by Melissa Hill
Kim’s stomach twisted at the statement. She knew Annie hadn’t meant anything callous by it, but still the words had been uttered, and while Colette tried to hide the effect they had on her, Kim had seen the hurt flash in her eyes.
‘Excuse me a moment,’ she mumbled. ‘In all the excitement, I forgot to call Ed when I got in. I’ll be back in a bit.’
Kim watched as she hurried off into the hotel building, wondering if she should go after her to check if she was OK. But then she saw her raise her mobile phone to her ear and figured there was little point in interrupting her conversation with Ed.
‘Why did you say that?’ she whispered harshly to Annie, who looked duly pained.
‘It just came out, I didn’t mean it. You know I wouldn’t hurt Colette, it’s just … she doesn’t really understand what it is to be a parent. She’s used to having children that she can give back when they misbehave, but you can’t give back your own child, you know that.’
‘Still, it was a bit mean, considering.’
‘I know. I’ll apologise when she comes back. I was just a bit frustrated, and tired after the journey, maybe,’ Annie admitted.
‘What’s really going on?’
‘Nothing.’ But her eyes turned to her and Kim could see the conflict in them. She waited for her friend to explain as the sound of Charlie splashing continued in the background.
‘Things are a little … stressful just now,’ Annie admitted finally. She gave a dispirited grin. ‘For starters, it not always easy being a single mother.’
‘I can imagine. But I still don’t know why you refused to ask his father for help. It could’ve made life so much easier.’
‘I doubt that. Anyway, Charlie and I are just fine on our own.’
‘It’s not just Charlie, though, is it? Something else is on your mind.’
Annie shook her head. ‘I’d almost forgotten who I’m talking to. Always Miss Perceptive.’
‘And you’re always Miss Stubborn. What gives?’
‘It’s nothing – honestly.’ Whatever was going on, Annie clearly wasn’t ready to tell her. Or maybe she never would be. ‘Anyway, I am who I am.’
‘I know, and that’s why I don’t understand this attitude.’
‘Hey, Kim, give it a rest, OK? You have always got whatever you wanted. Always. You’ve never had to struggle with anything a day in your life. You have a super successful business, a gorgeous husband and a beautiful daughter, with your big California house, millions in the bank, and now the villa, your crowning glory. What exactly is it about your life that could possibly equip you to understand mine?’
With that, Annie stood up and stormed off to the other side of the pool, where she grabbed a towel and urged Charlie to get out of the water.
What the hell was that? Kim thought, reeling as she sat alone, three abandoned, half-finished cocktails on the table in front of her, debating whether she should try to rescue the situation with Annie, who seemed to have flown off the handle for no apparent reason. Clearly something was going on with her, but in time-honoured Annie fashion, she was insistent on rowing her own boat. And she had already said she was tired after the flight, so perhaps Kim would only worsen things by pushing it and making her even more irritable.
And it wasn’t as if she didn’t have enough problems to deal with.
She sighed heavily. This reunion was supposed to be a happy time, reliving fond memories of the summer the three of them had shared, and reaffirming their friendship.
Yet another example of Kim’s grand plans going awry.
Chapter 51
Now
Later that evening the three friends and Charlie reconvened at La Cambusa in Positano. The streets were bustling and the lights of the town were bright, reflecting like stars on a dark ocean. Located by the water’s edge, the restaurant had been one of their old haunts and a lively local favourite.
Charlie ordered marinara pizza while the others enjoyed freshly caught seafood. The conversation was lively, and the discomfort of earlier seemed to dissipate with the change of venue.
It was impossible not to feel uplifted here on the Amalfi Coast, Colette thought.
The air was cool and the smell of the ocean crisp around them. The restaurant was full, but not overly packed, each table occupied by smiling faces of families and friends gathering together to enjoy time with one another.
Envy wasn’t something she was plagued by often, but as Colette sat watching Charlie and Annie interact, she couldn’t help but feel that loathsome emotion.
