep up with content marketing, but a necessary evil.

  My life had gotten much easier since I’d been able to hire Geena. Virtual assistants, or VA’s, are just what they sound like—assistants who work for virtual clients. They do many things from creating images to scheduling social media posts to completing administrative tasks. The backbone of an online entrepreneur’s business—they do the behind-the-scene work that makes it possible for blog owners to do the creative work that puts money in the bank.

  Gabby called later in the afternoon, and after explaining Liz’s situation to her, she agreed to see us both at the same appointment time. I texted Liz to let her know we were on and then got back to work.

  I’d plowed through my MIT (Most Important Tasks) list and was looking forward to closing up early when my phone rang. Shoot! I hoped it wasn’t a client who wanted to add more work to my day. I was ready to relax.

  When I answered, it wasn’t a client, but Liz’s shrill voice I heard.

  “Oh my gosh, Jade! She’s dead! Connie is dead!

  Chapter Three

  “I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. I feel bad, but I’m so relieved. I don’t have to deal with the restraining order or protecting my kids anymore. I’m… well, free.”

  “You’re kidding, Liz! What happened?”

  “Ross doesn’t know a lot yet. He was getting ready to call me to tell me they had found her location from her IP address when he connected her address to an emergency call that came through the switchboard last night. Her name was Connie Payne. She lived in Chesterton, that little burg about 45 minutes from here. Ross said her next - door a neighbor heard her screeching like a banshee and called 911.”

  I hated to burst her balloon, but I had a sinking feeling she wasn’t done with the sheriff. In her excitement, she hadn’t thought it through. Why hadn’t Connie herself called for help? Was it a coincidence she’d died so soon after going to Liz’s kids’ school? So many questions whirled through my mind, but before I could object to her overzealous and premature relief, Liz started talking again.

  “Maybe it was a heart attack or stroke. She wasn’t a spring chicken. Or maybe an aneurism, I don’t know. All I know is that my life can now get back to normal. We don’t even have to talk to the kids about the situation now. Whew! What a relief.”

  There was a pause. “You don’t think I’m a terrible person, do you, Jade? I mean, I know another human’s life is over, but she has just made ours so miserable over the last few months, it’s just, well… a huge relief.”

  “Of course I don’t think you are a horrible person, Liz. It’s human nature. Who wouldn’t be relieved under these circumstances? What does Ron have to say?”

  “Oh, you know him. He doesn’t say much, but from the look on his face, I can tell he feels the same way. I still can’t get over it. As soon as everyone’s out of the house in the morning, I’ll work on a strategy for getting the business back in order and put this whole ugly affair out of my head.”

  “I’m so glad for you, Liz.” I tried to sound enthusiastic, “Should I cancel the appointment with Gabby for tomorrow?”

  “Hmmm. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Let me think about it and talk it over with Ron. I’ll text you later today. Will that work?”

  “Sure. I’d made the appointment for myself anyway, so I’ll go, regardless. I feel like this has been a big wake-up call for me to get more serious about security measures. It might still be a good idea to come along at least to hear what Gabby has to say. But it’s up to you.”

  “You’re right. Obviously, my business has security holes. The last thing I need is for another nut job to infiltrate my system again. Okay, I’ll take that into consideration. It makes sense to do it now since we already have the appointment, and I’m planning to revamp security. I need to know what to look out for. I’ll probably still go, but I will call to confirm later.”

  “Great.” Yet I felt uncertain and surprised I didn’t feel more relief for Liz. Maybe it was just that the cyber-security issue hadn’t been resolved at all. The immediate threat had just disappeared. I still needed to know the same information I had needed before this call. I hoped Liz would come with me and take preventative measures. As I headed downstairs, the old expression popped into my head, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

  ***

  I woke the next morning thinking about Liz, noticing I still had an unsettled feeling about the whole thing. There were just too many unanswered questions. How had Crazy Connie died? I guess it could have been any health issue. We knew nothing about her. Heck, we hadn’t even known her last name until she was dead. She could have had a medical condition that caused her sudden death.

