SCARS

by Jaimie Roberts

  How did he get here?

  When he can see that I’m less panicked, he pulls his hand away. “How did you—”

  “I have my ways.”

  My head is confused. Did someone forget to bring the ladder up before we went to sleep? “How did you know?” I ask again, confused. I just can’t believe he’s here. “Am I still dreaming?”

  “No,” he replies, touching my hand. Feeling it cements the fact that this is very real. Only in my waking life could I feel that spark we seem to have between us. “Can you feel it?” he asks, as if reading my mind.

  “Yes,” I reply, breathlessly. “I’m scared.” I want to be truthful. I need him to know that no matter how strange our relationship is, I still feel the fear from my ever-growing feelings for him.

  “I told you that I would never hurt—”

  “That’s not what I meant. I’m scared of the way you make me feel. It’s stupid, I know, but I want to be honest with you. I like the way you make me feel, and it both frightens and bewilders me. I can’t seem to wrap my head around the insanity of all this. Why do I let you in?” I know he realizes I don’t mean in it in the physical sense. I have no say as far as that’s concerned, but I do let him have access to me in other ways that no one else has ever gotten close to.

  Why? I just can’t understand it.

  “Because you are where you belong. I know it, and you feel it in your heart. I am a part of you now.” His words penetrate me in ways I can’t even begin to fathom. I’m trying to fight this, but I can’t.

  “Did you seriously get on a plane and come here … for me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Kiss me,” I request again. And he doesn’t hold back. He leans in, allowing me to hold onto his scent for a fraction of a second. I am consumed by a dire need to have his lips pressed against mine. The hunger surfaces in me like I’m a starving animal. I need to feel him. I’ve missed this so much.

  Grabbing his head, I lurch out of bed, surprising him, and straddle his waist. He, in turn, grabs my hips, pulling me against his hardness. I moan at the feel of him encompassing my body. Fires burn and electric sparks alight. It’s almost as if I’ve been pulled into this strange, magical land where only I and this wizard of a boy exist. I feel the heat rising with every swirl of his tongue with mine and every light touch of his fingers on my skin. I’ll truly be on fire if he doesn’t do something soon, but as I think this, he pulls away.

  “I have to stop,” he says, breathing heavily against my mouth.

  “Why? I’m eighteen now.”

  “Barely, Lily. You only turned eighteen today. I’m not going to push you into doing something just because you’re now of a legal age to do it. That’s not the way it should be.”

  I sigh. “I thought you said I call all the shots.”

  He looks up, sweeping my hair away from my face. “You do. You always do. But don’t ask me to be anything less than a gentleman with you. It’s not the way you should be treated. Your first time should be special. Not on your friend’s boat. Not like this.”

  I can tell by the sound of his voice that there’s just no persuading him. Besides, he pulled the gentleman card on me. How can I possibly push this now? “Okay,” I say reluctantly. It amazes me just how much I’m trying to get us closer. I don’t even know who he is. All I know is how I feel when I’m with him.

  Is that enough?

  A finger trailing down my neck towards my breasts breaks my thoughts. My breath hitches as my heart skips a beat. My God, his touch is just so … so … magical. “It is your birthday, though, and I believe you deserve a little present from me—however small.”

  My mouth goes dry. I try hard to swallow, but my bodily functions suddenly ceased to work the moment his finger touched my skin. “Yes?” I ask in a whisper. I need to know what it is he has planned.

  “Do you trust me now not to hurt you?” His finger trails around my breasts. Oh so close, but not close enough. I want more.

  “Yes,” I whisper again, needing him to do something fast.

  “Yes, what?” he asks in a playful, but commanding tone. For some reason it hits straight between my legs.

  “Yes, please.”

  He leans forward, cupping my breast as he journeys towards me. A small squeal leaves my lips. “Good girl,” he whispers as he swipes his thumb over my nipple. And like the true magician that he is, my head falls back in complete surrender. I close my eyes, reveling in the feel of his hand on my breast. I have dreamed of this moment, but never had I imagined it would feel this good.

