by Nia Arthurs
“You are.” He takes my hand. His large thumb caresses the back of it. “I like you, Gwen.”
The earth stops spinning.
I stop breathing.
Is this a dream? Someone please pinch me.
I lean over, gasping for breath. “W-what?”
“I like you,” he says again. “And not like a sister.”
I like you.
So simple. So beautiful. What was stuck in my throat for a decade just rolled off his tongue as smooth as butter.
I clutch my chest. It’s still hard to breathe.
“That’s why I came tonight.” He scoots closer to me. I take a huge breath of his heavenly scent. It’s hard to hear what he’s saying over my racing pulse. “Because I wanted to tell you how I felt.”
I lean in and sniff him, burying my nose in his shirt.
Danny laughs. “What are you doing?”
I look up, eyebrow arched in suspicion. “You’re not drunk, right?”
He places his hand on either side of my jaw, cradling my chin in his palms. I adore the roughness of his fingertips. The way the callouses rasp over my skin. I tremble again, undone by the smolder in his dark eyes.
But instead of kissing my mouth, Danny rises slightly and presses his lips against my forehead. It’s sweet. Tender. Gentle.
But I wish he’d skip all that and just kiss me properly.
When he eases back, I see the fight in his gleaming black eyes. He wants to kiss me. Desire screams from every inch of his expression, but he doesn’t make a move.
Guess it’s up to me.
I zero in on his perfect lips. How hard can it be to kiss someone? I’ve seen it in movies a thousand times. Heck, Winnie just gave me an intense tutorial.
I wave the thought away. Forget about Winnie. This is me.
My body leans over. My eyes fall shut.
Then I kiss him.
It’s a whisper soft touch. I don’t know what I’m doing yet. But it’s Danny.
My first love is also my first kiss.
I’m almost afraid to open my eyes, but when I do I notice Danny staring at me. I smile and admit, “I like you too.”
16 Danny
“Gwen? How about we watch a movie and…?” My voice falls to a mere whisper when I see Gwen sprawled out on the sofa, dead to the world.
I tiptoe over to her and kneel beside the couch, trying not to make a sound in case I wake her. Long black hair spills past her shoulders. The light dances over her brown skin and fluttering black eyelashes.
“How can she sleep right now?” I grumble.
After kissing me, Gwen seemed eager to continue. I was just as eager to accommodate her. But my sister called and spoiled the entire mood. I stepped away to answer, afraid it had to do with my meeting tomorrow.
I knew I should have let Emily’s call go to voicemail.
Gwen snorts in her sleep. A smile climbs my face despite my slight disappointment.
She’s cute.
Since there’s no hope of me going to sleep now, I grab a broom and dustpan. The putrid scent of the puke by the wall is overpowering. My eyes water, but I slip a plastic bag over my hand and clean it up so Gwen doesn’t have to.
By the time I’ve set the house back in order and cleared away all the beer bottles it’s almost three in the morning.
I’m exhausted. My back is aching. I’m pretty sure some puke splattered on my shirt.
But it doesn’t matter.
I told Gwen how I felt and she didn’t reject me. I could clean the entire street and not complain.
Light snoring comes from the living room. When I venture in, I see Gwen with one leg hanging off the cushions and her head tilted at an odd angle. My heart does a weird somersault.
Even now, with a bit of drool hanging from her mouth, she’s gorgeous.
I walk over, not bothering to quiet my thudding steps.
Gwen sits up and yells, “I’m not drooling!”
I snicker and fall in beside her. “You must have been tired.”
She smiles sheepishly and wipes the side of her mouth with her shirt. “I get drowsy whenever I eat late at night. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“It’s fine.” I drape my arm on the back of the sofa. “Did you know that you snore?”
“I do not!” She flinches. “Do I?”
“Just a little bit…”
“I’ll deny it to my dying day.” Her voice is husky from sleep and when she blinks at me, I get the sense she’s not fully awake. Comfortable silence falls between us. She blinks lazily. “Is this a dream?”