She wanted a child so badly the hurt was visceral. Why was she denied when it had come so easily to Annie? A drunken mistake during which she neglected to use contraception, apparently, and she was pregnant.
How many nights had there been for Colette over the years? How many tests and needles and prayers and still nothing? Would she forever be denied the only thing she truly ever wanted in life?
A cool breeze blew in off the water, chilling her exposed arms. She rubbed them gently. She always got colder more easily than others. It had been the same the last time she’d visited this particular restaurant, though the company had been different.
‘This place really brings back memories,’ she commented absently.
‘That’s why I so wanted you two to be here.’ Kim placed one hand on her arm and the other on Annie’s. ‘It just wouldn’t feel right to take this next step without you both. You guys changed my life for the better, and for that, I’m eternally grateful.’
‘Oh stop, everything you’ve done has been entirely down to you – we just happened to be here at the start,’ Colette assured her with a smile. ‘And I suppose it was a life-changing trip for us all in a way.’ She glanced from Kim to Annie and then Charlie.
‘Yep, life-changing all right,’ Annie grunted. ‘At least you two landed on your feet,’ she added with some bitterness, and Colette glanced at her son, hoping he didn’t pick up on anything untoward.
But no, Charlie was immersed in his meal, oblivious to the conversation.
‘Is everything ready for the party?’ she asked Kim, hoping to change the subject. ‘Do you need help with anything?’
‘No, I think we’re good.’ She grimaced. ‘Thank God the caterer managed to sort a replacement in the end. Barring any other last-minute hiccups,’ she added, crossing her fingers.
‘Ah, of course all will work out fine,’ Annie muttered darkly and took a swig of her wine.
Colette inhaled deeply. ‘Smell that?’
‘The sea?’ Kim asked as she turned in the direction of the water only a few feet away from where they sat.
‘I really miss it,’ she commented. ‘I grew up by the water, as you know, but in London everything’s smog and exhaust engines.’
‘Maybe you should move out of the city,’ Annie commented, chucking back her wine far too fast for Colette’s liking.
The thought was tempting, though, and Colette would’ve been lying if she said it hadn’t crossed her mind several times, but it was never the right moment to bring it up with Ed.
Not to mention that he had his career, friends, and family – his entire life in London. She knew he wouldn’t want to move.
‘It might be good for a few reasons,’ Kim agreed. ‘A change of pace and scenery is always good. Look what it did for us.’
‘I can’t see Ed moving,’ Annie said then, which Colette thought was an odd comment, given she didn’t really know him. ‘Ah, you know what I mean,’ she sputtered, obviously sensing she’d spoken out of turn. ‘The English can be a bit set in their ways.’
‘Ed’s not like that,’ Colette defended. ‘He’s very open to change, and very flexible about things; probably more than I am, actually.’
Again, Annie topped up her wine glass.
‘Are you OK to drink that much when –’ Colette cocked her head at Charlie – ‘you know …’
But by the look on her friend’s face, she wished she hadn’t said anything.
‘Wha
t? You’re trying to suggest I’m a lush now?’
‘Sorry … I just … I—’
‘Come on, she’s on holiday,’ Kim laughed lightly, topping up all their glasses, though Colette could hear the strain in her voice as she tried to keep the conversation going. ‘Actually, I think a toast is in order …’ But the rest of the sentence trailed off with the ping of an alert on her phone. And by the look on Kim’s face when she saw the display, Colette knew it was important.
‘Sorry, I need to make a quick call …’
Silence fell over the table as Kim moved away, and Charlie continued to savour his pizza as if it was his last meal.
Annie was smiling tipsily at the waiter, and indeed any other handsome male in the restaurant who happened to catch her eye. Some things never changed.
Did she ever want to settle down, Colette wondered, or was she still content to play the field all the time? It didn’t make sense in her mind. Surely it was better to have someone you were sure about, than a trail of random guys you could never commit to – especially with a young child in tow.
