by Shawn Lane
Slowly, he slipped out of me and lowered me to the shower floor.
“Wow,” I said with a grin.
Theo laughed. “That’s an understatement. You are so damn hot.”
I reached up to cup his jaw. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
Leaning against him, my eyes half-closed, I realized that he hadn’t used a condom.
I had been tested and in a long-term relationship, but I wasn’t sure if Theo had been, though I could not imagine Theo practicing unsafe sex. “Uh, Theo?”
“Hmm?”
“Have you been tested?”
He stiffened, then leaned down to kiss me. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I guess I went a little crazy. But yeah, last year and it was negative. I can get a more recent test if you want, but I haven’t had unprotected sex with anyone since then.”
I nodded and kissed him. “It’s fine.”
“Mm.” He kissed me again and then grabbed the shampoo. “Let’s clean up so we can go to bed.”
“Where we’ll fuck again?” I asked with a raised brow.
He grinned. “You read my mind.”
I rolled my eyes and rinsed off.
Chapter 7
Before I knew it, I had only a few days left before it would be time to return home. I couldn’t help being pretty amused at myself, considering when I had arrived, I had wanted to turn around and go home. Now faced with saying good-bye to Emily and her family, it seemed to have come all too soon.
Ah, hell, who was I kidding? I would miss Em, Hank, and the kids, but it was Theo I didn’t want to say good-bye to. I was afraid I was falling in love with him. And this time it would be far more than a teenage crush.
Alex had a soccer game, and we were at the park where they would start to play in a few minutes. I expected Theo to join us, so I was on the lookout. From my perch in a lawn chair, properly covered by a floppy straw hat, both of which I’d borrowed from Em, I kept searching the surrounding field for a glimpse of Theo. Em and Hank sat next to me in similar lawn chairs while Annie ran around with another little girl about her age.
“Annie, don’t go too far,” Emily shouted at the rambunctious girl as she ran past us. She shielded her eyes and looked out over the soccer field. “I wish they’d start already.”
“Theo isn’t here yet.” I reached for the bottle of water Hank handed to me.
“He’ll be here. What are you guys doing after Alex’s game?” Emily asked.
I wrinkled my nose. “Something about hiking or a walking trail. Outdoorsy crap.”
Hank laughed. “Poor Dane.”
“I know. It’s exercise, for God’s sake.”
Emily patted my leg. “You’ll live. It’s good for you.”
I guessed maybe it would be good. Donald was never far from my mind, but spending time with Theo had kept me from wallowing in sorrow. Still I had to learn to deal with Donald’s death and living now without having a substitute for him. Maybe that wasn’t fair to Theo, because he wasn’t really a substitute, but, well, I had a lot of thinking to do when I returned home.
The game had been going a few minutes when Theo appeared beside me. He sat on the grass next to my chair and placed his hand on my thigh.
“Hey, sorry, I got caught on the phone,” he said.
“You didn’t miss much. No score.”
“Hey, Em, Hank.”
“How’s it going, Theo?” Hank asked, passing him a bottle of water from the cooler.
“Great, thanks.” He glanced at me. “You ready for our adventure?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be. Where are we going again?”
“For a walk to the Northfield Falls and the Dog River. There are several covered bridges and woods and such we can check out. Don’t you remember from when you were a boy? Going for nature walks and stuff through there?”
I snorted. “Nature walks?”
Emily, who’d been listening, laughed. “Dane go on nature walks? There’s still a lot you haven’t learned about Dane. He hates physical activities.”
Theo smiled. “Not all of them.”
“Shh.” I laughed. “She’s right. I am not the outdoors type. Donald could putz around in his damn garden all day, and I never got the appeal. I burn as soon as I walk outside.”
He leaned over and tugged the brim of the hat down slightly. “Hat is adorable, by the way.”
“Thanks.”
“So you never went to Dog River and checked out all the covered bridges? Even during the fall?”
