Dane’s eyes flicked to Aaron, as though noticing him for the first time. “You haven’t told your boyfriend?”
“Leave now, or I’m calling the police.” Sienna’s throat had a lump the size of a tuba lodged in it.
Dane laughed, but it was without humor. “You aren’t any better than me. You’re trying to hide from your past just as much as I was. And yet you get to see our son, and I don’t.” He ran a hand through his hair, cursing. “I’m not leaving town until I get an answer. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He turned and stormed away.
Sienna stumbled as her legs gave out. Aaron wrapped a strong arm around her waist, and she struggled to regain her footing. As soon as she was steady on her feet, Aaron released her.
“Aaron?” she said, her voice tentative.
“Your son?” Aaron rested his hands on his hips, chest rising and falling rapidly. “You have a son? With that jock?”
Sienna tentatively placed a hand on his arm. “That’s what I wanted to tell you. I was going to tell you Friday, but you got the call from Dana before I could.”
Aaron didn’t even glance at her hand. He folded his arms across his chest, and Sienna let her hand fall to her side.
“Hunter’s your son? Kyra and David’s son—they’re his adoptive parents. You and Dane are the bio parents.”
“Yes.” The word was barely a whisper.
“I can’t believe you’ve been lying to me.”
“I didn’t lie.” Sienna grabbed Aaron’s hand. He tried to shake it off, but she held on. “Yes, Hunter is my son. I had him when I was eighteen, and Dane wanted nothing to do with either of us. Now he’s decided he wants to be involved in Hunter’s life, which is why he’s been contacting me recently.”
“I can’t believe this.” Aaron took a step to leave. Sienna jumped in front of him.
“It’s not like your situation,” she said. “Kyra and David are amazing parents. We have an open adoption. I see Hunter every time I go home, and I video chat with him all the time. He will never feel abandoned and out of place like you have.”
“You knew how I felt about adoption, and still you kept this a secret from me.” His voice shook with emotion, and his muscles were taut.
“When was I supposed to tell you? When we first met? When you were bashing Kelsey’s sister for placing her baby?” Sienna shook her head, angry tears filling her eyes. “As soon as you asked me to be your girlfriend, I started planning when and how to tell you. But Dane beat me to it.”
“I can’t even look at you right now.” He stepped around her.
“Aaron, wait!”
“You lied to me, Sienna. You lied to me about something you knew I was sensitive about, something that is hard for me to accept and understand.”
“I didn’t lie.”
“You didn’t tell me everything. Right now, it feels like the same thing.” He backed away. “I need to think. I’ll call you when I’m ready to talk.”
“Aaron,” Sienna pleaded. He shook his head and stomped away. She watched him run across the street and disappear behind one of the buildings in his complex.
A sob tore from Sienna. Her legs finally gave out, and she sank to her knees, wrapping her arms around herself.
She should’ve told him when she had the chance. Now she’d explained it all wrong, and he might never understand.
The cold tore through her clothes until she was numb. When would she stop making life-altering mistakes?
A soft hand landed on her shoulder. “S, what happened?”
Sienna threw her arms around Liv’s neck, her chest throbbing with pain.
“He’s gone,” she said. “I’ve ruined everything. And I don’t know if I can fix it.”
Aaron wasn’t waiting for her at their corner the next morning. Sienna’s eyes were red and swollen from crying. She waited twenty minutes, guaranteeing she’d be late for class, but he didn’t show.
She seriously considered turning back around and going home. Liv was still in bed, and Sienna knew she’d be more than game for cutting class. Liv would make her fabulous double fudge brownies, and they’d spend the day watching corny movies and whining about guys.
But that wouldn’t get her into Juilliard. Sienna blinked back the tears pooling in her eyes and headed toward campus.
Aaron was understandably upset right now. But he hadn’t broken up with her last night, which had to be a good sign. He’d said he’d call when he was ready. The news had come as a shock. Once he’d had time to digest it, he’d come around.
