Unhinged

by A. G. Howard

  Wearing an amused expression, Morpheus steps back to allow Rabid to scramble onto the mattress. The black cords slither up the edge behind him.

  “The insects, listen you should!” Rabid yelps as the cords strike and wrap around his antlers, yanking him to his stomach atop my quilt. “Please, Majesty!”

  I hold up my hand, and the earbuds go limp.

  “I said, Is Red here?” The power behind my voice surprises even me.

  Rabid shakes his head no as Morpheus helps untangle his antlers. “A flower she chose to be. Lead the forest in a revolt. Amplifying pastries for all. Thorns the size of dragon talons. First, they wake the dead. Shake the foundations, free the consecrated.” Frothy white saliva drizzles from the corners of his lips. “Then divide and conquer the living. Enslave them all.”

  Terror, as dark as a raven’s wing, casts a shadow across my thoughts. So that’s what the bugs were trying to tell me. They weren’t referring to the flowers here in the human realm but to the ones in Wonderland. Queen Red has gathered a giant flower army.

  “It won’t work, will it?” I ask Morpheus as he adjusts the volume on the earbuds and coaxes Rabid to listen to the music once more. “The cemetery is hallowed ground. Right? No full-blooded netherling can step inside the cemetery gates. That’s what you told me.”

  Morpheus sweeps the towel off the bed and crosses to my aquarium, blotting up the puddles. “That’s true for those of us who live,” he answers without turning, “but Red is a dead inhabitant in a living body. She’s no longer held to the natural laws of our world.”

  His flippant use of the term natural in reference to Wonderland almost makes me snort.

  “Red can cross the boundaries of the cemetery gates because part of her belongs there already,” he continues. “If she made it inside, she could free the dead, for she knows the secrets of the maze. But she would have to get through the Twid Sisters. That wouldn’t be easy.”

  “I remember.” My feet jitter as I picture both the twins’ spidery bottom halves beneath their gowns. Sister One has her charms, but Sister Two …

  I faced her side of the cemetery, felt the cold chill of blades along my neck as she threatened me with her mutated hand. I stood under her trees ornamented with toys possessed by the spirits of the dead. I’ll never forget how their eyes pierced me with agony.

  “When the twins stand united,” Morpheus continues, “they are the two most formidable netherlings in all the land. The only way for anyone to defeat them is to put them at odds so they aren’t working together. Since both twins hate Red for her successful escape last year, it’s doubtful she could break them apart.” He says the word doubtful quietly while tracing the glass of the aquarium. His profile is troubled as my eels follow his finger, mesmerized.

  Morpheus loves his world. It’s why he’s so adamant about getting my help. I’ve seen the destruction in my dreams, and the violence in my mosaics. It would be heartbreaking for such a beautifully unique and bizarre land to succumb to Red’s schemes.

  Nausea winds through me. This entire disaster is my fault. I made it possible by drying up the ocean last year, by giving the flower fae a path into the heart of Wonderland, and by freeing Red’s spirit from the cemetery so she’d have access to a new body.

  I stumble toward my bed, almost tripping over my dress. Morpheus is at my side in an instant and steadies me until I’m seated next to Rabid.

  Rabid drops the earbuds to the floor, scoots close, and pats my gloved hand, brittle fingers snagging on the lace. “Majesty,” he croons. “Please … no exile for Rabid of the family White. Ever your loyal subject. Stay with you always.” He reaches inside his wet waistcoat and offers a key that looks just like mine with a ruby on top.

  “You’re not staying here,” I answer, wrapping his bony fingers around his key. I point to the closet behind us. “Get back inside until we can figure out a way to get you home.”

  Rabid’s pink eyes lose their shimmer, as if a curtain of cotton candy has fallen across them. He tucks his key into his coat’s inner pocket and shivers. “Rabid wet be.”

  Touched by his discomfort, I pick up the thimble and give it to him. “Dry yourself off and keep quiet in there.”

  The light in his eyes reignites. “A prize to keep! Generous are you!” He presses the thimble into place on his antler, scoots across the bed, drops down, and shuts himself in the closet, leaving me alone with Morpheus.

