Love Croakies

by Sam Cheever

  Not that I was a super hero in the defensive magics myself. But in a pinch, I could zap the little monsters with my Keeper energy. It was enough to curl their hair or make them pee into their diapers.

  Grym got a constipated look on his handsome face. “I don’t want you to go with him.” He blinked even as the words came out.

  We stared at each other for a beat, then both of our gazes slid to the small wound on his shoulder.

  “Oh, oh,” Sebille said, coming up behind the manager.

  Grym’s lips compressed. “I can handle it,” he finally said.

  “Handle what?” the manager asked.

  “Coordination of the cleanup,” Grym said, his hostile gaze sliding to the man. “You can evacuate anyone who isn’t passed out?”

  “Yeah,” the man said, his expression turning leery in the face of Grym’s inexplicable hostility. “I can do that.” He turned to me. “I’d love your help, young lady.”

  A growl throbbed in the air. We all looked at Grym. He made a point of looking over his shoulder. “Is there a dog in here?”

  Sebille snorted out a laugh. “There’s definitely something feral.”

  Grym glowered at her.

  “Shall we go?” the manager asked me.

  I nodded.

  He reached out and placed a hand on my arm to guide me toward a sign that said ‘Elevator’. It was just to one side of the doors Sebille and I had entered through. “Let’s start there…oh!”

  Grym was suddenly chest to chest with the manager, his big form shoving the smaller man backward and away from me. “Don’t…touch…her!” he growled out.

  “Grym, back up,” I commanded.

  The big cop ignored me, his gaze locked on the other man in a threatening way.

  “Grym?”

  Nothing. He appeared to be lost to the Cupid’s poisonous spell.

  I swallowed hard, my gaze sliding pleadingly toward Sebille. She took a step closer to Grym and casually placed a hand on his shoulder. Pale green light flared from beneath her palm and Grym twitched as if shocked by a bug zapper.

  Grym’s eyes rolled back in his head, and Sebille tucked herself quickly beneath his arm, keeping him from falling. She jerked her head toward our destination. “Go. Hurry. He’s heavy.”

  “Is he…” the worried manager asked.

  I grabbed the man’s arm and gave him a tug. “He’ll be fine. He’s…erm…epileptic. It’ll pass.”

  The man let me drag him away but kept glancing back toward Grym. “Are you sure he’s okay? Maybe we should call an ambulance.”

  “No. He’s fine. That’s his assistant there with him. She knows what to do.”

  I turned back just in time to catch Sebille smacking Grym on the forehead. He snapped right out of whatever she’d done to him.

  I grinned. Good thing he had a hard head—a rock-like one, to be precise.

  10

  Good Goddess on a Rowing Machine!

  “Hurry,” I told the manager.

  “Why? Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  Yeah, I thought. Lots of things. “I just have a bad feeling. We need to get the people out of here.”

  He nodded, pointing toward a short hallway with restrooms on one side and an elevator at the end. “Our offices are on the third floor.”

  The elevator door seemed to take forever to open. Behind us in the mall, I heard the heavy pounding of hurried footsteps.

  I eyed the elevator. “How much longer…?”

  The doors dinged and opened. I all but shoved the manager into the elevator and pushed him back while I punched the close button a dozen times.

  “You know that won’t make it close any faster,” the man said, frowning.

  “I know.” The words came out angry. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Sorry. This whole thing has me stressed out.”

  He nodded. “I understand. Believe me.”

  Thank the goddess, the door finally slid closed. I punched the button for the third floor. “How many employees are up there?”

  He shrugged. “Generally, we have a dozen people here during the day. I’m pretty sure I saw five of them slide out the doors with customers. Two people are sick today, so that leaves four, plus me.”

  I nodded. “Is anybody armed?”

  He paled, his eyes turning to golf balls in his face. “Armed? Like with weapons?”

  I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “Yes.”

