Tomorrow's Lullaby

by Lindzee Armstrong

  “I’m Aaron’s girlfriend.” The word felt strange on Sienna’s lips, but she liked it. “My name’s Sienna.”

  “Oh, it’s so nice to meet you. I love little Aarón.” She pronounced his name with the accent, just like his family did. “When he was younger, Jessica brought him over all the time so I could teach him Spanish.”

  Aaron had mentioned his parents made him learn Spanish. Learning a foreign language was good for a child, but it was a little strange they’d pushed the matter so hard when he clearly had resisted. “Did his sisters come, too?” Sienna asked.

  “No, they never had time. But Jessica thought it important that Aarón be connected to his culture. The adoption agency told them his birth mother was Mexican.”

  “Did Aaron like to come?” Sienna asked.

  Camilla pursed her lips. “He never seemed very interested and didn’t work very hard at his lessons. But he was always respectful, and I enjoyed having him over.”

  Aaron strode across the yard, a broad smile on his face. He immediately leaned down and hugged the tiny woman. “Camilla, I’ve missed you. How are you?”

  “Estoy bien. Ella es muy bonita.”

  Aaron grinned. “Yes, she is.”

  “En español, muchacho.”

  “Sienna doesn’t speak Spanish. These days, I only use it in my language classes.”

  “Ah. You can teach her.”

  “Maybe one day,” Aaron said.

  Sienna could tell from the tone of his voice that what he really meant was no way.

  “I don’t know many Spanish speakers in Pennsylvania,” Aaron continued.

  “That’s too bad,” Camilla said. “I’m sure there’s a strong Mexican community somewhere in Philadelphia. Dia de los Muertos is only a couple of weeks away. I’m sure there will be parties where you could make friends.”

  Sienna raised an eyebrow. “Aaron has friends in Philadelphia. There’s me . . . Evan . . . his roommate, Lane . . .”

  Aaron smirked. “I haven’t been in the city long yet.”

  “You must find the Mexican community,” Camilla said. “I’ll ask my granddaughter to look on the internet for you.”

  Okay, Camilla seemed to be pushing the culture thing pretty hard. But she was an eccentric neighbor—not family. Yes, his family pronounced his name with a Spanish accent. But it wasn’t uncommon for adoptive parents to try and honor their child’s heritage when choosing a name. Yes, his sisters seemed to leave him out a lot. But they were three bossy women—Sienna doubted it had anything to do with the adoption.

  “We’re going to sing to Mom and start serving cake now,” Lisa called across the crowd.

  “It was nice seeing you, Camilla,” Aaron said. He took Sienna’s hand and pulled her away.

  “We’ll talk later,” Camilla called.

  The crowd had congregated around the birthday cake. Aaron and Sienna slipped into the outer edge, where they could just see Jessica. She glowed as they all sang Happy Birthday, her cheeks flushed a becoming pink.

  Jessica blew out her candles, and everyone clapped.

  “Look how happy Mom is,” Aaron said. “I’m glad we came.”

  “Me too.” Seeing his family went a long way toward helping her understand him.

  “Come grab some birthday cake,” Dana called to the guests. “Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting . . . Mom’s favorite!”

  “Mmmm.” Aaron nuzzled Sienna’s ear. “My favorite, too.”

  Lisa breezed by them. “I almost forgot—we bought flan for you, Aarón. It’s in the kitchen. Why don’t you take Camilla a piece, too?”

  Sienna’s mouth dropped open. “Flan?”

  “Oh yes,” Lisa said. “It’s a traditional Mexican dessert. Mom always makes sure we have some on hand for Aarón when there’s a celebration. I knew she’d get mad if I forgot. It’s from the bakery—sorry, I didn’t have time to bake it myself. Don’t forget Camilla.” Lisa waved, disappearing into the crowd.

  Aaron clenched his jaw. “Have you tried flan? It’s got the strongest taste—like honey mixed with cheese that went bad. It’s disgusting.”

  “So why don’t you tell them?” Sienna asked.

  “I have. But they can’t seem to grasp that not all Mexicans love all Mexican foods.” Aaron tugged her toward the dessert table. “C’mon, let’s sneak some carrot cake and go eat it where they won’t harass me.”