I took a swig of my water. “I might have.”
“You might have?”
“A time or two. Folks made me join the Scouts, and that was one of our activities.”
“Aha!” Theo looked triumphant. “I knew you had been before, brat.”
“Well, good,” I said, “so we don’t have to go again. Seen them once, you’ve seen them enough.”
He laughed. “Nice try, Westerfield. You’re going.”
I fake pouted because the truth was I was looking forward to going, but I had to keep up my act. I’d rather cuddle up next to Theo in his nice warm house, but if Theo wanted to go on some walk, I’d do it. Whatever time I had left here, I wanted to make sure I spent a good portion of it with Theo. So far he hadn’t pushed me about staying longer, though he’d mentioned it one or two times. I was pretty sure he’d mention it again.
Alex’s team was set to score, so we turned our attention to the soccer field for the remainder of the game. When it was over, we said our good-byes, and I trudged out to Theo’s truck in the parking lot.
Once we were inside the cab of the truck, I expected Theo to turn on the engine, but instead he twisted to turn toward me.
“I’m really glad you agreed to do this with me.”
I smiled. “I didn’t know it was so important to you, Theo.”
“Well, I like spending time with you.”
“I like spending time with you too. But we could be spending time where it’s warm and cozy in your house.” I waggled my eyebrows.
Theo laughed and turned to start the truck. “I’m trying to prove to you I’m interested in more from you than just great sex.”
“But the sex is great,” I pointed out.
“Don’t think I don’t know it. And I’m going to want that great sex later when we’re done with the falls. But you know, I want you to remember how pretty it is here. Even in the spring.”
I glanced out his window, having a pretty good idea why he wanted me to remember the beauty of the area.
“Theo—”
He sighed. “I know. Can we just talk later and enjoy this now?”
My throat tightened. “Sounds like a plan.”
It wasn’t that long a drive to the area where you could see the covered bridges, Cox Brook Road, and Theo found a place to leave his truck so we could walk around the area. Theo wore a light windbreaker, but I was bundled up in a thick down jacket he’d lent me, a knit cap, and a pair of gloves.
Theo laughed and tugged the zipper of my coat all the way up to my throat. “You look very cute.”
I rolled my eyes. “Just what I want to be.”
“Whether you want to be or not, you are. With your pink cheeks.”
“It’s cold out here,” I protested. “Are you sure they aren’t blue?”
“You’ve gotten spoiled out there in California.”
“That’s the way I like it,” I said and started down the road in the direction of the bridges. Theo had grown quiet, and I knew I’d probably said the wrong thing. But hell, I couldn’t lie. I did like living in California.
We ran into the Upper Cox Bridge first. Most of the covered bridges in Vermont were built in the 1800s, though some of them had been through several restorations over the years. They were covered in red wood with slanted roofs, very quaint looking, and very Currier and Ives in the winter all blanketed in snow.
“It is pretty,” I said in what I hoped was a neutral voice. We couldn’t go on ignoring what was essentially t
he elephant in the room. I leaned against a wooden fence and gazed at the bridge and the surrounding foliage. “So you really like being a cop in Montpelier, huh?”
Theo leaned on the fence beside me and folded his arms across his chest. “Yeah, I do. Crime rate’s not crazy, and I like being a part of keeping it that way. It’s a good place. If I hadn’t grown up here, I probably would have bought a house in Montpelier.”
I nodded. “That’s good. I remember going there a few times with the family as a kid. My mom loved the historic district.”
Theo blew out a breath; it swirled in front of us, misted. “You really like living in California so much?”
“It’s sunny and warm most of the time. What’s not to like?”
“Must be more to it than that, though.”
“Sure. I have friends there. A house there.”
“Donald was there,” he said softly.
“Uh-huh.”
“You do know I’m not like Donald, right?”
I frowned. “What are you talking about?”
Theo looked off over the horizon, not meeting my gaze. “I just get the feeling sometimes you’re comparing me to him.”