  “You said home.” Morpheus looks down at me, expression hopeful. “You admitted it. Wonderland is your home.”

  I shake my head. “I meant his home.”

  Didn’t I?

  I shake the doubts from my head, suspicious again of Morpheus’s part in all of this. “You were with the flower fae in my dream when I was drowning.” I look up at him pointedly.

  He steps back, scowling. “Obviously Red hadn’t yet bribed them to aid her cause. Stop finding reasons to doubt me. We need to work together.”

  My fingers trace the pearls on my dress, letting the slick, cool bumps soothe me. “I don’t know how to work with you.”

  “You did when we were childhood playmates,” he answers, his expression as close to humble as I’ve ever seen it.

  My fists clench around the fabric of my dress. “Before I knew you were a liar. You and my mom. That’s all netherlings do. The only people I can depend on are … people. My dad, Jeb, Jenara. Humans haven’t let me down. Not like you have.”

  His black eyes soften to a depth of emotion that surprises me. He actually looks wounded. “Perhaps because you hold me to a different standard. You won’t give me the benefit of the doubt, as you do them. You act as if I’ve never done right by you.”

  My attention drops to my gloved hands. He trained me to know the Wonderland creatures, to understand how to survive in the nether-realm. He stood by me in the car earlier, facing down a train … and it was not the first time he looked death in the face so I wouldn’t have to.

  He has moments of courage, tenderness, even selflessness. But he’ll put anyone or anything at risk in a heartbeat if it gets him something he wants. I lift my eyes to meet Morpheus’s gaze. “Earn my trust.”

  “How?” he asks.

  “By telling me the truth. What went on between you and my mom? Did you seduce all the Liddell women? Did you tell them the same pretty words you told me?” I curl my legs beneath my dress, feeling small and vulnerable for even asking.

  Morpheus scoots aside some glass with his boot and kneels. He takes my hand in his. “I’ve known but three generations of Liddell women. Counting the ones in London, there’s been twenty or so. Most were oblivious and unreachable—they didn’t hear the nether-call. The others weren’t strong enough to face their lineage without losing their minds. As for Alison, she and I were business partners. There has never been more than that between us. There’s only one Liddell I desire, only one who earns my undying devotion.” He works a fingertip into the lace at my elbow and drags off the glove. “The one who was my truest friend … who took my place and braved the attack that was meant for me.”

  I hold my breath as he trails his thumb along the scars on my palm.

  “But I didn’t know what I was doing,” I insist. “I was just a naïve kid who wanted to protect her pet bug.”

  “I don’t believe that.” He holds my hand in his. “Self-sacrifice is innate in you. Your mum wanted the crown for the power, but you faced Wonderland’s tests to save your family; just as you faced the bandersnatch for Chessie; and then Red … you faced Red, all alone, for Jebediah. Can you not face her one last time, with me by your side, for Wonderland?”

  I try to drag my hand free of his, but he holds me tighter. “Please, that’s enough.”

  “It will never be enough,” he insists, guiding my palm to his chest so I can feel his pounding heartbeat. “I will not stop until you’re reigning over the Red court forever. Until you’re back with us where you belong.”

  “I don’t belong there.”

  “You
do. Because of who you are. What you are. One half brimming with dark curiosities and a fierce appetite for all things mad. But the other half whimsy and light—filled with courage and loyalty.” He bites his lower lip, a gesture so minute I might’ve imagined it. “Nothing can break the chains you have on my heart. For you are Wonderland.”

  The endless depth of his eyes is at once ominous and tranquil. Light glints off the glass around him on the floor, speckling his face as if he’s cloaked in stars. Somewhere there’s a memory of him like this—an enchanted child sitting beneath the nether-realm’s constellations and telling me the same thing: You are Wonderland. That is your whole; accept it, and you can rule our world…

  The memory, like this moment, is a living thing—lapping at my soul, hot enough to burn, yet chilling to my blood.

  “Alyssa,” Morpheus murmurs. “We were children together. I’ve waited for your return more years than your mortal knight has even known you existed.”