  This was getting weirder and weirder. A traditional Mexican dessert? An accent in his first name? Spanish lessons with the grandmotherly Hispanic neighbor? It seemed a little much.

  They did treat Aaron differently. Not because they were trying to be cruel, but because they were trying so hard to respect his heritage. Sienna could see how isolated that made Aaron feel.

  Guests started to leave as the sun sank lower on the horizon. By the time the last guest left, it was completely dark.

  “Leave the cleanup for tomorrow,” Jessica said, wrapping an arm around Aaron’s waist. “The girls can help us after you leave.”

  “We don’t mind helping, Mom,” Aaron said.

  Frank grunted and waved a hand. Aaron’s father was tall, with the build of a football player who’d stopped exercising. He hadn’t spoken much and had a severe face that was more than a little intimidating. “You ain’t helpin’ with nothin’,” he said. “Go visit with yer mom and sisters.” He leaned down, kissing his wife on the cheek. “I’m going to go watch the game highlights. Happy birthday, dear.”

  “Thank you, dear.” Jessica patted Frank’s cheek, then started shooing everyone inside. “You heard your father. This can wait until tomorrow.”

  Frank disappeared into the den with a bottle of beer, and Aaron’s nieces and nephews ran around the house with reckless abandon. Jessica paused in the kitchen, pointing to the untouched flan that sat in a clear plastic container on the counter.

  “What’s this?” she asked, pulling the flan toward her. “Dana, didn’t you tell Aarón his flan was in here?”

  Lisa put a hand on her hip and glared. “I thought I told you to share a piece with Camilla.”

  “I don’t like flan!” Aaron threw up his hands. “How many times do I have to tell you?”

  “There’s no need to be embarrassed. We don’t mind buying something different for you. Here, we’ll all have a piece.” Jessica pulled a knife from a drawer. “Madison, grab six plates.”

  “I’m twenty-two years old, Mom—I don’t feel a compulsion to hide my opinions.”

  “Honestly, it’s no trouble. The plates, Madison.”

  Sienna looked at Aaron, her eyes wide. He sank onto a bar stool, shoulders slumped.

  “Aaron really doesn’t like flan,” Sienna said.

  Jessica paused, knife poised over the golden custard. “Sorry, dear?”

  Sienna glanced at Aaron, then cleared her throat, speaking louder. “Aaron doesn’t like flan. He really does prefer carrot cake—like you.”

  Jessica dropped the knife, frowning at her son. “Is this true, Aarón?”

  “Mom, I’ve literally been saying this for years.”

  “Well, yeah,” Dana said. “But you’re always a pain in the butt about Mexican stuff. We thought you were just being obstinate.”

  “Camilla said it’s natural for kids in a foreign land to try and hide their culture to fit in,” Jessica said.

  “I’m not in a foreign land,” Aaron said, his voice rising. “Guys, I’ve lived here my entire life. You were there!”

  “I think it’s nice you want to honor Aaron’s culture,” Sienna said quickly, breaking into the conversation. “But I think what Aaron’s trying to say is that he really doesn’t feel much of a connection to it. He wants to feel a connection to you—his family.”

  “Huh.” Jessica looked at her daughters, who all had confused looks on their faces. “I guess I never thought of it that way. You really don’t like flan?”

  “I really don’t like flan,” Aaron said.

  “Good,” Madison said. “Because that
stuff is gross.”

  Jessica laughed. She picked up the container and walked to the trash can, dropping the entire custard in.

  “Well, that’s that,” she said. “Who’s up for Scrabble?”

  Aaron’s sisters followed Jessica out of the room, talking about the high points of the party.

  Aaron pulled Sienna close as they followed behind. “Thank you,” he whispered.

  It was a small victory—minuscule, really. But Sienna was happy to have helped.

  They stayed up late, playing games and talking. They behaved like a normal family, arguing over game rules and teasing each other about cheating. For the most part, they treated Aaron like one of them. But Sienna had seen enough subtle differences throughout the day that she finally understood why Aaron felt excluded.

