One More Time

by Shawn Lane

  There was a chill in the air, which was fairly typical for March in Vermont, but at least there didn’t appear to be any snow, and the sun was out. About halfway to Northfield, Hank pulled into a parking lot of a restaurant I didn’t remember from my last time there. Of course I hadn’t been back to Vermont since I left at sixteen. I was sure a lot had changed.

  It was one of those family-type restaurants where you could get anything from pancakes to pizza.

  “This seems nice,” I said as I followed them inside and up to the hostess.

  “It’s my favorite place, Uncle Dane,” Alex told me.

  I smiled. “Then I am sure I’ll love it.”

  As the hostess led us around a corner and to a table, I saw him. I froze, simply staring at him sitting in a booth across from some woman with long red hair. I could only see the back of her head. He was older, of course. So was I. But I would have known that dark hair, those piercing dark eyes, that strong jaw, anywhere. My gut clenched.

  “Dane?” Emily called after me with a frown. They’d arrived at our table, and I was still standing in the middle of the restaurant staring at Theo Mason.

  Then just like that, Theo noticed me and took his attention off the face of his dinner companion to stare right back at me. I saw tension on his face the instant he recognized me.

  It just had to figure that I hadn’t been in Vermont even an hour, and staring me in the face was one of the main reasons I left in the first place. I shouldn’t have come back. What the hell had I been thinking?

  “Dane!” Emily said louder. She began walking back toward me, and I realized I needed to stop causing a scene in the middle of a damn restaurant.

  Besides, did I really want him to know ten years later he still had the power to hurt me?

  I plastered on a smile and met my sister halfway to the table.

  “What’s the matter with you?” she asked in a loud whisper.

  “Nothing. Just saw someone I recognized. No big deal.”

  “Who?”

  “Theo Mason.”

  “Theo? Oh, I didn’t know you knew him that well.”

  I resisted the urge to snort. “Yeah, well. Let’s just have our dinner.”

  I sat between the twins and chose chicken fingers and onion rings for dinner, though I knew Donald would never have approved of all that fried food. But eating healthy hadn’t saved him. And just like that the loss of Donald weighed heavily on me to the point that I could barely follow the chatter from Emily and her family.

  “Uncle Dane,” Annie said in a tone that told me she’d been trying to get my attention for some time.

  “What is it, sweetheart?”

  “Hi, folks.” A deep male voice spoke from the opposite end of the table from where I sat.

  Theo.

  Minus his lady friend. Whoever she was. Could have been his wife for all I knew. I apparently had a knack for falling for bisexual guys with wives.

  Emily, who was right next to where he’d stopped at our table, smiled. “Hello, Theo. I thought I saw you.”

  Theo returned the smile and glanced down my way. “Just thought I’d stop by to say hello. That’s not your little brother, Dane, is it?”

  Theo had gone to school with Emily, actually. They’d been in the same grade, three years ahead of me. I’d forgotten Emily wouldn’t really know about my very brief time with Theo. How Theo had been my first back when I turned sixteen and he’d been nineteen. It wasn’t like either one of us was going to talk about it. Definitely not me.

  “Yes, that’s Dane. Isn’t he gorgeous?” This time she smiled in my direction, and it was such a sweet, sisterly smile I had to refrain from growling at her for her loaded question.

  Theo’s gaze swept over me, lingering perhaps a bit longer than it should. “He’s really grown up.”

  “Yes, I have, and I’m right here, if you’d like to stop talking over my head,” I snapped. Clearing my throat when everyone looked at me, I said, “Nice to see you, Theo. It’s been a while.”

  “Theo’s a police officer now with the Montpelier police force, right, Theo?”

  He nodded. “That’s right. Made sergeant late last year.”

  Well, good for him. And I meant it. Although admittedly thinking of Theo as a cop seemed a little strange to me. I never would have guessed that would be his dream. I also decided it was time to excuse myself to the bathroom as too many memories of that scared sixteen-year-old I’d been threatened to break through the fragile shell I’d tried to erect.

