Love in Surrender

by Lexi Buchanan

  Her eyes roll. “Don’t let that go to your head.”

  “It’s already gone to the lower one.” I wink cheekily.

  She gasps and tosses a dishtowel at me, which I catch as she slides her ass onto the table in front of me, a serious expression on her face. I wrap my arms around her hips and rest my chin on her knees. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

  “I’m your physical therapist,” she bites her lower lip, tempting me to taste it with my tongue, “I’m supposed to know when there are changes happening in your body.”

  “Violet, you saw enough changes in my body last night,” I tease, and then become serious. “I didn’t want you to know. It’s difficult letting you down, and if I got your hopes up as well as my own, it would kill me if nothing came of it … then you went and got in bed with me and you know the rest.”

  Her fingers slide into my hair and she starts gently massaging my scalp. “Will you promise to be honest with me from this point forward? About everything? No pushing me away, no trying to protect me. I’ve only ever seen you in the wheelchair Blake. I want you to walk for yourself and no one else. My feelings are not going to change.” She kisses my forehead and quickly moves away, but not before I catch her blinking away tears.

  Clearing my throat, I say, “I promise Violet,” hoarsely.

  Violet dashes around the kitchen while my eyes track her movements. I’ve always noticed her, but now I’m noticing her in another way. I realize that I want her in my life regardless of whether or not my legs ever work again. She has stuck by me from the beginning so that right there should tell me what an ass I’ve been and how blind I really was to how she’d felt.

  My sister and Kasey have a lot to do with my change toward Violet. All of a sudden, my life had flashed before my eyes, and I’d realized how much I needed to change. But as I watched Violet make sure I was there from the beginning yesterday, I realize she’d really been mine all along. It just took me a while to catch on to the idea.

  Until I’ve proven myself to her, I’m not sure if I have the right to ask her to stay here instead of getting on the flight to Boston in the morning. I don’t want her to go anywhere unless I’m with her. Would she really leave for good though? I hope not.

  12

  Violet

  Busying myself in the kitchen is the easiest thing to do while Blake stares off into space, lost in his thoughts. A deep frown spreads across his features while he glares daggers into the table.

  He’s making me nervous. Last night had been a dream come true for me and I’d never felt as close to anyone as I did him. I think I’m waiting for him to tell me that it was a one off and he wants me to date other men again. I wouldn’t put it past him, even though I want to put my trust in him—us. I gave him everything I had last night regardless of the embarrassment I’d hidden well.

  I want last night to be the start of something amazing and lifelong between us and I’m tense waiting for him to say something. His dark expression doesn’t change as he lifts his head and stares openly at me while I lean against the countertop.

  “I wonder if Kasey is going to come back,” Blake muses, wheeling closer. “Because I think this chair has it’s advantages right now.” His hands touch my legs and slowly glide up and down beneath his jersey that I’ve been itching to wear from the moment I’d seen it, in his closet.

  “You like me in your jersey, huh?” I lift myself up and backwards onto the counter and spread my thighs when he gets as close as he can, setting the brakes on his chair.

  Holding my eyes, he shoves the front of the jersey up to my belly. “I love you in anything, but,” he grabs my hips and tugs me closer, kissing my mound, “seeing you in my jersey is sexy as hell … and my socks,” he growls, planting his face in my lap. “I’m barely holding on to my control right now.”

  “I’m afraid Blake.”

  He holds me tightly, bunching the jersey in his strong grip.

  “I’m scared too Violet. I’ve pushed and pulled with you, and I’m scared that you’ll finally see sense and find someone else. Part of me knows you won’t but another part of me thinks I’d deserve it.”

  My fingers massage his neck and the groan that he releases burns through my body. Smiling and wanting to urge him on, I move my legs over his shoulders. He says something, his words mumbled against my skin as his hand’s tremble.

  When he lifts his head, his eyes blaze into mine and the heat scorches me to my soul.

  “Lose the jersey and lean back on your elbows,” he growls, wiggling his tongue before he dips it between my swollen folds.

