by Lori L. Otto
It’s probably the perfect time to call Kelly back in New York, though. I pull out the phone and dial her number, taking a long sip before she answers.
“Hey, Jacks, what’s up?”
“Hi, Kell. Is this a bad time?”
“Not at all... kids are all in bed.”
“Good. How are they?”
“They miss you,” she tells me. “They’re demanding you come out to the house the second you get back.”
“Well, I miss them, too.”
“So, how’s business?” she asks.
“Good. The meetings have been great. Very productive. This will probably be a yearly thing, so that’s cool. Not a bad business expense.”
“Maybe you can take me next year,” she laughs. “But Emi couldn’t make it, I heard?”
“No, but actually, I just got back from a short stay with her in New York.”
“What?” she asks. “Why?”
“I surprised her for her birthday,” I tell her, sighing.
“Uh-oh,” she responds, sensing my mood. “Is everything okay?”
“It will be.” I hesitate, taking another sip.
“What’s going on?”
“Well... while I was there, she told me she can’t have children,” I tell her, an audible gasp escaping her lips.
“What?” she asks, surprised. “How long has she known that?”
“She just had a doctor’s appointment right before I left.”
“What’s wrong?”
“There’s apparently a lot of scar tissue from the accident... she said three different doctors confirmed the diagnosis. Too much damage was done, apparently.”
“What? I can’t believe it... Jacks...” she sounds so disappointed... and it hurts to hear it. My stomach quivers at the lingering thought of telling my parents... still not looking forward to that conversation.
“Yeah,” I concur. “I don’t want anyone else to know, Kell, but she was actually pregnant when the accident happened. She lost the baby... she just told me about that right when we started seeing each other more seriously... she wanted kids very badly... especially since she lost that one.”
“Jacks...” she lingers again.
“I know, Kell, I know.”
“What are you going to do?”
“The only thing I can do,” I tell her. “I’m in this, for better or worse...”
“Well, this is pretty bad. And for the record, you haven’t exchanged those vows yet,” she tells me.
“But we will. I love her, more than anything. You know that.”
“I guess there are options,” she adds. “You can adopt, right?”
“That’s the plan. We’ll work through it.”
“Jacks, I’m so sorry,” my sister says, attempting to comfort me. “You are going to be the greatest father. You have to be. It would be such a waste if you didn’t have children, raise some on your own.”
“Please don’t say that... that it would be a waste... I would never consider my life with Emi to be a waste, children or not.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry...”
“We always have your kids, and her niece and soon-to-be nephew... we’ve got a great extended family, so if nothing else...”
“Will that really be enough for you, Jacks?”
“It has to be,” I sigh. “It may be all we have. Honestly, Kell, a life without children is still a better option than a life without her,” I tell my twin, the thought of Emi making my stomach flip. “She’s everything. Twice, I lost her, by no fault of my own, and it crushed me. I would never make the choice to lose her a third time. That simply will not happen.”
“You sound pretty certain of that.”
“I am. I love her.”
“Okay,” she says, her smile audible. “Jacks, she is so lucky to have you. I hope she knows that.”
“I think we both feel that way about each other. But I’ll make sure I remind her.” We both laugh.
“If there’s anything I can do for you, you know I’m here for you... for you both. If she needs anything while you’re gone, let her know she can call me anytime.”
“Thanks, Kell. She’s supposed to fly out Thursday. We’re going to the Canary Islands on Friday morning.”
“Wow, that sounds nice... was this already planned?”
“Elaborately, actually,” I admit. “I was going to propose.”
“You were going to?”
“Yeah... I’m not sure now’s the time.”
“So you are having second thoughts...”
“Not at all,” I assure her. “I just think she may think I’m just reacting to the news... or overreacting... overcompensating, I don’t know. I just don’t know how she’d take it right now.”
“It might reassure her,” she encourages.
“Yeah, maybe...” My thoughts linger. “But I just want the proposal to be happy, to be what it is, a proposal of marriage, a request to spend the rest of my life with her... and not a Band-Aid to patch what’s not perfect right now... I don’t want her to have any doubts of what it is... and I don’t think now’s the time. But I’m going to play it by ear...”
“Okay,” she says.
“I just want us to be in better frames of mind when the time comes. I want to be back to where we were before we found out this news.”
“Do you ever think you’ll get back there?”
“I think we’ll get close,” I tell her, confident. “With time.”
“I hope you do, Jacks. And you can borrow the kids anytime. In fact, I’ll just bring them with me when we pick you up from the airport on Monday and drop them off at your place, okay?”
“Uh, no,” I laugh. “I’ll need a few days to get back to my regularly scheduled life... but I’ll let you know.”
“Alright,” she says. “Anything you need, Jacks, I’m here.”
“I know, Kell. Thanks. I’m going to call Matty now... probably too late to call Mom and Dad.”
“Have you talked to Stevie?”
“I have not... I tried to call him before I left, but he hasn’t returned the call.”
“He’s probably wrapped up in his new fiancé role, you know...”
“I’m sure. We’ll be fine, I’m sure.”