I shake my head. “No. This is real.”
“It has to be a dream. A good one.” Gwen pulls her knees to her chest and cuddles her head against my side.
I try not to dwell on why the thought of Gwen dreaming about me makes me feel like I just won a million bucks.
“Whatever you do, never stop wearing this cologne, Danny.”
“I don’t wear cologne. It’s probably my body wash.”
“Whatever.” She rubs her cheek against me like a cat.
I clear my throat. “Tomorrow, when I go back home, I’ll talk to Aiden.”
“About what?”
“Us.”
“You can’t.” Gwen scrambles up, her hair flying into her face. “Don’t tell him.”
“Whatever he throws at me, I can take it.” I rub my chin, imagining another bruise there.
“Can’t we keep it a secret for a little while?” Gwen asks, fully awake now.
I brush her hair behind her ear. “Impossible. I like you too much.”
Instead of smiling, she bats my hand away. “Aiden’s already going through so much with Melissa and my parents. He’ll lose it if we tell him now. And then there’s Winnie…”
“Winnie?” I lean away from her. “You’re worried about Winnie?”
“She acted crazy tonight because she was drunk and miserable, but she really likes you. Before we make it public, I want to talk to her.”
I fold my arms over my chest. “We shouldn’t live our lives based on what people think.”
“Really?” One side of her lip curves up in a crooked smirk. “That’s your advice?”
“Like I said before. Aiden and Gwen aren’t my elders. They’re my friends. They don’t control me or dictate who I care about.”
Fear of messing up my friendship with Aiden is what kept me from making a move on Gwen earlier. I needed to make sure what I was feeling was real.
Now I know it’s real. And Aiden’s opinion doesn’t mean jack. When I raced to Belmopan, I understood what it meant and I was prepared to talk to my best friend about our relationship.
“Give me a little time. Hm?” Gwen pushes out her bottom lip and widens her eyes. “Besides, I spent ten years pining after you. I want you all to myself before the entire world has an opinion.”
I tilt my head, mentally calculating. “Did you just say… ten years?”
Gwen rubs the back of her neck. “Don’t look at me like that. I know it’s pathetic.”
“It’s not pathetic.” I grin. “Why didn’t you say anything before?”
“And risk major humiliation? No thanks. You made it clear I was like a sister to you.” She rolls her eyes so hard I’m surprised they’re still in her head. “So I watched you from afar and tried to get over my crush, but as you can see… it didn’t work.”
“I’m glad it didn’t.” I kiss her softly. Savoring her. Gwen’s lips taste like honey.
I have no idea how that’s possible.
Her hands wrap around my neck and she presses flush against my body. Gwen mimics everything I do, moving her mouth with mine.
I’m going slow because I don’t want this fire burning inside to rage out of control, but it gets harder the longer we kiss.
Gwen’s got her values. So do I. The last thing I want to do is push her. Despite how much I want to lean her back against the sofa and help her out of that dress.
“Mm,” sh
e says when I ease away. “That’s going to get addicting. I’m calling it.”
I chuckle. “You should go to sleep. I have a meeting tomorrow so I probably won’t be here when you wake up.”
“Can’t you sleep with me then?”
I freeze. I’m not sure if she’s being suggestive or if she’s just that innocent. “Say that again?”
“We don’t have to do anything.” Hope rises in her eyes. “We can just—”
“Honey, if you understood how attractive you are to me, you wouldn’t ask that.”
She winces. “Sorry.”
I kiss her forehead instead of her lips this time. “Good night.”
“Good night, Danny.” She gives me a shy smile. “Sweet dreams.”
I watch Gwen walk away, a stupid grin on my face. I don’t need sweet dreams. Reality is way better.
* * *
After my meeting with the contractor, I return to Belize City. I wanted to hang with Gwen, but she’s at Britney and Winnie’s apartment. According to Gwen’s text, Winnie is ‘sorting things out’.