  He needn’t have asked me to lean back because the first touch of his tongue drops me backwards against the hard countertop. I guess I should be glad it’s the island in the middle of the kitchen otherwise I’d have cracked my head on the wall.

  Blake hisses, pressing and tickling my clit before his tongue dips into my sex. He pants. “You taste so fucking good.” He fucks and sucks me so hard that I can’t think as I feel my release getting closer and closer. “I’m going to bust a nut in my shorts when you come,” he whispers, kissing the lips of my pussy.

  His hands grip my hips, his fingers spreading over my bottom as he tugs me from the counter. His mouth eats me. There’s no other word for it. But I don’t want to come like this. I want to be on him. I want to be wrapped in his arms while he holds me close.

  “Stop!” I hiss.

  He pauses and glances at my face.

  “I need you.” I wiggle my legs free of his shoulders and he tugs me to my feet.

  His breath his harsh and appears to be in time to the pulse of his penis as the huge tent in his shorts jerks, leaking onto the material. Blake watches me through hooded lids. But in seconds I have his shorts yanked over his groin and I’m straddling him, sliding down his solid erection.

  Pressing closer, I yank Blake’s jersey up and off, tossing it to the floor and then I’m wrapping myself around him. My breasts against his chest. My core throbs from just the feel of him inside of me and around me, but as I gently rock he surprises me and swells even more. “Big,” I whisper. “You’re so big. I don’t even need you to move and I’m ready to come.”

  “Violet,” he pants. “Don’t talk … struggling … for control.”

  Seriously!

  I don’t want him in control. I want him to lose it with me.

  My hips slowly rock causing a delicious friction and then I whisper in his ear, “Your cock is really thick, umm, long. It feels ten times better than when I use my finger to get myself off.”

  “Fuck!” he curses, his arms around me keep me locked against him, but all I feel is him; his warm body against mine, the way his heart pounds against my breast, the way his penis throbs in time to my own pulsating body.

  I’m so ready to come, but I want him to release with me, so knowing how much he loves my filthy mouth, I moan into his ear, “When I have my own finger in my panties, I imagine it’s you. I Imagine you ripping them off my body with your teeth before you fuck me into oblivion.”

  His hisses between his teeth and comes. The minute I feel the first splash of his release against me, my core clenches and convulses around the thick shaft, squeezing him. Needing him to fill me. Wanting all he has to give me.

  Locked in each other’s embrace, our skin slowly cools along with our lust.

  “You unman me,” he whispers, removing his face from my chest, but not before he places a wet kiss to each of my nipples. “God, I love your tits.”

  I roll my eyes. “I think we need to get cleaned up just in case Kasey comes back.”

  “Hmm,” he agrees but doesn’t let me go. “But I love you being exactly where you are right now.”

  My fingernails gently dig into his shoulders. “I like being here too, but it’s going to be embarrassing if someone catches us like this.”

  “I think I’d have to kill them if they caught you naked,” he growls.

  “Then I think it would be a good idea if y
ou let me go,” I suggest and then chuckle. “I need another shower.”

  He shakes his head. “No way. I want to know that my release is still inside of your tight pussy.”

  “Is this some primitive thing?” I raise my brow.

  “It’s a guy thing.” He smirks. “Dogs cock their legs and pee, men pump everything they have between the legs of the woman who belongs to them.” He grins, pleased with himself. “You’re mine babe.” His mouth clamps together when he lifts me off of him.

  He feels too good and I really wish he’d work his way back inside of me, and for a moment I can see him thinking about it before closing his eyes.

  I find my feet, my legs quivering slightly as I try to find my balance. The sight of Blake with his penis glistening against his stomach is about as hot as his gaze is when it connects to mine. “We need to eat and leave the house otherwise I’m going to be keeping you naked.”

  Bending, I pick up our jerseys, tossing Blake’s to him. He’s already covered his groin as I get myself covered up. The air around us is thick and heavy, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do next. I’ve never been in a relationship before. Well, if that’s what this is. But I’ve certainly never cooked breakfast and had sex in a kitchen.