“I know. Well, call me this weekend, if you have time.”
“I will.”
“And if you do decide to propose, get down on one knee...”
“Alright, thanks for the tip.”
“Love you, Jacks.”
“You, too, Kell. Bye.” I grab a bottle of water before dialing my oldest brother. His partner answers.
“Hey, Lucas, is Matty there?”
“Well, hi to you too, Jacks. No ‘how are you?’ No nothing?”
“I’m sorry, Luc... a lot on my mind. How are you?”
“I’m fine, is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “Can you put Matty on speaker or something? I want to just let you both in on something.”
“Are you proposing?” he excitedly jumps to conclusions.
“Someday, but that’s not what this is about... speaker? Matty?”
“Sorry, Jacks, sure.” He yells out to my brother to join him and puts the phone on speaker mode.
“So, guys. I just wanted to let you know that Em and I got some bad news the other day.”
“What?” my brother asks.
“Because of the amount of scar tissue left by the accident, she can’t have children.” They’re both silent. “Say something.”
“I don’t even know what to say, Jacks,” Matty responds. “I am so sorry. How is she?”
“She’s pretty upset... she’s known for weeks, but she just told me yesterday when I flew in to surprise her for her birthday.”
“Oh, my god, that poor thing!” Lucas exclaims.
“Yeah, it’s going to be hard... but this doesn’t change anything between us... but I wanted you two to know.”
“Well, you know, Renee works for an agency t
hat helps pregnant teenagers,” Matthew says. “We’ve talked to her before about adoption... she would be a good resource, if that’s what you decide to do.”
“I forgot about that,” I tell him. “Maybe we’ll give her a call after we sort through things a little more... get used to the idea.”
“I know you two will be fine,” Lucas says. “You’re meant to be with each other. She is so in love with you, Jacks. One night in Vail, she just went on and on...”
“That was the night you got her drunk...”
“Well, yes, but that’s when the real truth comes out,” he laughs.
“We’re here to support you, Jacks,” my brother says. “We love you both. You know that. She’s already family... make it official soon, okay?”
“I will, I promise. Listen, it’s too late to call Mom and Dad, so don’t say anything if you talk to them before I do.”
“We won’t,” they assure me.
“Bring us back something from Spain!” Lucas calls out.
“Alright. Have a good night, guys. I’ll call you when I get back.”
“Good night, Jacks.”
I call Emi next, hoping she’s still awake.
“Hello?” she answers.
“Hey, love.”
“Hi, Jack.” I can tell she’s smiling, her voice much less nasally than it’s been in weeks.
“How are you feeling?”
“Relieved,” she says. “Jack, I am so sorry I didn’t tell you before you left... I was just so worried... and I should have known... should have known you better than that.”
“Yes, you should have,” I agree. “But, Emi, it’s okay. In the future, though... just out with it, okay? Don’t be afraid to tell me anything... anything at all. No more secrets.”
“Okay, then, where am I going on Thursday?”
“Madrid,” I tell her.
“You said we weren’t staying there.”
“Oh, that. It’s a secret.”
“But you said–”
“Now, Em... I get one, okay? Let’s be fair,” I reason with her, joking. “This is it. No more after this one.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t seem fair. What if I pack wrong? Then what?”
“It would be tragic, yes, dear,” I tell her, “but they do have stores where we’re going.”
“So no deserted island?”
“Mmmmmm... no.”
“Island?” she asks.
“I’m not talking about this anymore with you.”
“It is an island,” she taunts me playfully.
“Emi, I... stop... I’m changing the subject.”
She giggles. “You suck at secrets.”
“Well, that should please you, then. It’s an island, that’s all I’m saying.”
“Very nice. But we’re meeting in Spain?”
“Yes, I’ll be waiting for you at the airport.”
“Awesome. I cannot wait.”
“Me, neither. I can’t wait to see you.”
“Did you talk to your parents?” she asks me.
“No, it was too late to call. I told Kelly and Matty today, though... it wasn’t easy, but they’re supportive of us.”
“I knew they would be,” she says. “You have a great family.”
“We both do. Listen, I need to go get ready for my meetings. You’ll be okay?”
“I’m great,” she says.
“Good. Go get some sleep. You’ll need it.”
“Will I?” she asks flirtatiously. I laugh out loud.
“Jet lag, Emi, is what I was talking about.”
“Oh,” she laughs back. “Just jet lag?”
“Emi, go to sleep.”
“Good night, Jacks.”
“Good night, Poppet. I’ll see you... tomorrow morning.”
After the meetings, I call Stevie back before settling in for a nap. Emi will be here in a little over twelve hours. I can’t wait. My youngest brother has left two messages during the day. I can only assume he has spoken with one of our siblings.
“Steven, what’s going on?”
“Jacks, hey, man. You still in Spain?”
“Yeah... what’s up?”
“I, uh, man, I just want to apologize...” he stutters.
“For?”
“For Vail... you know, for being an ass to Emi... and you... I know it was uncalled for.”
“Yes, it was, but it’s already forgotten. Don’t worry about it.”
