Love in Surrender

by Lexi Buchanan

  Love in Surrender

  De La Fuente Book 8

  Lexi Buchanan

  Contents

  1. Blake

  2. Violet

  3. Blake

  4. Violet

  5. Blake

  6. Violet

  7. Blake

  8. Violet

  9. Blake

  10. Violet

  11. Blake

  12. Violet

  13. Blake

  14. Violet

  15. Blake

  16. Violet

  17. Blake

  18. Violet

  19. Blake

  20. Violet

  21. Blake

  22. Violet

  23. Blake

  24. Violet

  25. Blake

  26. Violet

  27. Blake

  28. Violet

  29. Blake

  30. Violet

  Epilogue ~ Blake

  Family Tree

  Dear Reader

  Other books by Lexi Buchanan

  Stryker, MMA Romantic Suspense

  Come Back to Me

  Summer at Rose Cottage, Cozy Romantic Mystery

  Twenty Eight Days, Romantic Suspense

  About the Author

  Copyright © 2018 by Lexi Buchanan

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Published by HFCA Publishing House

  http://www.lexibuchanan.com

  http://ronajameson.com

  1

  Blake

  Swallowing back the hurt I feel listening to Violet speak about her date with Deacon, I try to concentrate on the other conversations going on around the table…except…I can’t. My attention as always is centered on Violet.

  Violet came into my life at my lowest point and swept into my heart like a tornado. She’s the only woman I see, and I care about her enough to push her away, toward someone else, who can offer her a life with financial and physical security.

  I know that she’s hurt because of my callous words on the subject of her dating, I do feel guilty, but she isn’t the only one. I hurt. I hurt so fucking much that it’s difficult to carry on.

  Beneath the table, my sister slips her hand over mine and gives it a squeeze before prying my fist open, forcing me to accept her hand fully into mine.

  I meet her gaze and quickly look away, but I accept the lifeline she’s offered and hold on tight.

  Everyone knows why I’m pushing Violet away and I wish they’d accept my decision. Instead they look on, insistent that I let her in.

  I’m not willing to pull Violet down with me. She deserves a life with a man who can give her the world, not a man who may never walk again, never work another day.

  If it weren’t for my sister being part of this family, then I would have made my way back home, figured things out for myself.

  This new family is almost over bearing, but I know that all they want to do is help. No matter how many times I tell myself to let them, I always shut them down. I’ve done everything for Felicity and I since our parents were killed so many years before, but things changed when she married into the De La Fuente family. I don’t begrudge her that because I know her husband, Kasey, would and does, do everything he can to make her happy. Just like she does for him.

  I feel as though I’m floundering with no true direction and I can’t seem to stop hurting Violet.

  Perhaps I do need to head home to my apartment even though I’m not sure how the hell I’d manage to maneuver up and down the stairs all the damn time.

  Home is with Violet.

  I hate my conscience sometimes.

  Closing my eyes, I ignore the celebration meal for Andie and try to dispel my anger at the situation I’ve found myself in.

  My life fell apart because of the accident, and I still have no idea how I’m supposed to pick up the pieces. I don’t know if I can. Not alone anyway.

  I’m not going to lie to myself, without Kasey, Felicity, and Violet, I wouldn’t be as healthy as I am.

  It just tears me apart living with the woman that I’ve fallen in love with, knowing that I may never be the man she deserves.

  That brings me back to what I told her earlier. I’m not sure I have enough years left to forget the look on her face when I suggested she date. She’d looked heartbroken.

  No words have been exchanged between us since then and I don’t know how long the silence is going to last considering we’re sharing a two bedroom suite for one more night.

  Sighing, I release my sister’s hand and give her a wry smile. “Thanks.”

  She rolls her eyes, and leaning in whispers, “One of these days you’re going to wake up and wonder why you were such a jerk.”

  My eyes narrow as she continues, “I love you, and so does the woman that you’re ignoring.” She leans in and kisses my cheek. “Don’t let your food go cold.”