  His adoption was different than Hunter’s. And her heart ached for the loneliness he felt.

  They got an early start home the next morning. Even though she’d enjoyed herself, Sienna was glad. Aaron needed the afternoon to do homework before classes the next day, and Sienna was desperate to spend an afternoon in the practice room, working on her Juilliard pieces.

  As they pulled into Sienna’s apartment parking lot, Aaron leaned over and kissed her. “Thank you,” he whispered.

  “For what?”

  “For coming home with me. I know it was probably awkward and uncomfortable, but I was so glad to have you there.”

  Sienna placed a hand on Aaron’s cheek. “I wanted to come, and I’m glad I did. Seeing where you came from helps me understand you better.”

  “You mean my crazy family doesn’t make you want to run for the hills?”

  “Not at all.” She just hoped when she told Aaron about Hunter, he wouldn’t be the one running. “I’m heading to the practice room as soon as I unpack. Want to come?”

  “Sure. I’ll meet you at our corner in a half hour.”

  Sienna trudged up the stairs to her apartment and unlocked the door. Liv was in the living room, sitting in some yoga pose with textbooks spread all around her.

  “Hey,” Sienna said. “Studying?”

  “I’ve got a test in music history tomorrow that I’m totally unprepared for. How did it go with Aaron’s family?”

  Sienna dropped her duffel bag on the floor and sank onto the couch. “Aaron’s not imagining things. His family is weird. They totally treat him differently.”

  Liv raised an eyebrow. “How?”

  “His name? It’s not Aaron. It’s Aarón.”

  “Like the Spanish pronunciation?”

  “With the accent and everything.”

  Liv covered a yawn with her hand. “Okay, that’s a little odd. But lots of couples who adopt international babies do that.”

  “They made him take Spanish lessons from a Mexican neighbor growing up.”

  “Spanish is a useful language to learn.”

  “They only made him take lessons—not his sisters. Liv, when they cut the birthday cake for his mom, his sister told him there was flan in the kitchen.”

  Liv pursed her lips and tapped a finger on her chin. “Yeah, that’s a little strange. No wonder he’s weirded out by adoption. But Kyra and David aren’t like that. Hunter is totally part of their family. Heck, they gave him Kyra’s maiden name as a first name. Doesn’t get much more familial than that.”

  “You know Kyra and David aren’t like that, and I know it. But Aaron doesn’t. I think I’m even more scared to tell him now than I was before. I should’ve gotten it over with at the picnic, no matter how awkward it would’ve been.”

  “Aaron’s a good guy. It’ll surprise him, but he’ll work through it.”

  “What if he doesn’t give me a chance to explain how different our situations are?”

  “Then you don’t want him.”

  “I know that in my head. But here?” Sienna touched her heart. “I’m already too involved.”

  “Oh, S.” Liv pulled her into a hug. “When are you going to tell him?”

  Sienna took a deep breath. “Today. The longer I wait, the harder it will be.” She’d spend a few hours practicing to give herself courage, then tell him they needed to talk.

  “I think you’re making the right decision. Aaron will be okay with it. Maybe not right away, but you’ll work it out if it’s meant to be.”

  “I hope so.” Sienna grabbed her duffel bag and stood. “I’ve got to hurry and unpack, then meet him.”

  Today. In just a few hours, she’d tell him everything.

  Sienna spent an intense few hours practicing while Aaron sprawled on the floor, doing homework. The pieces were difficult enough to require all of her concentration, and it helped her calm down and forget the conversation she knew she needed to have with Aaron. By the time she started playing Aaron’s Melody for her cool down, she was sweaty but more at peace. She fiddled with the ending, adding new measures to represent the weekend spent with his family. The notes were smooth and melodic, punctuated with staccato minor chords that perfectly captured the argument over flan.

  Maybe I can wait and tell him about Hunter when we’re more serious, Sienna tried to convince herself as she played. They’d only been exclusive a week. He was her boyfriend, not her husband. She didn’t have to tell him everything.

  But she knew that wasn’t right either. Aaron deserved the truth. If their relationship was going to progress, he’d find out about Hunter eventually. It was wrong to keep it a secret when she knew how sensitive of a subject it was.