  “I don’t think so. The Armitage Group forbids any kind of firearm.”

  The bell dinged and the doors slid open. We were in another short hallway, the restrooms along the side just like the ones on the first floor. In fact, the whole setup was so similar, I glanced at the number above the elevator door just to make sure we’d changed floors.

  “Where’s the office?” I asked.

  He pointed toward the mall. “Out there.”

  “Lead the way.”

  Something felt off about the place when we stepped from the hallway into the wide aisle where the stores were. Like just about every other mall I’d ever visited, the center space was open to the floors below, with a wide, horizontal walkway in the center that crossed from one side to the other.

  The floor was tile, the surface glossy and with pale veining like marble. Large pots held small trees or an abundance of tropical-looking plants and flowers. The ends were anchored by large department stores, and the walkways on either side were lined by smaller shops.

  It should have been pretty. A soothing oasis from work and life where people could happily spend all their hard-earned money in a stress free environment.

  Instead, the place was a mess.

  Torn paper, discarded bags, and trampled sale items lay strewn over the slick floor. A woman’s brown leather purse lay in front of us as we emerged from the hall, its contents strewn over a six-foot-wide space.

  The owner of the purse was nowhere to be seen. Somewhere down the mall a distance, someone was sobbing.

  I reached out and grabbed my companion’s arm, stopping him. “Something’s happening near that central walkway.”

  He nodded, stepping close and lowering his voice. “How do you want to play this?”

  I nearly grinned at his thriller movie dialogue. My gaze slid to the floor. To the oversized purse. It wasn’t exactly a weapon, but it was something.

  I quickly scooped up the purse. It was sewn from heavy leather, but it wasn’t heavy enough to hurt anybody. I scanned the area, finding a store down the way that had what I needed. I put a finger over my lips and pointed to the store.

  Very carefully, I removed my shoes and pointed to the manager’s shoes. Once we were both in stocking feet, we padded silently along the wall toward the workout wear store I’d spotted.

  We ducked inside the store and eyed the carnage. It looked like every pair of running shoes and every spandex top and running bra had been ripped from shelves and racks and flung around.

  We were dealing with some really angry cherubs.

  “Are we going to spandex them into submission?” the manager asked, his expression dubious.

  “Hopefully not,” I said, kicking clothing aside in search of my goal.

  I found it a few minutes later, the hard way. My toe smashed into something hard and heavy near a toppled dummy.

  “Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, goddess! That hurt.” I glanced at my tender toe and found blood seeping through my sock. Sizzling bat scat!

  My companion crouched down and uncovered my attacker. A small stainless steel weight. Probably about three pounds. “Is this what you’re looking for?”

  I nodded, releasing my bleeding foot and taking it from him. I dropped it into the purse and swung it to test its heft. “That’s better.”

  “How’d you know…” he started to ask.

  The sobbing in the mall turned more desperate. A woman’s tearful voice added pleading to the mix. “Let’s just go home, honey. Those things are going to come back.”

  That
didn’t sound good.

  A curtain shifted behind the checkout counter, and a big woman with dark red hair teased up into a peacock thing on the back of her head stepped from what was probably the office slash inventory room.

  Her flat, bulldog face turned belligerent when she spotted us. “What are you doing in here?”

  “It’s okay, Daisy,” the manager said. “She’s helping.”

  The woman had smallish, deep-set eyes in a wide face. When she slid her focus from me to the man with me, the gaze softened and her small mouth curved. “Ralph. You came to see me.” Her muscular body softened along with the smile. “I knew you’d come.”

  She moved toward us on enormous cat feet, light and agile despite her bulk.

  Ralph Pinch swallowed hard and took a step back. His hands came up as if to ward her off. “Now Daisy, we’ve had this conversation. I told you, I’m a married ma…”

  Daisy, a more misnamed wretch I’d never seen, reached toward him with long muscular arms and smashed him up against her massive breasts. The man’s feet literally dangled above the floor. She rubbed her face against his as if scent-marking him. “I knew you loved me.”