  I smile and tell her, “You’re going to make an amazing Mom, Felicity.”

  Tears gather in her eyes as she fights them back. One slips down her delicate cheek, which I capture. “I love you too, Sis. Just please don’t cry otherwise your husband will want to punch me.”

  She giggles. “No he won’t.”

  “That’s debatable,” Kasey grumbles from beside her.

  Ignoring Kasey, I nod toward her plate of food. “Let’s eat.”

  “You men in my life are beyond annoying with all of the nagging,” she moans.

  “The men in your life love you,” Kasey points out. “Which is why we’re always telling you to eat.” He tilts her face to him and plants a kiss to her lips. “I need you to stay healthy.”

  I tune them out and finally glance across the table, finding Violet’s gaze already fixed on me. My eyes caress over her pale features, down to her untouched plate of food. When I finally lift my eyes and meet hers, I see tears swimming, unshed on her lashes, and my resolve begins to crack.

  2

  Violet

  Fuming, I slam around my bedroom and silently curse at the jerk who is probably sound asleep next door in his bedroom. I need a psychological evaluation for even suggesting that we share a two-bedroom suite. I only suggested the idea because it worked out fifty dollars cheaper to do so and I would be close at hand if he needed me. Next time, if there is to even be a next time, I need to remember to keep my mouth shut. Let him struggle. He’d soon miss me then!

  Fighting with my clothes, I stumble into the bathroom and toss the garments on the floor until I’m completely naked. I’d been heartbroken earlier in the evening when he’d insisted I started dating and not to hold back on his account. I was in love with the jerk and he wanted me to date other men.

  He had no clue what he’d unleashed with those hurtful words.

  That man is stubborn to the core and even though I’m not blind to the fact that he’s hurting. He’s hurt me too many times to count recently and I’m done.

  It’s my turn to hit back and that’s what I’m going to do. For once, I want him to know exactly how much it hurts when he disregards me.

  Maybe for some reason it won’t hurt him as much as it does me. I mean for that to happen he’d have to have real feelings for me, which I’m sure he doesn’t.

  At one stage I’d thought he was falling in love with me, like I was him, but that soon changed. One minute we’d be friends, enjoying spending time together, and the next, he’d pushed me away and we’ve never been the same. I hate that and I miss him. I miss being able to talk to him. I miss the feel of him pressed against me as we’d fal
l asleep outside in the sun. He’d become everything to me until he’d abruptly snapped me out of the daydream I’d been living.

  So now I was committed to going out on a date with Deacon, the new sheriff in Great Falls. He was a nice guy and had asked me out a few times now, I had previously politely declined, so he’d been surprised when I’d messaged him to ask if he’d like to go out.

  I’d felt stupid, but Blake had made me angry while breaking my heart, so it had given me the courage I’d needed. My feelings for Blake won’t just disappear overnight, but hopefully with Deacon’s help, they’ll evaporate eventually.

  Stepping into the shower, I’m determined to wash away the stain of the evening so I can concentrate on moving forward, but that doesn’t exactly go according to plan. I have one foot in the shower when I hear a loud cry followed by a thud and bottles crashing to the floor.

  What the hell is he doing?

  I really don’t want to go and check on him, but my heart won’t let me settle until I know he’s okay.

  Flipping the shower off, I turn and grab a large fluffy towel from behind the door and race through the sitting area, to Blake’s side of the suite. I rap my knuckles on his bedroom door. “Blake.” There’s no answer. I knock again in rapid succession. “Blake, I’m coming in.”

  Hoping like hell he has clothes on, I open the bedroom door and not seeing him anywhere, I dash through to the bathroom, and gasp when I see him struggling on the shower floor. Of course I notice his undressed state and I blink to try and focus on helping him instead of drooling over his delicious body.

  The bathroom is a wet room, which is as well, but it’s obvious he lost his balance while maneuvering to or from the chair.