  “You know the first thing I’m going to do, the moment I graduate from a wheelchair to my feet?”

  I hold his gaze and he continues, “I’m going to fuck you up against a wall. It’s going to be raw, dirty, and probably so damn quick, but the image in my head.” He shakes his head and grins. “Wet pussy around my cock and large boobies in my hands.” He wiggles his brows and I laugh, I’m so damn aroused that I’m seconds from jumping him.

  Blake becomes serious. “Actually, I think that’s the second. The first would be holding you in my arms while we slow dance to that song you play over and over again. The one you once commented that it was the most romantic song you’d ever heard.” He sighs. “I’d wine and dine you like a princess, and then we’d dance.”

  Tears hover on my lashes as I hear the way he wants to romance me, and one tear falls when I witness his dream fade in his eyes. My arms go around him as I get comfortable on his lap. “When,” I give him a pointed look, “you get to that point, I would love to do that … but, just knowing how you want to romance me is enough Blake. We can still do everything you want, just slightly differently.” I play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I need you to believe me because it hurts so much when you don’t.”

  “I do believe you. I just … wish I had more to offer you than my broken body.” He rests his forehead against mine as his voice catches.

  I hold him close, and admit, “You’re in my heart, and I’ve never once thought of you as broken.” I kiss the top of his head when he keeps his face hidden in the crook of my shoulder, so I try and lighten the sudden dull mood. “I’ve only ever thought of you as sexy and hot.”

  He stills at my words and finally lifts his gaze, so I continue, “The way your muscles flex and move when you’re working out or just plain moving around in this chair. Just the sight of you has always made my heart pound and my panties wet.”

  “I like that end part,” he agrees.

  “Thought you might.” I quickly kiss him on the lips. “So, let me go and get cleaned up so I no longer have you running down my thighs, and then I’ll finish breakfast.”

  Grinning, I jump from his lap. “Call Kasey and find out if he’s joining us.”

  Blake groans. “You’re an evil woman, Violet.”

  I follow his gaze to his lap and the erection poking upwards.

  13

  Blake

  The night and morning I’d spent with Violet had been amazing and for the first time since the accident, I felt like a whole man. It isn’t easy having to rely on the chair or on Violet, but I do. Except maybe I can learn to be more dependent on myself for once.

  Which is why I’m with Kasey’s older brother, Aiden, as we listen to the sales man waffle on and on about the adapted car. I’m in two minds about it because it isn’t my truck. I love my truck, which is currently being used back home by my friend Roger. At least I know he’ll look after it. But I miss that thing … and him.

  When I’d mentioned to Aiden about starting to think about the future and the fact that I might be stuck in the wheelchair for the rest of my life, it was him who suggested we visited here. A friend of his from Aiden’s racing days owns this dealership, but my heart feels heavy.

  I’m hoping I’ll suddenly get the use of my legs back, but am I just kidding myself? Perhaps I am in some way. I really don’t know. Even though I had readily agreed to this visit, I’m struggling to look over toward the vehicle in question.

  I don’t want to learn to drive an adapted vehicle, and if I’m not careful I’m going to be throwing a toddler fit. The only reason I’m here is because I want to be able to do things for Violet instead of her having to do everything for the both of us. I’d be able to go to the local farmers market and get the food she likes, I know how much she hates going. She hates the gossiping amongst the locals and the way they look at her because she’s from out of town. Personally, I don’t give a shit how they look at me, but her, it pisses me off.

  “You haven’t heard a word he said, huh?” Aiden stares at me and I realize the guy has disappeared. “Figures.”

  “Aiden, I’m sorry. I know gaining more independence was my idea but now I’m here I’m struggling to accept that this is my life. It’s never been so apparent as it is now that I’m facing an adaptive car.”

  Aiden’s thoughtful and then without saying anything, he pushes me toward the vehicle and doesn’t stop until we’re at the open driver’s door. “Look at it Blake. The only difference is there are no peddles. The controls are all in hands reach. Other than that, everything else is exactly the same.”