  “Lie down.” His voice is so commanding that I naturally do as he asks. Once I’m in position, he carefully pulls the rest of the covers away from me. “Now, I want you to stay very still. Can you do that for me?”

  “Yes,” I instantly reply.

  “Good,” he huskily replies, as he starts to undo my pajama top. Heat resurfaces in my whole body making my heart drum faster than ever. I don’t know what he’s going to do to me, but whatever it is, I wish he would hurry up and do it. I feel like a dam about to burst.

  As he reaches the last button, he pulls the right portion away and then the left. My top half is completely exposed to him now. “Lean forward.” I do as instructed and feel him tug at both sleeves, removing it in one swift, fluid motion. Once he tosses it aside, he kisses my shoulder before gently pushing me back on the bed. “Beautiful.” His voice is like an aphrodisiac. Just that alone has me begging for more.

  Once he’s satisfied that I’m lying still again, he goes to work on my pants. He doesn’t have to ask me to push my ass up. I just do it instinctively. He glides me back down with ease, and I praise myself for having shaved my legs this morning.

  It’s the little things that really matter.

  “So soft,” he says, trailing his fingers down both my legs as he goes. I naturally wriggle beneath him. “Hold still.” His tone is commanding again, but instead of it annoying me, it’s turning me on even more. I instantly do as he asks, and I know that he’s secretly smiling at himself because I gave in to him so easily.

  As he gets to my ankles, he rises off the bed and pulls my pants away completely. He stands at the foot of the bed just drinking me in. How he is, I have no idea. I can hardly see him, so I don’t know how he can he see me. It occurs to me that I am completely naked in front of him, yet he is completely dressed.

  Once he moves forward, I gasp, knowing that whatever he was planning to do, he’s going to do it now. My skin heats, and my heart beats frantically against my chest. He parts my legs, and ever so slowly, he crawls in-between my thighs. I moan, grabbing the sheets. He hasn’t even touched me yet, but somehow, I feel him. He’s everywhere, invading all my senses and driving me wild.

  I fist the sheets together in my hands. Anticipation of his next move is crawling up my spine. He bends down at my thighs and very slowly starts kissing his way up to my hip. I start wriggling, wanting to feel more of him. “Hold still,” he commands again, stopping his journey. I moan, but nod my head and try to keep as still as possible. Once he’s satisfied, he continues his journey up, over my hips towards my belly where he licks around my belly button. I moan again, grabbing a fistful of his hair. He stops immediately. “Be still, I said. Hands by your sides like they were before.”

  My God, this is both frustrating and intense at the same time. I want to touch him, but I know he won’t do whatever he’s planning to unless I behave.

  Shit, what’s wrong with me?

  Without another thought, I place my hand back where it was, and immediately after, he starts kissing his way up to my breasts. He kisses my breasts, but is careful not to go near the one place I want him to. “Please,” I find myself suddenly begging.

  “Please, what?” he asks, kissing around my breasts again. My nipples are rock hard, and it’s almost painful.

  “Please kiss them.”

  “What? These?” he asks, placing his tongue at the tip of my nipple.

  Oh my God, I’m practically
panting with need. “Yes, please. Right there.” He grants my wish, placing my nipple into his mouth. At first he swirls his tongue around it, but then he sucks it, making a sound escape me that I’ve never heard come from me before. “Oh God,” I cry, lifting my hips to seek him out.

  He suddenly stops. “Lily, what did I say?”

  “S–sorry,” I stutter, unable to form words properly. I’ve never felt this dire need to be touched before. It’s both frightening and exhilarating. I try to calm my breathing in an effort to keep still. My skin, however, feels like it’s burning up. I have this need to seek out the cold parts on my bed just so I can cool off. I don’t, though. The need to feel his lips on mine is winning out in my little head game.