  Coming back to my senses, I dash forward. “Let me help you.”

  His head snaps around and the look on his face sends a chill down my spine. “Get out,” he fumes. “I don’t need you.”

  “I can’t leave you,” I stumble toward him, and ignore the hateful look on his face.

  “Violet, just go.” He turns his face away. One hand holds him up on one side while the other tightens into a fist on his hip. “I don’t want you near me,” he hisses.

  Tears cloud my vision and as easy as it would be to leave him, I can’t. I need to make sure he’s okay first.

  I crouch over him from behind and immediately get soaked from the shower, and I’m close enough to hear the string of curses he lets loose before he turns to face me. “Violet, I don’t have any clothes on.” He hisses.

  “You’re kidding right?” I shake my head. “You are aware, that I don’t wear glasses? I can see you’re naked.”

  He tries to hold me away from him, but he’s in an awkward position and I manage to get in front of him. The full force of the shower now has me soaked as Blake tries to cover his junk with his hand. He isn’t as covered from my gaze as I think he’d like to be because the tip of his penis peaks out at the side of his wrist, just above his thumb. He curses and uses two hands to cover himself.

  I snap my eyes closed and slowly count to ten before opening them again. When I do, Blake is still looking at me as though he’d love to wring my neck.

  “Look,” I sigh, “I can’t go to my room without making sure you’re okay. I can’t leave you there, Blake. Please don’t ask me too.”

  Something shifts in his gaze and then I see the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallows. “Turn the shower off and pass me a towel, please.”

  “Thank you.” I sag in relief, and do as he’s asked.

  The towel is placed over his groin but I’m not sure it’s going to stay there when we move him. I keep quiet.

  Making sure the wheelchair has its wheels locked, I once again stand over Blake, and with trepidation, I lean forward and slide my arms around his waist. The citrus scent of Blake hits me and I close my eyes while I enjoy the feel of him.

  “God Violet,” he curses. “You’re soaked.”

  I shoot my gaze to Blake’s and feel my face heat because my towel isn’t the only thing soaked. “Shut up,” I snap. “If you don’t want to spend the night on the floor, I suggest you cooperate.”

  His eyes widen at my tone, and after he’s cleared his throat, he wiggles closer to his chair and helps me get him back into it, losing the towel over his groin in the process.

  We’re both winded in the effort, but I sure don’t miss the thick erection he’s unable to hide, or the way it jerks with my gaze on it.

  “Violet,” he hisses through clenched teeth.

  “You can’t blame me for looking.” I hide my embarrassment behind a cocky mask and raise a brow.

  “Perhaps if you weren’t flashing me your tits and pussy, I wouldn’t be so fucking hard,” he snarls.

  Shocked, I glance down and realize Blake isn’t the only one to have lost his covering. I shriek and quickly move away from him while grabbing at the soaked towel. I give up and turning my back, grab a dry towel from the rack in his bathroom, my face on fire.

  3

  Blake

  If all of the blood in my body wasn’t pulsing through my cock, I might have laughed at the situation, but as it is, I’m unable to focus on anything else. I thought I was doing okay until her towel had slipped and I’d gotten a glimpse of a firm, round tit with a hard cherry nipple begging for my mouth. Then the towel had fallen away altogether and I thought I’d come there and then.

  I’m sad when she covers her sweet bottom with the towel, and have seconds before another towel lands on my lap. I quickly grab it and make sure nothing else is showing before I meet her gaze, which is difficult as she’s looking anywhere but at me.

  “You’ll be okay now?” She shuffles toward the door and it’s on the tip of my tongue to apologize for yelling at her, instead I nod and watch her walk away.

  My heart feels heavy, and I don’t know what the hell to do about it. I thought I was okay with pushing her toward Deacon, but I’d been fooling myself. I’m not okay with it, but it’s what has to happen. He has a good career ahead of him, whereas I have nothing but medical bills.