  I can’t bring myself to meet his gaze again … can’t bring myself to face him or the temptation he’s awakened. I want to give in, to embrace him and Wonderland and its endearing yet macabre creatures, to seize all of the deranged beauty and power that waits for me there and never let go.

  But that isn’t right. That isn’t the future I have mapped out. I belong with Jeb and the people I love, here.

  I pull my hand out of Morpheus’s. Only the aquarium’s hum and the sound of bubbles racing up the filter break the silence.

  Morpheus sighs. “Enough indecisiveness. It is time for us to go to Wonderland.”

  “I won’t leave until I find a way to tell Jeb the truth,” I say. “I want my future with him to be based on honesty. He has to know why I’m gone … where I am. When I’ll be back.”

  Morpheus’s frown is soft but stubborn. “You’ve already waited too long, trying to ignore what’s happening. If Red isn’t already here, she will be soon … and all the mortals you love will be in danger. Is that what you want?”

  I groan and bury my face in my hands. “Of course not,” I answer into my fingers.

  “It is your place to step up and be the queen. Red cannot win,” Morpheus insists. “It’s not a game this time. It’s life and death.”

  It’s not a game this time.

  This time.

  I drop my hands to the edge of the bed and push myself up. He follows my lead, appearing puzzled. Although I barely come to his chest, a surge of resentment makes me feel taller by at least six inches.

  “What you called a game last time was life and death to me.” I can’t suppress a snarl. “It was you and Mom who made me jump through all those hoops. The two of you together should have enough magic to fight Red. Why is it my responsibility to throw away all my plans and risk my life again?”

  Morpheus’s mood flashes from gentle to formidable in a matter of seconds. He grasps my chin so I can’t look anywhere but at him. The touch surprises me, because Finley’s hands aren’t soft and ethereal like Morpheus’s usually are. They’re callused and human, like Jeb’s.

  “You are just as responsible as we are,” Morpheus says. “For not following my instructions to the letter. You chose to listen to mortal sentimentalities over netherling genius. The same mistake she made when she chose your father. You disappointed me once, Alyssa. Dare not do it again.”

  I drag my chin free. “I disappointed you?” I’m so tired of his arrogance. “You should go. I’m really done looking at your face.”

  He grins—a malicious flash of white teeth. “You mean Finley’s face.”

  I cringe, thinking once more of the human guy trapped down in Wonderland. “Get out,” I insist. “I want you gone before my dad gets here.”

  When Morpheus doesn’t budge, I animate the earbuds to strike at his boots.

  He kicks them away. “Lacks imagination, little luv. You’ll have to do better than that to defeat me. And those antics won’t even put a dent in Red’s armor.”

  He’s right. But I’m emotionally and physically spent. There’s an ache that starts in my heart and goes all the way through to my muscles, bones, and blood.

  “I need time to think, to rest,” I whisper. No more revelations, no more arguing. “Leave. And don’t visit my dreams tonight.”

  Morpheus huffs and starts for the door. “As if I could in this form.”

  He’s almost in the hall when I grab his elbow. “What do you mean?”

  Tensing against my fingers, he turns. “My powers are spent retaining this blasted glamour of Finley. I haven’t been in your mind, dreams or otherwise, since you were unconscious in the water.”

  “You’re lying.”

  He rounds on me, slaps a hand to the door frame overhead, and pins me between him and the wall. “What makes you think I’ve been in your dreams?” Underneath the sinister fathoms of his eyes, his jewels glimmer yellow-orange like goldenrods, the shade of apprehension.

  “First off, because you sent the clown to the hospital.”

  “I already told you I didn’t send any toys.”

  “But it’s been everywhere you’ve been. It was in the mirror at school, shaking that snow globe from my memory of the Shop of Human Eccentricities. And then there’s the blood sword I dreamed about—that had your fingerprints all over it.”

  He leans closer. “You had a dream about your blood? Why didn’t you tell me this?”

  “Because you already knew.” I dig my nails into my palms, wanting to strangle him.

  “No, Alyssa. I did not. That dream could be symbolic, implanted in your mind by your crown-magic. Perhaps your blood will be used as a weapon … possibly against you.”