  “How would I get the chair in the car if I’m already in it?” I frown. “I’d more than likely have help at home, but not at my destination.”

  Aiden glances back. “You’re right … They have the large vehicles with a ramp into the back—” he trails off. “Or not.”

  “I don’t think I really thought this through.” I glance away, my dreams of shopping for Violet fading. “Can you drop me at the gym?”

  He nods. “Let’s go.”

  Inside the car I stare out of the front window while Aiden shoves my chair into the trunk.

  “I should have thought this idea through more, or at least researched vehicles online first. I’d have been better prepared.” I pensively mutter to Aiden.

  “I’m here to help you when you’re ready, Blake.”

  “I appreciate it, thank you.”

  Aiden smirks and shakes his head. “Nothing to appreciate. We’re family. We’re there for each other … you Just have to ask, Blake.” He pulls up in front of the gym and gives me the time I need to get myself back into the wheelchair. “I’m going picking a few things up for Sarah.” His gaze softens when he mentions his pregnant wife. “Call me when you’re ready to head back. I’m your ride for today.” He grins.

  I roll my eyes and shove toward the gym, gliding through the automatic doors, and only then do I let my smile slip. I know Aiden didn’t mean anything with his words, but it was more of a reminder that Violet isn’t around than anything.

  She’s kept her interview in Boston but insisted that the only reason she still went was because she didn’t want to ruin her chances of something in the future by cancelling on them at the last minute. I still don’t understand why she went because surely, she intends on turning it down if she gets the offer. So I don’t see the difference between cancelling and rejecting the job offer.

  “Blake, no Violet?” my gym instructor asks.

  I grit my teeth, and snap. “No.” His eyes always follow Violet and it grates on my damn nerves. Half of the time I think he only does it because he knows how much it pisses me off. I work harder when I’m angry, which he’s figured out.

  “Warm up.” He h
olds the door open as I wheel into the gym and over to the room at the back. The table is low enough to begin with, so I drag myself onto it.

  Mitch takes the table up and quickly starts working the muscles in my legs. As his hands rub and knead into my thighs, I suddenly start feeling like I’m being stabbed with thousands of needles and gasp for breath. He stops and looks hard at me while I pant and try to catch my breath. “Needles.”

  Immediately he knows what I’m talking about. “Tell me where it hurts the most.”

  He’s taking his time, so I lean forward and press on my thigh, wishing for the pain to go away. It’s not a small case of pins and needles, it’s a full on attack centered in the middle of my left thigh. As soon as I point the spot out, Mitch knocks my hands away and warns, “This will probably hurt to begin with.”

  The minute his words leave his mouth, he presses and massages the center of the pain. I have to clench my jaw tightly together to prevent my shout of pain escaping. When it finally ends subsides to a slight ache, I sag against the table, sweat pouring from me.

  “I think,” Mitch grins above me, “that things are looking on the more positive side.”

  “I wish,” I moan.

  “Blake, the pain you felt this time was more intense than the other times, right?”

  I reluctantly nod my head.

  He doesn’t reply, he just starts working on my right leg, telling me to relax. It’s easier said than done after what happened with my left leg. I’m waiting for the pain to rush through me. It does but nowhere near as painful as it did in my other leg.

  “Let’s hit the weights before I send you home. Might as well get a full work out, even though you look like you’ve done double already.”

  “Geez thanks.” I groan, rolling back into the wheelchair.

  “You okay?” he asks, frowning.

  “Peachy.”

  “Blake, when the pain took over, could you feel my hands?”

  I contemplate what Mitch is asking, but at the time I was in too much pain to even think about it. Now though I think and realize that maybe I did feel something more.

  My eyes snap up to his. “Thought so.” He smirks and heads off onto the main floor of the gym as I follow behind at a slower pace. I’ve had pins and needles before, but nothing like what I felt today. The pain was incredible, and yes, I still felt his fingers digging into my thigh muscles.