  Ralph’s bulging gaze slid to me, filled with pleading.

  Beyond the open shop door, the sobs had reached a fever pitch and shouting had joined the crying.

  “Please help,” said a pleading voice.

  I blinked, realizing the plea had been delivered in a man’s voice and was much nearer than before.

  It was Ralph.

  I smiled at the woman. “Daisy, is it? Hi. I’m Naida. It’s nice to meet you.”

  The woman’s lips curled on a silent snarl.

  Aardvark cankles! I was going to be eaten.

  I forced my lips to curve into a smile, lifting my hands to show how harmless I was. The weight-laden purse slipped into the inside curve of my bent arm and swung against my hip. “We’re just trying to help that woman out there. Can you help too? She sounds really scared.”

  Daisy’s bulldog face turned purple. “You can’t have him. He’s mine.”

  Too late, I noticed the slender shaft of a Cupid arrow jutting from the side of her thick throat.

  “I promise I don’t want him…”

  Her glower deepened and a growl rumbled in her throat. “Are you saying Ralph’s not good enough for you?”

  Good goddess on a rowing machine!

  “No, Ralph’s very nice.”

  “Nice!” she roared. “He’s perfection! Do you think you can come in here and insult my man like that?” She shoved Ralph aside, sending him crashing against a shoe display, where he tumbled to the floor with a neon green running shoe in one hand.

  With a bellow of pure rage, Daisy threw herself at me, teeth bared and fingers curved into deadly-looking claws.

  I gave up trying to talk sense and gathered the straps of the purse in one hand. Weight on my toes so I could dance out of her way, I spun the weighted purse in one hand, like Wonder Woman with her lasso. As Daisy moved closer, I braced to jump away. She made a grab for my arm, snarling wetly, and I sent the heavy projectile flying toward her head.

  It hit her right between the eyes.

  Daisy went down like a ton of bricks.

  “Oh,” said Ralph.

  I turned to find the mall manager looking flushed and confused, the running shoe perched on his palms as if he were a salesman giving a hot prospect the big pitch.

  I grinned. “Do you have that in my size?”

  Ralph blinked in confusion. “Huh?”

  Apparently, he’d hit his head on the shelves.

  I walked over and offered him my hand.

  Ralph shoved the shoe in it.

  Hm. Lightweight, gel insoles. Nice shoe. I shook out of my shoe coma and threw the runner to the floor. “Come on, let’s get out of here before she wakes up.”

  Behind me, Daisy groaned and shifted, her fingers twitching.

  I grabbed Ralph’s clammy hand and yanked. He came to his feet but was a bit wobbly.

  “Let me see your head,” I told him, turning him around to examine his scalp for a goose egg or worse.

  Nothing.

  “You’re okay. Come on.” I turned and started toward the door.

  Ralph didn’t move.

  I stopped and frowned at him. “We need to go.”

  Ralph nodded, blinked, and then slid into a boneless pile on the floor.

  Badger bunions!

  I stood there for a beat, unsure what to do. If I left him behind, Daisy might hurt him. But what if I couldn’t wake him up in time and Daisy got us both?

  Another sob sounded in the eerily silent mall.

  My head whipped back and forth between the woman in the mall and Ralph.

  Daisy flopped like a landed fish. She was waking up.

  I hurried over to Ralph, bent over him, and slapped him hard on the face.

  He came awake with a surprised, “Ungh!” His soft, white fists popped up, and he turned an angry gaze my way.

  “It’s me!” I told him. “Daisy’s waking up, so if you don’t want to be her little play thing, you need to snap out of it and get moving!”

  Ralph’s gaze slid to the enormous woman and widened. It was all the warning I had that she was on the move.

  I ducked as a shadow swept over me and twisted, whipping the purse into her belly as I spun away from her attack.