  Sienna played another minor chord, then paused to record it on her score paper so she wouldn’t forget.

  “Is that part new?” Aaron asked.

  “Yeah.” Sienna put the pencil between her teeth and played a few more notes.

  “It fits.”

  “Thanks.” She put away the sheet music and started gathering her things. “I’m ready to go if you are.”

  Sienna was quiet on the walk home. Her thoughts swirled, and she desperately tried to collect them, to turn them into something cohesive. The autumn wind bit at her face, but she barely noticed. She should just say it. The longer she waited, the harder it would be.

  They passed by Aaron’s apartment building and crossed the street to Sienna’s. He pulled on her hand, tugging her to a stop before she stepped onto the stairs.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, his brow knit in concern. “You’ve been really quiet.”

  She pulled her jacket closer around her. “I’m fine.”

  “Did you not have a good time at my parents’ this weekend?”

  “No, it’s nothing like that.”

  “You can be honest with me. If my family did something to make you uncomfortable, I want you to feel like you can tell me.”

  “Your family was wonderful.” She sighed, unfolding her arms. On the street, a car honked as it sped by a bicyclist, fraying her nerves even further. “Aaron, I need to tell you something.”

  His eyebrow rose. “Okay. Is this what you wanted to tell me at the picnic?”

  “Yes.” She gazed into his eyes and imagined them clouding with disgust. Imagined him storming across the street and out of her life.

  But no, he wasn’t like that. He was good and kind. And if he didn’t understand, it was better she find out now.

  “Sienna?” Aaron said.

  “It’s cold out here. Come inside, and I’ll make us some coffee. I think Liv’s out with Eldon right now.”

  “You’re scaring me.”

  She took his hand and tugged him toward the stairs, her heart threatening to pound out of her chest. “It will all make sense in a minute.”

  “Sie?”

  That one word sent a cascade of ice water down her spine.

  Sienna gasped, whirling around. Dane strode across the parking lot. He wore a leather jacket, his figure large and imposing.

  No, no, no. Sienna squeezed her eyes shut tight and opened them, hoping he’d disappear. Surely this was a nightmare.

  Dane stopped in front of Sienna and folded his
arms across his massive chest. “You haven’t returned any of my calls.”

  Aaron stepped closer to Sienna, his presence reassuring and terrifying all at once. “Who is this?”

  “Dane,” Sienna said. The word was almost a whisper. Terror gripped her heart. She had to get Dane out of here before he ruined everything.

  Aaron’s eyes widened. “Your ex?”

  Sienna nodded.

  “We need to talk,” Dane said. His eyes flicked to Aaron. “Privately.”

  Aaron wrapped an arm around Sienna. “She’s not going anywhere alone with you.”

  “I’m not going anywhere until we talk,” Dane said.

  Sienna shrank against Aaron. “Not returning your calls wasn’t code for show up at my apartment. How did you figure out where I live?”

  “It wasn’t that hard.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Kyra and David aren’t budging. I don’t think they’re going to let me see Hunter.”

  Sienna’s eyes flicked to Aaron. His face was a mask of confusion.

  “That’s really their decision. Dane, now isn’t a good time. I’ll call you later, okay? Tomorrow. I promise.” She slowly backed away, Aaron moving with her, and stepped onto the first stair.

  “I think they’re going to cut me from the team.” Dane’s eyes were tortured. “Ever since my ankle injury, I’m not as fast, and Coach is constantly riding me. I made a huge mistake, Sienna. We never should’ve given Hunter away. I should’ve married you so we could raise him together.”

  Sienna heard the sharp intake of breath from Aaron. Her heart pounded, and she struggled for air as black spots darted in front of her vision.

  This wasn’t how Aaron was supposed to find out.

  She should’ve told him when she had the chance.

  “That’s insane, and you know it,” Sienna said, her voice shaking.

  “Insane? He’s our son. You have to convince the Petersons to let me see him. It’s killing me.”

  “What’s he talking about?” Aaron asked. His voice was frigid, and Sienna worried her legs would give out. His eyes were blank, unreadable. But he wasn’t running away.