  With my chest violently rising and falling, and my body trembling, he goes back to work. But this time, he focuses on my other nipple. I moan out loud again, but this time I will myself not to move. “So beautiful,” he whispers against my nipple. He sucks it again, and again I can’t help the sound that escapes me. “You’re going to have to learn to be quieter than that if you don’t want to wake anybody up.” My body stills at his words. I have completely forgotten about where I am and about those who are only mere feet away from me in the surrounding rooms. “That’s better,” he whispers before diving his head down to my nipples again. For a few more moments, he licks and sucks on them, and it’s working me up into a frenzy. “I wonder how wet you’re going to be now.” He shuffles down a little more, and before I know it, he’s heading down towards my belly again before reaching the insides of my thighs. I tense, wondering what it is he’s going to do next. “I’m not going to hurt you, Lily. I promise.” At his words, I relax, and he rewards me with a soft kiss against my thighs. I want to wriggle. I want to get nearer to him somehow, but I refrain from doing so just in case he stops.

  As I wonder what he will do next, his finger touches the entrance of my sex. I gasp at the alien feeling of a man’s hands somewhere that’s never been touched. “Fuck, Lily, you’re so wet. Do you know how tempting that is?” I hear a sucking sound, and I know from the shadow of him that he’s put his finger into his mouth. “You taste so good … so fucking good. I need more.” I expect him to touch me again with his finger, but instead I feel the swipe of his tongue at my entrance. I cry out. “Shh. People are going to hear you.”

  I pant. “I’m sorry. I just can’t … I mean that just feels—”

  “Shh. Stop talking. Just enjoy this. But don’t move and don’t make too much noise.”

  I take a deep breath, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart, but it’s no use. I’m barely holding on to what little control I have left. All I want to do now is pounce on him.

  Just as I think this, his tongue swipes at my entrance again. He freezes, waiting for me to make a noise, but I don’t. I’m determined to be as quiet as I possibly can.

  “You have a beautiful pussy, Lily. It smells fucking incredible.”

  Does he have to talk to me like that? As if his touch isn’t bad enough!

  “Please,” I whimper again because it’s the only sound my brain will allow me to release right now.

  He doesn’t hesitate. He’s back at my entrance again, but this time he licks up towards my clitoris. I moan, but this time it’s more of a tiny whimper. His tongue starts to lick around my clitoris with relish. It’s almost as if he knows my body already. I’ve never felt anything quite like this before. With his finger placed at my entrance, he carefully slides it inside and starts moving. I want to move my hips. In fact, I’m desperate to, but I don’t. I stay still because I want to feel everything he has to offer. I need it with a passion. As his tongue starts swirling around my clitoris again, my insides start to burn like nothing before. I moan out loud again, not caring that people are asleep right next door. What he’s doing just feels way too good to ignore.

  As he ups the tempo, my whole body starts to tremble. I can feel something building—something magical and monumental. My cheeks flame, and my whole body tenses as a sensation like no other creeps up my spine. “Come for me, Lily,” he urges before going back to lick at my clitoris. As my body tenses, I grab the sheets and let the buildup come naturally. I’m going to come, and it’s going to feel like nothing I have ever imagined or felt before. I have experimented with myself, but this … this is nothing in comparison.

  “J!” I cry as my body reacts to the precipice. My back arches, and with it, my orgasm crashes through me like a tidal wave. I’m riding so high, and yet the urge to cry also overtakes me.

  What the fuck is that?

  I’m feeling the relief of something that has built up so much that my body needs to react by releasing the floodgates. It’s the most surreal feeling ever.

  As my body calms along with my breathing, he takes his time tenderly kissing around my thighs before climbing back up. “I have never heard perfection like that. Do you know how hard it is for me to restrain myself? I’m like a bee, and you’re the sweetest brand of honey.” He kisses my lips gently, and I can taste myself on him. It’s such a weird feeling.

  “How do you manage it?” I am amazed I can still talk after that orgasm.

  “What?”

  “To say and do all the right things. It’s like you know me.”

  “I do know you… And now, I know you very intimately. Do you know how long I have been dreaming of having a taste of you down here?” He places his hand against my mound, making me moan again. “Why, Lily, it would seem you are quite the insatiable one.”