“Man... I talked to Matty this morning.” I wait silently for him to continue. “He told me about her... that she can’t have children.”
“Yeah, well, we’re working through that.”
“I’m really sorry.”
“It’s alright. It’s all going to work out,” I assure him.
“You know, Renee has some connections to adoption agencies and things like that. She works with a lot of pregnant girls who want to have their babies adopted by good parents.”
“Yeah, Matty reminded me of that. If that’s the route we decide to take, we may call on her to–”
“Well, I just thought you guys might want to come down and talk to her. Why don’t you make a trip to Texas? Come spend a few days with us... you can talk to Renee... I can show your girlfriend I’m not a complete jerk.”
“She knows you’re not,” I tell him. “But we’d both appreciate a little groveling.”
“Whatever,” he laughs. “Will you come?”
“I’m a little anxious to be home for awhile, but sure... we’ll plan a trip to come down there. I’ll see her tonight, so we’ll talk about it this weekend. I mean, it’s too soon to start looking into adoption, but I think it would be nice if we could see what the options are beforehand.”
“Yeah, and Renee would just like to see you guys anyway.”
“Well, I appreciate the invitation. And the apology.”
“Are you going to propose soon?”
“Jeez,” I joke. “You are an impatient bunch!”
“I just assumed... didn’t you plan some elaborate getaway?”
“I did, but I’m not sure this is the right time.”
“Sure it is!” he encourages. “Just go for it.”
“Alright, Stevie, I need to get some sleep. My schedule’s all messed up this week.”
“Okay. Call me when you get back to New York. We can figure out the details.”
“Sounds good. Tell Renee I said hello... and thank you.”
“I will. Bye.”
“Bye.”
I go to bed shortly after Emi calls from the airport in New York. The alarm goes off at six o’clock local time, and I anxiously get up, get ready, grab my luggage and take a cab to the airport.
She looks tired when she gets off of the plane, but grins widely at first sight of me across the room. We meet halfway in the middle.
“You look amazing,” she tells me.
“Thanks, you, too. I’m so glad you decided to come, Emi.”
She hugs me tightly before I can remember to adjust the ring box in my pocket, which is now jabbing me in the rib cage. Instinctively, I pull back and laugh nervously. I try to defer her attention with a kiss instead, hoping that she didn’t feel the trinket. It seems to have worked.
“Where are your things?” she asks.
“Already on the plane. Let’s go get yours,” I suggest.
We hold hands on the way to baggage claim, and as we wait for her bags around the turnstile, she leans sleepily into my body. I pull her into me, enveloping her in both arms.
“Those are mine,” she mumbles, pointing at her luggage. “The green tapestry ones.” The man standing next to me, unbeknownst to Emi, picks up her bags. She becomes alert. “No, those are mine,” she says louder.
“That’s Javier... he’s with us, Em,” I tell her. “It’s okay. Are those the only two?”
She looks up at me and smiles, a self-satisfied grin. “I did my best to not overpack.”
“Four days, two bags... not bad.” She hits my chest playfully.
/>
The man takes her bags and leads us out a side door at the airport to a small runway.
“You’re kidding me,” Emi says as she sees a smaller plane waiting for us.
“What, the jet? No. It’s just easiest... and I didn’t have to worry about any flight delays, the threat of us missing a flight, you know...”
“Right, okay.”
“Plus, I figured you’d need some room to spread out, coming off that eight-hour flight... I promise, it’s exceedingly practical. Take it from someone who’s missed a few important flights.”
“But this is a pleasure trip,” she says.
“But it’s an important flight to me,” I counter.
She is quiet as she ascends the stairs, and turns around before letting me on the plane behind her. “Me, too,” she states.
“Good. Go pick your seat.”
“Or bed,” she comments, seeing a bedroom through a door just beyond the leather seating area.
“If you’d like,” I offer.
“Yeah, that’s about right. My first flight on a private jet and I’m just going to sleep it away.”
“Who said anything about sleeping?” That comment earns me another playful slap, this time across my arm. “I’m just kidding. No mile-high club today.” She raises her eyebrows as if considering the idea. “Kidding, Em... have a seat.”
I take off my jacket and drape it over the chair closest to the door, out of the way but in constant view so I can keep an eye on it. God, I hope she didn’t feel it. I just want it to be a surprise.
She wanders around the plane, and I decide to sit down on the couch, waiting for her to settle in next to me. The pilot comes to introduce himself shortly after Emi curls up on the couch, leaning into me.
“Yo soy el capitán Suárez,” he says, extending his hand to me.
“Soy Jack, y esta es mi novia, Emi.” The captain takes her hand and kisses the back of it, causing her to blush.
“El tiempo de vuelo será de aproximadamente dos horas y cuarenta y cinco minutos,” he tells me. “Si necesitas algo, Javier puede conseguirlo para usted. ¿Quieres algo para desayunar esta mañana?”
Emi looks at me, confused, as the captain returns to the cockpit.
“He says the flight will take about two hours and forty-five minutes,” I tell her. “He’d like to know if you want anything for breakfast.”