  Daisy bent double, pale and wheezing like a wounded buffalo.

  Ralph shoved to his feet and ran. Daisy was already straightening as I cleared the door. But Ralph was messing with something on the edge of the opening.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Closing her in.”

  Daisy’s eyes found me and locked on. With one arm still wrapped protectively around her middle, she stumbled forward, growling. Her fingers curved into claws. “I’ll kill you, you little pipsqueak.”

  “Ralph?” I braced my feet wide, twirling the purse as she lumbered closer.

  “Almost…” There was a clanking sound and then the sound of metal unrolling as Ralph tugged the security door across the wide opening.

  Daisy was so focused on me that it took her a moment to realize what he was doing. When it finally sank in, her head shot in his direction and she howled. “No, Ralph! Don’t leave with her.”

  He slammed the door home just as she reached it. For a terrifying moment, she fought him for control of the unlocked door.

  I could do nothing. My weapon of choice wouldn’t work through the heavy metal mesh. I threw myself at the door and held it closed while Ralph dug in his pocket.

  “What are you doing?” I shrieked.

  “The key!” he yelled back.

  Daisy was probably a lot stronger than I was normally. But under the influence of the Cupid’s poisonous magic, she was a beast. I’d wrapped my fingers around the mesh and was leaning back, putting all my weight behind holding it closed, and still she was managing to wrench it open by inches.

  Ralph had found the key. “You need to keep it closed so I can lock it!” he yelled.

  Red-faced and sweating, I threw him a look. “I’m open to suggestions!”

  He threw his weight into getting it closed, but when he released it with one hand, Daisy yanked it open again. She got it far enough open to snake one thick hand through to claw at me. Her fingernails were short but sharp, and she clawed bloody tracks in the soft skin of my wrist before I could yank my hand away.

  As soon as I let go, she roared and yanked the door open another foot.

  It was enough for her to wedge herself into the breach.

  She got hold of Ralph’s shirt front and slammed him into the mesh.

  I panicked and did the only thing I could think of to do.

  I hit her with a blast of my Keeper energy.

  She jerked to a stop, Ralph droopy and bleeding in her hand, and her eyes went wide. All the hair on her head rolled up into Shirley Temple curls, and she released Ralph to clutch herself. “I have to pee!” />
  Without another glance, the big woman spun on her heel and crab-walked as fast as she could toward the back room.

  Ralph shoved the door closed and fumbled with the key for a moment, his fingers shaking so badly he could barely insert it into the lock.

  “Won’t she have a key too?” I asked, panting.

  He shook his head. “New security measures in the mall. Only management and security have keys to the security doors.”

  “Thank the goddess,” I said, slumping against the wall. “That’s one strong woman.”

  Ralph shook his head. “She’s always been really gentle and kind.”

  “She’s not herself,” I said.

  “Why?” he asked. His expression was a mix of confused and sad. “What’s going on in my mall?”

  A blood-curdling scream pierced the silence.

  Thank the goddess I didn’t have to answer his question. I took off running toward the sound.

  11

  Just Another Ugly Dirigible

  The screaming turned shrill as Ralph and I ran toward the center of the floor. A large tree dominated the area in front of the crosswalk, blocking the view of what was happening until we were almost on top of it.

  As we reached the tree, a man jumped out at us, an enormous knife clutched in one strong hand and a feral look in his eyes. His short, straight brown hair stuck up in clumps all over his head as if he’d been continually running his fingers through it, and blood painted the front of his hooded sweatshirt in large drops.

  My eyes went wide at the sight of the blood.

  Ralph lifted his hands when he spotted the knife. To his credit, he tried to block me with his own, quivering form. “Now, let’s just calm down, okay?” He nodded toward the woman cringing behind a bench along the railing. “Is she hurt? Do we need to call an ambulance?”

  The man with the knife lunged forward, causing us to backtrack quickly to avoid being jabbed. “She’s not going anywhere without me.”