  “Hey, can you excuse me?” I rose from the table. “Nature calls. Good to see you again, Theo.”

  And then, maybe like a coward, I walked away from the table and toward the signs that directed me to the restrooms.

  I pushed open the door and breathed a sigh of relief. I didn’t have to go, so I went to the sink and splashed water on my face instead. I don’t really know why, maybe to wake myself up from the nightmare of the last few weeks of my life. It didn’t work, of course.

  I’d been a typical angst-filled sixteen-year-old when I’d let things get too far with the older Theo. I’d had a crush on him for a couple of years. But afterward, Theo had pulled back from me, wouldn’t take my calls, and seemed to be avoiding me. I’d already begun to think I had made a huge mistake in thinking there was more to our encounter when I spotted Theo making out with a girl. Not long after, I got on a plane with my mother and left Vermont.

  The door behind me pushed open, and I turned to see who had entered the restroom.

  Theo.

  “I can’t believe you followed me in here,” I said bluntly.

  “Look, Dane, I didn’t come in here to fight with you or anything.” He ran his long fingers through his dark hair. “I just wanted to say I heard about your partner from Emily, and I’m very sorry.” Theo hesitated. “How many years were you together?”

  I swallowed, trying to get the lump forming like a rock in my throat to disappear. It didn’t, so I croaked out, “Six years.”

  “I’m sorry. That’s so terrible.”

  His eyes were so kind and sympathetic, I wanted to throw my arms around him, have him hold me, and sob right there in the men’s room. I didn’t. But I wondered if there would be a time in the future I could talk about Donald without being in danger of losing it.

  “Thank you, Theo.” I had the feeling I should ask him about his life. His family. He probably had a wife and a bunch of kids by now. The words seemed to stick in my throat, though.

  “Emily says you’re going to be staying in Northfield with them for a while,” Theo said into the awkward silence.

  “Yeah, just about a month. I should get back out to my family.” I stepped around him, intending to make my way to the restroom door.

  “Dane.” Theo wrapped his hand around my wrist.

  My pulse raced at the simple touch. Strange, the effect he’d always had on me. He brushed his thumb over the sensitive skin there. My gaze rose to meet his, and my breath caught in my throat at the hint of desire I read in his eyes.

  He smiled crookedly. “Maybe we can get together one night while you’re still here. Talk about old times. It’s been years.”

  “Ten.”

  “Yes, ten.” He pulled out his wallet and retrieved a card, which he handed to me. “Give me a call when you get settled.”

  “Sure,” I said, though I seriously doubted I would. I shoved his card into the front pocket of my jeans anyway.

  “Well, I’ll let you get back to supper. It was great to see you, Dane. You look really good.” Theo paused, and for a moment I was afraid he intended to hug me. He didn’t. “I’m sorry about your partner.”

  And then he left the men’s room, and I really hoped that maybe this was the last I’d see of Theo Mason.

  Chapter 3

  A couple of days after my arrival, Annie and Alex decided I needed to go to the park with them. It was only a couple of streets away from Emily and Hank’s cute little suburban home, so we walked there, the three
of us.

  The day had dawned clear and crisp. I was no longer used to the chill, so I had wrapped my frozen little body in a heavy coat the rest of them had rightly scoffed at. I didn’t take it off, though, despite their scorn.

  The two of them walked a few paces ahead of me because as kids are, they were bundles of energy. I supposed I had been like that at their age.

  To be honest, I had wanted Emily to go with us. I had very little interaction with children by myself and had only met Annie and Alex the one time they’d come to visit Donald and me a few years back. They were practically babies then. I didn’t know what we’d actually talk about. Emily, being the obnoxious sister she was, had refused and sent the three of us off alone.

  “So, how’s school?” I asked as we set off for the park. It seemed like a safe topic to bring up, and all kids went to school.

  “My teacher is mean,” Annie declared.