“How?” I didn’t think I did. But maybe I was wrong.
“Because he was bisexual and kept secrets from you. Had a wife and a kid. I don’t have a wife, Dane. I never have. There’s no secret kid out there either.” Theo finally turned to look at me, and he met my gaze. “I’m not keeping anything from you. What you see, what you know, it’s the reality of me. I’ve told you everything.”
“You’ve chosen a girl over me before.” I realized it sounded like an accusation. I guessed it was.
He stared at me, his mouth slightly parted. “Sarah Stewart?”
I nodded.
“Jesus, that was ten years ago. I told you I was stupid and scared.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to pay for my past with you any more than I want to pay for what Donald did.”
“I know, it’s just—”
“I’m not going to pick a woman over you,” Theo said. “Or anyone. And if you think about it, neither did Donald. Yeah, he had a wife. But he had her before he met you, didn’t he?”
“Yeah.”
“And he chose you, Dane. When it came down to it, he loved you. Right?”
“Yes,” I whispered. “He did.”
Donald had chosen me. He hadn’t chosen the easy way and gone back to his wife. That meant something. In spite of my wishing he had told me everything, Donald loved me. I had no doubts now.
“Thanks.”
He smiled. “So, we’re good?”
“I think so.”
We fell silent, the two of us, lost in our own thoughts as we looked at the surrounding beauty of the area. It was Theo who broke our shared quiet. “I don’t want you to leave, Dane.”
And there it was. Flat-out. I closed my eyes but it didn’t make any of it go away and when I opened my eyes, Theo was gazing at me.
“Theo—”
“Can you hear me out?”
Biting my lip, I nodded, but already my stomach was twisted in knots.
“You’re a writer, right? You write those novels, and you can do that anywhere. It doesn’t have to be in California.”
“What? Wait. Slow down,” I said. “You’re getting way ahead of me here. I’m thinking you’re going to tell me you want me to extend my visit, and you’re talking something else.”
“Bullshit. You knew very well I was talking something more permanent. Your face got all weird and pale.”
Okay, maybe he had me there. Maybe I did know he was heading into the “stay here forever” territory. Either way it was too much, too soon.
“Theo, I am not ready to make that kind of decision right now. I came here for a temporary visit to clear my head before I went back to deal with the aftermath of Donald’s death, including what to do about a big empty house I now own.” I pinched the bridge of my nose.
“Well, I am sorry I complicated things.”
Not caring one bit for the sarcasm in his tone, I got a little irritated. “You did complicate things. This was supposed to be relaxing and a way to spend time with my family to help me with my grief. Almost from the start when I got here, you’ve inserted yourself into my life. And I never asked for that.”
I knew as soon as the words left my mouth, I shouldn’t have said them. I wanted to take them back, suck them back inside, then zip my lips shut.
Too late.
“You’re right. I did.” Theo straightened from the fence and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “It’s getting colder. We should get back.”
“Theo.”
“Come on, Dane. I think the clouds are coming in, and I don’t want to get caught in the rain.”
I followed him down the road—and it was following, because I was at least ten paces behind. It seemed like he was walking at superhuman speed.
I knew I shouldn’t have worded it like that, and the truth was I did love the time I’d spent with Theo, but because of it, everything was a lot more screwed up than before. He was asking me to make major decisions, and we’d only known each other for a few weeks. Knowing each other as teens was not the same.
When I reached his truck, he was already sitting in it with the engine running. I opened the passenger door and got inside without a word.
Theo turned on the radio and the heat. I slunk down in the seat and stared out the window, biting my lip. This was not how I wanted my last few days in Northfield to go. And I knew even before he turned in the direction of Emily’s house that was where he was taking me. Not to his house. The knot in my stomach felt like it had risen to my throat.
He pulled his truck in front of Emily’s house.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, the effort to get words out making my throat raw.
“Yeah. Go spend some time with your family.”