  I smile at his teasing words. “This is so fucked up.”

  He feigns a gasp. “I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you cuss.”

  “Well, I guess an orgasm will do that to you.”

  “Hmm,” he says, leaning down towards my ear. “Then, I can’t wait to hear what you have to say once I bury my cock inside you.”

  My insides burn. Could I be ready like this again so quickly? “I’m ready.” My voice is huskier than I want it to be. I guess he’s right. I am insatiable.

  He places a finger at my lip and starts trailing it back and forth. “As much as I would love to find out just how ready you are, I will have to decline your offer. You’ve just come under my tongue, so you would probably be willing to turn cartwheels if I asked you to. I want you to be one hundred percent sure before we go any further.”

  I giggle. “Cartwheels?”

  “Yes, but don’t make fun of me.” Despite his admonishment, I can still sense the smile in his voice. “Besides,” he says, grabbing my hand. “I think you need to think very long and hard about this. Don’t make a snap decision.” He places my hand at his crotch, and I instantly feel his hardness. I gasp at how big he feels. “Do you still want me to fuck you?”

  I’m all of a sudden in a state of flux. One half of me is burning to find out if I can take him, but the other half is scared shitless that he’ll break me in two. “Yes.” The word is out before my brain engages.

  He starts to laugh softly. “Our time will come, but not here and not tonight.” He kisses my lips softly before pulling away. “You will be able to take me. As wet as you are now I’ll slide in perfectly. That’s how wet I’m going to make you once I take you. Do you understand, Lily?”

  “Yes,” I whisper, still wanting him like that. I want to feel what’s it’s like to have him slide into me.

  As I try to make out his face, he leans in and kisses me, but this time there’s more to the kiss. It’s almost possessive.

  And I love it.

  In an instant, I am caught up in his spell, wishing he would take me with him to that magical land he always seems to disappear to. I am completely lost in him again—forgetting who I am, where I am, and why this is so crazy that anyone would be lost for words. My parents would have an absolute fit if they knew what I was doing now.

  His kiss deepens as he positions himself on top of me. I can feel his hardness digging into me again, but instead of it frightening me, it only makes me want more of him. His hand tr
ails up my thigh and around my hips before cupping my breast. As he swipes his thumb over my nipple again, I moan, lifting my hips towards him. I hear his growl reverberate through me, making my own need for him climb. Does he feel it too? This dire need to have more? I so hope that he does.

  As the kissing continues, I trail my hands from his shoulders down to his back. I can feel the contours of his body, and he feels incredible. He obviously works out because when he flexes, I can feel just how taught and strong his muscles are. Like the animal I feel I’ve become, I scratch down his back and feel him arch up, making his hips dig into me even more. I groan once I hear him moaning. He tastes incredible, smells incredible, and feels incredible.

  But just as I think he’s going to go further, he pulls away, leaving us both panting and breathless. I hear him laugh and feel him shake his head as if in amused exasperation. “You’re too much. Do you know that?” I am about to ask him to show me just how much when he kisses my lips again, halting the very idea of the words that I was about to say from leaving my lips. He abruptly pulls away again, and I’m transfixed as he gently strokes my cheek with his warm fingers. “Time’s up, Beautiful,” he whispers before getting up from the bed.

  I watch—my mouth agape—as he calmly strolls towards the door, opens it, and closes it behind himself. It happens so quickly that my brain doesn’t have enough time to process the fact that he is leaving me again. He didn’t even check to see if anyone was outside first.

  I sit up, pulling the covers back over me and shake my head as I stare at the door. I don’t know why I’m suddenly staring at it. It’s not like it’s going to break out into a song and start dancing for me. He’s gone, and I know he’s not coming back. At least not on this boat and not for a while now.

  As I slink back onto the bed, I think about today and everything that has happened. Just before I went to sleep, I wished that my stranger was here so that he could kiss me. It seems my wish was granted … in more ways than one. I smile, stretching my legs out. I have never felt so relaxed and calm in all my life.