  “Mean? Well, I bet she’s not mean, exactly. Maybe strict?”

  Annie, her long golden hair pulled back into a ponytail, rather vigorously shook her head. “No, Uncle Dane. She’s an evil witch.”

  I cleared my throat. “Well, that’s not nice to say. Perhaps you can give me some examples.”

  “She just is,” my niece insisted.

  Biting my lip, I resisted the urge to sigh. “How about you, Alex? How’s school?”

  He shrugged. “Fine.”

  Gee, that took care of that conversation pretty quickly. What the hell did six-year-olds like to talk about? Sure, I’d been one once, but I sure didn’t remember much about it. About all I remembered was feeling like something of an outcast even then.

  “Got any crushes?”

  “What?” Alex asked.

  “You know, think any girls in your class are cute?”

  He wrinkled his nose. “Girls are gross.”

  Too young, I supposed. I thought about asking Annie the same question, but she had stopped in her path to watch a cat slink up a driveway of a home.

  “Like the cat?”

  She nodded. “I want a kitten. Daddy says they’re noisy and smelly.”

  “What does Mommy say?”

  Annie sighed with all the drama a six-year-old could muster. “Ask Daddy.”

  “Ah.”

  And the three of us kept walking until we finally reached our destination. Annie grabbed my hand and pretty much ran with me to the swings, which already had a couple of other children, two boys, one about their age and the other maybe a year younger, playing there. Near them was an adult woman, probably somewhere in her sixties. Their grandmother, I imagined. She smiled at my niece and nephew but glared at me.

  “Hi, Mrs. Tate,” Annie said, apparently being acquainted with the woman. She jumped on the empty swing next to the smaller boy.

  “Afternoon, children.” She smiled again, then directed her glare back at me. “And who are you?”

  “Our uncle from California,” Alex told her before placing himself in a swing.

  “California?” Mrs. Tate said it the same way someone might say outer space.

  “Nice to meet you,” I said, politely.

  “How long are you visiting for, uncle from California?”

  I smiled. “A few weeks.”

  She sniffed. “Nice to have such a generous vacation plan from your employer.”

  Lord, so the woman was fishing. Fine.

  “I don’t work, Mrs. Tate.”

  “Oh?”

  I merely smiled again and walked to where Annie sat on her swing as she had just asked me to push her.

  “Laid off?” she prodded.

  “Nope.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Your wife working?”

  Apparently Mrs. Tate was quite the busybody.

  “I haven’t got a wife either. I have had a few books published.”

  “Oh. I see. You’re in the arts.” Also said like outer space. “There’s a lot of that there in California, I imagine.”

  I refrained from rolling my eyes and just gave Annie another push.

  “Are you Hank’s brother?” she asked.

  “Nope. Actually I am Emily’s younger brother. I grew up in Northfield.”

  She looked as though I had dropped a bombshell. Suddenly the hostility on her face disappeared as though I had never witnessed it.

  “Oh, I didn’t realize.” Mrs. Tate smiled warmly. “Then you are little Dane Westerfield. I’d almost forgotten Emily had a younger brother. I remember you when you were a tiny little boy. Your mama and I were in the PTO together.”

  “Well, I’m not so little anymore.”

  “You must have moved with your mama. When you were—how old?”

  “Sixteen.”

  Mrs. Tate nodded. “That’s right. Your mama died a few years ago, didn’t she?”

  “Yes, six years ago.” Right around the time I’d met Donald, so my mother never got to meet him. “Pneumonia.”

  “Always was a frail thing,” Mrs. Tate said. The boys had jumped off the swings and stood near her now. “My grandsons. I’m watching them while my daughter works today. We should be getting back. It’s lunchtime. Say hello to Emily for me.”

  “I will. Nice to meet you.”

  And I watched them leaving the park. There were other families in other parts of the park, but it was now just me, Annie, and Alex by the swings. I eyed the swing next to Alex to decide if it would hold my weight.

  “Did you come here when you were little, Uncle Dane?” Annie asked.