  “No. You said Red can’t use my blood because she’s not human.”

  Jaw clenched, Morpheus squeezes the door frame. “You are the most vexing creature I’ve ever had the misfortune to know!”

  I glance down at my boots. There’s a tickle at my ear as he catches my red strand of hair and tugs it to get my attention.

  His expression softens. “I have never once claimed to be trustworthy,” he states matter-of-factly. “But there’s something I can say with all honesty. I have always pushed you toward your best.”

  I huff. “Right. Even if it means I end up dead.”

  He shakes his head. “Not so. Our fates are entwined. That is the one abiding truth from our time together. It makes sense I would want to see you succeed.”

  Jerking my hair free, I shove his chest with a fist. “Nothing about you or Wonderland makes sense. And the ‘one abiding truth’ is that life was so much easier when I’d forgotten your massive ego and that other world ever existed.”

  A tremor shifts through his features, first fragile, then severe. His muscles twitch under his T-shirt, sending a tingling sensation through my knuckles. “You want me nonexistent?”

  Before I can respond, he steps back and flips the hat from his head. Then he drags off his vest and his T-shirt, dropping them all on the floor at my feet. Once he’s peeled off his necklace and bracelets, he stands there facing me in only jeans and boots.

  Finley’s chest and abs are tanned, toned, and scarred. Another tattoo—an angry skull and crossbones—slashes his pecs, but I see through all of that to Morpheus’s smooth porcelain skin.

  I watch him warily. “W-w-what are you doing?”

  “I’m clearing the way for my massive ego.” His long legs close the space between us. He catches my waist. I wriggle to get free, but he lifts me until I’m flush with the wall, my chin almost touching his.

  I swallow and level my gaze, pushing against his muscled shoulders.

  He leans close as if to kiss me.

  I stiffen. “Morpheus, don’t.”

  He hesitates, curses, and then lowers me. My gown’s netting and satin catch between him and the wall. When my feet finally touch the floor, the dress is bunched around my thighs, revealing more of my bare legs than I like. I push the fabric down, blushing.

  He smirks, and I lunge to slap the smugness off his fa
ce. Without missing a beat, he sidesteps me and ends up at the center of the room.

  “I suggest you stay where you are, Your Majesty,” he says before I can move again. “Wouldn’t want you to get caught in the cross fire.”

  His fingertips burst into orbs of light as he lifts his hands. Blue electric filaments reach to every corner of the room. The glass on the floor jingles and hops, as if an earthquake is shaking the house. My eels dive into their hiding cave, and Rabid whimpers from the closet.

  The shadow of Morpheus’s wings looms high behind his shoulders, then enfolds him, like a moonflower closing when the sunlight torches its petals. He’s quickly surrounded by a cloud, thick as fog and scented of hookah smoke, with echoes of blue lightning within.

  In a blink, his wings fully manifest and slice the smoky haze, peeling it back to reveal him in his true state: flawless, pale skin, masquerade-style patches curved like ivy beneath his eyes. The teardrop-shaped jewels flash bright and blinding through a rainbow of colors, so many moods they can’t be read.

  Finley’s cropped hair has transformed to a mass of blue, shoulder-length tangles, messy from the static of the magic still emanating from Morpheus’s fingertips. His wings spread out behind him—at once intimidating and majestic.

  All traces of the glamour are gone. It’s Morpheus in the flesh.

  I lean against the wall, my wing buds itching to join him in his metamorphosis. The tattoos have vanished from his forearm, and his birthmark shimmers a soft blue, coils of magic writhing like a snake beneath it.

  My fingertips twitch, remembering how they touched him there last summer … how he healed me.

  With a grand flourish, he extinguishes the electric pulses from his hands.

  “We shall see how you fare without me.” His voice is gritty and raw. “My guess is you won’t even make it through school tomorrow before you’re on your knees begging for my return.” He tosses his car keys on the floor atop the hat and other pieces of clothing.

  He transforms into the large moth and hovers in midair. His voice ignites in my mind: “I won’t be seeking you in your dreams, tonight or any other. You will have to find me now. I’ll be hiding among lost memories. Sleep tight, luv.”