  It’s about time I get my life back on track without being anywhere near Violet. I can’t continue to live with her while she dates someone else. It’s too much for me to handle. Plus, would she even want to date someone while I’m there to witness it? I wasn’t so sure.

  Heavily sighing and feeling what seems like the weight of the world on my shoulders, I slowly move into the bedroom and manage to roll myself onto the bed. Sliding between the sheets, I ignore my throbbing dick, and wonder how the hell I could make my apartment work for me, now that I’m confined to the chair. The doctors keep telling me that feeling in my legs could come back at any point, or not at all. They all tell me not to get my hopes up, even though there isn’t anything physically wrong anymore. It’s hard to hope, so I look to make the best out of the worst, I just don’t know where to start.

  Hearing a sudden buzzing, I turn and see my phone dancing on the side table with a picture of my sister lighting up the screen. I don’t really want to talk to her right now, but if I don’t answer she’ll have Kasey come and check on me.

  “Felicity, I’m fine,” I answer, settling back against the pillows.

  “No you are not,” she whispers. “If you were, you wouldn’t be suggesting Violet date Deacon! What is wrong with you? You broke her heart tonight.” She sighs. “You deserve to be happy Blake.” Her voice wavers.

  I rub at my brow. “Felicity, you’re not supposed to be getting upset.”

  “Then stop upsetting both Violet and yourself,” Kasey’s shout can be heard through the speaker.

  There is some exchange on their end, and then she whispers, “Please stop pushing her away when it’s obvious to everyone that you’re in love with her.”

  I don’t know what to say in response, so I cut this conversation off, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Hanging up, I drop my cell to the bed, rubbing my eyes in the process.

  My head is telling me I’m doing the right t
hing, but my heart is screaming in my chest, and my body aches for a fulfillment that I’m pretty sure only Violet can provide…and as much as it will kill me, once we get back to Great Falls, I need to move back home. No matter how much I want to stay, I can’t hang around and watch her be with someone else.

  “Blake,” she whispers, snapping my surprised gaze to the doorway. She hovers, half hidden by the doorframe, wearing shorts and a tight vest with thick hockey socks on her feet, making me smile.

  “Well now I know why I can never find my socks.” I raise a brow. “They look much better on you than they ever did on me.” I chuckle.

  Briefly grinning, she moves closer, and asks, “Can we talk?” chewing lightly on her bottom lip. “I think we need to otherwise I won’t be able to sleep.”

  I swallow hard and track her as she sits tentatively on the side of the bed close by my hip. Her eyes caress shyly over me, moving up past my groin until she finally holds my gaze.

  I start off sternly, “We do need to talk but I’d planned on waiting until we were home.”

  There’s a slight pause as she gathers her thoughts and seemingly her confidence.

  “You meant what you said, didn’t you? You really want me to date Deacon?” she sighs.

  It’s difficult to hold her gaze, but I do. “Yes.” My voice cracks.

  Her eyes fill gently with tears as she finally looks away.

  “Okay, I guess there’s nothing much to talk about then,” she mumbles, scrambling to leave the room just as swiftly as she’d appeared, taking the shattered pieces of my heart along with her.

  4

  Violet

  It’s been a week since we returned home and it’s beyond obvious that Blake is trying to avoid me. I would have said it was difficult to do, considering he’s confined to a wheelchair, but that doesn’t seem to hinder his ability to disappear one bit. He’s out early, and then he doesn’t come back until after dinner.

  I’m afraid to ask him where he’s spending his time in case the answer breaks my heart even more than he already has. He’s stubborn, which is why I haven’t pushed him to accept what we mean to each other. He’s made up his mind and there is no changing it.

  Him and his stubbornness!

  Rapidly blinking to get rid of the glassy tears, I pour a cup of black coffee and wrapping my hands around it, I stare placidly out of the back window, contemplating what I should do about my date with Deacon. I certainly don’t want to lead him on; he doesn’t deserve that.