  “Nah. This wasn’t our neighborhood. We were on the other side of Northfield.” I decided the swing looked like it could handle all one hundred and fifty pounds of me. I hadn’t been on a swing like this since I was probably just a little older than the twins.

  The three of us played on the swings in companionable silence for several minutes. I was certain they didn’t know what to say to me either. But I supposed it beat being cooped up in Em’s house having her stare at me or ask me for the hundredth time if I was all right. I knew she meant well, but the question had actually grown to be very tedious shortly after Donald’s death.

  I had slowed down to a near stop while I watched a large white Ford pickup park at the curb of the park, not too far from the swing set. I squinted as a tall, muscular, dark-haired guy got out of the truck.

  Theo.

  What the fuck?

  And no mistaking that he was headed our way. My mouth thinning, I stood up from the swing and brushed off the seat of my jeans.

  “Afternoon, Annie, Alex…Dane.” Theo wore jeans too and a red plaid flannel shirt. His dark hair appeared to be slightly damp, as though he’d recently showered.

  “This an official visit, Sergeant?”

  Theo smiled, flashing too-perfect teeth. “No, not wearing my uniform, Dane. I’m off duty. Besides I’m with the Montpelier police force, not with the Northfield Police.”

  “I see.” But I didn’t, actually. I wondered what in the hell had possessed him to come to the park to track me down. And I was certain that was exactly what he was doing there.

  “I was wondering if you were free tonight to have dinner with me to talk about old times,” Theo said, smiling at Annie and Alex. They smiled back too, the traitors.

  I shrugged. “Not really sure. I think Emily has something planned.”

  Theo’s smile widened into a full-fledged grin. “Well, actually I went over to the house before I came here. She told me that she had nothing in particular planned, so you could come with me.”

  I wondered if it was too late to take up voodoo. Gritting my teeth, I nodded. “What do you have in mind?”

  “The weather being cooperative like it’s been, I thought I’d grill us a couple of steaks.”

  “Grill steaks? You mean at your place?”

  He nodded.

  Shaking my head, I said, “I don’t think so. Besides, what about your wife? Does she mind that?”

  Theo’s right eyebrow rose. “I don’t have a wife, Dane. Okay, if you don’t want to
come to my house this time, we can go to a little Italian place over on Baker. I’ll pick you up.”

  “This isn’t a date, you know.”

  He laughed. “I know that. You didn’t rent a car, did you? When you arrived?”

  He had me there. “No.”

  “So, I guess that means you need to be picked up. How about I come by in about two hours?”

  The words “Do I have a choice?” were on the tip of my tongue, but I fought them away. If Theo wanted us to talk over so-called old times, then I might as well get it out of the way now.

  “Fine. See you then.”

  * * * *

  “Haven’t you got anything nicer to wear than that?” Emily asked me when I came out of the guest room just before the time Theo was set to pick me up.

  I still wore the clothes I’d worn to the park, jeans and a long-sleeved graphic T-shirt. I looked down at myself, checking for stains or dirt smears. Seeing nothing, I shrugged.

  “Seems fine to me.”

  She crossed her arms in front of her and eyed me critically. “Haven’t you got maybe a pullover sweater and some nice slacks?”

  Blowing out a breath, I narrowed my eyes at her. “This is not a date, Em.”

  “I know that.”

  “I hope you do. Because it is ridiculous to think I am going on a date with anyone this soon after Donald died. You got that?” My temples pulsed, and I could tell from the heat in my face I had turned red.

  Emily patted my arm. “I know, I know, sweetie. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just thought you might want to change.”

  “Well, I don’t,” I said stubbornly. “What I have on will do fine.”

  Emily smiled, probably the way she would smile at a lunatic, and then she hugged me. “Okay, Dane. Try to have a nice supper, anyway.”

  I wanted to argue or grumble further, but she was being so nice I decided to drop it. I grabbed my heavy coat and shrugged it on just as headlights appeared in Em’s driveway.