Whatever that means.
I called Aiden on my way up to find out what his plans for the day were, but he’s taking Melissa to her first prenatal check-up at the hospital.
Out of options, I drive to my family home.
I hope my parents never find out they’re my third option.
Sweat forms on the back of my neck as I jog past the store and open the side gate. It was nearly impossible for me to find parking downtown. I’m glad the shop is doing well, but walking ten blocks just to visit my parents can get annoying.
My frustration melts the moment I make eye contact with my mother. She welcomes me with sparkling eyes. Mom doesn’t smile often, but I see the corners of her lips perking up.
“To what do we owe the honor?”
“Can’t a boy visit his mother for no reason?”
“Not this boy.” She pats my cheek. “Come in. I was just about to make chow mein.”
“Sounds great.”
I follow her deeper into the living room, past the golden cat and the red banners on the wall. Dad is sleeping in his favorite armchair, but he opens his eyes and sits straighter when Mom announces my entrance.
“How were things in Belmopan?” Dad asks, rubbing his eyes. “I heard there were some problems.”
“Nothing worrisome. We’re working on getting things back on track.”
“You need to stay focused.” Dad lowers his chin. His face is more wrinkled than I remember. It saddens me to see my parents getting old.
“I am. We’ll make the store a success. You can count on it.”
“Here, Daniel.” Mom returns to the living room with a tray of sliced apples. “Would you like some fruit?”
“Thank you.”
I observe both my parents as they reach over to pluck the apples with tiny forks. We chat about my siblings, Richie’s wedding and Jenifer’s piano recital. Mom and Dad speak to me in Chinese, while I answer in English.
It’s been that way since… forever. I can’t imagine anything different.
“Oh Daniel, did you hear about Jin Ong?” Mom sets her fork on the now empty plate.
“Jin Ong? Isn’t he the guy who used to like Emily?”
‘Like’ is an understatement. Jin was so head-over-heels for Emily that his parents visited mine, intending to negotiate the terms of an engagement. Emily put a stop to it at once and insisted she wasn’t ready to get married.
“I heard he ran away from home and eloped with a Spanish girl.”
“A Spanish girl?” Dad gasps, scandalized.
“Can you imagine that?” Mom chuckles. Tendrils of her fluffy black hair cling to her pale neck. “She’s Spanish. He’s Chinese. How will they communicate?”
“In English?”
“It’s too frightening to think about.” Mom shudders, ignoring me. “I’m grateful all my children know better. It’s so easy to be led astray nowadays.”
“Jin wasn’t ‘led astray’. He fell in love with someone who happens to be a different race. There are worse things.”
“I agree,” Dad says.
Mom gives him a look and then turns her sharp eyes on me. “Mixing cultures is a recipe for failure. Take Aiden’s sister for example.”
Where is she going with this?
“Are you talking about Gwen?”
“Her parents are both accomplished, intelligent people. Their daughter is a wonderful person and would be acceptable to most, but how would she fit into our family? We speak another language. We live by rules most Belizeans don’t understand or respect.”
“Gwen would respect our rules even if she doesn’t agree with them.” I frown. “You don’t know her.”
“It’s just an example, Daniel.”
“I don’t understand why you’re so against interracial marriages. We know tons of Asian couples who are miserable. Being Asian doesn’t automatically make a relationship work.”
“‘A fish cannot fall in love with a bird. Where would it build its nest?’ Have you heard that saying before?”
“Unfortunately.”
“It is the same way with love.” Mom nods. “We welcome friends of all colors and sizes. We serve them in our stores. But we do not get married to them. It is better to build a foundation with someone who shares your values and beliefs, than one who does not.”
“My values and beliefs have nothing to do with my race.”
“They have everything to do with your race. Being Asian is in your blood; it is your culture!”
“That’s enough.” Dad pats her hand. His wise brown eyes slide to me. It feels like I’m a teenager again and Dad just caught me in a lie.