She should’ve told him at the picnic.
Sienna sat through television history, the empty seat next to hers screaming of her mistake.
No, not a mistake—a miscalculation. Placing Hunter was a decision she’d made long before meeting Aaron, and she didn’t owe him an apology or explanation for something she’d done two years ago. Something she knew had been the right choice for her situation.
But she had known about his issues with birth mothers. And she’d kept quiet out of fear.
Sienna absently did finger exercises during class, not hearing a word Professor Callahan said. New stanzas for Aaron’s Melody danced through her head, angry and full of pain. Was their piece destined to have an unhappy ending?
After class, Kelsey came over to talk. “Hey, where’s Aaron?”
“I think he’s sick,” Sienna lied.
“Oh. Well, we wanted to get together this week to study for midterms. We were hoping to study at his apartment, but we can use the library if that doesn’t work. Maybe Thursday night around six?”
“I’ll pass the message along and get back to you,” Sienna said woodenly.
“Thanks.” Kelsey gave a little wave and left.
Outside, Sienna looked up at the gray sky. A few flakes of snow had started to fall—the first of the season. By the time she walked home, the ground would probably be coated in a thin layer of cold, wet snow. Perfect.
If Aaron wasn’t okay with dating a birth mom—and it seemed like he wasn’t—it was better she find out now. She wouldn’t give up her relationship with Hunter for anything or anyone. Even a guy she was falling in love with. The person she ultimately married would have to be someone who was okay with the Petersons as unconventional in-laws.
Marriage? she asked herself sternly. Isn’t that a little presumptuous? But somewhere along the way, that’s how Sienna had started to think of Aaron.
She trudged through the accumulating snow toward the music hall for her lesson with Dr. Stone. She needed to stop thinking about Aaron and focus on Juilliard. She had a week until they’d start recording her pieces for the pre-screening audition. Men would come and go. Music—and Hunter—were the constants in her life.
The warmth of the music hall bathed Sienna’s face. Students rushed past, many carrying instrument cases. A few said hi, but Sienna barely registered their greetings. She trudged to Dr. Stone’s office, unwinding her scarf.
Dr. Stone’s reading glasses were perched on the end of his nose, a stack of papers spread in front of him. He was probably grading original compositions for one of his classes.
“Right on time, as usual,” he said. “Start warming up. I’ll be there in a moment.”
Sienna nodded and sank onto the bench. She rolled her shoulders, trying to release some of the tension there, and started playing.
“Good,” he said when she finished her scales. “Now play me a Juilliard piece. Let’s start with Bach today.”
For the next two hours, they worked on her Juilliard pieces. Sienna took Dr. Stone’s suggestions stoically and did her best to make the changes he’d requested. But everything came out angry.
Hadn’t she been through enough? Was Aaron’s anger yet another punishment from God for her sins? She had prayed so often for grace and thought she’d been granted it.
Dr. Stone sighed, leaning back against his chair. “That’s enough for today, Sienna. We have a few minutes left if you have anything else you want to work on. Maybe the ne
w personal composition you showed me last time?”
Aaron’s Melody. Sienna took a deep breath and placed her hands on the keyboard. She slowly played, the notes tugging at her heart. She’d written this piece while falling in love with Aaron. Would it now forever be a source of pain, reminding her of what she’d lost?
She just wanted to talk to him. To know where they stood. But he’d asked for space, and she needed to respect that.
She leaned over the keys, playing the last few measures of the piece. Not quite an ending, but all she’d written so far.
Dr. Stone’s lips were pursed, pen tapping against his crossed knees.
“The hopeful note is gone from the piece. It now has that sorrowful quality the lullaby medley had.” He waved his hand through the air, as though he could call the correct words to mind. “There’s a longing—a despair—in the notes that wasn’t there before.”
Sienna’s shoulders slumped. “I’ll work on it.”