  Even though I was happy for Liz, I had a weird feeling that this wasn’t the end of the matter like she thought it was. I shrugged to myself. Only time would tell. For now I needed to focus on the things I could do something about… like my backlog of work.

  I spent the morning writing for clients and then switched to scheduling client work for the writers I outsourced to. Professor’s Pen had gained enough attention, and along with it, clients, that I’d needed to change the way it operated. I could no longer handle all the work myself, so I subcontracted now to other freelance writers. That grew the business even more. I still do as much of the writing as I can to keep profits high, but it was nice to turn over projects that didn’t interest me to someone else I trusted.

  As I was taking my first bite of sandwich and reviewing my list of upcoming client work, the phone rang. I jumped and almost knocked over my iced tea. I looked at my cell phone screen to see that the caller was Liz. We never talked so much because we were always so busy that it was tough to squeeze in socializing. I sped up my chewing process a little.

  “Hey, what’s up?”

  “Oh, Jade. Ross wants me over at the station in a half an hour. Can you come over and stay with the kids? I wouldn’t ask, but Ron has already missed a lot of work because of all this, and I don’t know who else to call that I trust. We are letting the kids ride the bus again now that… well, you know, but I would still feel better if it were you watching them rather than a neighbor who doesn’t know the situation.”

  While Liz took a big breath to start a new monologue, I interrupted. She didn’t have to “sell” me. I told her I would help out. “Sure, I’ll come over. Did Ross tell you what he wanted to talk to you about?”

  “No, and I’m worried. There’s no way they could’ve gotten forensic tests, or an autopsy done already. And now she’s dead, it wouldn’t seem to matter if I had neglected to add something to my official complaint. What do you think it is, Jade?”

  “I’m sure it’s routine, since they know you’d had trouble with her. Maybe he somehow found out she went to the kids’ school and wants the details since you didn’t bother reporting that incident.”

  “Yeah, maybe.” She didn’t sound convinced and neither was I. The lump in my throat had returned, and I put down the sandwich I had been inhaling when she phoned. Thoug
h it had tasted delicious a minute ago, I didn’t think I could swallow another bite.

  I cleared my throat. “So, when do you need me there?”

  “Not till 3:30. I’ll have a snack all ready for them in the fridge, so all you’ll have to do is give them that and hang out. Ross knows the timing isn’t great and said he’d do his best to make it quick.”

  “Don’t worry, Liz. I’ll bring my laptop with me and if I can’t get any work done, I’ll just play with them.” As the words came out, I forced a smile onto my face, though it felt like more of a wince. “We’ll be fine. You know the kids and I get along great. I’ll tell them you had to run an errand and asked me to hang out with them while you’re gone.”

  “Yes, avoiding the word ‘babysitter’ would be good. They’re already at an age when they feel like they don’t need one.”

  I laughed. “I remember those days well. Don’t worry, Liz. I’ll be there by 3:30.”

  “Thanks again, Jade. I really appreciate it! I owe you supper at least once this is over.”

  “No, you don’t. That’s what friends are for. Now, go get ready, and I’ll see you when you get back. You can tell me all about it over a cup of coffee.”

  “It’s a deal.”

  We hung up on that positive note. What could the police want? Surely they had other people to bring in before Liz. What about family and friends who might know her daily routine? Know what medications she’d been on.

  Pushing my dinner plate aside, I tried to focus again on scheduling client work before I needed to leave to watch the kids. But questions about Crazy Connie’s death kept going round in my head.

  ***

  Since I wouldn’t be able to get a full day’s work done, I decided to at least get some exercise. After filling my Nalgene bottle with cool water and changing clothes, I headed to the shed at the back of the house and maneuvered my bike out, with much swearing and perspiring, might I add. By the time I had gotten the thing out from the back corner of the shed, I was reconsidering the ride. I felt like I had already gotten my exercise. After considering how long it had been since I’d ridden it, I gave myself a mental scolding and made myself get on the bike. And my butt hurt. Why were bike seats always so hard and uncomfortable?