I avoid his gaze.
Now is not the time to mention my relationship with Gwen.
“You are both getting heated over nothing,” Dad says. “Let’s talk of something more pleasant.”
My father changes the subject, but I’m no longer listening. My mind wanders down the path to the future. If things between Gwen and me get serious, will my mother ever accept us?
Do I want to put her in a situation where my family will reject her?
I can’t give Gwen up, but I’m starting to wonder if that’s the best option for the both of us.
17 Gwen
“Guys, I’ll be right back. I need to take this.” I hold my phone to my racing heart. My lips twitch. It’s a struggle to hide the goofy smile that seeing Danny’s name on my screen produces.
“Who is it?” Winnie asks, her gaze severe. Yesterday’s indulgence produced dark circles beneath her eyes. She’s wrapped in a loose white T-shirt and cotton shorts. Both her knees are pulled to her chest as Britney carefully straightens her weave.
“Nobody.” I laugh nervously. “I’ll be right back.”
Britney waggles a manicured finger. Her short hair is pulled back into a ponytail. A heavy blush turns her pale cheeks into ripe apples. “Make sure you don’t do anything to mess up your toes.”
“I got it!” I yell, scrambling off the bed.
“I mean it, Gwen. If I see so much as a smudge, I’ll beat you myself.”
I slam the door on her warning and dart down the hall. When I’m safely locked in the bathroom, I move the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Hey, beautiful.”
Danny’s voice rumbles over me, making me feel small and precious.
I still can’t believe I kissed Danny last night.
And then he kissed me back. A lot.
It was fantastic.
“Hey, Danny.” An unsophisticated giggle erupts from my lips. I turn to the mirror. The girl looking back is grinning from ear-to-ear.
Is that me?
“What are you doing right now?”
“Right this minute? Or right before you called me?”
He chuckles. “Both?”
“Before you called I was with Winnie and Britney. We’re having a girl’s night—facials, mani pedis, and hair treatments. Right now,
I’m sitting on the toilet.” I realize what I’ve said and wince. “Not that I’m using it. I’m just hiding out in the bathroom so they don’t overhear.”
“You’re really exposing it all now that you have me, aren’t you?”
“Would you shut up? You know what I meant.”
Danny’s laughter makes me warm all over. He lowers his voice and admits, “I missed you this morning.”
“Missed you too. I tried to set my alarm, but I didn’t hear anything.” I adjust myself on the toilet so I don’t move around too much and damage my toe polish.
“Don’t worry. I heard your alarm. I even tried to wake you, but it was like shaking a carcass. Thank God we don’t have tornadoes in this part of the Caribbean or you’d sleep through one.”
“See… now you’re just being mean. Should I start listing your bad habits?”
“Please don’t. I’m a sensitive guy. My ego’s too fragile.”
I snort. “What ego?”
“I’ll let that slide because I’m in a good mood.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy.” I move the phone to my other ear. “How were your parents?”
He pauses a beat too long before he replies in a cheerful tone. “They’re good. Excited about Richie’s wedding next week.”
I want to call him out on the hesitation but let it slide for now. “How’s he coping?”
“He’s nervous, but he’ll go through with it. He has to.”
There’s an edge to Danny’s voice that makes me nervous. I lick my lips. “It’s a good thing your parents aren’t as traditional as Richie’s or I’d be worried.”
“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “You should get back to your girl’s night. Tell Britney and Gwen I said they’re bad influences.”
“I am not gonna do that.”
“I figured.”
My hands twine around the ends of my hair. “I was thinking of heading down to the city this Friday. Would you like to do something together?”
“It’s a date.”
I smile. “Great.”
After we hang up, I remain in place and bunch my fingers against my cheeks. I’ve got to wipe this grin off my face. Brit and Win are like relationship bloodhounds. They’ll pounce on me the minute I walk back in if I can’t fix my expression.