“I don’t mean that this version’s bad. But the version you played last time was a lot more compelling. This version makes me want to lock myself in a room and not come out for days. In fact, all your pieces have felt that way today. Is everything okay?”
“I’ve had a rough day. But I won’t let it affect my music again.”
“Good. We want the admissions board to be enthusiastic about what you can contribute to their music program, not catatonic with sorrow. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes.” She just didn’t know how to fix it. She closed her eyes, sending up a silent prayer. Please, Lord. Help me fix this. She couldn’t do it alone.
Dr. Stone glanced at his watch. “We have a few more minutes. Play that one again from the top. This time, focus on making it hopeful.”
Sienna took a deep breath, then placed her fingers over the keys and started playing.
I was forgiven, she reminded herself. She didn’t have to continually pay for her mistake. The Lord had forgiven her. She’d forgiven herself.
She’d only been in Pennsylvania a few weeks when she attended Pastor Tanner’s congregation for the first time. Tears had streamed down her face as the choir sang. Peace coursed through her veins, along with an overwhelming love for God. She’d known in that moment, without a doubt, that her sins were forgiven, and her slate was wiped clean.
Aaron was not her judge. She pressed the piano pedal to the floor and played an arpeggio. If he couldn’t accept her, she didn’t want to be with him.
Peace washed over her, and a tear trickled down her cheek.
The Lord had a plan for her. There was someone out there who would love her not in spite of her mistakes, but because her mistakes had shaped her into the person she was today. And he would love Hunter just as much as she did.
Aaron was not a punishment. He was just a boy, trying to deal with his own baggage. Whatever happened, Sienna would be okay.
She played the last note, her arms aching with the force of her emotions.
“That was beautiful,” Dr. Stone said. “Draw on that emotion, whatever it is, and you’ll ace your Juilliard audition. Next time we’ll work on that transition midway through the piece. It was a little rough, but if we work on your fingering, we can smooth it out.”
Sienna nodded. If she and Aaron couldn’t work things out, it would hurt like the devil. But she would be okay. God had a plan for her life.
Sienna’s phone buzzed as she left the music room. Her heart soared with hope. Maybe Aaron was ready to talk.
Dane: In the student center. We need to talk.
Sienna chewed on her lip, trying to decide how to respond. Dane was the last person she wanted to see.
Dane: I can come to your apartment if that’s easier for you.
Sienna blinked back angry tears. He wouldn’t leave her alone until she talked to him. Better to just get it over with. She wasn’t scared of Dane, but she didn’t want to have this conversation at her apartment either. If she didn’t respond, he’d probably just wait for her there.
Sienna: Be right there.
Her nerves grew with each step she took toward the student center. It was dinner time, so the center was crowded with hungry students. This time, she didn’t have to look around for Dane. He was sitting in the same alcove where they’d met the first time. Had that really only been six weeks ago?
She closed her eyes and said a quick prayer. Lord, help me know what to say.
Dane looked up when she sat her backpack on the floor, his eyes rimmed red but relieved.
“I didn’t know if you’d really come,” he said.
“I figured you’d keep harassing me until we spoke.” She sank into the chair, giving him her full attention.
His eyes clouded with regret. “I’m sorry about last night. I was a jerk.”
“Yeah, you were.”
“Is your boyfriend really pissed?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but yeah, he is. I hadn’t had the chance to tell him about Hunter yet, and now he won’t talk to me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Want to tell me what happened to make you freak out like that?”
Dane ran a hand through his hair. “I talked to Kyra and David yesterday morning, and they said that they’d be happy to get together while I was in Provo for the game, but they didn’t feel comfortable letting me meet Hunter yet. I lost it. Next thing I knew, I was driving to Philadelphia and trying to figure out where you lived.”
“How did you find me?”
“I got lucky. You’d posted a few pictures online that had your apartment building in them, and I was trying to match them to the buildings. You just happened to be outside when I walked by.”