I blinked and reached for the handle of the door. “I wanted to spend the day with you.”
“I’m not really up for company. I’ll call you later.”
So I got out of his truck and closed the door. He drove off before I even made it up the driveway to the house.
* * * *
I couldn’t let what was between us end that way. In fact, if I was honest with myself, I didn’t want it to end at all. All I could offer Theo at this point was a long-distance relationship. I hoped it would be enough, though I feared it would not.
Regardless, I had to talk to Theo and apologize for what I’d said. I borrowed Emily’s car again, drove the few blocks to Theo’s house, and parked in front of it.
And there I remained for a few moments, trying to work up the nerve to actually go to the front door. I felt a little foolish now that I’d driven over here. For all I knew, Theo had gone out with friends. Or worse…on a date with someone else.
Okay, maybe not in the few hours since he’d dropped me off at Emily’s, but I didn’t know what kind of reception I’d get after what I said before.
Grow some, Dane.
Sighing, I opened the car door and got out, then locked it. As Theo had predicted, the clouds had come in, and there was a definite nip in the air. I hurried to the front door, knocking on it rapidly, and then shoving my hands in the coat, wishing I had worn gloves.
I heard the handle turning just before the door opened, and Theo looked out at me.
“Dane?”
“Uh, hi. Can we talk?” I bit my lip. “Inside where it’s warm, preferably.”
Theo frowned, which couldn’t be a good sign, but he opened the door wide to allow me into his house. I shrugged out of my coat and hung it on a hook on the wall.
I almost said the old clichéd line, “Is this a bad time?” but decided to do us both a favor and not resort to cloying cuteness.
“Look, I don’t feel like trying to make small talk to lead up to the reason I came over here tonight after you dumped me on Em’s doorstep.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but I
shook my head, and he closed it.
“I’m sorry about what I said earlier by the bridges. It didn’t really come out the way I thought it would.”
“Didn’t it?”
Swallowing, I took a few steps closer to him, and I almost expected him to back away from me, but he didn’t. I felt encouraged by that.
“No.” I looked down and reached for his big, calloused hands and wrapped my cold fingers around his warm palm. “You did complicate things. I didn’t expect to come to Northfield and see you again. Let alone, have…this.” I leaned up on my tiptoes and touched my lips to his.
At first his lips were stiff and unyielding, and I was afraid he was going to remain stubborn and possibly even throw me out of the house. Send me back to my sister’s with my tail between my legs.
Then a sort of growl rose up from Theo’s throat. He grasped the back of my head, and he ground his mouth into mine, thrusting his tongue between my lips. He turned us, somehow, until I was flush against the wall, and he pressed into me, rubbing the bulge of his jeans into me.
We should be talking more, I knew, but just then I was practically crawling up his body, and I wanted him to fuck me so bad I thought maybe I’d die if he didn’t. He pushed up my pullover sweater and splayed his hands over my bare abs, then slid them up to my chest.
“Please,” I managed to gasp between breaths before his lips claimed mine again in an almost brutal kiss.
My sweater went over my head and went flying who knew where, and then, as though I was floating on air, we moved toward his bedroom, my legs locked around him, our mouths fused together.
He crashed us onto the bed, and somehow he got us both naked, though I barely registered anything but the taste of his lips and the feel of those hands all over my bare skin, bringing me to a near fever pitch of want.
And then my hole was slicked with lube Theo had fumbled for from the nightstand, and Theo pushed his cock inside me. He fucked me hard, fast, and deep. I begged for it, moaning his name over and over with each thrust, and I encircled my shaft, jerking it roughly.
I had started out underneath him, my legs raised high in the air, but at one point, he switched us so that he lay on the mattress and I straddled him, riding his long, thick cock.
Sweat beaded on my forehead and on my upper lip as I rose up and down on him, milking his powerful orgasm. His fingers dug into me as he reared up, shouting his release. My own splattered his stomach and chest, and I collapsed and lay across him.