But then again, she and Annie were so different. She always marched to her own tune.
Colette only hoped that along the way her friend would find the happiness she deserved and that Charlie would eventually have a more stable family unit than his mother did growing up.
‘I need to stretch my legs,’ she said, getting to her feet. ‘I think I’ll take a little walk along the pier before ordering dessert.’
‘Suit yourself,’ Annie replied. ‘I think I’ll stay here and have another glass of vino – if that’s OK with you,’ she asked pointedly, and Colette noticed that while her mouth was smiling her eyes weren’t.
Why was she so cool with her? Was it still because of what she’d said earlier at the pool? Colette didn’t think her remark was that out of order, but clearly it was for Annie. She’d better mind her own business in future.
‘Can I get dessert, Mum?’ Charlie asked through a mouthful of pizza.
‘’Course you can, pet. We’re on holiday.’
‘OK, well, I’ll be back in a bit. Kim’s still preoccupied with her call. Whatever it is must be important. Tell her I’ll be back shortly.’
‘Grand.’
There was something so wonderfully eternal about this place, Colette mused as she strolled along the promenade on her way down to the steps.
As much as it had changed, it had remained the same. Large grey stone bricks marked the walk from the edge of the promenade all the way up to the coastline. The restaurant’s façade was of similar stone and understated compared to the other more colourful buildings that lined the street, but it didn’t detract from its character.
Tonight the little bay at Spiaggia Grande was filled with boats, mostly small local fishing craft, interspersed with a few bigger yachts.
She soon found herself on the jetty that extended into the bay. The area was even more crowded with evening diners, but the sea breeze was stronger too, keeping everyone cool.
Colette strolled at a leisurely pace. The last time she’d been here she hadn’t been alone. There Luca was again, finding his way into her thoughts as he had so many times over the years, and even more so since Kim had sent the invite.
It wasn’t right, she kept telling herself. She was married. And chances were he was too, so why was he in her head like this?
Why was she actively seeking out the paths they had walked together and thinking of those times: the way he held her hand, the smell of his aftershave as he pulled her close to shield her from the chill of the wind. The way his strong arms encircled her and the feeling of his skin against her cheek as they stared at the stars and talked about their dreams.
Colette wrapped her arms around herself as she leaned against the rail and looked out over the water.
She couldn’t help the smile that crept across her face as she remembered the night Luca had taken her out on his boat. She could still see it like it was yesterday, the town lit up as if it were on fire, soft light illuminating every building etched into the mountainside, the archways and doorways clearly visible, the colours creating an artistic impression.
It had been such a magical night. Being with him then had done something for Colette that nothing else before ever had – given her confidence.
He’d listened to her – really listened, not to correct her or tell her that her views were naïve, but because he actually cared about what she thought and how she felt. It had been such a novelty. Up until then she’d spent her life blending in. Which of course was why it was at first so difficult to understand why someone like him would notice her. Why she, out of everyone, had gotten his attention.
Because you were a tourist, you idiot. Another easy fly-bynight target. You were nothing special.
But that wasn’t strictly true either, Colette assured herself now. Ed, too, had considered her special back then – and still did. Yes, at first he’d merely been her knight in shining armour, offering her a shoulder to cry on after Luca had let her down, but he had turned out to be so much more than that, and he’d especially been a tremendous comfort to her after her mother died.
Things happened for a reason.
Still, despite the circumstances of her last visit to the Amalfi Coast, and the entirely new direction her life had taken since, Colette was struck by the notion that being back here truly felt like coming home.
Chapter 52
Now
While Colette was off wandering, and Kim was waylaid on the phone, Annie was left to silently drown her sorrows in dessert and wine.
‘Are you OK, Mum?’ Charlie asked. ‘You look so sad.’
Annie hadn’t realised she’d lost herself so entirely to her thoughts. She slapped a smile on her face as she looked back at him.