Sienna shivered. Those pictures were going down tonight. If Dane had been a creeper . . .
But he wasn’t. Just a desperate man full of regret.
“It doesn’t sound like Kyra and David said no,” Sienna said gently. “They just want to make sure you’re going to stick around. Prove to them you want to know Hunter for the right reasons, and that you’re in it for the long haul. If you do, eventually you’ll get to meet him.”
Dane looked up, and Sienna was shocked to see that his eyes glistened with tears. “I’m so sorry, Sienna. I was selfish and immature. I put you through hell. You didn’t deserve that.”
The pain and regret sliced through her. For the first time in years, she saw a glimpse of the boy she’d fallen in love with.
Forgiveness is the final form of love. Aaron’s tattoo popped vividly into her mind, the elegant cursive writing almost a song.
Sienna reached forward, taking Dane’s hand in both of hers. She waited until he met her gaze. “I forgave you a long time ago.”
Dane hung his head, wiping furiously at his eyes. “Thank you,” he choked out. “I never meant to hurt you like that. I loved you.”
“I loved you, too. You hurt me a lot. But that’s in the past, and I’ve moved on. You need to move on, too. If you want to be part of Hunter’s life, prove it. Show up. Be a man. Talk to the Peterson’s and accept their terms. Convince them that their son will be safe knowing you, even if it takes years.”
“I will,” Dane said.
“I hope you do. But you have to stop putting me in the middle. I’m not going to influence Kyra and David’s decision. Hunter’s their son, and they are the ones that need to make the choice.”
Dane slowly nodded and stood. “I won’t bother you anymore. And I will fight for Hunter.”
“He’s worth fighting for.”
“Can I get a hug goodbye?”
Sienna nodded and stood. Dane’s arms felt familiar and warm, but the old spark was forever extinguished. They held each other for a long moment, neither saying anything.
It was the closure their relationship had never received. She hadn’t realized how much she wanted that until now.
Dane pulled away, wiping at his eyes. “Sorry about your boyfriend.”
“If it’s meant to be, we’ll work it out.�
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Dane nodded. “I wish you all the best, Sienna.”
“You too,” Sienna said.
As she watched Dane walk away, she felt a new level of peace. She had a feeling this wasn’t the last she’d be seeing of Dane. And that was okay, because it meant he was finally ready to be a part of Hunter’s life.
Hunter would never have to wonder about his birth family the way Aaron had. She could live with that.
She closed her eyes, thanking God that the conversation with Dane had gone well. Now if only she could have as happy a resolution with Aaron.
Sienna didn’t hear from Aaron at all that day. Or the next. But early Wednesday morning, before television history, she got a text.
Aaron: Going to campus early so won’t be able to walk with you. Can we talk after class?
Sienna quickly texted back. Yes. She’d scheduled a practice room, but she’d skip it.
She walked to school alone, the cold air biting through her coat and making the early snow swirl around her feet. She stepped into class and looked around, hoping to see Aaron’s signature dreads. Maybe his lips would even turn up in a slight smile, asking for a truce.
Sienna passed over the women and men with short hair, her heart dropping. He wasn’t here. Hiding out in the library, maybe?
She claimed their usual seats, near the middle of the middle row. She kept watch as the room slowly filled. Still no Aaron.
Professor Callahan called the class to order, and Aaron hadn’t arrived. Sienna did one last scan of the room and finally located him. He must’ve just slipped in. He sat on the back row, one seat in from the end. The same chair he’d sat in on the day they met.
Her heart sank. Whatever he wanted to say to her, it couldn’t be good.
Class dragged. Sienna nervously did finger exercises on the desk, a staccato, anxious addition to Aaron’s Melody floating through her head. She barely heard a word of the lecture. Her stomach twisted in apprehension when the professor released the class.
The room broke up in noisy conversation as students gathered their bags and started to leave. Sienna stuffed her laptop into her backpack and slowly turned around.
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