‘I’m grand,’ she assured him, ‘just a bit tired after all the travelling today. You finished your gelato?’
‘Yes, but I want more.’
She laughed. He was growing faster than a weed in spring and had a healthy appetite, but that was his second gelato. ‘Ah, I think you’ve had enough now. We don’t want you buzzing on too much of a sugar rush on your first night,’ she teased.
He grinned happily. ‘It’s just so nice, though. I love Italy already.’
Feeling pleasantly buzzed herself, Annie sipped her drink and fondly tucked a lock of her son’s hair away from his forehead.
‘Where’s Colette?’ Kim asked, reappearing alongside them.
‘She went for a walk. She should be back soon.’
‘Everything all right between you two?’ she asked cagily. ‘I noticed a bit of an … edge.’
Annie sighed. ‘I know – I was probably a bit hard on her over the wine thing. But she sounded so … sanctimonious about my drinking in front of Charlie. What the hell does she know about it?’
‘Exactly. But if you don’t mind my saying so, you seem particularly touchy. Understandable after the travel but maybe just try and keep it in check a little – at least till after the launch, pretty please? I’ve got enough on my plate at the moment without the guests going at it.’
Annie chuckled, feeling bad now. ‘You’re right. I’m sorry. What’s going on now? Another problem?’
Kim rolled her eyes. ‘It never ends.’
‘It was good to see Gabe earlier,’ Annie said. ‘He looks hot. You really did land on your feet there, Kim.’ She picked up her glass. ‘Then again, what else is new?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Nothing, it’s just … he’s a great guy – you’re really lucky to have him.’
‘I need to go. Why don’t we see if we can find Colette?’ Kim suggested, but by her tone Annie knew that despite her dismissal, she’d somehow managed to piss her off, too.
‘You go ahead, I think I’ll just finish the wine.’
‘All right, I’ll be back in a few,’ Kim stated tersely as she got to her feet again and disappeared after Colette.
Once again, Annie felt
like the outsider. Colette and Kim had always had way more in common with each other than she did with either of them, yet the three had managed to mesh so well the last time they were here.
But since then their lives had diverged completely, so much to the point that they shared little to no common ground now.
Regret wasn’t something Annie subscribed to normally, but right then she was beginning to regret her impulsive decision to come back here, and worse, to bring Charlie with her.
‘Mum?’ he mumbled then and she could hear the fatigue in his voice before she saw it in his face. He’d had a long day; they both had.
‘Hey, come here,’ she beckoned, pulling him up onto her lap. He snuggled against her collarbone. ‘We’ll head back to the hotel soon.’
‘I’m tired,’ he whined.
‘I know, love.’ She stroked his hair. ‘The others will be back soon and then we’ll go. Close your eyes.’
A little later she saw his hand reach for the hem of his shirt – a tell-tale sign that he was about to drift off. Charlie, for as long as she could remember, had always done the same thing to soothe himself to sleep. He’d take the hem of his shirt and suck on it when he was a toddler; as he got older he grew out of that and instead persisted in scrunching the hem into oblivion in his hand until sleep claimed him.
A few minutes later Colette and Kim reappeared at the table.
‘Aw, is he sleeping?’ Colette cooed, her face softening at the sight.
‘Just dozing.’
‘I’ll bring the car round.’ Kim took the keys out of her bag and headed back out to where she’d parked.
‘They can sleep anywhere, can’t they?’ Colette commented, as she settled back into her seat.
‘Especially this one,’ Annie answered, smiling fondly. As Colette’s gaze lingered longingly on her sleeping child, she remembered she had an apology to make.
‘Hey, I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. I didn’t mean to upset or hurt you in any way. I was just shooting my mouth off; you know me, I say whatever’s on my mind and don’t always think about how it’ll affect others. And I was a bit tired and cranky in the heat, too. I would never hurt you on purpose. You know that, don’t you?’
